by Holly Martin
‘It’s so good to see you,’ Melody said, leaning back to look up at her.
‘It’s really great to see you too.’
Tori looked down at her friend. Her skin was glowing, her eyes shone with happiness. She had been down here less than a year, but it seemed to have done her the world of good.
‘You look really well,’ Tori said.
‘I’m happy here. I really am. I never wanted to leave London or you, but this is home for me now. I can’t imagine ever going back.’
‘Who knew that our Melody was a country bumpkin at heart,’ Isla said as she moved to hug Tori too.
Tori loved Isla. She was a few years older than Melody and Tori, and though that older sister mentality had come with loads of advice about boys and kissing and sex when they’d been teenagers, it also came with a crazy sense of humour and a silliness that Tori adored.
They moved to a table and sat down.
‘I can’t believe you’re here in Sandcastle Bay – it’s so far away and a complete pain in the arse to get to,’ Melody said.
‘It is far away, but that’s still no excuse,’ Tori said. ‘I should have visited you sooner. I’m sorry it’s taken this long to get down here.’
Melody waved away her attempt at an apology. ‘You have nothing to be sorry for. You were making a movie, that’s such a huge deal, especially in the animating field. We couldn’t be prouder of your achievements.’
‘We know how much work goes into that sort of thing,’ Isla said. ‘I bet you’ve been down at the studio night and day.’
‘It certainly feels that way, but I should have tried to make more of an effort to get down here.’
‘And we could have come up and seen you so we’re all as guilty. You’re here now, that’s all that matters,’ Melody said, and Tori loved her for not holding any kind of grudge.
‘You had family commitments,’ Tori said, glancing at Isla. Matthew’s death had such a big impact on all of their lives, but as Isla was now looking after his son, Elliot, her life must have changed the most. She wanted to ask her about it, but it seemed insensitive to word it like that. ‘How has it been moving down here, it can’t have been easy?’
‘It’s so different. There’s nothing here.’ Melody had the biggest smile on her face as she spoke. This was not someone who was suffering in her new home. ‘Being a city girl like me, you’ll miss everything you love about London. The coffee shops, the amazing restaurants, the entertainment, the shows, the street performers, the fact that every day is different. It’s so quiet here and nothing ever happens. It’s such a startling contrast. I’m not sure why Matthew loved the place so much.’
The mention of his name was another little kick to the stomach. It hurt more than it should because Tori didn’t feel she had any right to grieve over him. Though she supposed they had been best friends long before anything had happened between them. Long before she had pushed him away. Twice. The worst thing was Melody and Isla had no idea that anything had ever gone on between them, or that part of the reason why Tori had put off coming to Sandcastle Bay was that it had been Matthew’s home and it hurt to be reminded of him and what she could have had, had she been brave enough to take it.
‘I love Elliot so much and I don’t regret for one second that Matthew asked me to be his legal guardian if anything was to happen to him,’ Isla said. ‘Elliot has changed my life, for the better. But it has been hard moving here. I love Sandcastle Bay, there’s so much community spirit here, everyone looks out for everyone else and I do love that, but coupled with that is this nosiness where everyone thinks they have the right to comment on your business. And I miss my job in London. Growing up, all I ever wanted was to be a window dresser. After watching Mannequin, I wanted to create masterpieces like that in shop windows and I do that… I did that. I trained hard to get where I was, head visual merchandiser in one of the biggest department stores in the world. I travelled the world to advise on different windows or specialised themes and I miss that so much. Not much call for a window dresser in the little corner shop in Sandcastle Bay. But I’m doing OK financially at the moment. Matthew’s life insurance finally paid out and that has helped quite a lot, but it won’t last forever and while I’ve been happy to just be there for Elliot over the last year, I will need a job eventually. There are no jobs round here, all the businesses are struggling to stay afloat and my skills are not exactly transferable.’
‘Would you ever move back to London, take Elliot with you?’ Tori asked.
Isla shook her head immediately. ‘He loves it here and I love being able to take him to Sunshine Beach every day and watch him play. I do miss my old life, but I can’t go back to that, not with a young child. Early mornings, late nights, all that travel. And what kind of life would he have living in inner London compared to living here? I miss London so much, but I can live vicariously through you.’
‘I think you’re amazing, I really do,’ Tori said. ‘You had this wonderful job, this brilliant life in London, this seemingly fabulous boyfriend – although he turned out to be a complete ass – and you gave it all up for Elliot. And I know there was no choice and you don’t regret it, but I admire you so much for doing what you did – both of you in fact. I know if I was Elliot’s godmother, I would have done the same thing, but leaving London would be so hard. I love my job and I love where I live. I’d miss it so much if I had to leave. I love being able to get something to eat at any hour of the day, and not just burgers but Nepalese, Portuguese, French, Australian, Icelandic if I so wish. I love the theatres and the museums, I’d miss the fast-paced life, where no day is the same. I’d miss the street performers and markets and restaurants and shops. Having said that, this place does have a certain appeal, I can see why you’d be happy here. And, I suppose, even if I did leave London, I would still be doing my job as I can freelance from anywhere. I couldn’t imagine giving up a job I loved as well, it would feel like I’d lost some of my identity somehow.’
Isla nodded her agreement. ‘It feels exactly like that. Someone referred to me as Elliot’s mummy the other day and I thought, is that all I am now? Isla Rosewood was a name that was recognised in London. Any department store managers or anyone who worked in visual merchandising knew my name. Here I’m Matthew’s sister, or Elliot’s mummy or “that poor girl.”’
Tori took Isla’s hand. She had lost so much more than a brother when Matthew died.
‘How is Elliot doing?’ Tori asked.
‘Thriving under Isla’s care,’ Melody said, proudly.
‘I’ve seen his photos, he looks so happy,’ Tori said. ‘I can’t think of a better person to raise him.’ She suddenly panicked that Melody would take offence at that. Tori had never asked her whether she minded that Isla had been asked to take care of Elliot and not Melody. She looked at Melody. ‘I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t do a great job, I just…’
‘Oh god, I’m not ready to have children yet. Matthew knew that. Isla is definitely the best person for the job and as the oldest it makes sense that Elliot should go to her. She’s wanted kids all her life, whereas I’ve always been more keen on dogs than kids. I want children some day but not yet. I love Elliot, I love spending time with him and looking after him, but I also love my own space and there’s a big difference between being a fun aunt to Elliot and being a parent. Isla is a great mum to Elliot, the best he’s ever had.’
Tori knew that was a dig at Sadie, Elliot’s real mum, who had left Matthew to raise Elliot on his own when Elliot was only one. As far as Tori was aware, she’d never been heard of since. Apparently, she had emigrated to Australia and pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth.
‘And how is he doing with the grief?’
‘He was only four at the time, how do you explain to a four-year-old that their dad isn’t coming back?’ Isla’s voice caught in her throat. ‘He already knows his mum has left him, though I have no idea how Matthew handled that one. When I first told him that Matthew was dead he simply nodded
and asked if we could have lasagne and garlic bread for tea.’
‘Then he kept asking when Daddy was coming home,’ Melody said. ‘It was heartbreaking.’
‘He asked if we should put some sandwiches in the coffin in case Daddy got hungry,’ Isla said. ‘Most of the time he seems fine, his normal, happy, cheeky self,’ she added. ‘I don’t think he totally gets it. He says he misses Daddy and then goes out in the garden and plays with his dinosaurs as if nothing has happened. He’s a bit clingy sometimes, especially at bedtime. He had an imaginary friend for a while, though he seems to have gone now. Apparently, that’s quite normal, but it freaked me out at the time.’
‘I can imagine,’ Tori said, shaking her head. Isla and Melody had been through such a tough time over the last year, not only coping with their own grief at losing their brother but helping Elliot to come to terms with his as well.
Emily came over with Tori’s drink and a jam doughnut. ‘Can I get you two girls anything?’
Isla and Melody shook their heads. ‘No thanks, I have to get off shortly,’ Isla said.
‘Me too,’ Melody said.
Emily nodded and left them alone.
Tori took a sip of her tea. ‘Where is Elliot now?’
‘Mum’s got him,’ Melody said, an edge to her voice.
Tori pulled a face, knowing the relationship between Melody, Isla and their mum had been strained for several years, mainly since their dad left. While Tori’s mum had spent several years after her dad walked out crying, closing herself off from the world and generally feeling sorry for herself, when Melody and Isla’s dad left, their mum had dealt with it by being angry at everyone, including her children. Melody, Isla and Matthew, after an initial period of being angry at their dad, had still maintained a relationship with him and their mum hadn’t been happy with that either. Since Matthew’s death, her grief had manifested itself as anger again, and although she had relocated to Sandcastle Bay to help Isla with Elliot, she made sure that anyone who listened knew what an inconvenience it was.
‘And how has it been with your mum?’
‘Hard work,’ Melody said. ‘Nothing Isla does is right.’
‘She thinks she should have had custody of Elliot,’ Isla explained. ‘Although whenever she has Elliot, her idea of playing with him is to sit on the sofa or in a deckchair and watch him play. She wouldn’t want another child to look after now, not after all this time. And her ability to find fault in everything would make her a terrible guardian, though she can’t see that. I do appreciate her help and Elliot adores her. Whenever she’s angry, Elliot giggles and says she has her grumpy pants on which actually makes her laugh, but I do try to reduce the time I leave him with her to a minimum.’
‘Well, if you need a sitter while I’m here, I’d be happy to help.’
‘That’s very sweet, thank you. How are things with you?’
‘Yes, please tell me you’ve managed to get out of the house occasionally over the last year?’ Melody asked.
Tori thought about how to answer that question, because if she answered it truthfully, they would worry and feel guilty and she didn’t want that. The sad truth was her life had been so intrinsically wrapped up in the Rosewoods’ life for so long she didn’t really know how to exist without them. She couldn’t remember a time when Melody, Isla and Matthew hadn’t been in her life. She had grown up with them, playing round their house every day, as she lived across the street from them in London. Melody and Matthew were her best friends, and though Isla was a bit older she still hung around with them a lot. When Tori’s dad had left, Tori had spent almost all her time at the Rosewoods’ house as her mum’s sadness over the divorce meant pushing everyone away, including her.
And then there was her friendship with Matthew. He had been her first kiss when she was thirteen years old. A game of spin the bottle which had ended with a wonderful result. She’d probably fallen a little in love with him then. Although nothing had happened between them after that kiss, they’d stayed really close friends for the next few years, spending a lot of time alone, just the two of them. She adored him. Years later, a few days before he left for his gap year, he had been the first person she had made love to as well. She wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened. They hadn’t been dating, but a conversation about how much she would miss him had led to a kiss and that kiss had continued until they were both lying naked on the sofa in the most intimate way possible. It had been quite clear there had been these buried feelings between them both for years. After that he’d left and, though they’d stayed in touch, they had never been close again – that is, until shortly before Matthew’s death. Probably because she had told him she wasn’t interested in having any kind of relationship. She had pushed him away just as she had again years later.
After Matthew had left, her friendship with Melody had remained close. She’d gone to university with Melody. They’d had other friends at school and university but, as with most things, they’d lost touch with them as they’d all slowly moved out of the area or even out of the country. When Melody and Tori had got jobs in London, the natural progression was to get a flat together. They’d spend their evenings with each other at home, watching box sets or meeting up with Matthew and Isla once or twice a week. She had missed Matthew terribly when he had moved to Sandcastle Bay, but she’d still had Melody and Isla. Then, after Matthew had died and Isla and Melody had moved to Sandcastle Bay too, she realised how utterly alone she was. She had good friends at work, but she had never socialised with them before, so they looked at her a little weirdly when she had tried to suggest it. She’d ended up working extra-long hours and even at weekends to try to cover over her lonely existence, although she knew part of that was to try to escape the guilt and sadness surrounding Matthew’s death.
She realised they were still waiting for an answer.
‘I’ve been skateboarding,’ Tori said, which was the truth, but she didn’t need to specify that she’d only been once, maybe twice. ‘And I started Pilates.’ Although she hadn’t made any friends there. She didn’t even know any names of the people in her class. They all came to do Pilates not to chat. She sighed. ‘I’ve missed you guys so much.’
‘Ah no, I feel terrible for leaving you,’ Melody said. ‘I’ve missed you too, leaving you was like cutting off one of my limbs and leaving it behind.’
‘Don’t feel bad, family comes first,’ Tori said.
‘You’re family,’ Melody said. ‘I love you. Growing up I wanted to swap you for Matthew and have you come and live with me instead of my stinky brother. I was in bits for the first few months I was down here, and I realised a huge part of that was leaving you.’
Tori knew this to be true. They’d spoken on the phone pretty much every night for the first three or four months after Melody had left. Most of those phone calls had just been Melody crying and Tori crying with her. Matthew’s death had hit them both hard. She missed talking to him so much. But losing Melody to Sandcastle Bay had hurt like hell too. And she knew some of her grief about Matthew was tied up in that as well.
‘We just need to make this work,’ Melody went on. ‘I need to come up and see you more and maybe you can come down here more often, but I’m not letting you go.’
‘I’m not letting you go either,’ Tori said. ‘You’re way too important to me for that. I definitely need to make more of an effort to come down.’
‘You know this problem would be solved if you just moved to Sandcastle Bay,’ Isla teased. ‘As you said, you can work from anywhere.’
Tori smiled and looked out of the window to the golden sands of the beach. Could she really do that? She loved London but there was nothing there for her any more.
‘Look, I have to go, I promised Elliot we’d enter a sandcastle-building competition this afternoon,’ Isla said, standing up. ‘Shall we meet at The Mermaid pub tonight? We have so much more to catch up on.’
‘About seven?’ Tori said.
Isla nodded and gave Tori a ki
ss on the cheek, a proper, warm kiss not an empty air kiss, before she left.
Tori turned back to Melody as she reached across the table and took a bite of Tori’s doughnut. Tori didn’t even bat an eye; they had always stolen each other’s food when they lived with each other.
‘Are you really OK about living here? I know you’d never say otherwise in front of Isla.’
‘When she called me a few weeks after Matthew’s death and asked me to come down here, I didn’t know what to do, my life was in London. I know she was scared that she couldn’t do a good enough job looking after Elliot, which was definitely unfounded, but I know she felt so alone with this new, huge responsibility. There was no way I could leave her to do it on her own. I figured I’d come down here for a year or two, and once she was more settled I’d come back to London, but that changed almost as soon as I got here. Sandcastle Bay has a way of getting under your skin. I love it here.’
‘And is she doing OK with raising Elliot? That has to be tough on anyone. Being a mum is a hard job but suddenly being a mum to a four-year-old is a whole different ball game.’
Melody smiled. ‘He’s five now. Celebrated his birthday last month. But Isla was born to be a mum; I wasn’t lying when I said she was the best person for the job. She has always wanted children and you know she kept asking Daniel about it and he kept putting her off.’
Tori scowled at the thought of Daniel. He had seemed like such a nice guy, she thought he had loved Isla and Isla had certainly thought they were heading for forever. Marriage, children, the whole caboodle. But after the accident, he had wanted no part in raising Elliot. He’d even told Isla that she had to choose between them. Of course, that had taken her about half a second to decide.
‘It is hard being a single mum but she loves it,’ Melody went on. ‘I know she loved her job but here she is genuinely happy, in a way I don’t think she was when she was living in London.’
