“James, I’m naked here and I’m a little bit fucking scared.”
He slapped her bottom lightly. “Stop swearing.”
In her misery she managed to smile. “You started it.”
“And I apologise for my outbursts that only you seem able to extract from me,” He looked at her, his eyes searching her face. “And I am very aware that you are naked and I wish so very much that I could give you the full attention that your nakedness deserves.”
He frowned sadly. “But what I have to tell you is going to upset you and I need you right here where I can look after you.”
Mairead felt the cracks begin to appear in her heart, knowing that despite his gentle way of doing it, he was going to end it with her as she had expected. She was about to receive the full retribution for all the terrible choices she had ever made. It was without question a much higher price to pay than marrying Mark.
Before he spoke she needed to tell him, “I love you and I’m sorry for what I did and I hope you’ll be able to forgive me some day.”
“I love you too and there’s nothing to forgive.” James told her quietly. “You didn’t kill Joshua Mason. Richard Lewis threw him over the balcony.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
The hour passed silently with her lying in his arms. James sat rested against the headboard caressing her hair, kissing her head intermittently. The tears were gone and only angry regret remained.
Mark had lied to her and she had believed him without question. Everything she had gone through had been for nothing.
“I want to see the video for myself,” she demanded quietly.
James shook his head. “I’m not showing it to you.”
“I already saw it once.” She sat up to look at him. “It didn’t show anything with Richard in it.”
“Because I edited the version on Joshua’s android,” he explained. “I copied the original file to my laptop, but I couldn’t take a chance that you would see it and go ballistic. If you had confronted Richard, I have no doubt he would have killed you. Your ignorance kept you safe.”
“And Daddy knew all this?”
“Yes,” James kissed the top of her head and kept caressing her. “I told him everything and I had quite some trouble convincing him not to go in with guns blazing. The fact that you had gone off with Mark meant you had done something wrong. For all I knew, it could have been something that would land you in jail and by rescuing you could have proved worse than the situation you were in.”
“How did you know it was Richard Lewis?”
“I read the papers and I’ve had many conversations with your father about him and the West Auckland development. We knew immediately the motive for your engagement.”
“Kylie knew about everything too, didn’t she?”
James sighed loud and long. “She’s been a great support to me. She calmed me down that day you disappeared and reminded me to think logically. She never doubted your love for me for one second, unlike me. We went through your luggage trying to find something to give us a clue to what was happening. That’s when I found Josh’s phone, the same one as yours. When I saw what was on it, I knew enough to know you were in serious trouble and things began to add up when your engagement was announced on the news.”
Mairead wept quietly, “I saw you that night at Kylie’s place. It was awful”
James nodded. “It wasn’t easy for me either babe. I wanted to drag you away and I wanted to punch that prick in the face, but you were pretty useless at hiding how you felt about me. Mark obviously picked up on that.”
The memory made her feel sick. “He wasn’t happy. They burnt your house down the next day. I was so scared you were dead.”
“Yeah,” James seemed even sadder, “I saw all your unanswered calls. I’m sorry Mairead. I think I’ve handled this badly. Very hard to be strategic when you’re thinking with your heart more than your head.”
She looked into his face and smiled. “I’m here aren’t I?”
He smiled back. “Yes you are and you don’t get to leave my sight for a bloody moment.”
She brought her face closer to his and he allowed her to kiss him until she became more passionate and he gently drew back.
“No you don’t” He growled softly. “You haven’t eaten for at least a day and what energy you have is going into having some food.”
Her stomach growled in support, though she was fast becoming aware of another hunger her body was craving.
James got her one of his t-shirts and pulled it over her head. It covered her enough but she hesitated at the door.
“We are on our own here, aren’t we?”
James smiled, picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder, exposing her again. He pulled the shirt up a bit to plant a kiss on her backside, “Alone and totally at my mercy.”
Mairead couldn’t think of a better state to be in.
While James cooked, she admired the pretty world beyond the door. It was a cottage made of timber and lace and flowers.
She wandered about the lounge room which formed part of the open plan with the dining room and kitchen. There was definitely a feminine influence to the decor but there was little other information to tell whose house they were in.
A large timber buffet displayed some china tea cups and porcelain ornaments on its shelves with more ornaments on the flat top, including a large hairbrush as its centrepiece. Mairead stared at it and approached for a closer look. It was the one James had purchased for Vanessa.
She turned just as James approached with their dinner. “This is Vanessa’s house, isn’t it?”
James nodded. “She bought it the last time she was over and will take up residency next year when she moves here permanently.”
Mairead had mixed feelings about that, “Who looks after it for her?”
“An agency manages it as holiday accommodation and it returns a decent income.” He placed two bowls of stir-fry on a coffee table and sat down upon a couch. “Come and eat.”
Mairead obeyed eagerly. The fading light outside told her that it was indeed a day since she had eaten and she devoured every delicious morsel. When she was finished, she sat back feeling well again, at least physically. Her mind was swinging between the joy of being with James and the gloom of everything else.
“Why do I keep getting flashes of these weird black faces?”
James set two mugs of tea down and sat down again next to her, “Probably Vanessa and I with our ski masks on.”
Mairead laughed, “That’s very dramatic James.”
He shrugged. “I have no doubt Lewis knew who I was but I wasn’t going to make it obvious. After all I’m probably facing a kidnapping charge.”
Mairead shook her head. “I’d never let that happen. I’ll tell them I wanted to go.”
James nodded. “Maybe but the fact I ran his car off the road and held a gun to his head makes it a little more complicated but nothing I’m worried about. Vanessa won’t be brought into this and that’s my only concern.”
Mairead looked at him wide-eyed. “You have a gun?”
“I have a gun,” He frowned at her. “And you never get to see it or go anywhere near it.”
Mairead sulked. “I’m not a complete psycho you know.”
James didn’t answer and drank his tea to hide a grin. Mairead punched his arm.
“And where are my clothes?” She added quietly, guilty that she should even ask. “And the jewellery I was wearing?’
“I’ve put your necklace and earrings away. Vanessa has taken your dress to be cleaned and you had no shoes or underwear on when we got you out of the car.”
James grinned broadly and took another drink.
Mairead narrowed her eyes at him, “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” he was still grinning.
She knew that his mirth was something at her expense, “Tell me.”
James sighed, “You were sound asleep when we got you here. If you weren’t snoring so loudly I would have worried that you
were unconscious. We lay you on the bed while we got water and ran you a bath and when we came back into the bedroom there you were... curled up on your knees, your dress rucked up and bare bum in the air. It looked quite adorable.” James laughed. “Certainly made giving you medication easy,” He laughed even harder.
Mairead was incensed and tried to make him feel ashamed for his amusement. “You didn’t stop to think why I didn’t have any underwear on, did you? He may have already done something to me.”
James shook his head. “If he had I’m sure he would have removed the toilet paper that was kind of... there was paper stuck to you.”
Mairead curled up and buried her face in her knees so he wouldn’t see her embarrassment and was startled when she felt herself hauled on to his lap. She didn’t want to stay there but he wasn’t letting go.
“I was very happy to see that paper Mairead,” He spoke to her face buried in his chest. “I have heard what Richard is capable of and it took a lot of will power not to pull the trigger.”
When she didn’t answer he continued more soberly, “You know what else I was happy about? You did several things last night that you might feel a little mortified over but brought me a great deal of peace.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask,” Mairead groaned.
“You were quite aroused, probably a little from the drugs that were in your system, but every time I touched you, you responded quite animatedly... and you must have called my name a hundred times at least.”
She lifted her head and died a little when she saw that his eyes were shining on the brink of tears.
He spoke softly, “Don’t ever try to tell me you don’t love me again because I won’t believe you. Whatever you’ve done wrong has no substance with me because it only matters that you love me. Do you understand?”
Mairead shook her head. “No I don’t. We are so different James. You’re good and moral and responsible. If you didn’t have me around your life would be completely normal and...”
“My life would be as empty and meaningless as it was up until the day I met you.” James took hold of her chin as she tried to turn away. “You made me live again Mairead. I had seen every horror imaginable in Afghanistan. I watched my friends die, some of them in agony and I couldn’t escape those images. They haunted my dreams and every waking moment.
When I started looking after you, I found myself spending more and more time wondering what trouble you were getting into. You were so oblivious to how horrible the world was and I love that about you.
As much as you were able to make me furious beyond words, you were also able to make me laugh again and feel things I hadn’t felt for a long time. What you’ve given me Mairead, I can never repay except by doing everything I can to make sure you know how completely in love with you I am.”
His kiss was as passionate as his words and Mairead responded, desperately wanting more but still haunted by everything that had happened. She broke away from him and shifted off his lap.
“I don’t deserve you,” she cried bitterly. “I did so many wrong things. I hurt so many people and once again I walk away and leave a trail of misery after me. I hate myself so much right now.
She had barely finished speaking when James seized her and hauled her face down across his lap. There was no preliminary warm up, just a hard and painful spanking that lasted several minutes. When it was over, Mairead struggled to catch her breath between her sobbing.
James gently caressed her burning bottom. As she calmed he spoke to her quietly. “You don’t get to punish yourself anymore. That will be my job from this moment on. I will decide when you need discipline and I will administer it accordingly. Is that understood?”
Mairead felt strangely peaceful. “Yes James.”
“You are going to start learning how to be good to yourself and not allowing your masochistic nature to dictate how you live. I will endeavour to pay you the attention you need so that you don’t look for it in dangerous pursuits and that will include high rise walks, no matter how good you are.”
Mairead smiled, “Wouldn’t therapy and some good counselling be just as effective?”
“No it wouldn’t,” James replied firmly. “For a start you wouldn’t go and if you did you wouldn’t listen. I think my method is going to be a lot more beneficial.”
“Except for my arse,” Mairead grinned and felt his little quake of silent laughter.
“Your arse is literally mine, and if you want to keep it pain free, then you’re going to start behaving yourself.”
The aching between her legs was overtaking the pain emanating from her backside. She hoped the lecture would not last much longer and they could start the best part of making up. She lifted up and gingerly sat down on his lap to look at him.
“Can we make love now?”
James grinned and shook his head. “I’m not finished with you and there are issues we still need to deal with.”
Mairead wanted to scream in frustration but calmly asked, “Such as?”
His grin evolved into a frown. “Mairead you put yourself in enormous danger.” He shook his head, “The extent of which I had no idea until I began to investigate Mark and his father. That psychopath hurt you and it could have been a lot worse.”
“He didn’t treat me too badly,”
The volume of his voice raised a few notches. “I saw the marks on your body from a cane and a belt and I know what those marks look like because I’ve done the same to other women.”
“Because they paid you to do that,” Mairead reminded him, “They wanted you to hurt them.”
“I got out Mairead because I didn’t want to do that anymore,” He sighed. “And then I met you.”
She smiled. “You’ve hardly put a bruise on me, though you’ve made sitting down a little uncomfortable on several occasions.”
“Because I know what I’m doing,” James was getting angry, “Unlike that sadistic prick. Mark Lewis is dangerous. There have been women he’s hurt badly, putting a couple of them in hospital. No charges have ever been laid because they get paid off. He could have hurt you badly.”
“But he didn’t,” She considered telling him how the marks from the belt had got there but knew it would only spark another lecture. Her body craved his attention.
“And it doesn’t come close to the torture you’re giving me right now by holding out on me.” She looked at him with her most sorrowful face.
He buckled a little when he saw her desperation and heard her plead, “I need you.” She could see through his attempt to remain austere that he needed her just as much, but he shook his head.
“I have far too much to do,” His words were losing their conviction. “And nothing will get done if I succumb to you right now.”
Her face fell further as James announced, “What you need, young lady is the rest of that spanking and more sleep and that is exactly what you are going to get.”
“Now wait just a minute,” she looked at him suspiciously. “This has gone way past the ‘smacking my arse to turn me on’ thing.”
James nodded. “It has. If you want to put a label on it, it’s called domestic discipline.”
“So this is more like a twenty-four seven arrangement.”
“It is.”
“Where my arse is continually in the firing line?”
He shrugged, “Only if you make the wrong choices.”
Mairead smiled smugly. “But you’re forgetting that it still turns me on, no matter how you go about it. I might be naughty just to get a spanking.”
“I’m not forgetting anything,” James returned the same smile. “You won’t be getting the special benefits after a spanking if I’m punishing you for something.”
Her smile was gone. “That’s horrible. I can’t believe you would do that to me.”
James looked at her soberly. “I have to do something Mairead to stop you because if I don’t you will do something one day that I can’t save you from and I love you too much to lose you.”
His words were ringing true but acceptance was still a little scary.
“Do I get a say in this?”
“Of course you do,” James affirmed. “I’m not really the hard bastard that I come across as. Like every other man in your life, I am at your mercy. Whatever you want our relationship to be I will give my all, because I love you and your happiness is the only thing that is important to me. I just believe that the relationship I’m offering you is the one you really want.”
Mairead grinned. “Can we do a yearly review?”
The Finest Line Page 25
