by Val Wood
Ted glanced at him and nodded, moving ahead of his father. ‘Shall I tell her?’ was his parting shot.
‘No.’ He didn’t know how Lily would react. Would she be pleased to see him after all this time, or would she reject him for being tardy at corresponding? But what is a soldier supposed to do? he thought. How was I supposed to know whether my letters ever reached home?
He followed slowly and saw Daisy crossing the narrow road towards the church tower, and Ted close behind her. Then he saw a tall woman, dressed in a grey gown and bonnet, waving to them. ‘Lily,’ he breathed. ‘Is it really you?’
* * *
Lily walked slowly towards the meeting place by the church. It wasn’t far from Leadenhall Square and it seemed wrong that such a dissolute area should be so near to an ancient house of worship. The church tower jutted out into the north end of Lowgate and pedestrians risked their lives as they stepped out into the hubbub of hansom cabs, horses and carts and riders to get past the tower. A flock of sheep being driven towards a slaughter house was causing congestion and confusion as they skittered, bleating, about the road.
Lily spotted her daughter dashing along the footpath. Why is she running so fast? She’s not late. And then behind her someone else was running and for a moment she caught her breath as she thought that Daisy was being chased. Then her face creased into a smile. Ted! It was Ted. She lifted the hem of her skirt and scurried towards them, glancing both ways before hurrying across the road between the traffic.
‘Daisy!’ she called. ‘I’m here! Look behind you! It’s Ted! Ted! Is it really him?’ He had grown taller though he looked thinner. Wherever has he been?
She scooped Daisy up into her arms for a quick hug, and then let go of her as she reached out for her son.
‘I’ve been that bothered about you!’ she exclaimed. ‘Daisy said you were going to find a ship and go to sea! Is that what you did?’
‘Not exactly, Ma. Ma—’ He seemed flustered.
‘Ma!’ Daisy said plaintively and Lily pulled them both back to the safety of St Mary’s wall, putting an arm round each of them. ‘Ma, Ted said—’ Daisy began again.
‘Wait,’ Ted implored. ‘Don’t say owt yet.’
‘About what?’ Lily smiled. They must have had a disagreement over something, but she didn’t care; she could forgive them anything now that she had them both safely back again. Whatever problems she had she could deal with, now that she knew her bairns were safe.
A man was standing behind the children, hindering the progress of passers-by, and she glanced at him, wondering why he didn’t move on. Daisy was pulling on her arm and Ted was shuffling from one foot to the other in the way he always did when he had something to tell her.
Her lips parted and she took a sudden breath as she looked again at the man in front of her. ‘Hello, Lily.’ His voice was soft but oh so familiar. ‘Don’t be alarmed. It’s me!’
Lily fell back against the church wall, feeling it solid beneath her fingers as she clutched at it for support. ‘Johnny! But – they said you were dead,’ she whispered. ‘They said you’d been killed! I wrote …’
She saw the upturn of his mouth, though it wasn’t a smile, rather a wry grimace. ‘As you see, I’m alive,’ he said in a low voice. ‘A bit worse for wear but still upright and breathing.’
A range of emotions threatened to knock her out and she felt that she would fall but for the wall behind her. As it was, her legs were weak and she fought to keep standing. Tears rushed to her eyes. He was alive. He looked the same, though older and without the boyish demeanour he had once had.
‘I’m dreaming,’ she muttered. ‘It’s not true!’
‘It’s true, Lily. It’s me; feel.’ He put out his hand. ‘Flesh and blood.’
A sudden gush of angry passion swept over her. ‘Why didn’t you write? Why did you put me through such hell? Such sorrow!’ She hurled herself at him, hammering him with her fists. ‘You don’t know what I’ve had to do; what I’ve been through; how I’ve had to live!’
He caught her by the wrists, though gently. ‘I did write. Lots of times. Regiment thought I was dead. I was captured. I’ve walked across India to get home. Lily! Whatever’s happened we can put right together. Say that we can.’
Through her tears she saw the uncertainty on his face and tears glistening in his eyes too, which she had never seen before. ‘You don’t understand,’ she croaked. ‘I married someone else because I thought you were dead!’
‘I know,’ he said softly. ‘But I still love you, Lily. You were my wife and as far as I’m concerned you still are.’
She started to weep, and as Daisy and Ted looked on with a mixture of concern and bewilderment Johnny gathered Lily up into his arms and, oblivious of the people passing by, kissed her wet cheeks until at last, sobbing, she put her head on his chest and felt that he was real and had come home to her.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Johnny led them back to Scale Lane, away from the traffic and pedestrians, for they were causing an obstruction. Daisy and Ted gazed anxiously from one to the other.
‘Ma.’ Daisy’s voice quavered. ‘I’ve onny got half an hour and I’ve to get back. Mr Walker said you wanted to see me.’ She didn’t look at Johnny but kept her eyes averted.
Lily took out a handkerchief and blew her nose. ‘Yes.’ She swallowed. ‘We have to decide what to do. You can’t stay wi’ ’Walkers. But now,’ she glanced at Johnny, ‘now things have changed. Am I a bigamist? But Billy Fowler’s drowned, so am I a widow?’
Ted stared at her. ‘No, Ma,’ he croaked. ‘He’s not. He climbed up ’cliff. He’s still alive.’
‘So I’m a bigamist,’ Lily whispered. ‘Will I go to prison?’
Daisy started to cry, but Johnny broke in, ‘It’s all right, Daisy. We’ll sort it out. It wasn’t your ma’s fault.’
‘It’s your fault,’ Daisy shrieked at this man who was claiming to be her father when she didn’t remember him at all. ‘You shouldn’t have gone away and left us!’
‘I know,’ he said gently. ‘But you don’t understand how it was. I thought I was doing it for ’best. But I was wrong.’
‘Hush now and listen!’ Lily wiped her eyes and took a breath. ‘Daisy, go back to Mr Walker’s. Ted, you walk her back. Yes,’ she said firmly when Daisy scoffed that she didn’t need anybody with her. ‘Go with her and explain to Mr Walker what’s happened and ask if Daisy can come out tomorrow at ’same time; and mebbe then we’ll have decided what to do.’
‘Meet me here again in an hour, Ted,’ Johnny urged; he didn’t want his son to disappear. ‘We’ll find somewhere to stay. Unless …?’ He glanced at Lily, who vigorously shook her head.
As the youngsters walked away, Lily said bitterly, ‘It’s you who doesn’t understand! You can’t possibly know what I’ve been through these last six months.’
‘I know some of it,’ Johnny said. ‘Ted told me that Fowler brought you to Hull and sold you. I’ve been to Holderness,’ he explained. ‘That’s where I found Ted; he’d walked from Hull to an owd farmer’s at Seathorne. And I was told you’d all drowned, so I do know what it’s like to be told that somebody you love has died!’
‘Drowned! Who said that?’ she gasped.
‘Fowler,’ he said. ‘Your husband! How did you come to marry a man like him?’ Suddenly he too was angry. ‘Surely you must have guessed that he was a villain?’
‘How?’ she shrieked. ‘How could I tell? I was lonely and poor. You don’t know how hard it is to bring up two young bairns! All those years on my own, waiting for you to come home! There was many a time when I thought we’d end up in ’workhouse.’ She put her hand to her head. ‘It seemed a way out. Fowler told me he lived in a smallholding near to ’sea. He said he could provide for us.’ Though he was reluctant about the children, she remembered. ‘But he didn’t say that it was a hovel right on ’edge.’ Her voice became quieter and she let Johnny take her hand. ‘He just wanted a woman,’ she muttered. ‘He didn’t
want a wife. He liked things to be left as they were. He was bad-tempered and a bully. He was forever on at Ted and generally ignored Daisy, until he realized that she was coming up to the age when he thought she should find a job of work. Then,’ she added, ‘he’d heard somewhere that he was within his rights to sell me. I was pregnant, so there’d be another mouth to feed.’
Johnny was quiet and just stood by her side. They were jostled from time to time by people trying to get past them down the narrow cobbled street.
‘You’d better come wi’ me,’ Lily said when he made no response, and pulled her hand away from his. ‘And I’ll show you how low I’ve sunk.’
She led him back down Lowgate, away from St Mary’s, and crossed the road towards Leadenhall Square. He glanced round. As a young soldier he’d marched along here. When they came to the square, he faltered as Lily turned in and on towards the houses.
‘Wait,’ he said. ‘Where’re you going?’ There were women sitting on the house steps. Some were talking to each other, some were lying asleep across the steps, others were smoking pipes. They looked on idly as Lily and Johnny walked by.
One of them shouted to Lily, ‘Bit early in ’day isn’t it, dearie?’ Another called out, ‘Send him ower here when you’ve finished wi’ him – I could do wi’ a bit extra.’ Yet another turned over and pulled up her skirts, shouting to Johnny to see what was on offer.
Lily glared defiantly at Johnny. ‘You’ll have seen this sort of thing afore, I expect? Soldiers, sailors; this is what they expect of women.’
Johnny felt sick to the stomach and wanted to weep. ‘Not me,’ he muttered. ‘Not where I’ve been.’
They were approaching a house at the bottom of the square. It looked tidier than the others, with clean curtains at the window and well brushed steps. The door opened and an old woman looked out and beckoned urgently. ‘Miss Lily,’ she called. ‘Come quick!’
‘Miss Lily?’ he breathed. ‘Is that what you’re called?’
She turned to face him. ‘Yes. It’s where I live – and work. It’s a brothel, onny ’fellow who runs it likes it to be called a bordello; he thinks it sounds more refined. You can come in if you like. Have a look round.’ Tears were streaming down her face. ‘This is what I’ve come to, Johnny. I’m a madam in a brothel. Are you sure you want to reclaim me as your wife?’ Her lips trembled. ‘I’ve got to go. I’m wanted. Somebody needs me more urgently than you do.’
She turned and hurried towards the house where the old woman, halfway down the steps, was frantically beckoning.
He watched her go. His legs wouldn’t move. He saw her run up the steps and through the door and the old woman, glancing his way, closed it behind them. Was there some man waiting for her? It was someone special who didn’t like to be kept waiting, judging by the antics of the old biddy who was hurrying her up.
Ted! He remembered that he’d asked Ted to meet him by the church. He turned round and walked back past the women, who looked blatantly and curiously at him.
‘It’s true then, is it?’ one of them called to him.
‘What?’ He should have walked on, but instead he paused in front of her. ‘Is what true?’
‘That that snooty bitch doesn’t go wi’ ’customers? She onny teks money for her girls?’ The woman, or girl, for she didn’t look very old, wiped her nose on her sleeve. She gave a laugh which showed her black misshapen teeth. ‘Some of ’em have left. I reckon she kept most of their money for hersen.’
‘It’s to be hoped Jamie don’t find out then,’ another one called out. ‘She’s likely to get beaten up if he does.’
Johnny hesitated, then said, ‘Can I talk to you? I need some answers.’
The woman grinned. ‘Aye, come on in.’
Lily stumbled through the door. ‘Is she weakening?’ She gazed with reddened eyes at Mrs Flitt. ‘Will you run for Dr Fulton again? Tell him it’s urgent.’
Mrs Flitt placed her wrinkled hand on Lily’s arm. ‘It don’t matter if he comes or not,’ she said. ‘There’s nowt he can do, and besides, it’s you she wants. You’ve got troubles, I can tell,’ she said softly, ‘but put ’em to one side for ’minute. They’ll keep for some other time.’
Lily nodded, wiped her wet cheeks, and vigorously blew her nose. Then she drew herself up, took a deep breath and opened the door into her room where Alice lay quietly sleeping.
She drew up a chair and sat beside the bed, taking Alice’s pale hand in her own. Alice opened her eyes. ‘There you are, Lily,’ she whispered. ‘I hoped you’d come.’
‘Of course I’ve come.’ Lily’s voice had a catch in it. ‘I was detained, and you’ll never believe why.’
Alice gave a wan smile. ‘Was it something nice? Has Lizzie had her bairn?’
‘Not yet,’ she said. ‘I’ll tell you ’minute I hear. Do you remember, Alice, when I told you about my husband Johnny?’
‘Yes.’ Alice’s breathing was laboured. ‘You loved him, didn’t you?’
Lily nodded. ‘Always. Since I was very young. Well, he’s come back.’ Her voice broke.
‘In a dream?’ Alice’s voice was merely a whisper and Lily bent her head towards her. ‘Sometimes I think my ma’s here. I can see her, clear as owt, but then she disappears again.’ She took a shuddering breath. ‘Then I know I’m dreaming.’
‘Not a dream.’ Tears started to trickle from Lily’s eyes again. ‘Johnny was real. Not killed as I thought, but alive.’
Alice had closed her eyes but she murmured, ‘I’m glad for you, Lily. You’ll be able to go home now.’ She half opened her eyelids. ‘I’ll go home soon, I think. But I’ll miss you, Lily. You’re ’best friend I ever had.’ She closed her eyes again and Lily thought she had dropped asleep until she murmured, ‘You’ll tell me when Lizzie has her bairn? Promise? It’s a new life starting over.’
‘I’ll tell you,’ Lily choked. ‘I promise I will. Rest now – save your strength.’
Alice gave a hint of a smile. ‘Yes,’ she breathed. ‘I’ll save it. Ma’ll want me to help her, I expect. She was never able to do for herself. That’s why I left. I was allus ’drudge.’
‘But not now, Alice.’ Lily stroked her hand. ‘Here you are in a comfy bed with all your friends here to do for you.’
Alice gave a gentle nod of her head. ‘Lucky. Very lucky.’
Lily stayed by her side as she slept. Mrs Flitt came in to bring her a cup of coffee. ‘How is she, do you think?’ she whispered.
‘I wish ’doctor’d come,’ Lily murmured. ‘I know he can’t do anything, but it’d be a comfort just to see him.’
‘He’ll come.’ Mrs Flitt patted her shoulder. ‘Try not to fret.’
‘Stay with me, Mrs Flitt,’ Lily said. ‘Keep vigil wi’ me. I can’t do it on my own.’
Mrs Flitt pulled up a footstool and perched like a gnome at the foot of the bed. ‘What’ll we do later?’ she asked in a low voice. ‘You know, when … when ’customers come.’
Lily stared at her with wide eyes and bit on her lip. ‘We’ll have to lock ’door. They can’t come in when … when—’
‘I’ll see to it,’ Mrs Flitt interrupted. ‘Don’t you worry. Mary and Sally are in already. Shall I explain to ’em – and then, well, if they want to go out …?’
‘Yes,’ Lily agreed. ‘They won’t want to miss any earnings. Tell Mary that Cherie will look after Aaron. Will you send Cherie in to me? Tell her I need to speak to her.’
Mrs Flitt rose painfully from the stool. ‘By, my owd bones ache, and yet I’m still here, of no use to anybody – and here’s this young lass!’ She gazed pityingly at Alice. ‘Don’t seem right somehow.’
‘You are of use,’ Lily admonished her. ‘To all of us; but no, it doesn’t seem fair that Alice – so young!’ She sighed. ‘There’s no point in asking why.’
Cherie came into the room. She was pale and trembling as she gazed down at Alice, so thin and wasted. ‘I’m frightened,’ she whispered.
Lily comforted her. ‘She’s resti
ng, Cherie. There’s no need to be afraid, and she’s in ’company of her friends. It’s not as if she’s out somewhere on her own and lonely.’
‘No,’ Cherie was unconvinced. ‘I wish I could go and see Lizzie,’ she said plaintively.
‘You can,’ Lily said patiently, ‘but not now. I want you to look after Aaron tonight, and then we’ll see what tomorrow brings.’
There were few customers that night, and Mrs Flitt in a neat bonnet and clean apron opened the door to them and explained that they were closed for business for a couple of nights and gave them directions for finding Mary and Sally who had gone out of the square and into the High Street.
‘They’ll treat you right,’ she said, giving a wink, and closed the door on them, muttering contentious suggestions on the different ways they might hang themselves. The doctor came and went but gave no advice except to say to Lily that they could only wait.
Mrs Flitt came quietly into the room and saw that Lily had dropped to sleep; she put a few pieces of coal on the fire and sat on the floor beside it. What’ll I do next? she pondered. Lily will move on, I’m sure of it. She’ll not stop here when her precious girls have gone. She too nodded in and out of sleep and woke with a start when the coals shifted in the fire. A wafting sigh came from the bed and she lifted her head. It was close on the midnight hour; a time, she believed, when souls departing peacefully from this earth gathered together for their last journey.
Groaning inwardly from the pain in her knees, she got to her feet and stood by Lily’s side. Lily was awake and holding Alice’s hand. ‘She slipped away so silently, I barely knew she’d gone,’ she said softly. ‘But she smiled. It was as if she’d seen someone she knew. I hope she had.’
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
At seven o’clock the next morning someone banged on the front door. Lily and Mrs Flitt were already up and dressed. Cherie was asleep with Aaron tucked up beside her. Mary and Sally had arrived back in the early hours of the morning and slipped quietly upstairs on hearing about Alice.
