by Holly Martin
‘Yes, I know it doesn’t look like much, but it should do the job.’
‘Should?’
He laughed. ‘That’s the point of the race, people build water crafts and only the best boats will get to the island safely. Half of the entrants end up in the water. It really is a bit of fun rather than a serious boat race.’
‘I know but I was expecting something a bit more…’
‘Professional?’
‘Boat-shaped.’
He laughed again.
‘How is it going to move anyway? Or are you just hoping it will float in the right direction?’
‘No, I have an oar, I figured I would treat this like a giant paddleboard.’
‘Any other form of propulsion?’
‘Well, that’s where you come in. I’ve adapted these foot pumps. The air pipes are going to be shorter and the end is funnel-shaped, so more air will burst out of them in a kind of V-shaped angle. There’ll be three of them attached to the back. You’ll jump on them alternately to give it a little burst through the water. If we need to turn the raft then you can jump on one of the side ones, depending on which way we want to go.’
Tori stared at him and then back at the boat. ‘You want me to jump up and down on a boat that’s made from oversized matchsticks? I don’t fancy our chances.’
‘There will also be balloons on the sides to help it float.’
‘Oh, why didn’t you say so? Balloons, of course!’ Tori said, dryly.
‘Of course, if you’re too scared…’ Aidan trailed off, clearly knowing she would take the bait.
She was supposed to be trying things outside of her comfort zone after all.
‘Oh, what the hell,’ Tori said. ‘I’m in. But if I fall in, you’ll be in big trouble, Aidan Jackson.’
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her nose. ‘If you fall, I will catch you.’
‘You’re so smooth.’
‘And you love it.’
She smiled at him, because she really did.
* * *
‘So, are either of you making a boat for the boat race this year?’ Tori asked Melody and Isla as they wandered around the aquarium. Leo was walking with Elliot a little way ahead as Elliot excitedly pointed out the different animals.
‘The boats are made by all the local businesses and, as I don’t have a job, I’ve been let off the hook,’ Isla said. ‘Leo said I can go on his if I want but then Elliot would want to go as well, and I’d spend the whole time worrying he was going to fall in and drown. So, I think we’ll just cheer him on from the bank. Melody, have you made a boat?’ Isla asked, obviously knowing that she hadn’t.
‘No, you know I’m not the least bit practical when it comes to stuff like that. I’ll stand and cheer everyone else on,’ Melody said.
‘And hope that Jamie will give you a piece of his cake,’ Isla teased.
‘He’s not going to do that,’ Melody said. ‘Though if he offered it to me, I wouldn’t say no.’
Isla laughed. ‘What about you Tori, will you be hoping that Aidan gives you some of his cake?’
‘I’m going to be going on the boat with him actually, representing Heartberry Farm together. It’s very unlikely we’ll get to the island to get the cake, his boat looks like it’s made from matchsticks, but if we do manage to get to the island without drowning, we’ll share the cake,’ Tori said.
‘Oooh, you know what the villagers will make of that, don’t you,’ Melody teased. ‘There’s a lot of rumours about you two already, though I imagine a lot of that has to do with Agatha.’
Tori smiled. ‘I don’t care, they can make of it what they want, and if they want to talk about us, let them.’
‘That’s a very relaxed attitude from you,’ Melody said.
Tori shrugged. Nothing was going to bring down her happiness today.
‘And would there be any truth in those rumours?’ Isla asked, obviously noticing the huge smile on Tori’s face.
Tori hesitated. Would it be right to tell them the truth, when Matthew’s memorial had only happened the day before? She didn’t want to hurt them. But they already knew that she liked Aidan and she couldn’t lie to them. They had seen her hesitate anyway, so they knew that something was going on.
‘We slept together,’ Tori said, quietly.
There was no judgement or anger from her friends, only happiness and excitement. Melody went one step further and squealed with joy, which made both Leo and Elliot turn around with interest. Isla waved them on and Leo took the hint.
‘When was this?’ Isla whispered, though their voices seemed to echo around the glass walls of the aquarium.
‘Yesterday evening.’ Tori cringed over the timing of it happening after Matthew’s memorial. ‘And late last night after the berry-picking and, umm, this morning too.’
‘I’m so happy for you,’ Melody said. ‘So, you… like him?’
Tori smiled at Melody’s hope for a happy ending. ‘I really like him.’
‘This is fantastic,’ Isla said, linking arms with her. ‘You’re always so anti-relationships so I’m glad Aidan has found a way to knock your walls down.’
‘I don’t know if it will amount to anything, I leave in a few weeks,’ Tori said. ‘And he couldn’t live any further away from me. But I’m really happy right now and if there is something worth fighting for when I go home, we’ll make it work somehow.’
‘This is a big thing for Aidan as well,’ Isla said. ‘He hasn’t been involved with anyone since his fiancée ditched him at the altar a few years ago.’
‘Maybe you can help heal each other,’ Melody said, dreamily. ‘And rather selfishly, if it does work out between the two of you, then you’ll be here more often, and I’ll get to see you more.’
‘I want to come down and see you guys more often anyway. Being involved in that film was fantastic but I’ve always loved the freelance stuff and if I take on more of those projects I can do that anywhere. Regardless of what happens with Aidan, I promise I’ll make more of an effort from now on. But yes, being with him does have the bonus of seeing more of you.’
‘So… you slept together three times in less than twenty-four hours. Sounds like it was good sex?’ Isla asked, obviously fishing for details.
‘I’m not giving you a blow-by-blow account,’ Tori laughed. ‘No pun intended.’
‘Oh, come on,’ Melody said, linking her arm through Tori’s as well. ‘Just a few little morsels.’
‘OK.’ Tori paused, wondering how on earth she could find the right words to describe what had happened between her and Aidan. It wasn’t just sex and they both knew that. ‘It was amazing. It was like how sex is supposed to be, like how it is in the movies.’
‘What, passionate, urgent, tearing each other’s clothes off and sleeping with him on the nearest flat surface?’ Isla asked.
‘No, tender and sweet and… full of love.’
She saw their looks of surprise.
‘I know, I know, I shouldn’t be reading into this. It could just be a fling to him. I wasn’t looking for anything when I came here. He knows I’m leaving in a few weeks and he told me he’s not looking for anything serious. Lord knows that I probably shouldn’t be either, I swore off men ages ago. But there’s something about him that I just can’t walk away from. What we shared was something special, I can’t explain it but there was this connection there that I’ve never felt with anyone before.’
‘I can tell you really like him, your eyes are bright with happiness and I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile this much,’ Melody said.
‘I think it’s OK to have some fun and enjoy spending time with him without any labels or worrying about where it’s going,’ Isla said.
‘I suppose I’m still wary about getting hurt again. I was so scared of getting hurt when I was seeing Matthew and losing him was so painful. I don’t want to get carried away and start thinking it is what it isn’t. If I let myself fall in love with him, I know it will hurt even more
when it comes to an end,’ Tori said, hating her cautious heart which was always there, striving to be heard.
‘If it comes to an end,’ Melody said.
‘I’m trying to hold myself back but if I don’t give it my all then that’s not giving this relationship a chance. I don’t know, it’s complicated,’ Tori sighed.
‘Only if you make it complicated,’ Melody said.
‘I agree, this will either work or it won’t,’ Isla said. ‘You might not fall in love with him. If after a few weeks, you realise this isn’t for you, then you can walk away relatively unscathed.’
‘But I don’t want to hurt him either. That’s the very last thing I want. I’d rather end things between us now than do anything to hurt him.’
Leo came over then, with Elliot swinging from his hand.
‘Elliot wants to go to the shark exhibit next. Well, specifically he wanted you to take him to see the sharks,’ Leo said, meaningfully.
Isla obviously took the hint that Leo wanted to speak to Tori without Elliot overhearing. She took Elliot’s hand.
‘Don’t ruin this for her,’ Isla whispered in his ear.
Leo shook his head. ‘I won’t, I promise.’
Isla took Elliot ahead of them, following the signs for the sharks, and Melody went with them. Tori and Leo followed slowly behind.
Tori waited for some kind of warning from Leo to stay away from Aidan or maybe he would make her feel guilty by mentioning Matthew. She wondered idly whether to mention the idea of the prank they wanted to play on Agatha, but it seemed somewhat redundant now that she had slept with Aidan. They were now together, and Agatha was sure to hear anyway.
‘I couldn’t help but overhear,’ Leo said, softly. ‘It echoes in here. So, it seems you owe me fifty pounds.’
Tori laughed with relief. ‘A price I’d happily pay.’
‘Aidan doesn’t get involved with women easily. He’s not a… fling sort of person. He swore off relationships years ago, same as you, so you are both taking a risk on each other. If he’s getting involved with you, it’s because he really likes you, because he sees something special in you. So, if your worry over this is that he might not feel the same way as you do, then I would very much doubt that to be true. Give him a chance, see where it goes. And if you think it doesn’t have a future, then tell him straight away, don’t string him along until the end of your visit. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself. Nothing hurts like being jilted at the altar by the woman he loved. If this was to end after a few weeks, I think he’ll be OK. It will hurt him obviously, but he will survive it. He chose to get involved with you, knowing you would be leaving, so he knows the risks.’
She thought about this and knew he was right.
‘Thank you,’ Tori said.
Leo shrugged. ‘I want him to be happy and I have a funny feeling you’re going to give him that, even if it does only last a few weeks.’
‘I’ll get you your money.’
Leo laughed. ‘Keep it. Besides, if the relationship does end up being a serious one, you’ll need the money to pay off Agatha in a year’s time.’
‘What?’ Tori asked in confusion.
‘Aidan had a bet with Agatha too. She thinks you’ll get married within the year.’
Tori laughed. ‘A year? That’s optimistic even if things do work out between us.’
‘Well keep your fifty pounds, just in case.’
Leo shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. ‘This is the email Matthew wrote to you. Like I said, I have no idea if he intended to send it or not.’
She felt the smile fall from her face as she held it in her hands, feeling the weight of his words before she had even opened the page.
She unfolded it and stopped walking, so she could read. Leo waited for her a little way off.
* * *
Tori,
God, you infuriate me so much. Always you run, you push people away, afraid of making connections. And I know why. I was there remember, when your dad walked out of your life. I held your hand when you cried, when your heart broke beyond repair, when you decided that your dad obviously didn’t love you. The one man who should have been there for you, the one man you thought you could trust, let you down so badly, you turned away from love for the rest of your life. And not just your relationships with men, your relationship with friends. Me, Melody and Isla have always been there for you and we always will be. There was never any pushing us away, but you’ve never really made any real friends outside of us. Colleagues, associates, acquaintances yes, but never real kinds of friends because letting people in would require you to trust them and you couldn’t do that.
* * *
Tori swallowed down the tears clogging in her throat. He was so right. She had no friends beyond Melody and Isla. When Melody had left London, she had been utterly alone. She’d never realised before that she hadn’t wanted to make more friends, that maybe, subconsciously, she was pushing people away.
* * *
With Luc, you held yourself back too. I know that you eventually fell in love with him and like the other men in your life he let you down. I’m not saying there was any excuse for what he did, he was an asshole and should have had the balls to talk to you, break up with you if he no longer wanted to be with you, not sleep with someone else behind your back. But maybe it never worked out because of more than him being an unfaithful shit. You held back for so long. Maybe he never felt that connection from you, maybe you always kept that piece of your heart locked away and maybe that was one of the reasons it never worked.
And then there’s me, your best friend. You trusted me to be the first person you made love to, and now I need you to trust in me again. I let you go before, let you push me away the first time we made love because I knew you needed that space after we were so intimate together. I knew you were so scared of love and, at eighteen, I didn’t see any way past that.
I’m not letting you walk away now.
I love you and, if I’m honest with myself, I think I have always been in love with you.
There are no guarantees in love. There are no guarantees in life. Life is not a rose-tinted happy smiling place, it’s a messy, crazy, wonderful thing. There will always be things that will hurt us, physically, mentally, emotionally, no matter how much you try to protect yourself from it. Life is hard but it’s so much better when you have someone by your side to enjoy the highs with and navigate the lows. Sometimes you have to take a risk, follow your heart, be brave and stop worrying about the what ifs.
I’m coming to London next weekend and we’re going to talk about this properly. No more running away.
I love you.
Matthew xx
* * *
Tori was almost sobbing by the time she got to the end of the email. Fear had held her back her entire life and she had let it ruin this wonderful relationship with her best friend, the man she loved. She had missed her chance with him, holding back, just like she’d done with Luc too.
Her dad walking out on her when she was a child, the first and only man she had loved with everything she had, had such huge implications on the rest of her life. But she knew she couldn’t let it affect her any more.
‘Ah come on, don’t cry,’ Leo said, awkwardly, as he approached. ‘Isla will give me hell thinking it was something I said that upset you. And as you know, Isla is not someone you get on the wrong side of.’
Tori laughed through her tears. ‘I’ll tell her it’s hay fever.’
‘She’ll see right through that one. Not too many flowers inside an aquarium.’
She laughed again, wiping her tears away. ‘I’ll put my sunglasses on, she’ll never know.’
‘Oh, like wearing sunglasses inside isn’t obvious,’ Leo complained, but it was clear he was only teasing her. He fell in at her side as they made their way slowly towards the sharks. ‘Did I do the right thing showing you that email?’ he asked, quietly.
She nodded.
‘And
has it made any difference to how you feel about your relationship with Aidan?’
‘Actually, it has.’
Leo cringed. ‘That’s the last thing I wanted.’
‘No, Matthew was right, it’s time to stop running away and be brave for once.’
Leo let out a sigh of relief.
19
Aidan knocked on the door of Blossom Cottage the next day and smiled when Tori came practically bouncing to the door, a huge smile filling her face, her beautiful red curls swinging about her cheeks. It was crazy, it had only been a few hours since she’d left his bed but he had missed being around her.
‘I’m so glad you’re here. You get to see your advert being made, well a tiny part of it. Not many clients get to come on set and see it, so it’s exciting that you’re here,’ Tori said, visibly buzzing with happiness. He wanted to reach out and kiss her.
‘I’m excited to see it too,’ Aidan said, though it was seeing Tori at work that he was most looking forward to. It was clear she was in her element; she obviously loved her job and it was wonderful to see.
She took his hand and pulled him inside. He saw that there was a green screen set up against the wall in the back of the lounge and the coffee table had been pulled into the corner. There was lighting, a laptop, a camera hooked up to the laptop, and there was Max centre stage, ready for his starring role.
Before she got there, Aidan snagged her and pulled her back to him, wrapping his arms around her waist.
‘Hello.’ He bent his head and kissed her, and felt her smile against his lips.
‘Hello you.’
She reached up and kissed him again, running her hands round the back of his neck. He pulled her closer, wanting to stroke everywhere at once. He felt her tongue against his and then she moaned softly against his lips, before she pulled away.
