by Vivian Lux
Cecily took a deep breath. "You left the meeting with CTN early yesterday? Because you weren't feeling well?"
I could barely remember. That felt like a lifetime ago. How could I ever have felt bad when right now I felt so good...so good...so good...
"I'm good!" I said, tightly, gritting my teeth. My body was starting to betray me, rocking in rhythm with Cal's thrusting fingers. I felt Gray starting to lengthen against my back, and his breath quickened in my ear while in the other ear Cecily was saying...something... "What?" I said again.
" — at Monday’s rescheduled meeting?"
"Yes! Yes! Oh god, yes, I'm coming!" I cried as my whole body convulsed.
Cecily sounded pleased. "Good, I'll see you then," she said as she hung up the phone just in time for three things to happen: the orgasm making my knees buckle, Cal's arms sweeping out to catch me and carry me to the bedroom with Gray right behind him, and the smoke alarm alerting us that Gray's forgotten soufflés were starting to burn.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Callum
Her big green eyes widened just a little more as she searched my face. "Do you have to go?" she asked me for the millionth time.
"Well, I mean, I don't," Gray piped up from the other side of the bed.
Harper laughed as I swore at Gray and pushed my head up on my elbow, tracing a finger down her back. "Yeah, I don't like that idea," I said, keeping my voice low and even. "You're mine."
"Ours," Gray corrected, glaring at me.
"So what does that mean...exactly?" Harper asked, rolling onto her back and looking up at the ceiling. "Does that mean you’re both mine?"
I looked at Gray and nodded slightly. "Yeah," he said, and there was something changed about his voice. I recognized it because that's how my voice would sound right now if I had the ability to speak. "We're yours."
"My what?" she said, pushing herself up on her elbows and smiling playfully. "My boyfriends? With an s? As in plural?"
"Okay Miss Children's Book Author, we get it. You don't need to explain plurals to us," I grumbled. This was so fucking strange, but what was even fucking stranger was how okay it was. Here I was lying in bed naked with the girl of my dreams, having an amiable discussion about how she didn't totally belong to me. That should have pissed me right the fuck off, but instead, "Yeah," I repeated. "We're your boyfriends."
"And you're our girlfriend," Gray interjected.
Damn I loved her smile, and this was one of the biggest smiles I'd ever seen from her. "Okay then," she whispered, kissing each of us in turn. "I'm okay with that." She licked her lips. "More than okay with that."
"Yeah you've seemed pretty enthusiastic about the arrangement thus far," I teased her, sliding my hand between her legs.
She swatted me away with a giggle. "But wait," she said, sliding her legs up and hugging her knees to her chest. "You're okay with this being a long distance thing though, right?" Her eyes flashed. "Because my work...my life...it's all here. I can't just..."
"We can come to you," Gray interrupted, looking at me meaningfully.
I nodded slowly. "Yeah," I said while in my mind I tallied up all the tours I'd have to reschedule. I made most of my money on weekends, when people were off from work and on vacation, but if it came to making a choice between that and Harper...?
Fuck, I'd pick Harper every time.
I lifted her hand and kissed it, nodding. She leaned down and peered at my face. "You sure?" she asked.
"What?"
"Cal..." she chided me. "I know you too well to not catch on to something bothering you."
"Just some scheduling things," I told her breezily, kissing her fingers again. "I'll figure it out."
She smiled softly. "Well it's not like I can't come to you some times," she said.
"You don't have a car," I pointed out.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "That's what rental cars are for."
"I don't like the idea of you driving all across the state like that," I told her.
"Seriously dude?" she said, sliding off the bed and pulling on her t-shirt. "I've flown all over the country giving talks and doing readings. I can handle driving myself."
"I'd still rather you fly," Gray added and I mentally thanked him for backing me up. "We can come get you at the airport."
"The airport is so far away that I may as well drive," Harper said with an exasperated sigh. She turned and padded her bare feet into the tiny kitchenette and I heard the sound of the tap running and the clinking of dishes.
I turned and locked eyes with Gray for a moment before we both followed her into the tiny living room. "Look we're not trying to be pigs," I said to Harper.
"Just trying to look out for our girlfriend," Gray finished, picking up the dish from her hand and drying it without comment.
She looked at him, and then at me and I knew they were both looking to me — the lifelong control freak — to make the final call. "Every weekend," I finally said, clenching my fist and then letting go of all the money I wasn't going to make. "We come to you three times a month, you can come to us once a month."
Grayson nodded in triumph. "I agree. And that means the vote is two-to-one. Majority rules."
Harper acted shocked and swatted him with her dishtowel. "You guys are a pain in my ass."
"Speaking of your ass..." I said, smiling meaningfully.
She turned and gave me a grin that had my dick hard in an instant. "Weren't you just saying you had to go?" she teased.
I sighed and looked at my phone. "Yeah," I said heavily, looking at Gray. He looked stricken and for a moment I thought he'd yell at me, tell me he was staying here with her, without me. Fuck, I might have done the same thing except...she wasn't my girlfriend.
She was our girlfriend.
And somehow the thought of being with her without him just didn't seem right.
He must have thought the same thing, because he sighed heavily. "You have that thing in the morning, don't you?"
"I can't refund another tour," I tried to explain to Harper. "I just can't."
"I know," she said, standing up on tiptoes to kiss me. For a second her eyes glimmered and I willed her not to cry because then I'd fall the fuck apart. Gray looked like he was ready to start bawling enough for the both of us. "Next weekend?"
"We'll be here," I said firmly.
"We'll both be here," Gray agreed.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Grayson
The whoosh of water in the pipes was my usual morning wakeup call, but this morning I was up even earlier than usual.
Just because I had to check my phone. For like the fiftieth time this week.
It was Thursday the 13th of February and we'd see Harper in two more days. I had run to the IGA and grabbed her a silly box of chocolates and a stuffed pink bear already, but Cal was probably going to send me back to get her a card. I wonder if Hallmark even made a card for our specific...thing. "Dear Girlfriend, Happy Valentine's Day! Love, Your Two Boyfriends."
The whooshing pipes stopped with a squeak and a slightly worrisome crunching noise, which meant that Cal was out of the shower and on his way to the tour he'd booked last minute for today. I felt a twinge of guilt tighten my throat. He'd been working overtime to make up for the weekends we'd miss with Harper, and I could tell the stress was getting to him. I resolved to spend all of today applying for as many jobs as I could find. It would suck, but nothing could suck too badly when I knew I'd see Harper again in two more days.
I rolled over and looked at my phone, just to see the calendar again and reassure myself, when my phone gave a sudden buzz that startled me so badly I almost fell on the floor.
I looked at the screen and my heart splashed down into my stomach. I took a deep breath and then answered. "Hey man."
"Well at least you're alive," Rett said, by way of greeting. "Where the fuck have you guys been? Is it my deodorant?"
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. "Yeah, sorry," I said, sm
oothing my hand down over my face. "I guess I kind of suck."
"Admitting it is the first step towards recovery," Rett intoned pompously. "Glad you realize it. What's been going on?"
Oh nothing, just busy double-teaming your sister. I bit my tongue as guilt twisted around my stomach. How the fuck could we even start to explain what was happening here? "Not much," I lied. "Same old same old. What's going on with you?"
"Work," Rett sighed. He did something complicated for the county hospital system with their internal operating system, where he was like half-a-doctor, half-a-hacker. Something I was way too dumb to understand. "We're upgrading the equipment in the OR which is good because that shit's like from the last century..."
He spiraled down into one of those things we used to call McCabe-moments, where he'd start trying to explain — in minute detail — things no one but him had any interest in. Which was fucking fine because even just sitting here listening to him had me squirming like when I was a little kid and Great Aunt Hilda would drag me to confession. Even though Rett was talking about upgrading servers and shit, I swore I could hear an undercurrent in his voice. Did you really think you could hide what you're up to?
"So you'll be there?"
"Huh?" I shook my head. Rett actually had been asking me a question... apparently. "What was that?"
"Why are you being such a space cadet, Gray?" Rett sighed. "I'm talking about a job here."
I sat up straighter. "Sorry man," I said, trying like hell to get my heart rate back down to normal. "I just woke up. Haven't had my coffee yet."
Rett chuckled. "You'd better not be getting used to these late mornings. Cole's gonna need you there at like seven in the morning."
"He is?" I tried to mentally backtrack. What the hell was he talking about? Job? Cole? "Hey man," I said, feeling about two inches tall. "I totally missed what you said about the job. Sorry. Can you say it again?"
I swear I could hear Rett's eyes rolling through the phone. " Cole Granger," he said condescendingly. "You know the guy."
"Yeah, yeah, I know him."
"You know about how he bought Melton's land to make the town park?"
I bristled a little. It wasn't exactly Cole's fault that I'd lost my job, since Mr. Melton was gonna sell to somebody anyway, but there was still that prickle of resentment at the name. "Yeah, I know all about that," I said sarcastically.
"Well the permits finally went through this week. I ran into him at the gym yesterday, and he was saying he's having trouble putting together a crew to tear down that big-ass metal shed."
That big-ass metal shed was where I'd worked since I was sixteen. "You make it sound like that thing's an eyesore. The Marina is part of the town's history," I bristled. "And mine."
Rett's voice softened a little. "Hey, man, I know it's hard for you."
"Fuck off."
"You get attached to things. You're fucking loyal as hell, that's why you're a good friend."
I felt that guilt twist in my belly again. "Sure," I muttered.
"But you can't stay stuck in the past. Life moves on man. Melton sold. You lost your job. I thought it would be kind of poetic in a way for you to start a new job by tearing down the old."
"Me? Tear it down?" I repeated.
"I told Cole you had experience in demolition," Rett chuckled. "I didn't mention that said demolition was usually accidental."
"Fuck off." I grinned.
"But he said cool, he'd take you on."
I jumped to my feet. "No shit, really?"
"Yeah really." I could hear Rett grinning proudly. "It's going to be seven days a week too, because they're behind schedule, so you can make some bank with overtime."
I sat back down on the bed. "Overtime."
"Weekends and holidays, baby."
"I..." I caught myself, just in time, before the words fell out of my mouth. So they had nowhere to go except stay there, banging around in my brain. I can't work weekends. That's the only time I can be with Harper. "Cool man," I recovered, lamely.
"So you'll call him?"
"What? Oh yeah, of course."
"That's good. You'll make bank and you can finally get your own place. I bet you're dying to stop sharing everything with Cal."
I made a noise that was a cross between a yelp and a retch. "Yeah," I squeaked into the phone, sounding exactly like a middle schooler whose balls just dropped. "Okay thanks!" Then I hung up the phone before I told him exactly what — no, who — I was sharing with Cal.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Harper
Sundays were the worst part of my week.
"I look forward to this all week," I sighed. "And then it feels like it's all over in a second."
"Hey," Gray protested as he trailed his fingers up my thigh. "It lasts a hell of a lot longer than a second."
I laughed and twisted to the side to run my fingers through his short brown curls. "Yes it does," I reassured him, kissing the tip of his nose. "I'm talking about how you always have to leave again so soon."
"We'll be here again next weekend," Cal added. He lifted his leg from where it had been slung over mine and sat up. "Only five more days."
I reached out and twined my fingers in his, loving the way his smile crinkled in the corners of his bright blue eyes. But try as I might, I couldn't smile back. "How long can we keep this up?" I sighed.
"I'm good with forever," Gray said softly.
"Oh!" I said, shocked, and suddenly burst into tears.
"Hey, hey, hey," they both chanted in a panic. Gray started rubbing my arm so fast it was like he was trying to start a fire while Cal leaped from the bed and dashed to get me a drink of water.
I coughed into the back of my hand and wiped my eyes. "Holy shit," I gasped, taking a deep breath. "Where the fuck did that come from?"
"Why don't you tell me?" Cal said softly, handing me the water.
I thanked him with a wan grin and lifted it to my lips, trying like hell to answer his question. But there was no answer. Other than, I'd been a wreck all week. Tearing up in meetings, laughing like a lunatic at things that weren't funny. "My emotions are all over the place," I sighed as I set the glass down on the bedside table. "I think...I think this is taking a bigger toll on me than I'd like to admit." I looked into their uncomprehending eyes. "The separation," I clarified.
Cal — my problem solver — visibly winced, and I reached out and grabbed his hand, my heart aching for having hurt him, however inadvertently. "Hey," I reassured him. "You can't fix it. At least, not right now. There's nothing to be done, right? At least you'll be down next weekend, right?" I smiled brightly. "It'll be here before you know it."
He winced again. "What?" This time it was Gray who was worrying.
"Rett," Cal sighed, and I felt Gray tense a little.
"What's wrong with my brother?"
"He's... a little pissed at us," Gray explained.
"Because we keep ducking him," said Cal. "To come here."
I let out a deep breath. "Shit," I muttered.
"It's been forever since the three of us hung out," Cal went on. "And you know, we used to spend a lot of time together."
"Every waking moment," I nodded.
"Luckily he's got this huge project at work," Gray added, drumming his fingers on my comforter. "So he's not really too upset...yet. But when the project is over..."
"And it's over this Friday," Cal finished. "He's gonna want to celebrate."
Gray nodded, biting his lip, and suddenly grabbed my hand.
I took another deep breath. "Okay!" I said brightly, clasping both their hands more tightly. "Then it's settled. Next weekend, I come to you guys."
Cal wrinkled his nose. "Stop it," I chided him. "We talked about this. We switch off, three weekends to one. We'll just move my weekend up, right?" My voice was rising a little higher, nearing hysteria as I tried like hell to make all the pieces fit together in my head. "I'll come home, and we can see my brother, and it'll all look completely normal, right?" I loo
ked back and forth between their distressed faces. "Right?"
Gray lifted my fingers and brushed a kiss across my knuckles. "Harp," he said gently. "None of this really counts as normal anymore."
I looked between his soft brown eyes and Cal's sharp blue ones and for some reason the tears started welling again. "But that's okay, right?" I said, and there was no disguising the note of pleading in my voice. "Because who cares what's normal when it's good, right?"
Cal and Gray were both silent a while. "Sure baby," Cal finally said. "That's exactly right."
I lifted my chin and tried to keep from slumping over as they both got ready to leave. I kept my goodbyes bright and cheerful and positive, even though I desperately wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry for a solid year.
"Okay," I breathed to myself once I was alone in my apartment again. "Okay."
The place seemed so empty, and echoingly huge without them there to take up the space. I wiped away the tears that refused to stop leaking from my eyes and I went to my messy work desk.
I've always been a pen and paper girl. Friend after assistant after mentor had tried to wean me off my notepads and calendars, but I'm a stationery freak, through and through. So instead of apps and cloud drives, I have scrawled appointments on wall calendars, and a paper day planner studded with so many scraps of paper sticking out of it that it resembled an octopus.
It was that day planner that I opened — carefully — right now, and flipped to the next weekend. "Okay," I repeated as I ran my finger down the line of deadlines and appointments. "That's not that much." I'd just need to reschedule one early morning meeting I had Saturday morning, because I'd want to be on the road by nine, but other than that, I could do it. I could go see them, go back to Reckless Falls.
I leaned back on my heels and grinned for a moment just thinking about it. Showing up at Cal's house, the three of us playing house in our hometown. Gray could make soufflé in an actual soufflé pan and maybe Cal would take me out snowshoeing. I'd never tried it before. And then, when I was all cold and sodden at the end of the day, they'd take me back home and we'd figure out ways to get warm...
