by Jenika Snow
She glanced down at her hand, and he lifted it and pulled the corner of the bandage up.
“I found the gauze in the bathroom. When I accidently knocked over the pot when cleaning off the machine, and bent down to pick it up, I cut myself on the broken glass.” She hissed out when he turned her hand to look at the other side. “I think I got all the glass out, but it still hurts pretty bad.”
“You might need stiches, Cinder,” he said and looked at her. “Come on, I have a bag in my office. I can tend to this.” He helped her up and led her out of the lounge and into his office. “Have a seat.”
She sat down on the small couch in the corner, and he went over to his closet that held an extra medical bag. He kept it in there for emergencies, and even if he didn’t actually see patients here, he kept medical supplies at all of his places. It was smart that way, and he was a doctor, so pretty common practice. After he got the bag and moved toward her again, sat in front of her, and got some supplies out of the leather case, he took her hand in his. He removed the bandage, tossed it into the wastepaper basket beside him, and looked at the wound.
“Is it bad?” she asked and looked at him. He stared at her face, saw the softness of her cheekbones, of her pink, bow-like lips which were slightly parted, and of the light sprinkling of freckles along the bridge of her nose. She was certainly beautiful, definitely vulnerable, and he ached for her. God, did he ache for this woman he didn’t even know.
He glanced at her wound again and shook his head. “Not bad enough that you need stitches.” He started cleaning it, grabbed a pair of tweezers to get the few pieces of glass slivers out, then applied some antibiotic ointment on it. Once a clean bandage was on and taped in place, he held her hand for a moment and stared at her face.
“I really am sorry about the coffee pot. It looked expensive, and you can deduct the cost out of my pay.”
He shook his head before she finished. “I’m not worried about the coffee pot, Cinder. I’m just glad the cut wasn’t as bad as I feared.” He started rubbing his thumb back and forth over her wrist, then tore his gaze from her face and stared at her hand. The long-sleeve shirt she wore was pushed slightly up, and when he moved the material of her sleeve up a bit more, the sight of a burn caught his eye. It was small and circular, most likely from a cigarette, and the anger he felt inside of him swamped him instantly. She snatched her hand away and held her arm close to her body.
“I’m sorry again about the machine. I should probably clean up the rest of the mess.” She went to stand, but he reached out, took her wrist, and held her in an immobile hold. Cinder looked a little surprised as she stared at where he held her, then lifted her gaze to his face. He shouldn’t have stopped her, and shouldn’t have tried to comfort her, but that was what he was about to do. This woman was abused and held wounds on the outside, if not on the inside of her body as well.
He could see her shame written on her face, and wished he could take it away from her. Slowly standing, yet keeping his hold on her hand, he pulled her closer. Only a few inches separated them, and the scent of her filled his nose. It was clean and fresh, and so damn intoxicating he didn’t hold in his groan this time.
“Doctor Prince, what are you doing?” she said in a soft, almost breathless voice.
“Call me Ryder, Cinder,” he looked at her mouth, saw the way she ran her tongue along her bottom lip, and felt his pulse increase. “I need you to call me Ryder.” Maybe he was playing with fire, not only going against his own policy of not fraternizing with an employee, but also knowing she probably had her own demons to fight. “I ‘m doing something that may be wrong, but feels right.” He stared into her blue eyes, pulled her closer to his chest, and felt the sweet-smelling breath leave her and cover his neck. Sliding his hand up her back, over her neck, and to the back of her head, he tangled his hands in the soft strands of her hair. Tilting her head back, Ryder took in the pulse point that beat frantically at the base of her throat.
“Ryder…” She said his name again, breathy and soft, and doing something wicked to him. She wasn’t leaving, wasn’t pushing him away, and by the way she used her other hand to clench at his shirt, Ryder knew Cinder was right there with him. They were both on this ledge of arousal, neither moving right away, but also not wanting to stop this.
“I don’t want to push anything on you, but Cinder, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since you came into my office.” Ryder wasn’t going to force a kiss on her, wasn’t going to make her want something she didn’t, but she was right here with him. Cinder held onto him, stared at his face, and breathed out faster, harder, as if she were on the ledge right with him. Holding onto him for support. And he wasn’t about to let her go, not when she was the first woman to make him feel this way.
Chapter Four
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Cinder couldn’t catch her breath, couldn’t even focus on anything aside from Ryder holding her close to his hard, defined body. She had one hand on his shirt, gripping the material tightly between her fingers. His hand was on her wrist, and his other one was in her hair, tangled in strands tightly, securely.
“Ryder, what is this?” Oh, she knew what was happening, or at least she knew what she felt. The way he looked at her, held her, told Cinder that this wasn’t a man trying to calm her, that knew she had scars on her arm, or was just being a good doctor. He wasn’t a man that felt sympathy for her, and although maybe she needed that in her life, she also didn’t want it. Cinder had never seen herself in this situation, hadn’t thought she would want a man to hold her like this, look at her with such desire. But Ryder was doing all of those things and more, and the tingling in her body intensified the longer he held her. Maybe she should move way, just walk away from this embrace and never look back. But for the first time in her shitty life, she felt like someone cared about what happened to her. He stared at her mouth, and she felt him move his fingers along her hand.
“I want to kiss you, Cinder,” he said in a deep, soft voice. He slowly moved his gaze up to her eyes, stared at her for a second, and she felt like she was tilting on this axis and Ryder was the only one holding her up. “I want to kiss you really damn badly.”
She wanted that, too, but was afraid to say the words. In all honesty, she had never voluntarily kissed a man, never consented to giving herself to someone of her own free will. It had always been taken from her, and she had kept a part of herself away, detached from the situation because it was safer that way. But right now, she wanted to give herself to Ryder, wanted to show him she was the one who wanted this as well. He had seen her scars no doubt, yet he hadn’t questioned her about them. Would he? Maybe, but right now this was just about them, a kiss hanging perilously close between them.
She nodded once, not able to find her voice, but seeing the realization that he knew she was agreeing to kiss him. It was a dilation of his pupils, the way he breathed harder, faster, and the fact he was staring at her mouth again. She licked her lips, finally finding the words she wanted to say. “I want this, Ryder. I want you to kiss me.”
He was doing just that as fiercely as she wanted. His lips were smooth, firm, and he took possession of the kiss in a sweeping motion of his tongue along her lips, and of pressure from his mouth. His hand in her hair tightened in the strands gently, securely, and for the first time in her life she felt this wave of desire, want, need, and comfort all swamp through her.
“Is this okay?” he asked as he broke away from her.
“Yes,” she whispered, and leaned up to kiss him this time. Their tongues touched tentatively at first. He molded his body to hers, pressing the hardness of his muscles to her softness. She started to feel weightless as he moved his lips and tongue on hers, caressing her to the point she felt wetness slip out of her. She was aroused, wanting to do so much more with him, but she broke away, breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry,” he said on a breath. His mouth was red, slightly parted and wet from their kiss. Did hers look that way? “Was that too fast, too much?”
<
br /> She touched her lips with a finger, felt the pain in her hand start to become apparent again, and heat spread through her. How could she have kissed him? Despite how much she wanted to, and how good it made her feel, she was damaged, had only been in the state for a very short time, and he was her employer. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I’ve got to go.” She turned and headed out of the office, trying to block out the sound of his voice as he called for her.
She grabbed her coat and purse, hit the button on the elevator, and prayed it would come quickly because she felt like an ass. She wanted him, had thought about Ryder since the interview a week ago, but she was trying to make herself survive in this city, have a new life, and having a forbidden office romance probably wasn’t a good start. The doors opened, and she stepped inside, her heart pounding. Before she could even press the ground floor button, he was moving into the elevator with her. She pressed her back to the wall, stared up at him, and wanted so badly to just go into his arms.
“Dammit, Cinder, please don’t run off,” he said in a desperate, almost pleading tone. He was such a big and strong man, yet right now he pleaded with her.
“It’s not you, Ryder.” She glanced down at the ground. “It’s me. It’s always me.” She glanced up at him, forcing herself not to cry because that would make the situation even worse. She didn’t want to explain her past, because the truth was she was humiliated by it, hated that she’d always have the marks on her body to prove her trashy life.
“Please don’t use that excuse, because I can tell you I’ve never felt anything like this before, Cinder.” He moved closer, pressed the “Hold” button on the elevator so the doors didn’t close, and placed his hands on the banister on either side of her. “I don’t want you running because you’re scared, because Cinder, I’m scared, too.” He glanced down at her lips. “I’ve never wanted a woman for more than a few hours at a time, and I’m ashamed to say that, but it’s the truth.”
“Ryder, please…” She didn’t want to hear about his past lovers, or the fact that he felt differently with her. She couldn’t stand to know that he wanted her as much as she wanted him, because her life was complicated, her past a tangled mess. How could a man like Ryder, so smart, wealthy, and prominent, want a woman that had cigarette scars, and had a body that was broken from the years of life that had dragged her down?
“Please, Cinder,” he said and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “I’m not a man who begs, not a man who goes after something or someone that clearly is trying to stay away, but I don’t want to walk away from you.” He opened his eyes again. He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek, and Cinder felt herself mold into his touch, absorb the fact this virtual stranger was showing her a comfort she’d never felt before. She wasn’t a virgin, had been defiled many times over, but the fact remained she’d always prided herself on not being broken and a shell of a woman. She had pushed forward, finally gone after what she wanted, and had left the life she hated behind. What if she finally took something more for herself, gave in to her desire for this man, despite the obstacles that might stand in her way?
“It feels right and good, if not fast and surreal.” He stared hard in her eyes. “But I want it to happen, Cinder.” He breathed out, moved an inch closer, and the scent of his cologne, light yet masculine, filled her nose. “Tell me this doesn’t feel right, that you truly don’t want this to go further and I’ll back up, leave you alone.”
She stared into his blue eyes, felt like she was in some kind of alternate world where nothing was as it seemed. She opened her mouth, maybe to say just that, or maybe to tell him to do just that, to leave her alone because it was best for both of them. Or maybe she was about to tell him that she did want this.
“I’m scared.”
“Of what, sweetheart?” he asked and rubbed his thumb along her cheek. Her heart started beating fast, hard, and she leaned into his touch.
“I’m afraid of being with you, telling you about who I really am, and seeing the disgust on your face.”
He pulled away from her, a look of confusion on his face. “I would never hurt you.”
“I know, Ryder.”
As if hearing that, breaking something from her, and tearing away the concern that laced her body, her very cells, she reached up and held onto him. He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, and with his other hand pulled her closer, holding onto her as if his life depended on it. He used his body to press her even more firmly against the wall of the elevator. She was suffocating, but in the good kind of way, in the kind of way that stole her breath and made her realize life was precious.
Taking hold of the short hair at the base of his skull, she tugged lightly on the locks, trying to get him closer. Cinder wanted to be ingrained in this man, let him take everything away so all she ever thought about was this moment. She pulled away, kept her eyes closed, and rested her forehead on his chest. “Is this really happening, Ryder?”
He stroked her back with his hand, and she heard him inhale deeply right by her ear. “I sure as hell hope so, Cinder.” He pulled back, cupped her face, and leaned down to kiss her. “This is fast, I know, and seems so damn crazy, too, but I’m going with my gut on this.” He smiled at her, and she felt her heart rate pick up. “I want to take you someplace, Cinder, someplace where you can be whomever you want. Can let yourself go, and enjoy the fact you are beautiful inside and out.” He placed a hand on her chest, right over her heart.
“You might not want me once you know the past I’ve had, of who I really am and where I come from.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except what we feel right here.” Ryder applied more pressure to her chest. “And my heart is telling me to go for it, because this is real.”
Chapter Five
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One week later
Ryder scrubbed a hand over his hair and breathed out, thinking about all the shit he’d done in his life, all the things he’d sacrificed to get where he was right now. It seemed almost frivolous that he saw himself as a loner, living this life that revolved around his work, when all it had taken for him to feel something more was a woman who he’d known for two weeks. Cinder was not like any woman he’d ever met, and how crazy was that to think, to even say to himself after her just coming into his life such a short time ago? They hadn’t gone on an official date, but then again he hadn’t asked her out. He wasn’t afraid to be with her, to show her he wanted something more. What worried him was the fact he’d realize he had isolated himself so much that he couldn’t properly be with someone anymore.
Ryder couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with a woman in a commitment fashion. But all of that would change after tonight. He would tell Cinder that although she was scared he wanted to be her Knight in Shining Armor, wanted to make sure no demons ever touched her again. He wanted to talk to her, learn about who she was and the life she led. It didn’t matter if she felt ashamed or disgusted with how she’d lived, because he’d be there every step of the way. Ryder had never been one who believed in love at first sight, and although it wasn’t love…yet…he did want to see if it could lead that way with her.
He walked over to the window and stared at the city below. The tux he wore felt constricting and suffocating, and he reached up and started to loosen his tie. He held the mask he was to wear tonight, and thought about picking up Cinder and seeing her in the dress he’d bought for her. He wanted to go shopping with her, allow her to pick out anything she wanted, and just watch the way she reacted when she thought no one watched. He felt like an asshole for even thinking that, because he’d watched her while she cleaned the office, loved that she’d hum occasionally when she was alone in a room and he passed by. She had a voice like an angel, a cliché thing to say perhaps, but the truth regardless. But there hadn’t been any time to take her, despite the fact he’d wanted to, so instead he had a dress ordered for her and sent to her house.
Tonight was a charity event that would ha
ve many of Chicago’s prominent and successful citizens in attendance. Drake Vidal, the President of Vidal Labs and Technology, had invited him. Drake’s company was the leading distributer of medical and innovative equipment that Ryder used at the hospital he worked at. The charity event was also being held as a masquerade ball, one where the women and men could dress in elaborate masks, hide their identities, and also help a good cause. He turned from the window, knowing he wanted to sit and talk with Cinder more than he wanted to go anywhere, but baby steps needed to be taken. It wasn’t just for her, but for him as well.
He left his apartment and headed outside to where the limo was waiting. He’d pick Cinder up, then they would head to the event. But as much as he should focus on the night ahead, all he could think about was seeing Cinder dressed up, having her close to him in the limo, and being able to tell her everything he felt after it was all said and done.
“Doctor Prince.” The chauffeur nodded and opened the passenger rear door. Once Ryder was inside and the door was shut, he leaned back in the seat. The box he held was flat, smooth, and inside was a special piece he’d picked up from an Italian imported jewelry store down the street from the office building. It was a gift for Cinder, and he hoped she didn’t think it was odd that he’d gotten her such a lavish piece of jewelry. But Ryder knew it would match the gown he’d sent over, and hoped it didn’t make her feel uncomfortable that he was spoiling her with lavish things. He’d never been able to do nice things like this for a woman, not so much because he’d pushed them back and kept his life to himself, but because the women he had associated with had enough wealth that they bought those things for themselves. He had Cinder in his life now, and she was far different than any woman he’d ever met, and not just because she clearly didn’t have the family money the women he knew had. She was softer, gentler, and clearly didn’t take anything for granted, life included.
