by Holly Martin
* * *
The storm hit early that evening.
Dark clouds had been racing across the sky all day and the festivities of the Heartberry Love Festival had to be accommodated around several heavy rain showers.
The celebrations were well underway in the village hall, with dancing, singing, eating and various games throughout the night. Although rain was predicted to continue for most of the night, Leo had insisted that wouldn’t stop him delivering the firework extravaganza later that evening and everyone in the village was really looking forward to it. Aidan felt bad that Tori wouldn’t get to see it all – the love festival was always a good night.
After Jamie’s soggy ordeal at the river earlier, he and Melody had decided a quiet night in looking after the puppies was just what they needed, so Aidan and Tori were free to start picking the fruit whenever they wanted.
The weather forecasts were not good. The news was reporting that over a foot of rain would be dumped on the south-west corner of England overnight and Aidan was even starting to worry that the river would flood on the far side of the heartberry field.
Aidan looked out the window of the farmhouse at the trees bent at odd angles as the wind ripped across his land. Rain lashed against the window. The sky was a deep purply grey, making it almost as dark as night out there even though the sun wasn’t due to set for a few more hours yet.
Tori wrapped her arms round his stomach as she stood behind him, pressing a kiss into his shoulder blades.
He wrapped his hand around hers, holding it against his heart. He was glad she was here. And not just because of the help he needed with picking the berries, but also for emotional support too. Hell, it wasn’t that he wanted her for that, he just wanted her close. She had this glow about her that spread warmth and happiness wherever she went, and he wanted to hold onto her forever. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He knew she liked him a lot but there was a big difference between liking someone and giving up your whole way of life to spend the rest of your days with them. There was no way she would leave London to live here, there was nothing in Sandcastle Bay for her, and he had nothing to offer her either. A life on a fruit farm was not exactly exciting or fast-paced. Imogen had hated it here and Tori would grow to hate it too and then she’d start to hate him as well.
Could he move to London to be with her? Life would be so different there, fast, loud and congested. What would he do for work? And what would happen to the fruit farm if he were to sell it? He couldn’t see any of his brothers wanting to take on that responsibility, and Emily was busy with her café. He couldn’t sell it on to someone outside the family. Developers were clamouring for land to build houses and flats in seaside locations and his land offered so much opportunity for that. River and sea views plus all the fields and hills. He had been offered large sums of money on many occasions to buy his land and he had always turned them down. He couldn’t do that to his family’s legacy or to the people of Sandcastle Bay. The heartberries were too important for that.
And none of this mattered anyway. They both agreed this was going to be something casual. Tori would probably be horrified that he was thinking of selling everything he owned to move to London to be with her.
No, this was simply a bit of fun and he was totally OK with that. She was leaving in a week and that was just fine. He hadn’t fallen in love with her, not at all. Definitely not.
He turned round and took her in his arms, kissing her sweetly, and his heart ached inside his chest. He could say it a hundred times, but he couldn’t persuade his heart that he didn’t have feelings for her.
He sighed. He had been telling her not to worry about the future, but he was now doing exactly the same thing. When things had first started between them, he had been very laid-back about it all but now, as his feelings for her deepened, so had the fear and doubt.
She reached up and stroked his cheek as she kissed him, and he was hugely tempted to strip her naked and make love to her here on the floor of the lounge. Not just for sex, but because he needed to be connected to her in every way that he could. He could easily lose himself in her for hours and then the heartberries could be ruined under a sea of water.
He pulled back just as she was reaching for more.
‘I think we better go and check on the heartberry field. We are about two hours from high tide, so it will give us a good indication of how this storm is going to affect us,’ Aidan said.
‘You say the most romantic things,’ Tori said.
He cursed to himself. She had been kissing him, stroking his face, and he was talking about bloody berries. He wasn’t a romantic sort. That was what she wanted, what she deserved. But she wouldn’t get that from him. He thought back to when she’d thought he had planned a romantic picnic for their first night of berry-picking and how disappointed she’d been when she’d found out it was just some snacks he always packed for late-night fruit-picking. She really was in for a lifetime of disappointment if she was with him. Imogen used to berate him for his lack of romance too. Sure, if he really thought about it, he could arrange a sunset walk or remember to give her a bunch of flowers from time to time but that kind of thing never came naturally to him.
‘I’m sorry,’ Aidan said.
She frowned. ‘Don’t be. I know you’re worried. I’m ready to go whenever you are.’
‘I promise you a night of romance when we get back.’
‘Ha, by romance you mean hot sex? I’m totally on board for that.’
Was that really all he had to offer her? A great night in the sack?
‘Well, I can definitely deliver on that,’ Aidan said, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.
‘You always do.’ She trailed her hand over his chest down to his belly. He caught it and kissed each one of her fingers and then turned her hand over and kissed her wrist, feeling her pulse race against his lips.
‘Come on you, let’s go,’ Tori said, reluctantly. ‘You keep kissing me like that and we’re never getting out of here.’
He let her go and handed her a raincoat, then grabbed his and they walked out to the jeep.
They started the drive down to the heartberry field.
‘Did you see that Leo shared his piece of cake with Isla and Elliot?’ Tori said and he knew she was trying to distract him.
‘I didn’t see it but I certainly heard about it.’
‘There was practically a collective gasp from the villagers when he did it,’ Tori laughed.
‘He’s never given his cake to anyone before, it’s a big thing. In the eyes of the villagers, he is publicly declaring his love for her and she accepted it and ate it. I’m not sure if she knows the significance of that but I imagine the villagers will be taking polls over when they’ll get married now.’
‘I think it will take a bit more than a slice of cake to get her to walk down the aisle with him.’
He frowned. ‘She doesn’t have feelings for him?’
‘Oh, I’m pretty sure she’s crazy about him but if he really does love her, he needs to tell her with more than a piece of cake. The actual words will probably do it.’
‘That’s not Leo’s style.’
‘Well he needs to change his style,’ Tori said.
Aidan thought about this. Leo knew exactly what he was doing and for him to share the cake with Isla he must have real feelings for her. Maybe he needed to have a word with him about being a bit more explicit. Although knowing Leo, he would tell Aidan where to stick his helpful advice.
Tori sighed contentedly. He looked across and saw her smiling as she looked out the windscreen.
‘You OK?’
‘This view, I could look at it forever.’
He tried to see it through her eyes. The sky was charcoal grey with clouds of damson purple, the sea below them a churning swell of inky blue and white-capped waves. There was no sun at all.
She must have seen his scepticism.
‘I know you don’t see it because you see it every day, but th
is view over the fruit fields and the sea beyond is beautiful. The sea changes every day, different colours, different conditions. It really is incredible. My view from my flat in London stays the same day in and day out. Yes, the weather changes, but it’s the same buildings, the same traffic that rushes past every day. This is amazing.’
Could this view really be enough to make her want to stay? He shook his head. He was not naïve enough to think it could be as simple as that.
‘I’m loving this holiday,’ Tori went on. ‘The beaches, the berry-picking, your wonderful crazy family. You.’
He reached across and put a hand on her thigh. ‘We’ve had fun, haven’t we?’
She looked over at him with uncertainty in her eyes. ‘We have. Are you OK, you seem distant?’
He hesitated and then decided to share some of his feelings at least. ‘I’m just worried.’
‘About the berries?’
‘Well yes, that, but about us. The future.’
‘I thought that was my job,’ Tori teased.
He smiled as he rounded a bend in the driveway.
‘The way you talk sometimes, it’s like you see a future here that’s beyond just a few weeks’ stay. I worry that…’ he trailed off. He worried that he was seeing things that weren’t really there, that he was getting his hopes up and then he would be bitterly disappointed when she left with not so much as a backwards glance. But he couldn’t say any of those things to her.
‘You worry that I’m getting the wrong impression of what this is,’ Tori finished for him, completely inaccurately. ‘You don’t need to worry that I’m going to turn into a weird stalker, that I’ll turn up at the farmhouse with all my suitcases at the end of my stay and declare that I’m moving in. You said you wanted to keep this casual, I get that.’
He cringed. He regretted that conversation, he’d handled it badly. She had wanted to talk, and he had closed her out.
‘Well actually I don’t,’ Tori said. ‘The way you hold me when we make love, the way you kiss me and look at me says this is way more than casual, but you say you don’t want anything serious and I just can’t reconcile the two. I leave in a few days, is that going to be it? We’re both just going to walk away from this and never see each other again?’
‘Well you’ll be back to visit Melody and Isla, we’ll see each other then,’ Aidan said. He realised he was terrified of losing her but probably more scared of trying to keep her, of falling in love with her and then losing her in a few months’ time when it came to an end.
‘So that’s it?’ Tori rounded on him. ‘Casual sex every time I swing into town?’
‘What else can I offer you? Did you really see this working? You would never give up your life in London and move here. There’s nothing for you here, no cinemas, no glamorous clubs or parties, no big department stores or designer shops. Life in Sandcastle Bay would never have been enough for you. It never would have worked,’ Aidan said.
‘You’re laying the ghosts of your past at my feet,’ Tori said. ‘Imogen might have wanted all of that but that isn’t me. You clearly don’t know me at all if you think those things matter to me. I might live in London but that doesn’t define me.’
‘So, you’d really move here? You’d end up resenting me because of it.’
‘Why would I resent you? If I moved here, it would be my choice.’
‘Because I’m not enough for you. I’d never be enough. When Imogen left she texted me to say that she deserved more than this. And she’s right. I can never give you everything you deserve. I’m a farmer in some tiny little village in the middle of nowhere. You’ve been to Hollywood. You’re jetting off to New York in a few months. You have this big glamorous life in London. I can’t compete with that.’
‘I’ve never been interested in a glamorous life and it makes me sad that you would think that of me. In fact, my life of sitting in my pyjamas in my flat, reading my books, making stupid origami animals, and eating a takeaway most nights is as far away from glamorous as humanly possible. I love being an animator but it’s not a glamorous life, working with plasticine models every day, and I can do my job from anywhere in the world – it doesn’t have to be London. What Imogen said to you was horrible, you’re a wonderful and kind man and any woman would be incredibly lucky to have you by their side for the rest of their life. I’m so sorry that your heart has been bruised and hurt in this way, but my heart has been damaged too. The difference is I’m prepared to take a risk again, to give us a chance and maybe we can heal each other. There are no guarantees in love and I can’t promise we will be together forever, fate has a nasty way of interfering just when you think everything is going OK, but surely, it’s worth a shot. We deserve to be happy, you make me happy and that’s all I’d ever want from you. You are enough for me. You. Not Sandcastle Bay.’
‘What are you suggesting? We get married, you move in here? I barely know you.’
He recoiled from the lie. He knew her well enough to know he wanted forever with her. He shook his head at that thought.
‘I fell in love with Imogen so quickly, got caught up in the moment. We were due to marry six months after we first met. I never took the time to get to know her properly. I swore I would never do that again.’
‘I’m not expecting a proposal of marriage here. That’s not what I’m asking. If we have something special, we can make this work. I can visit you, you can visit me. I can rent a house here in Sandcastle Bay for six months, give us a proper chance to see if we really do have something. I’m just asking if you think we have a chance here?’
He stared out of the window. God, he wanted that, to make a life with her here. He would be lying if he said this was anything but casual for him. But could he really trust in what they had? Could he take a risk with his heart?
‘I’m not worth the risk, am I?’ Tori said, quietly. She groaned and let her head fall into her hands. ‘This was never anything serious for you. I’ve done it again, haven’t I? I’ve let myself think this was something more, listened to my heart. I’m such a fool. Every single time I think I can trust someone I get it thrown back in my face.’
It was his turn to get angry now. ‘I’m not like Luc or your dad. But you’ve been carrying this fear that I would let you down since we first met, just waiting for it to happen. You never trusted me and how can I let myself believe in our relationship if you wouldn’t believe in it either?’
‘You gave me nothing to trust,’ Tori said.
‘How can you say that? I got a bloody tattoo with your face on my back just so you wouldn’t feel bad about your own ridiculous tattoo. This relationship has always been way more than just casual, you know that. We had something special. The connection we share when we made love, I’ve never had that with anyone before.’
‘But you’re not willing to take that final step with me.’
He returned his attention back to the window and didn’t speak for the longest time as he tormented himself with the ifs and buts. When he eventually spoke, his voice was thick.
‘If we carry on with this, one or both of us will get hurt. Neither of us wanted to risk that again. Love doesn’t endure, we know that.’
He rounded the corner and saw the heartberry field below them and his heart dropped into his stomach. The far corner, where the river flowed down by the side of the field, had completely flooded. It wasn’t much, maybe twenty or thirty feet had been lost, but that was hundreds of berries and he knew it was going to get a lot worse later when it was high tide.
He glanced across to Orchard Cove and could see the waves crashing right against the boundary of the field. Once it was high tide large parts of that area of the field would be lost too.
‘Shit.’
‘Oh no,’ Tori gasped, as she stared down at the field too.
He quickly drove down the last part of the drive, parked his jeep at the back of the field and got out. Tori was already hurrying out too. The rain lashed against them, soaking their hair to their heads in a
matter of seconds. They would need to start picking the fruit now. They should have come down earlier rather than waiting for sunset, now they’d left it too late.
They hurried into the field, getting soaked. Now they were closer to the sea the wind was roaring around them. They moved quickly to the coastal side of the field that bordered Orchard Cove. The waves were crashing furiously on the very edge of the field, biting at the leaves of the furthest bushes, and it was only a matter of time before the tide brought the sea straight into the field. Aidan knew it would spread quite some way amongst the berries.
His heart sank. Before the sun set later that night, most of the field would be lost underneath the sea.
‘We need to start picking the berries now,’ Tori said, realising the severity of the situation.
He stared at her, stunned that she would push aside their argument for the sake of the berries.
‘We have two hours before most of this field will be underwater,’ Aidan said. ‘We can’t get them all.’
‘We can pick some berries – we will lose some, but we can save some too.’
‘There isn’t time,’ he said, hopelessly.
‘So, what, we just give up?’ Tori said. ‘That’s not who I am. I fight for the things that matter, and this is important, this matters.’
He looked at her, caring so much for these damned berries, and he knew she was right.
He turned away to look at the field. If they were quick, they might be able to do one or two rows before they had to abandon their attempts. It wasn’t enough.
He turned back to face her. ‘We’re going to need some help.’
She nodded. ‘Start picking, I’ll see if I can round up a few hands.’
‘They’ll be in the village hall, celebrating the love festival.’
‘Don’t worry, it will be fine, I promise.’
He couldn’t believe that, but if they got one or two people to help, they could save a few more berries.
She turned and ran towards the gate at the far end of the field that would take her down a little road towards the main part of the village.
In all the hundreds of years the fruit farm had been in his family they had never lost a harvest yet and he wasn’t about to give up now. He turned to the nearest bushes and started picking the berries. He had to trust that she would bring help.
