by Chloe Cox
She breathed heavily, still in shock. “I believe you.”
“Then what do you say?” he asked sharply.
“Thank you,” she said without hesitation.
Soren chuckled, and teased a disinterested trail over her now quivering ass with his fingers. The lightness of his touch, in contrast to how his heavy palm had felt striking her sensitive flesh, drove her insane. She practically arched toward him.
“New memory,” he said again. “Tell me your fantasies.”
Cate blinked. She had literally no idea if she could do that. Not just because it was frightening; she was almost past feeling fear about it. Her mind blanked. It had been so long since she’d felt good enough about herself or her life to get into a fantasy, to really let herself go, to really…
“Cate,” Soren said. “Tell me the last thing you masturbated to. Now.”
Oh shit.
She froze. She hadn’t realized she was moving, ever so slightly, shifting and contracting, anticipating his touch, until she froze. Because she definitely knew what she’d been thinking about the last time she masturbated, and it wasn’t blank. It was the last thing she’d thought she’d be able to say.
“Now,” he said again, and slid a curled finger inside her.
“Oh God,” she moaned.
“Cate,” he warned. “Now, or I will bring you close and then never let you come, again and again, until you lose your damn mind.”
“Oh Jesus, Soren,” she said as he slowly finger-fucked her. It was just a taste, just a preview, like he’d said, and it was driving her crazy. The thought of never being allowed to come struck actual, real fear into her heart, which almost made her want to laugh.
Almost.
“Oh fuck, Soren, it was you,” she said, hanging her head slightly while he toyed with the slick, soft flesh around her entrance. “You, and those rings on the bar, and what you said…”
She thought she heard a rumble behind her.
His fingers stopped.
And then he pushed two inside her, hard, his huge hand easily resting on her ass as he did so. She grunted, unable to avoid making a sound at the intrusion, and couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like when he shoved his cock inside her. She’d seen it, sort of. She was almost afraid.
“Get up,” he ordered. His voice was hoarse. “I’m keeping my fingers inside you because I feel like it.”
Accommodating that was trickier than it sounded. He chuckled.
“Hobble on over to that table,” he said.
Cate squirmed a little, just to feel him inside her, and he squeezed. Jesus. That table looked so far away. But she’d said it, she’d told him, and it hadn’t ended in disaster. He hadn’t said anything yet, either, but that wasn’t so bad. That was already so much better than she’d expected.
Just before she reached the table, Soren let her go and spun her around, one hand on her shoulder, the other grabbing for her hand. He pulled on her, making her bend, and put her hand on—oh holy hell, put it right on his rock-hard dick, bulging out from his jeans like it had a job to do.
“Feel how hard that made me?” he rasped. “Believe me when I say that you’re going to get your wish. And don’t you ever feel bad about that, Cate, because I’m going to love watching your face when you do.”
And then he pushed her backwards, onto the table.
Cate sat on the edge, temporarily speechless. It was as though he’d said the one thing she might have dreamed he’d say, the thing she’d wish for him to say, if she still let herself do things like that anymore. She almost didn’t believe it was real.
Almost.
“Lie down, ass over the edge, legs spread,” he said roughly. “Do it now.”
He looked about as desperate to fuck her as she was to be fucked—in theory. A small shiver shuddered through her at the idea, at the thought that she was very likely about to get fucked just as he wanted it, but it wasn’t…it wasn’t quite right. She wasn’t feeling as elated as she thought she’d feel, as needy, as mindless.
No, that was just nerves. She was nervous. And holy God, she was horny.
She hurried to do as he said.
“Ankles by your thighs, on the edge,” he said. “Arms out a little bit, like that.”
And then she felt the cuffs.
First her ankles, then her wrists. Cuffed into place. Immobile. Bound. Spread and bound and helpless, and, oh God, she was already feeling it build inside her, felt so much that she had to arch her back slightly to do something to let it out, even a little bit.
The residual fear that he was about to fuck her began to dissipate, because, well, she was helpless. Except for her safeword, which she knew her body wouldn’t let her use, not in a million years. She knew fear wasn’t the ideal emotion, but it was leaving, it was fading, and it was just a reflex.
Goddammit, why wasn’t he touching her?
She raised her head and looked down, to where he stood between her legs, perfectly positioned. Huge and golden and hard, and oh fuck, she was losing her mind.
“I’m not going to fuck you yet,” Soren said. “Believe me, you’re gonna need plenty of warning for that, Cate.”
Her lower stomach contracted in time to her frenzied breathing. Somehow the announcement that he wasn’t about to fuck her was even more maddening, and the promise that she’d need warning for that was…was something she believed utterly.
And he had her tied down. Spread.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said. “I just got a new plaything, sweetheart, and I want to see how it works.”
And then he reached forward and dragged one giant hand down the length of her body, from her chest to her belly to her pussy, leaving a shuddering wreck in his wake.
“Oh God,” she gasped.
“That’s about right,” he said.
And then he pulled a chair up.
Cate couldn’t see most of what he did. Couldn’t tell what he was doing to her most of the time. She felt his mouth on her, his tongue inside her, his rough bristles scraping against her folds, his fingers inside her pressing up on that one spot that drove her wild. His lips around her clit, sucking and licking at the same time, with more fingers inside her. Her nipples on fire as he clamped them, her inner muscles spasming as he pressed down on her stomach, her eyes flying open as he pressed against her virgin anus and she liked it.
She’d owned this body for thirty years, and she’d had no idea what it could do until Soren Andersson showed her.
And she didn’t know how long it took her to start begging, but it was right before she started screaming. Cate lost track of the number of times she came, lost track of the types of orgasms, some of them brand new, some of them shattering, some of them light, wispy floating things that settled in a thin layer of bliss over her whole body. It was only when her legs began to cramp that Soren uncuffed her, and it wasn’t because she asked him to—she didn’t even know her muscles were that tight until he started to massage them.
She didn’t think she could speak, so she didn’t try. She just tried to breathe.
And she didn’t realize how little she expected from him until he showed her what he would do—she was shaking in her own little world, eyes closed, mind scattered, thinking it would just be like this, she’d come back to the surface by herself, when Soren picked her up and carried her over to his chair. He sat down with Cate in his arms, still unable to talk, murmuring nonsense, and held her.
He kissed her forehead.
He stroked her hair.
He held her.
And he was there, watching her, taking care of her, as she came back down to earth.
It was more than anyone else had ever done for her. Anyone else she’d ever had in her life, and not just sexually, not just… It was more cared for than she’d ever felt before. This man who barely knew her paid more attention to her, took more care with her, than anyone else she’d ever met, loved, hated.
How can that be?
And that was
when Cate Kennedy started to cry.
Soren didn’t freak out. Of course Soren didn’t freak out; he only held her tighter, stroked her back, kept her safe. And when she’d cried herself out into his chest, he said this:
“You deserved nothing less.”
Like he knew.
Again, like he knew.
Cate looked up into those insane blue eyes, and asked, “Did anyone ever do anything like that for you?”
And Soren Andersson blinked.
Soren freaking Andersson blinked.
“Is that part of the debriefing?” he said, smiling.
“Hell if I know,” Cate said. “Maybe. My brain isn’t… Yeah, sure, why not.”
Soren laughed out loud, his arms tightening around her once again. She could get used to that.
“You might need some more recovery time before you can handle a debriefing,” he said.
“Hey, I’ll show you a debriefing, mister,” she said, struggling to shift.
Soren held her in place.
“It’s more likely to be the other way around,” he said.
It took a second, but Cate’s orgasm-addled brain finally picked it up. Heh. Debrief. And then she remembered that giant, promising erection, and how he said he wouldn’t fuck her. And she wanted to debrief him, very literally, and very, very much.
Why wouldn’t he fuck her?
Maybe it was insecurity. Maybe it was the rush of courage she felt after finally doing something she’d always been afraid to do—submit. Maybe it was just impulse.
But that was when Cate reached down and felt for Soren.
Eight
Soren groaned. Cate’s hand on his cock, even through his jeans, was almost enough to short circuit his brain and override his will power. He had never wanted anyone the way he wanted this woman, and she was naked, in his lap, and grabbing at his goddamn cock. He had just watched her writhe and moan and scream while he’d made her come over and over again, and the whole time he’d known he wouldn’t be able to bury himself inside of her, not today, because the fear he’d seen course through her at the thought had told him she wasn’t ready.
And now her goddamn hand was on his cock.
“Cate,” he growled, and dug his hands into her soft, pliant flesh. That did not help. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and held her motionless instead. “You’re not ready.”
He saw the anger flash on her face, and wanted to smile. Her reaction to insecurity because he wouldn’t sleep with her was to fight. He liked that.
“I’m an adult,” she said.
“Yeah, I’m aware,” he said.
“I mean I am fully capable of making my own decisions,” she said hotly. “If you don’t want me, man up and say it, but don’t hide behind some sort of—”
“First of all, bullshit that you’re always capable of making your own decisions. No one is, at least not the right ones. We all do stupid shit because we all have issues and scars and whatever else you want to call it,” Soren said.
Fuck it. He wasn’t done. He lifted her up and set her back down so she was straddling his lap, which was even harder on him and his poor tortured dick, but which also meant she couldn’t hide her face from him quite as easily.
“And you’re trying to put distance between us now because you’re feeling freaked out at what I just did to you and how it made you feel by coming up with this completely fucking crazy idea that I don’t want you,” he said, letting his voice rise. He was tense. He couldn’t help it.
Cate’s hands dug into his shoulders. The heat from her naked body was palpable.
Soren took a deep breath.
“Goddamn you, woman, don’t you have any idea how hard it is for me not to throw you down and fuck you until you forget your own goddamn name? Do you have any idea how much self-control this requires? I am fucking Superman right now.”
Cate squeezed her thighs around him, and Soren almost lost it. She fought dirty.
“Don’t you tell me I’m not ready,” she said.
“You were afraid,” he said. He held her hands by her waist and looked her in the eye. “Deny it.”
She frowned, adorable little lines appearing between her brows, her hazel eyes almost glowing while that dark red hair fell forward over her face. Jesus. If he didn’t have the discipline of a Dom, he wouldn’t have a chance.
“I can’t,” she said finally. “Yes, I was, but I don’t…”
And then she wilted.
She stopped fighting, let herself fall into him. Soren let go of her hands and she brought them up around his neck, her hair brushing against his face.
“I don’t know why,” she said. “It’s not you, I don’t what it is, I—”
“It’s ok,” Soren said.
“It’s not.”
“It is. It will be.”
Soren let his hands slide softly over her naked back, feeling his way in this new territory. This had become very intense, very quickly. This was new for him. And it was exactly what he had signed up for, wasn’t it? This was what he’d seen in her all along.
He hadn’t felt his heart hammer in his chest like this since he was a kid.
“But I want you,” she said softly.
Oh damn.
Soren took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He’d denied himself before, hadn’t he? He’d managed it.
Not like this.
Didn’t matter. He had to. She had to trust him, trust that he’d do what was best for her, that he’d take care of her, no matter what he wanted.
He dragged his fingers down her back and watched her arch into it, her beautiful nipples rising in the air, everything inside him telling him to lay her down and take her.
“When you’re ready, it’s going to be more than you can handle,” he said.
“Tease,” she sighed.
“Careful,” he said. “I could entertain myself for hours seeing just how red I can get that ass.”
Cate smiled at him and bit her lip.
“If I told you I wouldn’t like that,” she said, “would that be a violation of the One Rule?”
He had created a monster.
“Try me and find out.”
Cate’s smile faded just a bit, only for a moment. But enough. Soren could practically see the gears whirring in that brain of hers, and he knew enough about women—and this woman in particular, though he knew it didn’t make sense—to know not to push her. Not while she was naked in his lap and trying to figure out how to say one thing without giving another thing away, the way women sometimes did.
“What happens if someone breaks the rule?” she finally said.
“I’m not one of those people who can’t see shades of gray, sweetheart,” he said. “I know people sometimes don’t have everything figured out. That’s different from deliberately lying. That’s the thing I have a problem with.”
“And what happens?”
Soren looked at her very seriously. “Then I’m done.”
Cate didn’t flinch. She didn’t even blink.
Then again, she was a lawyer.
“What about lies of omission?” she said, shifting her hips in a way that made his dick scream for more attention.
Yeah, definitely a lawyer.
“Same criteria applies,” he said, the tension registering in his voice again. He was going to have to come soon or he’d lose it.
This time Cate leaned forward, her forearms resting on his shoulders, her naked breasts so close to his mouth he could practically taste them. Hell, he would. His prerogative.
Unless she dropped a bombshell on him.
“What happens if you lie?” she asked. “Even by omission?”
Soren stopped and tore his eyes away from those luscious breasts to look into Cate’s shining, knowing, too-smart-for-their-own-good eyes.
“No one’s asked me that before,” he said.
“Because you do it all the time?” she said. She was smiling, but it wasn’t a happy question. Not angry, either, not accusatory. So
ft, somehow. Gentle.
Soren realized he had to work to regulate his breathing. Who was this woman?
“Maybe because they knew there was nothing to tell,” he said.
“I call so much bullshit on that,” she laughed.
Soren shook his head. How could he get this across? How could he…fuck it.
“The past is dead,” he said. “If it’s really in the past, it’s dead.”
She couldn’t know how literally he meant that, but he needed her to know it was true. He didn’t carry the past with him. It had changed him, and he’d dealt with that, but he worked hard not to carry it around, not to make other people pay for his past mistakes.
And it had worked up until now.
Dread blossomed somewhere inside him, dark, rotting dread, and damn it, he couldn’t ignore it now that she’d asked the question, that she’d made him think, that this amazing, beautiful woman was sitting naked in his lap and letting him see more of her than she’d ever shown to anyone else—what if he was carrying it around?
He’d needed Cate as soon as he’d met her. He’d needed to help her, to have her. It hadn’t made sense.
What if he was just trying to redeem himself for what had happened with Julia? Now that all that shit was getting brought up again, with his sister and the lawsuit.
“Soren?” she said.
“That thing, where you don’t have everything figured out yet,” he said, his voice thick, rough. “I’m doing it. The past is past, but…”
“It’s ok,” she said, and touched her fingers to his cheek.
“No,” he said. “It’s not. I’m in charge here, I’m running this show. I need you to know that I’m not going to do anything to hurt you, even unintentionally.”
“‘The past is dead’ is a pretty big loophole,” Cate said. “And I get it, actually. Completely.”
Soren studied her. She looked tense now, when only a few minutes ago she’d been blissed out and relaxed. Tense and distant, and eager to have this be ok.
She said, “I know you won’t do anything to hurt me, I do.”
“No, you don’t,” he whispered. “Not yet. If you did, I could lay you down and bury myself inside you. But you will.”
Cate closed her eyes and brought her hands to his face, her wetness soaking through the crotch of his jeans.
