by Lindsey Hart
She could hear her mom in her head, going on and on about how she always got so worked up about the smallest things. Her mom actually had told her that it was possible to have a stroke at any age. Or a heart attack. And then she asked when Ash was ever going to find someone and settle down and have kids. Her mother, who was not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination, no matter how many scraped knees she’d bandaged or how many fevers and belly aches she’d banished, had set in just last week about the whole biological clock. To her twenty-eight-year-old daughter. Clearly, her mom hadn’t got the memo about forty being the new twenty.
Cut it out. Focus. She took a deep breath, the kind from her yoga class that she forced herself to go to once a week. In and out through the nose. Slow. Calm. Feel the earth beneath you… in and out, in and out.
It went to complete shit when she clicked the message and found that it was from him.
The half erotic dream she’d had the night before about those eyes didn’t help matters. Her body responded to his picture, which pierced right through her. If she’d been wearing panties under her long nightgown with the sleepy-looking cat on the front, they would have been soaked. No need to worry about flames or combustion there. The flood would have definitely put it out.
Face on fire, Ash forced herself to calm down and read the message.
“Oh. My. God.” She realized that she was talking out loud. She cast a pointed glance at her cat, who, at fifteen, was sleeping soundly. He was always sleeping. He was fifteen and that was ancient for a cat. She pretended that it was perfectly normal to have a conversation with her sleeping cat. “He messaged me back.” She slammed a finger into the laptop’s screen. “He messaged me back AND he gave me his phone number!”
Slappy- yes that was her cat’s actual name, and no, she wasn’t responsible for it, didn’t move a muscle. She’d adopted him from the shelter two years ago when she was feeling lonely and sorry for herself. She was sure a cat would help. He did. Slappy was awesome. He was mean. Terrifying. A horror at the shelter who hissed and clawed at everyone. The staff felt sorry for him, since, he was brought to the shelter when his elderly owner died of cancer and no one in the family could keep him.
She’d walked in like a conquering hero and asked for the hardest luck case.
She’d walked out with Slappy.
It was love at first sight.
She bribed her way into his heart with a can of tuna, a soft warm bed, and her loving arms. Turns out, that was all the crotchety cat needed. No more hissing. No more clawing. No more slapping.
“Slappy?”
Still no answer.
Ash sighed. “Okay, well, that’s alright. You just keep on sleeping while I get up and do the dishes and my laundry and maybe get us a few groceries so we don’t starve.” She didn’t say the magic word. She wouldn’t tempt him with tuna since it worked every single time. She had none in the pantry and didn’t want to disappoint the old guy.
She was half out of bed before she paused.
“Do you think I should call him?”
Slappy’s side rose and fell. Rose and fell. Rose and fell. He let out a little cat snore, oblivious to her plight.
“I should probably wait until this afternoon, just so I don’t look desperate. Isn’t that right?”
Slappy actually flicked his tail in response. It was probably just a random sleep twitch, but she was enthralled as if her cat had suddenly started talking, giving her magical dating advice.
Not that she was really dating. This would just be… like a business thing. A friendly thing. It would be fake because they’d need to get right down to business and discuss things her fake boyfriend would already know about her. Know and love. God, he’d be wild for her. He’d love that her blonde hair was unruly and more knotted than it was curly. He’d love that her hips were a little too wide and her ass impossible to hide in any pair of pants. He’d love that she was tall and awkward, but also somehow looked like a woman with breasts that always got in the way. He was a man. Of course, he loved that, fake or not. He’d love that she hated makeup, that she hated being girly, that she detested shopping.
And most of all, he’d share a love for hot, kinky, cosplay sex.
Okay… well- maybe it was best to come up with something better than that. Fake or not, it was embarrassing even thinking about her fantasies. He’d share a love of comics and board games. There. And also for hot, kinky comic character, role-playing sex.
“Yeah, I wish.”
Ash rolled her eyes. She grabbed for her cell, which was on the nightstand. She flicked it on and rolled her eyes when she saw the text from her mother.
ARE YOU STILL ALIVE? YOU HAVEN’T TEXTED ME FOR TWO DAYS.
There was an hour-long pause, then…
MAYBE YOU’RE ON A DATE. IF YOU’RE ON A DATE, THEN I’M PROUD OF YOU. I’LL EXCUSE YOU FOR NOT ANSWERING ME BACK. IF YOU’RE NOT THOUGH, YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. TALK TO YOUR MOTHER BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE AND REPORT YOU MISSING.
“She wishes I was on a date. She always wishes I was on a date. Always with the dating. Won’t she be surprised?” Her mom and dad didn’t live in Twin Falls anymore, named for the tiny creek that cuts through the town, no visible falls in sight, but maybe she’d be able to kill two birds with one stone.
She couldn’t wait to call. She had no experience with being calm and cool and collected. She had even less experience being coy or flirty or making it look like she wasn’t desperate. She wasn’t into games. He’d read her message. He already knew what she wanted. He’d given her the number…
She didn’t know how to be anything other than who she was. A small-town girl with a big heart.
“A girl who loves cats.” Slappy still didn’t move. She turned to her cactus on the windowsill. It was growing in one of those terrarium things. It had been crazy expensive, but she was a sucker for a plant with a pretty face and that pink flower blossoming out of the little spiky stalk definitely counted. “And plants.” The rest went without saying. “And I’m going to rock this call. I’m going to take those sexy blue eyes back home to Twin Falls. And back to my mother. And I’m going to do it now!”
Slappy raised his head and stared at her out of narrowed green-yellow eyes.
“Sorry.” Ash blushed. “I didn’t mean to get so excited. Just needed a little early morning pep-talk. That’s all.”
He glared at her for daring to disturb his nap, then settled his head back on marmalade colored paws and went back to sleep.
Ash’s shaking hands flew over her phone, typing out a text to her mother. Telling her she was indeed on a date and was sorry she hadn’t been near her phone.
It went without saying that she obviously had better, sexier things to do.
She typed in Mr. Nightshadow’s number with shaking fingers. She didn’t have to look it up. It was burned into her memory. Just like his eyes. And his abs.
Just like his voice would forever be, because she’d never, ever, be able to get that deep, sexy, smoky, mystic, panty-dropping hello out of her mind.
CHAPTER 5
Trace
“So, you like villains? Is that because they’re tall dark and handsome?” Yup. He’d really started off their date that wasn’t a date, with the world’s worst one-liner.
The little café on the east side of the city was inconspicuous. It was the same as the last thirty he’d passed on his forty-minute drive there. He wasn’t complaining.
The place was packed and when he walked in, no one recognized him.
No one but the one girl he wanted to.
She was wearing a red plaid button-up shirt and jeans like she’d told him on the phone she’d be since she wasn’t easily recognizable from that side profile picture on the dating site.
He’d slid in seamlessly across from her since she was there waiting when he arrived. She’d picked a table near the front, though he wasn’t sure if it was because she liked to look out the window or because there was nowhere else to sit given the Sunday afterno
on crowds were in full swing, laptops, novels, tablets, whiny kids, and all. The roar of conversation swirled around the small shop, competing with the hiss of the machinery, the frantic steps of the baristas trying to keep up, and some acoustic version of a rock song playing overhead from crackly speakers.
“Ahhhh….” Ash fumbled around, at a loss for words. A bright pink blush flooded her cheeks.
She’d ordered for him, which Trace found… well, he found that he felt a lot of things about that. He eyed his drink, mortified that he’d ruined the date before it even started. He cleared his throat.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I- sorry. That was incredibly rude and I’m an idiot. The truth is, you’re beautiful and I’m a mess and a dork and I said the first dumb thing that came to mind. It was a terrible ice breaker.”
He’d expected this shy, geeky, sandy blonde-haired girl with no confidence, pretty but unaware of it, straight teeth since she’d mentioned braces, possible thick glasses, maybe a few lingering pimples she tried to cover up with makeup…
The bombshell sitting across from him wasn’t any of those things. She was beautiful with shining green eyes, long naturally curly blonde hair, a killer body with great boobs and probably a great ass, if she’d stand up and show him. She sat tall and straight and without a stitch of makeup, she was flawless. Nice, creamy skin, high cheekbones, a dainty jawline, a straight little nose, long lashes, full peach-hued lips. God, she was so beautiful she was intimidating.
How the hell did this girl think she was geeky? And more importantly, how the hell did this girl not have a real boyfriend to take her to that reunion she was so afraid of?
Ash, because she was graceful as hell and even more gracious, inclined her head and her gorgeous lips curled up in a smile that hit him right below the belt. His cock turned his jeans into a damn campground. As in, filled with tents. Haha. I suck at jokes. And humor. And wit.
“It’s alright. I’m nervous too. That message I sent you wasn’t normal. I’m surprised you even agreed to come.” Her eyes flicked from his face down to the cup in front of him. “I hope you don’t mind that I got you a drink. The lines were crazy when I got here and I thought that even if I ordered something you hated, you might hate it less than waiting half an hour jammed up into someone’s back with someone else’s purse or laptop jammed into your behind.” She grinned confidently at him, though he didn’t miss the shy flicker of her eyelashes down to her own paper cup.
So, she is nervous. He expelled a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “What is it? What kind of drink do you think Mr. Nightshadow prefers?”
Ash giggled. She had a pretty laugh, just like her voice. He couldn’t believe she’d called him. First thing in the morning. Not that nine was early but given that he’d sent her his message at four in the morning, nine was early. Of course, he was awake. He thought she’d be too afraid to call. When she did, he realized she was probably pretty desperate for that fake boyfriend.
Except she didn’t sound desperate then and she didn’t seem desperate now. Oddly enough, she sat there across from him like an old friend and her presence was strangely comforting. He felt like he’d known her for ages, maybe like that best friend that he’d had when he was nine. James’ family moved away down south, and he never saw him again. It felt like that. Reconnecting.
Except that Ash was no James. No, she was very womanly and very pretty.
“Mr. Nightshadow,” she said, rolling the syllables off her tongue before she licked her lips to wet them. His dick hardened. Was it wrong that he liked the way his fake online name sounded from her lips? “Can I call you that from now on? I was thinking maybe I could introduce you to my mom that way. And my old classmates. I think they’d like that. Maybe we could get you a mask and a costume.” She grinned wide, revealing perfectly straight white teeth.
“Your mom?” He feigned horror. “I didn’t know I’d be signing on for that as well.”
Ash shrugged, but her hands moved away from her drink and disappeared into her lap. She was probably clutching them, which was also a dead giveaway that she was anxious.
“Well, you don’t have to. I just- I thought it would be nice to stop in for an hour or two one day before the reunion. My parents don’t live there. They live here. In St. Paul. The reunion is in Twin Falls. Population five thousand, middle of nowhere, forty minutes from here. Uh- that is- if you’re going to do this. Be a fake boyfriend. I had no idea you’d actually answer the message. I haven’t exactly figured out a way to- uh- go about this. I should have a plan. Ground rules. Facts about ourselves so we can memorize them, a timeline, uh- all that shit- I mean, stuff.” She blinked hard and took a breath. Her smile wavered and her eyelashes fluttered hard like she was going to cry.
Trace knew he had to act fast. He was not going to let her cry over this. He didn’t know why, but suddenly, his entire life depended on fixing this beautiful woman’s problems. She really had no idea, he realized, as she studied him, that she was incredible. She was still trapped in that version of herself from high school, where asshole classmates obviously made her feel like shit about herself.
He’d spent his entire life proving to people he wasn’t that pathetic little kid anymore with the ripped clothes and the shoes his toes stuck out of.
He got Ash. He got her in a way that few people probably could. Sticks and stones could very well break bones, but the rest was all fucking wrong. Words could cripple a person for a lifetime.
“Don’t worry,” he assured her seamlessly, though he had no idea what he was actually in for. “I’m in. I’m not going to back out. Your message was quite thorough.”
Ash’s cheeks heated. “Oh god. I- it was late. Early. I don’t know. I’m not usually so weird.”
“No. I liked it. Do you ever write? If you don’t, you should.”
Her cheeks turned a bright shade of scarlet, though Trace wasn’t sure what he’d said wrong. She ducked her head and took a sip of her drink. He decided to do the same.
“Tell me you didn’t spike this,” he chuckled. He had to say something to fix whatever he’d just blundered into.
Ash’s head shot up. “No. I didn’t spike it. It’s a chai tea latte because I thought Mr. Nightshadow would like a drink like him. Creamy, smooth, spicy undertones. Mysterious.” She crooned the whole thing in a deep, sexy voice that was entirely captivating and made his balls ache. She leaned back and gave a nervous laugh. “I’m kidding. Sorry. I shouldn’t make crazy jokes in the first ten minutes of you meeting me. You’ll really wonder what you got yourself into. I got you the chai tea because it’s the only thing here that I know for a fact is good. I’m very boring. I don’t come to these things often since the drinks are way overpriced, but when I do, it’s a treat and I never risk getting something I won’t like, so I get the same thing every single time.”
“Smooth and spicy.” Trace raised his paper cup in a mock toast. “I’ll drink to that.”
Ash went a ridiculous shade of red again, but she didn’t hide her head. She kept her eyes trained on him. He took a sip of the drink, which had cooled to the perfect temperature while it awaited his arrival and savored the play of spices and sweetness over his tongue.
“Good?”
“It is good. I’ve never had one before.”
“You’ve never had a chai tea latte?” Ash’s beautiful lips parted. God, he wanted to grab her and taste those lips. Force his tongue inside her mouth and stroke it in the most sexual way… as if there was any other way.
This is supposed to be fake here. She knows that, but then again, it doesn’t mean it can’t turn out to be something real. He’d seen enough cheesy romances to know how this fake boyfriend, fake fiancé crap went. Boy and girl hung out. Hooked up. Had a fight. Made up. Happy ending. Every single time. He wasn’t even a romantic and he knew the deal.
He wouldn’t mind having the same ending.
Then he could buy his private island and become a happy hermit with a happy hermit wife. He wasn
’t against love. He was more against romance. He was against the bullshit that came along with it, but this whole fake boyfriend shit really cut to the chase.
It put him exactly where he wanted to be. Which was why he agreed. Of course, Ash could learn that later. Because he already knew that she was perfect. She was funny, beautiful, witty, well-spoken. And sexy as hell. She was one sweet package, wrapped up in layers of insecurity.
He’d love to be the one to break through those layers and teach her just how incredible she was. Show her just how sexy… That is going to have to wait. Business and pleasure never mix well. Business first. Pleasure second.
Unless he found a way to combine them together.
CHAPTER 6
Trace
“Uhhh…. Are you still here with me?”
Trace snapped out of his thoughts. “Sorry. Long night.” He ran a hand through his hair.
Ash’s face fell and he realized she’d obviously misinterpreted what he’d just said. “I- look, it’s okay if you have someone else on the side. Or others. This is fake. You don’t owe me anything. You’re doing me this incredible favor, why I have no idea, but honestly, I have to say, you’re my savior at the moment. I haven’t got to the part where I grovel and thank you, but I’ll skip to it. Thank you. Thank you, a thousand times. You’re a good man with a heart of gold. All your wishes will come true. You’ll be blessed for eternity. All of that stuff.”
“You missed the part about sparkly rainbow unicorn poop.”
“What?” Ash stopped in her tracks. She slammed a hand over her mouth and let out a muffled snort of laughter when her eyes tracked to his face.
“Sorry.” Trace laughed. “It’s an inside joke. Between my four-year-old niece and me. She’s really into the unicorn craze right now. Her birthday came complete with a unicorn piñata that sprayed out oodles of sprinkles and candy when it was bashed open. Hell for her parents to clean up, but they sucked it up for her. And as for seeing anyone else, I’m not. That’s not what I meant by a long night. I just- haven’t been sleeping well.”
