I couldn't speak.
Couldn't breathe.
I was rendered helpless.
Weston strolled towards me, a slight curve on his lips. Time once again slowed still; each second felt like a lifetime of memories, of lies, of tears, of a future we never got. His cologne smacked me in the face and all the emotions came snowballing. I wanted to kiss him, tell him I still loved him. I wanted to go back in time and repeat everything we had all over again. I wanted those four years back with him. Except this time, I would tell him about Lyra. I would bellow that I was pregnant. Things would be different.
That was the kind of power he had over me.
But I couldn’t change time. I couldn’t do it all over again.
“Hey, stranger,” he whispered mere inches away from me.
My skin tingled as his breath fanned my face. “Hi.” My voice was barely a whisper. Weston wrapped his arms around my body. Could you fall in love all over again in a matter of seconds? My heart ached. What I wouldn’t do to change the past.
His head rested on the side of mine as he tightened his arms. His lungs filled with air as he smelled the crook of my neck. I couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped my lungs.
Love. It’s a poison that never leaves your soul.
He was my poison.
He owned my soul.
Every fiber in my heart belonged to this man. It had taken me years to get over him, but now, being in his presence, I was madly in love again. Still…
Brian cleared his throat and the bubble around us suddenly popped. I remembered I wasn’t alone, having a reunion with the love of my life. I was at work. I reluctantly pulled away and nervously brushed my hair behind my ears. “I guess you guys know Emilia pretty well,” Brian joked, and it seemed to break the tension in the air.
“You could say that.” Weston winked at me. I bowed my head as my cheeks burned from the heat he always caused in me. A few hours ago Jeremy was proposing, and now I was back in love with Weston.
This couldn’t be happening.
Brian pulled a chair out for me and we all sat around the conference room table. I’d forgotten this was a meeting. My world had shifted on its axis. I gazed down at the glass tabletop as Brian explained in detail exactly what SoCal would be doing for Pointless Statement. Brian also addressed the list of requirements Paulie insisted the band needed.
As Brian spoke, my mind spun like a top. I was going to be in contact with Weston a lot—a whole freaking lot. I had a kid with this man and he didn't even know. How the hell was I going to live a double life?
Once Brian finished with his introductions and his long list of conditions from Paulie, he ushered the guys out of the conference room to meet the rest of the staff. I scurried back to my office; I needed a few minutes to gather my thoughts… and to breathe.
I pulled a water bottle out of my purse and noticed I had a missed text message from Jeremy.
Jeremy: Hope you have a great first day. Love you!
Jeremy loved me; he loved my daughter as his own. He’d asked me to marry him, asked to adopt my daughter, and yet I was still hung up on a relationship that had ended four years ago. I pressed my fingers to my temples, slowly circling them to control the impending migraine.
Karma.
This was fucking karma.
A soft tap on my door distracted me from my meditation. Axel stood on the other side of my office, a boyish grin on his face. “You okay, Em?” he asked.
“I wish I had picked up your phone call.” I crossed my arms over my desk and rested my head.
“I figured this would be a shock to you.” I lifted my head at the sound of his footfalls. He lowered onto the chair opposite me.
“How did you even know I worked here?”
“You ran into Sally about a month back.” Axel shrugged.
“Dammit!”
It was the day I’d interviewed with SoCal. I was on my way to meet with Brian when I’d noticed I had a run in my stocking, so I’d quickly stopped at a pharmacy near Yorks and picked up another pair. I was checking out when I’d bumped into her. She stood behind me in line, with condoms and a pregnancy test in her hands. Her eyebrows shot up when she saw me and she'd seemed uncomfortable, so I’d begun to ramble that I was on my way to a job interview and had to change my stockings in a public bathroom. Sally had seemed relieved to be talking about anything except the EPT box she was holding.
“Dammit. Dammit! I assume she told you, and you told Weston.” I banged my head on the hard surface. “Why didn't you call me sooner?” I looked back up at him.
“I didn't say anything, babe.” Axel raised his hands in the air to show his innocence. “I found out this morning that we were coming here. I didn't even know Weston was still trying to put the band back together after Harry's death. I thought we were done. We couldn’t replace him, not to mention, the contract we had with North Records.” I looked at Axel with a puzzled look on my face. “Weston was able to find a loophole and get us out of that deal. We wasted four years with that label.”
“That bad, huh?” I was curious. I’d always had an inkling something seemed off with how quickly that deal was thrown together.
“It was bloody awful. We signed our life away to North Records. We paid for our own studio time. We had the album ready but they refused to promote us, and because we were in contract for five albums, there was nothing we could do to get out. We didn’t have the money to buy out our rights.”
“What was the loophole?” I asked.
“Harry.” My eyebrows furrowed. “We were signed as Elephant Room, the four of us including Harry. Without Harry, the contract was null and void. It was Weston who figured it out. We lost the rights to some of the songs we had already recorded, but at least now we’re actually being played on the radio.” A smile grew on Axel’s face.
“That's great, Ax.”
“These last few months, we've been busy. We were picked up by another label, we added Travis to the group, and our song is getting airtime.”
“But you know that doesn’t explain how Weston found out I worked here.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I was drunk one night and mentioned to him that Sally saw you. We’d been celebrating our recent success when I brought up your name. I guess I was drunker than I realized.”
“It’s okay. I’m happy you guys are doing so well.”
“Thanks. I only wish Harry were here to see it.” Sorrow grew in his eyes.
“I know.” My voice was low.
He cleared his throat. “London was hard for him. It was hard for all of us, especially Weston.” I wasn’t ready to hear about Weston.
“Not now, Axel.”
“You never want to talk about him.”
“Nope,” I began to organize my organized desk, “I don't.” I was so busy making sure my stapler and paper clips were aligned that I didn’t notice Pete and Weston had appeared. I thanked my lucky stars I hadn’t put Lyra’s picture up on my empty bookshelf.
“We’re heading out,” Pete said. I waved goodbye.
Axel leaned across my desk and kissed my cheek. “I'll see you later.” I nodded. He walked out down the hallway with Pete.
Weston lingered by the door for a few long seconds. His eyes were glued to mine, and a sideways grin tugging on his cheek as he muttered, “Alrighty then.”
Fucker.
I walked into my house and headed towards the kitchen. I was drained and exhausted. As I dropped my purse on the kitchen counter, I saw Jeremy feeding Lyra her afternoon snack. He’d made a fort out of her apples and goldfish crackers.
“No, Jeremy,” she said before taking a handful of goldfishs.
All I’d wanted to do was protect her. I kept her from her father to ensure she never had the life that I had, yet it killed me she had no idea who he was. Being with Jeremy was a smart decision. We could grow old together, we could be happy. And though I knew I’d never love him the way I love Weston, I loved him enough to spend the rest of my life
with him.
“Hey, honey. How was your first day?” He beamed up at me. Lyra tossed a goldfish in his direction, and I snickered. This was what I needed. Lyra needed. A normal life. Not a life on the road.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Yes?”
“Yes. My answer to your question this morning is yes. I'll marry you.” Tears flooded my eyes.
Jeremy sprinted towards me. His hands wrapped around my waist and he lifted me off the floor. Twirling us around, Jeremy kissed my cheek, my neck. “Yes,” he said into my hair. “You said yes.”
Setting me on the floor, he ran back to Lyra, who gaped at us as if we had grown extra heads. Removing her from her booster seat, he threw her in the air and caught her. “Your mama said yes!” he repeated over and over. Lyra laughed along with me as Jeremy twirled and kissed the top of her head.
With my little girl in his arms, he walked back towards me. “We need to celebrate. Why don't we all go to Max's?”
“Why don't I call Ellen? I'll ask her to stay with Lyra for a bit.” I touched my finger to her nose.
“Ellen!” Lyra shouted.
Ellen was our sweet, older neighbor who loved watching Lyra, and Lyra loved her for the cookies and cake she would buy.
Jeremy leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “That sounds perfect.”
Max had transformed his taco truck into a Zagat rated restaurant on Venice beach, but he hadn’t changed his menu, so it was still simple, quick and delicious. I first brought Jeremy to Max’s after he’d moved from the truck. It felt awkward bringing him to the same spot on the beach I shared with Weston, but this restaurant was a place for me and Jeremy.
Thankfully, we arrived before the dinner rush. The hostess greeted us by name. After we sat and ordered tacos and drinks, I reached across the wooden table for Jeremy's hands. A full smile had been plastered on his face since I said yes. He coiled his fingers with mine and kissed my knuckles.
“Oh!” He released my hand and dug into his pocket. “I've been so elated, I forgot to give you your ring.” He took the platinum diamond ring and slid it onto my ring finger.
It was like I was kicked in the gut. My engagement ring rested alongside the ring Weston had given me. The ring I refuse to take off. I looked at my hand; it was my past and future. My mind couldn’t push away Weston's words. As long as you wear it, I'll know you still have faith in us.
“You okay?” Jeremy asked.
“It's beautiful.” I swallowed back my tears and held up my hand for him.
The waiter returned with our food. I lifted my soft fish taco to my mouth and my eyes locked with Weston’s.
Filho da Puta. Son of a bitch.
Of course he was here. A smile grew on his face as he walked towards me, but he wasn't alone; his hand was braided with that of a female, a petite brunette with radiant skin and a summer glow. Her hair had been blown out and waves draped over her shoulder. I was instantly jealous.
“Emilia,” Weston greeted me. His voice was chipper. “Twice in one day.”
“Weston.”
“Weston Carter.” He turned towards Jeremy and extended his free hand.
“Jeremy Pierce,” Jeremy said in a stern voice and shook his hand.
“My fiancé,” I added, and turned to face Jeremy. His face lit up with love.
“Oh.” Weston's voiced dropped.
“How do you know Emilia?” Jeremy asked Weston.
“He's my client. Well, the band he’s in,” I answered for him. Weston narrowed his eyes at me. That was all Jeremy needed to know.
“Weston? Oh, Pointless Statement.” Jeremy nodded slowly. “Yes, now I remember the name. You guys are all over the radio. Do you come here often?” Of course my sweet fiancé was making nice with my ex.
“When I lived in LA, but I’ve spent the past four years in London.” Weston glanced away from Jeremy and then over to me. “I came here when it was just a grease truck, though. I think the tacos are better when you’re sitting down by the beach.”
Asshole!
“Hi, I'm Chelsea,” the brunette introduced herself to me when Weston didn’t seem to remember she was standing next to him. “Congratulations!” She reached for my left hand. I wanted to tug it away, but it would only add to the awkwardness. “Oh, Wes! Look how beautiful.” She held my hand for him. Weston’s eyes looked at my hand and then back up to me.
“Your table is ready, sir.” The hostess interrupted and I pulled my hand away.
“It was nice meeting you both. Congratulations.” Chelsea smiled. It was hard not to like her; she seemed to be a genuine, sweet person.
“Alrighty then.” Weston met my gaze before walking away from my table.
“He seems like a nice guy,” Jeremy said before he reached down to take another bite of his fish taco.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Must be pretty awesome to get to work with them. They're really hitting mainstream.”
I reached my hand across the table. “Honey, we’re here to celebrate us, not to talk about my work.”
“Of course.” He grasped my hand and kissed my palm.
Jeremy and I enjoyed our dinner, followed by dessert. I could sense that Weston was near us, but I was lucky enough that the waiter sat them behind me so I wasn’t constantly sneaking glances at him. I didn't change how I spoke to Jeremy; I didn't act any differently because the last thing I wanted was to give Jeremy any inkling that there was something between me and Weston. Before the waiter returned with the check, Jeremy excused himself to use the bathroom. I took my phone from my purse to see if Ellen had called about Lyra, but my phone vibrated in my hands as a new incoming text message popped open.
Unknown Number: He seems like a nice guy.
Before I had the chance to even question how he’d got my number, another text message came in.
Unknown Number: Though I must admit, I prefer the other ring on your hand.
My hands shook as I texted him back.
Me: How did you get my number?
Unknown Number: You're my publicist. I need to contact you if I need anything.
Me: Do you need anything?
I added his number to my phone.
Weston: No.
I should have stopped myself, but my fingers texted without my permission.
Me: Chelsea seems nice.
Weston: She is. She doesn't have many dents.
Before I could even reply another text message came in.
Weston: But she's not yellow gel.
My heart ached. I locked my phone and looked up. Jeremy was walking toward me. “Sorry I was gone so long. I took care of the check. Everything all right?” He reached for my hand as I stood.
“Yeah, I'm just tired.” I laced my arm around his lower back and we strolled toward the exit. I didn’t look back. I had made my decision to be with Jeremy.
The emotional roller coaster had to stop.
38
WESTON
My world had turned upside down, and everything was a mess.
Harry's death was a horrific tragedy that wrecked us all. The worst part was that it was also our only saving grace to get out of the contract with North Records.
At first, we had all decided it was best that we quit and put the band behind us. The guys felt like lost souls unsure of where their paths would take them. And a part of me felt the same. Music didn’t live in my soul anymore. Music, songs, and lyrics, to me had died four years ago when I’d lost Emilia. But the ache in my chest insisted that I give it everything I had left, which wasn’t much, but it meant I couldn’t quit.
I’d give one last push.
One final try.
When I told the guys what I thought, they agreed. North Records had signed us as a group and not as individuals, so we agreed to start a new band. Axel quickly jumped at the opportunity, and Pete was right behind him. It was a blessing in disguise, we could start fresh. It would be hard to get back to what we once were, but it was worth a shot. We were worth
the shot.
We got to work right away with a new bandmate, Travis, who Pete had known from high school. We put out a new song and were quickly picked up by a real label in Los Angeles that would let us do music our own way. It was a dream come true.
But the best part of all this was that it led me back to Emilia.
So many doors had to close for me to make it back to her. Each one so painful it almost broke me completely. But I was home now, and standing in front of Emilia, my chest beating like I was alive after being gone for so many years.
She was more beautiful than I remembered if that was even possible. Her crimson hair was longer than before, and she looked like a beautiful woman, not the young girl who had broken my heart.
I'd caught her off guard when we showed up at her office. Thanks to Axel who still kept in touch with her, I was able to track her down. It was priceless to see her reaction when she saw us. The best part, though, was when our eyes connected. I swore I felt the floor shake as our love radiated around us. And hell, I knew she felt it too. Feelings that strong don’t just die. They get locked away in your heart, in a place so deep, your mind can’t remember the pain. But the feelings, though buried, never completely disappear. They stay with you, forever.
The best part was that I had the upper hand at our meeting. She wasn’t prepared to see me, so I had won that battle, surprising her at work after four years apart. But little did I know she had already won the war when I saw her at Max's, with her fiancé. Naturally, the guy looked like a fucking tool. He wasn’t good enough for her. No one would ever be good enough. Some days I wasn’t even sure I made the cut. But I had won her heart once before, and I planned to do it again. He wasn’t her husband, and they weren’t married yet. I still had time to convince her of our love.
And I knew down to the ribs caging my beating heart that she still loved me. Mama's ring was still wrapped around her finger. Emilia wasn’t over us, even if she tried to convince herself otherwise. She was my yellow gel, and there was nothing her fiancé could do to stop me from winning back what was mine. Souls always had a way of coming back to their other half. And that’s what she was, the other half of me, my heart, my whole goddamn soul.
Love Letter Duet: The Encore Edition Page 21
