by H. D. Gordon
In fact, every time I’d visited this place, even as a child, I had always been scared.
Someone touched my arm, and I was pulled from my thoughts with a little jolt. Nick’s brown eyes, which had been so guarded with me as of late, were softer now, more sympathetic. It struck me then with some shocking clarity that perhaps I was not the only Halfling who came to Tectus Island and was afraid.
“Everything is going to be fine,” Nick assured me. “Just let me do the talking, okay?”
My jaw clenched, and I spoke so low that I could scarcely hear myself. In Tectus Island, it felt as though one was always being listened in on. “You can’t tell them about my neighbor,” I said. I didn’t need to be more specific. We both understood what I meant.
Nick let out a small huff, his wide chest rising and falling, and his ginger hair sticking out in its usual way. He placed his large hands on my shoulders, and his handsome face finally dropped the mask he’d been putting on between his true feelings and me.
“Do you trust me, Aria?” he asked.
It was a small question, and yet somehow it felt big. Without much thought, I nodded. I did trust Nick Ramhart. I’d trusted him since I was a little girl, and despite recent events, that hadn’t just gone away.
Nick’s gaze was intense, almost pleading. “Then, for once, just let me handle this. Don’t speak unless you’re forced to? Okay? Please.”
My tongue ran out over my lips as I looked back at the Silver Mountain building, where the superiors of the Peace Brokers were waiting for me. My mouth felt dry, my soul terribly conflicted.
“Okay,” I said, and allowed Nick to take my hand and lead me inside.
CHAPTER 51
The doors swung open silently, gliding like two ghosts in the night, which was a feat that always amazed me. They were enormous, those doors, fitting perfectly within the mountain that housed them, made of dark, ancient wood and arched as sharply as a wizard’s hat.
As they yielded to permit us, there was a rush of cold air, a soft glow from within, like light with the absence of heat. My hand tightened around Nick’s, and he gave me a nod, his face all business now that we’d entered.
I had to admit I’d always found him devastatingly handsome when he looked like this, but it was hard to enjoy with my heart hammering so hard in my chest.
The doors led into a narrow hall with a ceiling so high that it was hard to pinpoint. Lamps lit with firelight lined the walls, leading the way, curving around the corner ahead and out of sight. No one came to greet us. Everyone who needed to be here would already be inside.
Nick and I followed the passage until it opened up into a gigantic cavern, the room widening and the ceiling stretching away further still. Stalactites dripped down from the ceiling, meeting stalagmites at the base and forming incredible columns that glittered and sparkled in the soft light of the place.
If not for the five superiors sitting upon their throne-like seats—which were formed from stalagmites as well—the place may have incited pause to admire its beauty. As it was, my focus was laser-directed toward the Halfling superiors whose watchful eyes were pinning me.
The only sound in the cavern was of mine and Nick’s soft footsteps, and the rapid pounding of my heart. Despite being nervous, I fell naturally into the easy, controlled appearance they’d trained me to adopt. When one gets banished, and then is forced to see her banishers again, the very last thing in the world she wants is for them to see how they affected her.
The very last thing I wanted was for them to think I had not been okay, because I had been. I’d been doing just fine on my own.
Right?
The five superiors consisted of three women and two men. The one seated in the middle was the speaker, and she addressed us with the same cold regard as she’d shown me over four months ago. Her name was Commander Kali.
The superiors were all Halflings, of course, and as such only had first names. Operatives like Nick and myself, were assigned last names, so that we could live in the human world, but the superiors, who worked and lived on Tectus Island, had no need for them.
There was not a Peace Broker alive who didn’t know the names Kali, Leopine, Sae, Minc, and Tyne. Halflings learned of these people the same way humans learned about their kings and presidents. I, along with my peers, could recite the superiors going back centuries, knew the tales of their heroics and accomplishments.
Commander Kali, with a regal incline of her sharp chin and even sharper eyes, said, “Children.”
Like good little soldiers, Nick and I bowed our heads. It would be a lie to say I didn’t feel some serious reluctance to complete the action. We stood with our hands clasped behind our backs, our feet at attention.
“Tell me,” Kali continued, “the circumstances surrounding the Scarecrow.”
She was clearly asking Nick, her gaze only skimming over and dismissing me. Nick stood strong and still, his face impassive, the only indication of his nerves the stronger prominence of his Scottish accent when he spoke.
“As reported, the escaped convict was dispatched two nights prior,” Nick said. “Bringing the Scarecrow in alive was not an option, and his death was a result of self-defense on my part. Before we were able to stop him, he murdered a human child. The child’s unfortunate demise was covered cleanly and brought no suspicion from the human world.”
It was a testament to my self-control that I was able to keep my head from whipping to the side to look at Nick. I hadn’t known what he was going to say, but I hadn’t expected him to accept responsibility for killing the Scarecrow. As Peace Brokers, we’d been taught that all life is precious, and the taking of one—no matter the quality of the person from which it was taken—was no small thing.
No, admitting to killing was a game-changer. Nick, though his actions would likely be dismissed as necessary, would forever be branded in the eyes of those in this world. It didn’t occur to me until much later, but the Peace Brokers only approved of killing when it was on their terms.
There was an appropriate moment of silence as the superiors absorbed this. Then, Commander Kali said, “How did Aria assist in the mission?”
My teeth clenched as the superior spoke about me as though I was not in the room.
Again, Nick spoke up. “Aria was instrumental in locating the Scarecrow, helped to retrieve and rescue a human child from his clutches, and was fully cooperative and professional the entire time, ma’am.”
Kali’s gaze flicked to me, and back to Nick. “Those are statements you make with the understanding that your own status among us is contingent upon them, correct?”
Without hesitation, Nick nodded. “Yes, ma’am. That’s correct.”
My heart swelled at this, feeling both pride and guilt simultaneously at Nick’s words, at this entire gesture. I wanted to both kiss him and slap him for it, and I couldn’t really sort out why. My emotions felt as tangled as a thin-chained necklace.
The five sets of eyes staring at us all seemed to move to me as one, and a lump the size of Alaska formed in my throat.
“Is this information you corroborate?” asked Kali.
I nodded, my head feeling like it was on a string. “Yes, ma’am,” I confirmed.
Silence fell as the superiors whispered things too low for Nick and I to pick up, even with our strong ears. Nick and I continued to stand like soldiers at attention.
At last, after only Gods knew how many minutes had passed, Commander Kali nodded, and her fellow superiors once again grew silent.
“What’s your suggestion on how we should proceed, Nicolas?” she said.
This surprised Nick as much as it did me, as the superiors were not wont to ask for the opinions of operatives in such matters. It could mean only one thing, that Nick Ramhart was one of the operatives the superiors were considering making a successor. It meant that one day, my mentor would likely be a superior of the Peace Brokers.
It meant that Nick was literally risking his future by backing me, and somehow, this
thought was crushing in its realization.
Again, without hesitation, Nick spoke words that felt terribly final, words that I wasn’t sure I really wanted him to speak. He said, “It’s my recommendation that Aria be reinstated to the Peace Brokers as an operative restored to her former position, as the superiors promised to consider upon the beginning of this mission.”
It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room, and I found that I could hardly breathe.
Kali said, “If we do accept your recommendation, and reinstate the banished, do you take personal responsibility for her? Are you willing to be her superior officer, and to account for any actions she may take under your command?”
My heart stopped completely now. As I stood stalk-still, part of my mind was screaming at me to speak up, to protest this, but the other part of me urged to stay silent, and not embarrass Nick.
So I just continued to stand in silence. It was a decision I would come to regret.
Nick nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Of course.”
The heads of the superiors leaned together once more. A whisper or two passed between them. Then, Commander Kali said, “Fine. It has been decided. Aria Fae is once more admitted into the Peace Brokers, under the charge of Nicolas Ramhart. Aria will close up her current affairs in Grant City, and the two of you will resume your posts.”
I could hardly believe what I was hearing, felt almost like I had stepped into some kind of dream, and was now ready to wake up. As quickly as they had thrown me out, they’d just let me back in? It was enough to make my head spin.
With this proclamation, Nick and I were dismissed, and together, we exited the Silver Mountain.
Once we stepped out into the open, the blue sky of Tectus Island hanging above us, I was finally able to find my voice. “What just happened?” I asked.
I’d been speaking to myself, but it was Nick who answered. His aura was practically glowing with excitement, and for whatever reason, it made my heart ache to see it. He wrapped his strong arms around me and lifted me off my feet, swinging me around in a circle.
When he set me back down, it still felt like the world was spinning out of control beneath me. “What just happened is, you’re back!” Nick said. “You get to come back. Aria, you’re a Peace Broker again!”
CHAPTER 52
This time, when I stepped through the portal that took us back to the human world, my head was spinning for an entirely different reason. I could hardly process a coherent thought, but instead, swam in a tumultuous sea of emotion. I felt as though I were falling, and had no idea when I’d hit bottom.
As Nick and I landed back in my dingy apartment in Grant City, I stumbled and caught myself on the counter of my kitchen space, using the support to steady my feet.
In contrast, Nick practically burst through the portal with balloons and streamers. Seeing him so excited caused a clench in my heart.
“Let’s grab whatever stuff you have and go home,” he said, looking about my apartment. His demeanor was not dissimilar to a child in a candy store. He went over to my trunk, where the only things I really owned were stored, and hefted it up over his shoulder with the ease of a stout man. Nick was grinning ear-to-ear when he turned back to me. “That should about do it,” he joked.
Then, his face fell as he looked at me. I chewed at my lip, unmoving from my spot leaning against the counter, unmoving save for the sluggish thud of my aching heart, the rise and fall of my chest.
Nick set my trunk down on the floor and approached me. I found I couldn’t meet his eyes, and instead, stared out my window, where I saw snowflakes had begun to fall in Grant City. They would soon coat the place in a soft white.
The familiar scent of Nick washed over me as he came close, bracing his strong arms on either side of me, trapping me between his wide chest and the counter at my back. I tucked my chin, my jaw clenched against the prickling in my eyes. There seemed to be something terribly cumbersome lodged in my throat.
His fingers touched my chin, slowly and gently raising my gaze to his. “Aria,” Nick said. “What’s wrong? I thought… you’d be happier. You’re coming home. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” His dark eyes traveled down to my lips, and his handsome smile—a smile I had been in love with since I was just a small girl—tugged up the corners of his lips. “You don’t have to be alone ever again.”
There was a hitch in my chest, because that was the thing, wasn’t it? I hadn’t been alone, had I? No, I’d found things here. I’d found people here. Maybe more than that. Maybe a lot more. Maybe it was myself I’d found here.
“I just… I don’t know what to do,” I admitted, cringing at the instant hurt and anger that came over Nick’s face as he absorbed this information.
There was a studied calm, a precursor to a storm, behind his eyes when he said, “What do mean, ‘you don’t know what to do’?”
I ducked away from him, slipping out of the cage of his arms and putting some distance between us, not because I was afraid of him, but because I couldn’t think clearly with him so near.
I swallowed hard as Nick stared at me, waiting for my answer. There really was only one way to say it.
“I don’t know if I’m going back,” I said.
There. It was done. The words were out and I could not retract them.
A moment of silence followed where I scarcely drew in air. I expected an explosion, and almost would have preferred to get one. It might have made things easier. Then, again, probably not.
In life, one will inevitably find themselves in situations where there is no way to escape some pain. On the plus side, these were usually the things that made us stronger. But I was not at that point yet. I was on the other side of the grid.
No, Nick Ramhart did not react to my admittance with anger. Instead, his shoulders dropped a fraction, and his head tipped down to his chest. He shoved his hands in his pockets, let out a breath, and at last, raised his chin to meet my eyes.
As he looked at me now, I knew without a doubt I would have preferred some anger from him, because the disappointment on his face was much more painful. I deserved to be yelled at, or chastised. He’d gone in front of the superiors and put his own reputation, his name, and his future with the Peace Brokers on the line for me, and I was standing here telling him this had not made up my mind.
“I want you to come back,” Nick said, and took two steps toward me that I was helpless to retreat from. Nick had been born in Scotland, and raised by the Brokers there until the age of thirteen, and I could always tell when he was deadly serious about something, because his accent would become more prominent. It was just one of the many characteristics that had so endeared me to him.
“I want you to come back,” he repeated, “and I want you to never leave again. You belong with the family that raised you, Aria, with your own kind. And you belong with me. You’ve always belonged with me. I’m sorry it took you leaving for me to realize this, but now that I have, I can’t just let you go.”
Now tears were inevitable, and I gulped in air to keep them back. “Nick, I—”
“I love you, Aria,” he said, cutting me off with those three crazy words. “I’ve loved you since we were children, and you should know that.”
My mouth fell open. I was going to tell him that I loved him, too. Because I did. Gods knew I did. And, yet…
Nick cut me off with a shake of his head, making the words dry up in my throat. He moved toward the door without a look back at me. Over his shoulder, he said, “I can buy you some time. Maybe two days. But after that, I’ll need to know what you decide. I’ll need to know your answer.”
With this, he opened the door and pulled it quietly shut behind him, leaving me to make the hardest decision I would probably ever make in my life.
CHAPTER 53
Two days. That was the timeframe he’d given me. It was more than fair, and yet, I found that it felt terribly insufficient. My heart was split, right down the center, and no matter what, one side of it would ha
ve to be left behind.
The day was New Year’s Eve, and I’d made a promise to Sam, Matt and Caleb weeks ago that I would attend the parade that Grant City put on every year in celebration. Needless to say, I didn’t feel at all like going, but the possibility of this being the last time I had an outing with Samantha Shy ignited in me a refusal to back out of it. Depending on what I decided, this could be the last time I saw her.
It was funny how time and experience changed you. Four months ago, I would have given anything to put my banishment from the Peace Brokers behind me, would have jumped through hoops of fire to get them to let me back in. Now, I almost wished someone else could make this decision for me.
I shrugged the long, velvety coat Caleb had given me once the weather started turning a month ago over my shoulders, buttoned it up, and headed out. When I reached Sam’s apartment building a handful of minutes later, I found her already waiting for me on the steps. Her strawberry-blonde hair was piled up on her head, some of the falling snowflakes catching in it, and she’d put on some eye shadow and added a light pink gloss to her lips.
A grin came to my face upon seeing her; there was no way one could not.
“You look rather lovely this evening, Miss Shy,” I said, holding my arm out to her.
With a blush and giggle, Sam laced her arm through mine. “You clean up pretty nice yourself, Miss Fae.” She said, and paused, some of the playfulness escaping her tone as her voice lowered. “How did things go with the Brokers? You didn’t get in any trouble, did you?”
We began to walk down the sidewalk, following the direction of the crowd that was starting to spill into the streets. From what I understood, the New Year’s Eve Parade was one of the biggest annual events in Grant City, and everyone from children to grandparents came out to watch the lights of the city come on.
