She was touched by his apparent level of concern for her welfare. ‘Oh, I’ll be fine, Joe. They know what they’re doing. I'll be in the hands of experts.’
He nodded but his lips were pulled into a hard line. ‘All right then… Did you manage to get the equipment you needed?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘I did. Bloody expensive though.’
‘No wonder. Only you could choose the most expensive new hobby going. Couldn't you have gone for...I don't know...crochet, needlework maybe? Even street dance would have been more preferable.’
Stevie laughed. His reaction when he had been asked to keep her new hobby a secret had been pretty much the same. ‘You have obviously never seen me dancing. Anyway, I'm not sixty, you know. And I think it will be fun.’
Joe didn't appear convinced. ‘Hmmm. I hope you're right. Take care, okay?’
‘Will do, see you later. Bye Rowdy.’ She nuzzled the fluffy animal’s fur and then left. She had to be there for six. It was twenty to, and she was leaving home a little later than she had anticipated.
Walking into the community college, she felt like a child on her first day of school. This was a new challenge she had set herself, and in spite of her excitement, she was pretty terrified to say the least. A tall, muscular man with greying hair and tattoos walked towards her.
He smiled warmly. ‘I’m guessing by the terror in your eyes you’re Stevie?’
Stevie grimaced. ‘Oh heck…can you smell fear or something?’
‘Ahhh, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about a thing. Come on over and join the group. We’re having a safety briefing, and then we’ll get cracking…not literally though.’ He chuckled. Oh shitty, shitty, shit. I think I’m having some kind of early mid-life crisis. She glanced around the group and realised, with some dismay, that she was the only woman there. Gulp…come on Stevie…suck it up…it’ll be good for you.
Her first session had been great fun and later that night, she sat reading through the literature she had been handed. Her muscles ached in places she didn’t realise she actually had any. But overall, it had been a fantastic experience. The other guys had been very encouraging and in the end the fact that she was the only woman hadn’t mattered at all. This was the start of a new, independent, fly by the seat of her pants Stevie. A new Do what the hell I want to do and not just what I should do Stevie. So what if people thought she was losing her marbles. She didn’t much care anymore. This was a fresh start. One she desperately needed to make.
The following weekend, Stevie insisted on going shopping with Mollie. She was on a mission. She had no clue why but she knew it was another thing she had to do. A whole new wardrobe. They do call it retail therapy after all!
‘What are we looking for exactly?’ Mollie sighed outside the fitting rooms of yet another shop. ‘It’s not exactly the type of shop you normally frequent, Stevie. I’m beginning to think you’ve lost your marbles.
‘You’ve noticed then? As for what I’m looking for, I think it’s a case of I’ll know it when I see it,’ she shouted through the curtain
‘Can we go for a coffee next? I need a caffeine fix…ooh and a chocolate muffin.’
The two friends left the shop ten minutes later. Stevie was loaded down with several bags. Stevie’s phone rang, and she fumbled and juggled her bags trying to locate it. Eventually Mollie huffed and grabbed her handbag from her, pulled out the errant phone, and handed it to Stevie.
‘Hello?’
‘Oh hello there. May I speak with Stevie Watts please?’
‘Speaking.’
‘Oh hello there. This is Martha Graham. We were wondering if you could come and meet with us on December fifteenth?’
‘Yes, yes that would be fine. What time?’
‘Shall we say one o’clock?’
‘Sounds good. I’ll see you then.’
Stevie hung up the phone, glanced back up at Mollie, who stood with a questioning expression.
Stevie’s cheeks heated. ‘Oh…it was just…it was about getting my name changed back to my maiden name,’ she lied.
Mollie’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. ‘Whatever you say. I know there's something going on, Stevie. You forget how crap at lying you are.’
With a deep sigh Stevie considered her words carefully. ‘I've applied for another job. And that's all I'm saying for now.’
Mollie's eyes widened. ‘What? Why? You've been desperate to get the Head of Science job. Why could you possibly want to leave now?’
‘Because the more I've thought about it the more I've decided it's just not me. It's not what I want. I love teaching. It's what I do best, but from what I can see, the Head of Department role is mainly paperwork, statistics and targets.’
‘You haven't even given it a go yet though, Stevie.’
‘I know. I know, but I need a fresh start. I can't explain it all, Moll, but I just know it's what I need.’
Mollie pouted. ‘You'll still keep in touch though?’
Stevie nudged her. ‘You can't get rid of me that easily, you daft bat.’
Stevie could almost see the questions whirring in her best friend's mind and was relieved when she heard someone call her name. She looked in the direction of the voice and her jaw dropped.
The person before her smiled widely. ‘Hi Stevie, how’ve you been?’
‘Hi, Carrie. I’ve been…fine. You?’
Stevie had lost touch with her very best friend after school and following the disappearance of Jason ten years before. She hadn’t coped well with what had happened and had ended up cutting ties with all of her school friends. It made things easier at the time, but she had missed them terribly.
Especially Carrie.
Carrie nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. ‘Oh, I’m fine. Married now. Got a little boy called Alfie. He’s at nursery.’
Stevie suddenly felt like the universe was conspiring against her, forcing her to face the past at every turn. ‘Oh wow, that’s wonderful. Congratulations. Who did you marry? Anyone I knew?’
‘Yeah actually. Callum and I married. Childhood sweethearts and all that.’ The woman’s face dropped in horror, and her eyes widened as soon as the words had left her lips. ‘Oh gosh, Stevie, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean…oh gosh—’
Stevie held up her hands. ‘Hey, it’s fine. And that’s really lovely. I’m sorry about what happened…you know when we left school. I didn’t cope well with Jason’s disappearance. I hope you can forgive me for breaking contact.’
Carrie’s smile was warm. ‘There’s nothing to forgive. We all got it. We just…we wished you’d have let us be there for you. Did you ever find out what happened to Jason?’
‘As a matter of fact, yes. I found him by accident.’
Carrie’s eyes widened. ‘Oh, my gosh! Is he okay? What the hell happened to him?’
‘He’s fine. It’s a long story, and I don’t feel it’s my place to go into it, but let’s say he had good reason to leave. And I’ve forgiven him.’
‘Are you…you know…back together? Or did you marry someone else?’
‘I did marry, but I’m divorced now. And no, sadly he and I are not back together.’ She dropped her gaze to the floor as she spoke the words. Her heart squeezing in her chest as images of the two of them together flashed cruelly through her mind.
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that…all of it. Look, here’s my card.’ She fumbled in her handbag and handed one to Stevie. ‘I’d love to catch up some time. If you’d like to, that is.’
Stevie glanced at the card. ‘So you’re a physiotherapist, eh? Fantastic.’ She smiled at her old friend, feeling a little sad for the years they had lost. ‘Maybe I’ll give you a call and we’ll catch up.’
‘Okay, great. You look really well, Stevie. It’s been good to see you.’
‘You too. Bye Carrie.’ The two women hugged and went their separate ways. Seeing her old best friend from school only brought more painful memories of Jason flooding to her mind. Why did these things happen at the wo
rst possible times? Her desire to curl up in a ball and cry was almost overwhelming.
As if sensing her distress, Mollie slipped an arm around her shoulder. ‘I think that coffee and cake is called for now. Don't you?’
Stevie nodded and let her friend lead her towards Starbucks.
Chapter Thirty
The start of December was incredibly chilly. Jason knew that things were about to calm down at the camp as they always did in the winter season. The schools wouldn’t put their students through the Scottish sub-zero temperatures, and corporate event attendees preferred the warmer weather too. Wintertime was when he and his staff would make the most of helping out at the local ski resort if the snowfall was sufficient—and it usually was.
Scotland had some of the best slopes in Europe when the snow hit, and the scenery in winter was a stunning sight to behold. The undulating mountains covered in their insulating blanket of white were one of Jason’s favourite vistas. He worked at the ski resort for fun, but the others needed it to top up their income. Plus it meant they could all carry on working together as they dearly loved to do.
He had watched as the relationship between his brother and Dorcas had blossomed into something serious and committed. He was delighted for them. After his advice, Dillon had been very open with Dorcas about the suicide attempt and the fact that he was adopted. Dillon later informed Jason that she had vowed to help him find his birth family, stating that she would love him no matter what. She was so good for him. Jason had thanked her on the sly and told her she’d been the best thing that could’ve happened to Dillon.
He knew that eventually Dillon would announce that he and Dorcas would be moving in together, and it finally happened during the first bitterly cold December week. Jason was very happy for his little brother after all he'd been through. The counselling he’d undergone following what happened had been a great success. He wasn’t seen as a threat to himself from very early on in the process, much to Jason’s relief. He was very fortunate that the assessment had been thorough, and it had been decided that the undue stress of finding out he was adopted had been the reason for his breakdown. Seeing him now in a stable and loving relationship warmed Jason’s heart. But it made him realise what he was missing too.
The staff rallied around the camp, clearing it ready for the annual winter freshen-up. Every cabin would be getting a fresh lick of paint. Even Jason’s cabin was in need of it. But as he stood looking around the place, all he could think about was Stevie. They had made love on the couch, the dining table, the kitchen counter tops, and the floor. Everywhere he looked, he could picture her feminine curves and the red tint to her hair when the sunlight caught it.
I’ve waited for this for ten years, Stevie. I just didn’t realise I was waiting. Ten years I’ve been lost. But now I know where my place is. I know where I belong and that’s inside you. His words echoed around his head as images of her played like a movie on repeat.
Perhaps redecorating and moving things around would help rid him of the memories. Although it was crazy, he felt sure he could smell her perfume in the cabin when he’d returned from Africa. He’d even asked Dorcas if she had changed her perfume, but she hadn’t. The memories were clearly very strong for him.
For the most part, he had been occupied with the last few school parties to visit, and after that, the final corporate event of the year. But whenever he found himself alone in his cabin, especially after Dillon had moved out, he would spend far too much time reminiscing. Music accompanied his melancholy mood swings. The sadder the song, the better. Soon he had the perfect soundtrack to his heartbreak, and torturing himself with it and the images in his mind of his soulmate , Stevie became the double-edged sword of his existence.
After everything he had been through, he still felt there was a huge gaping hole in his soul. The nightmares of being captured and beaten had gone, thankfully. Instead they were replaced with a particular recurring dream.
He opened his eyes to bright light. He was sitting on a blanket at the top of a hill overlooking a loch. Stevie sat before him with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. He glanced around and saw two glasses and a small Champagne bottle. His guitar was in his lap, and he was playing but there was no sound. He stopped playing and looked up to Stevie. He couldn’t see her face as the sun was shining in his eyes, but he knew he was waiting for her to speak. He knew he had asked her a question but couldn’t remember what it was. And every time, right before she answered, he woke up clutching a pillow to his chest.
Sitting on the step to his cabin in the cold December evening air and clutching his hot mug of coffee, he surveyed his land, absorbing all that he had chosen over Stevie. Sarah McLachlan’s ‘I Will Remember You’ drifted through the chilled night and enveloped him in sorrow as the bitter sting of tears became evident to him once again. He closed his eyes and rested his head back. Could he honestly say he had made the right choice? It was doubtful.
Stevie stood at the counter in the motorway service station. She desperately needed the bottle of water that she held in her hand, but the queue was massive and time was a-ticking. She had finally managed to finish the last little notifications of her change of name back to Watts before she set off on her journey. Miles, her ex-husband, had not been pleased about this at all.
‘I don’t see why you would need to change your name back though. You and I are still friends, aren’t we?’ he had asked when he had finally been to collect the last few items that Stevie had been storing for him and he had spotted the Deed Poll application.
‘That’s just it though, Miles. Friendship is all we are ever going to have from now on. And so I want my identity back. It feels right. It’s time to start over. For both of us.’
Miles had sulked and walked out of the house with his box and large bag in a huff. She had simply smiled sweetly and closed the door, happy in the knowledge that she was moving on. All forward motion was good and her life was almost back on track.
Almost.
Tom being in her mum's life was a huge deal too. Stevie was beginning to realise that all the worry about her mother coping alone with Myasthenia Gravis had been a waste of time. Dana was more than capable of looking after herself, lifelong condition or not. Medication was working well for her, meaning that she was leading a full and almost normal life. And Stevie had watched the relationship between her mum and Tom blossoming with a deep-seated happiness and warmth. She could move on. She should've listened to her mum about the whole thing in the first place. Dana had never wanted to be treated differently—hence keeping her condition a secret—but in refusing to leave her, Stevie had been doing just that. She had been unintentionally wrapping her in cotton wool.
Well, no more.
Back in the present, and finally the cashier smiled and scanned the water bottle through the cash register.
‘You look like you need this,’ the cashier said, as she looked Stevie up and down with a grin on her face.
Stevie was aware that her hair was plastered to her head and she maybe didn't look her best. She would have to stop off and freshen up at some point. She paid as quickly as she could and dashed back out of the shop to continue on her way.
‘Hi, big bro. How you doing?’ Dillon asked as he sauntered into Jason’s cabin.
‘I don’t know. I’m a bit down to be honest. I don’t know why it’s getting to me more today.’ He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. ‘But everywhere I look I see her. And I know it’s been ages, but I honestly thought she’d have met me at the airport when I got back, seeing as we landed at Heathrow. I thought maybe what happened to me might have made her change her mind. And the trouble is, I still can’t get her out of my head. Being back home is somehow harder. Not that I want to still be a hostage, don't get me wrong. It’s just that I missed her like crazy when I was away, and from what you said, she was worried and missing me too. I don’t get it.’
Dillon looked sheepish for a second, and Jason frowned wondering why until Dillon finally
spoke. ‘Aw Jace, mate. I wish there was something I could do. I don’t get it either. She was frantic with worry. She knew you were flying into Heathrow, I made sure of it. I don’t know what to think other than now she knows you’re safe she’s letting you go. Getting over her was always going to take time, I guess. But have you thought about calling her?’
‘No point. She’ll have had the interview for Head of Science at some point during the time I was being held, and I reckon she’ll have a lot of work on getting ready for her new role. She may have even started it. I don’t know. Plus I can’t do with the heartache. She chose London and her job last time. I chose Scotland and my business. Then I tried to choose London and Stevie and look where that got me. I’m done. Enough said. I think I can safely say it’s over.’
Silence fell between the brothers for a few minutes until Dillon finally broke it. ‘Oh hey, guess what?’
‘I hope it’s good news whatever you’re going to tell me. I could do with some.’
‘I think it is. I had a call from the estate agents earlier. The offer we made on the other site is being seriously considered again. The other buyers couldn’t get funding through in time so we’re almost good to go for Wild Front Here Too!’ Dillon had been giddy for ages about his idea for the name for the possible second camp. ‘This means I can invest my inheritance in something I actually want and go into partnership with you like we talked about. You were hoping to get the ball rolling on the second camp and now we can.’
‘Awww, Dill, that’s brilliant!’ Jason stood and grappled his brother into a bear hug.
It was getting late, and Dillon and Dorcas were due to set back off to their flat, but Dorcas had insisted on doing a last minute check around the other cabins as she always did. Jason had always joked that she had the classic symptoms of OCD, but whenever he mentioned it he usually received some rude gesture or other.
Reasons to Stay: Reasons Part Two Page 24
