by Mae Doyle
“I’m just so damn clumsy in the morning, you know? Sucks, Abigail. I hope that you had a backup copy of your accounting project to show Professor Thiel, because I heard that he can be quite the hardass when students fuck up.”
“I hate you.” Even though he’s so close to me that I could lean out and kiss him, I can’t make myself look at him. I don’t want him anywhere near me. I don’t want to look at his face and search it for compassion, because I’m pretty damn sure that I’m not going to find any.
He did this to me on purpose, and his voice tells me that he’s enjoying it.
“Oh, I hope that’s not true. Although, if it is, then hate sex can be quite thrilling. But remember what I told you, Abigail, I’m going to make you beg for it the first time.” He reaches out and brushes my hair back from my cheek. Tears spring to the corners of my eyes and I ignore him.
I hate him.
I can’t like the way it feels when he touches me.
He just destroyed my laptop and my accounting project.
When I don’t answer, he stands up, clicking his tongue at me. “Looks like you have quite the mess to clean up, Abigail. The staff at Trinity Prep will do most anything for the students, but when you make a big mess like this then they expect you to take care of it on your own.
Before I can say anything to him, he walks away. He’d crouched in the puddle of coffee when talking to me, and he leaves footprints halfway across the cafeteria. Slowly, the people around me start talking again.
They were all quiet when I was dealing with Quinn.
Nobody wanted to miss a thing.
Madeline leans over, her face pale. “I’ll get some towels, Abs. Just hang on.”
But by the time she gets back with the towels, I’m halfway down the hall to see Professor Thiel. My bag is dripping coffee as I walk, but I honestly don’t give a shit. I came here to learn from the best and to snag the internship of my dreams.
Who cares about coffee dripping in the hall?
I burst into my first period classroom and come face to face with Quinn. He’s holding the door for me and grinning like he expected me to come. Professor Thiel is sitting in his usual spot at his desk, a bored look on his face.
“Oh, Abigail, good, come on in. Quinn here was just telling me about the most unfortunate accident in the cafeteria. Let’s talk about it.”
“It wasn’t an accident.” Pushing Quinn out of the way, I stalk past him to Professor Thiel and hold up my still dripping bag. “Quinn poured his coffee on my bag on purpose. He knew that my laptop was in there and did it to sabotage my accounting project.”
For a moment, nobody in the room breathes, and I feel a surge of triumph. I’ve got Quinn where I want him and this is going to be the thing that makes him back off and leave me alone. Before I can celebrate for too long, though, Professor Thiel slowly shakes his head.
“Quinn already told me about the accident, and he told me that you were irrationally upset. I’m really sorry that this happened, but you should have had your project backed up somewhere else. Accidents happen so quickly, Abigail, and you have to be prepared to make sure that you can deal with them.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” Professor Thiel’s face darkens and I add, “Sir.”
“You think this is a joke? Quinn already told me that you went wild in the cafeteria, blaming him for the accident. This is no joke, Abigail. We have very high standards for our students at Trinity Prep, and you need to make sure that you can meet them.
My head suddenly feels very light and swimmy and I reach out for a desk for support. This has got to be some sort of a joke, right? Panicked, I look between the two of them, but neither of them smile.
“So, you think that this was an accident and that it’s somehow my fault?” I have to get the facts straight.
Quinn steps forward. “I already told you that I was sorry, Abigail, and I told you that I’d help you work on the project again. I don’t know what else you want from me.”
“You did nothing of the sort!” Whipping around to face him, I wave my dripping bag in his face. “You just…laughed! And then walked off after telling me to get towels and clean it up.”
Movement from the corner of my eye makes me turn to Professor Thiel. He has his hands planted on his desk and is breathing hard. I’ve never seen him look so angry, in fact, I didn’t know that accountants had that much emotion in their bodies.
I’d be impressed if I wasn’t the object of his ire.
“You are excused from class. I’m calling the headmaster to let him know that you are not welcome in any of your classes today. Not only do you need to write Quinn an apology letter, which I will then read to make sure that it’s up to par, but you also need to finish my accounting project before you step foot back in my classroom on Monday.”
“Are you serious? This project took all week! How am I going to finish it that quickly, and why isn’t he being punished for ruining it? He’s the one who attacked me, not the other way around!” My finger shakes a little when I point it at Quinn, but he just turns so that Professor Thiel can’t see his face and winks at me.
It’s infuriating.
“Do not question me, and do not act like you are anything special at Trinity Prep. You’re nothing at this school until you manage to prove yourself, and you have done no such thing. I suggest that you leave, now, before you make things worse for yourself.”
For a moment, I can’t move. I literally feel rooted to the spot. Quinn has a sick grin on his face and Professor Thiel is behind him, still looking like he’s going to blow at any second. If I leave, Quinn wins. If I stay, Quinn wins.
I don’t know how he’s getting out of this without getting into any trouble, but I don’t think that I have a choice in the matter right now. Grabbing my bag from where I dropped it on the floor, I turn and stalk out of the room.
Professor Thiel yells at my back. “Don’t forget, Abigail, you are not welcome in this class or in any of your other classes until you turn in your project and your apology for Quinn. I’d make good use of your time and also make sure that this doesn’t occur again!”
The halls are filling up as I walk away from class. Madeline runs up to me, surprise on her face. “Where are you going, Abby? We’ve got to get to class or Professor Thiel is going to kill us.”
I pause, considering telling her what’s going on, but she’s bound to hear it soon enough. There’s no way that Quinn will let this one slide without telling everyone what I’ve done and how he managed to have me punished.
“See you at lunch?” My voice sounds dull and flat, and Madeline’s eyes widen.
“Okay. Be good. Be safe.”
I nod at her and continue down the hall, keeping my head down so that I don’t have to look anyone in the eye. Nobody knows what’s happened yet, but that’s not going to last for long.
By the time I make it up into my room, I’m ready to rage. I toss my laptop and bag onto the bathroom floor and throw myself onto my bed. My accounting project is going to be a nightmare, but I’ll get through it. The thing that I’m actually dreading more is the apology letter to Quinn.
If I don’t get it right then I know that Professor Thiel won’t accept it and I’ll have to do it all over again.
But really all I want to do right now is tell them both to go to hell.
Chapter Ten
“I finished the apology letter.” Holding up the folded piece of paper, I show it to Professor Thiel, but I keep it out of his reach. Honestly, the last thing I want right now is for him to read it.
I put a lot of emotion and passion into it, but I’m not entirely sure that he’d approve everything I said. He nods at me and I slip the letter into my backpack.
“Hold on, Abigail.” His voice sounds like he’s thinking about something, and I pause, my fingers still touching the corner of the paper.
“Is something wrong?” I want to get this over with. Quinn will be in class before I know it, and I’ll be able to drop the letter
on his desk and then get back to my life. Maybe then I can put this all behind me and pretend that it never happened.
“After you left in such a huff last Friday Quinn and I had a moment to talk. We agreed that, rather than just handing him the note, which is very impersonal, it will make a much better impact on everyone if you read it to him.”
My stomach drops. Students are starting to file into the room, but I don’t see Quinn right away. “I’m sorry, you want me to read him my apology letter? Don’t you think that writing it was enough?”
In response, Professor Thiel steeples his fingers and looks at me. “I’m really not sure, Abigail. I need you to understand just how seriously we take behaviour like yours at Trinity Prep, and if that means that you need to read him the apology letter, then we better get down to it.”
Just as he finishes speaking, Quinn walks into the room. He sees the two of us talking and strolls over to us, a sly grin on his face. “Good morning, professor.” Giving Thiel a nod, he then turns to me and raises an eyebrow. “I think that you have something for me, am I right?”
Oh, he’s right. I’d love to tell him off, right here and now, and then hit him to let him know just how pissed I am, but that will never fly and I’ll kiss my chances of the internship goodbye in a moment. He knows it, I know it.
“I have an apology letter for you.” Scrambling, I pull it back out of my backpack, but I don’t hand it to him. Quinn reaches for it, but then he drops his hand back to his side.
“I can’t wait to hear it, Abigail. I really can’t wait to hear what you have to say to me.”
It takes all of my self-control not to roll my eyes. “Let’s go out into the hall, then, shall we?” It’s killing me to play this little game of theirs, but right now I don’t have a choice. As long as I can get this over with quickly then it’ll all be fine.
But Professor Thiel clears his throat. “You know, I think that it’s a much better idea to have you read it here. Everyone in class knows about your behavior last week, Abigail, and here at Trinity Prep we like to make sure that bad behavior isn’t catching.”
They want to make an example out of me. Biting back the words I want to say, I turn to face the class. Quinn grins at me and goes to sit down in his seat, leaning back so far that I think he’s going to fall over.
If I had any magical powers, I’d make it happen.
Glaring at him, I try to force his chair over with my mind, but he doesn’t move.
“As you all know, at Trinity Prep, we hold our students to exceptionally high standards. When a student fails to meet those standards, then they are required to make it up to the person they have wronged.” Professor Thiel pauses for a moment and everyone turns to look at me. Immediately, my face starts burning hot red, but I try to take deep breaths to ignore it.
Everyone in the class is waiting to hear what’s going to happen. By now, they all know about the apology letter I had to write Quinn, and they’re all dying to hear it.
“Abigail here has something to say to Quinn. Last week she displayed behavior that is unbecoming of a Trinity Prep student and, quite frankly, made me very concerned about her ability to perform as a student here. Luckily for her, Quinn didn’t want her punished in a way that would harm her ability to compete as an artist. All he asked for was an apology letter, and you are all here to witness it.” He waves his hand in my direction. “When you’re ready, Abigail.”
I’m never going to be ready for this, but I take a deep breath anyway and close my eyes for just a moment. All I have to do is read the stupid apology and we can all move on from this.
When I open my eyes again, I do my best to avoid looking directly at Quinn. Instead, I flip open my apology letter and focus on it. I know it by heart, but looking at it will give me a way to focus.
“Quinn.” His name is gravel in my mouth and I have to choke it out. I hate the way it feels to be addressing him in front of everyone, and I hate even more that I know he’s enjoying this.
Madeline is sitting in the front row and she shifts position like she’s trying to catch my eye, but I studiously ignore her. All weekend she helped me with my accounting project, but I didn’t let her read my letter. I had thought that it was going to be between me and Quinn, but I was wrong.
Dead wrong.
“I am sorry for the way that I treated you last week. It’s very hard to be clumsy, and I know that you didn’t mean to spill your coffee into my bag and onto my computer, even though you’d just asked where my laptop with my accounting project was a moment before.”
Professor Thiel sucks in a breath, but I ignore him. If I can just get through this as quickly as possible then we can all get back to the business of learning.
“Then, when you ran away and left me to clean up your mess on my own, I tried my best to forgive you. You make it difficult, at best.”
I can’t help but glance up at Quinn. He’s still leaning back in his chair, but his mouth has fallen open slightly. I’m sure that this isn’t what he expected from my apology letter, but it’s the best that he’s going to get.
“I didn’t take you for a tattle-tale, but I guess that I shouldn’t have been surprised that someone who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth would run to an adult for help. Maybe next time that you fuck up, you’ll take responsibility like a man.”
This time, when I pause, I hear someone snicker. There’s no way that I’m going to look up and try to see who it was, though. It’s obvious that everyone in the class is hanging on my every word, and I’m almost afraid to come to the end of my letter.
“So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you were raised by parents who obviously never taught you right from wrong. I’m sorry that you don’t understand how to treat people decently. I’m sorry that nobody in your life has ever stood up to you, but you need to know that that ends now. No matter how much you think that you can walk over people, it’s over, Quinn.”
Holding my chin up, I drop my hand and the paper to my side, and stare over the heads of my classmates.
Nobody moves.
I’m not stupid enough to think that I got away with it. Hell, if I had just given the letter to Quinn like I had thought I was going to be allowed to do, then this probably wouldn’t have been a big deal. He would have known what I had written, but nobody else would have.
But then Professor Thiel got involved.
Right now, I’m not sure who I hate more. The professor or Quinn.
But they answer my question for me.
It’s Quinn. I hate him more.
Before anyone else can say anything, Quinn starts clapping. It’s not a fast clap. He’s moving his hands maddeningly slowly, the loud claps punctuating the silence. After just a moment, other students join in, all clapping slowly and deliberately, the sound getting louder and louder as everyone joins in.
Well, not everyone. Madeline is staring at me, her face white, her hands clasped firmly in her lap. But everyone else? They’re all clapping.
Until Professor Thiel slams his hands on his desk and stands up.
“Enough!” His voice cuts through the clapping and everyone stops, although Quinn keeps clapping long after the others have quit. Once Quinn is silent, though, I hear Professor Thiel walk around his desk and come up to me. He stands in front of me, his back to the rest of the class.
I can’t see past him, but I have no doubt that everyone is watching this.
“Explain yourself.” He’s doing a wonderful job keeping his voice even and low, but I can easily hear the anger simmering just beneath the surface. While it had seemed like a really good idea at the time to say what I did, it’s easy to see now that it may have been a bit of a mistake.
Felt good, though.
“I apologized. That was what really happened last Friday. I did nothing wrong, sir, and so I just apologized for what I felt needed it.”
His face twists and turns a little red.
I’m screwed.
“You made a mockery of what I told you to do
, that’s what you did. I don’t know what other plans you had for the rest of your day, Abigail, but cancel them. You’re going to sit up here right by my desk and work on an apology letter for Quinn until I approve it, do you understand?”
“I can’t do that. I have to get to work on my painting.” For the first time, I feel a jolt of fear burst through me. After losing all of the time over the weekend that I would have spent painting because I had to work on my accounting project, I can’t lose anymore.
Everyone in my class is going to be well ahead of me.
“Then you better figure out how to write a decent apology. Quickly. The faster you do what I tell you to do, the sooner you can get to your other classes, do you understand?”
Oh, I understand, all right. I understand that somehow Quinn has all of the teachers here eating out of his hand and that he’ll throw me under the bus without a second thought.
Nodding at Professor Thiel, I wait until he goes back to his desk before slipping into mine. While he drones on for the rest of class, I work quickly, drafting an apology letter that I know will get me out of this hell sooner rather than later.
Do I believe a word of it?
Not a chance.
Will it get me excused to go to the rest of my classes?
Hell, yeah.
When the bell tones, I immediately go up to Professor Thiel and hand him the revised letter. He flips it open and skims it, one eyebrow raised the entire time. With a sigh, he folds it and places it gently on his desk. “This is what I expected of you the first time, Abigail. If you’re going to succeed here at Trinity Prep then you need to make sure that you’re taking responsibility for your actions, do you understand?”
“I do.”
I don’t, not really, not when only some of the students have to take responsibility while others are allowed to do whatever they want, but I keep my mouth closed.
“Good. Then make sure that we don’t have to have this discussion again, am I clear? Pull it together, Abigail, and be the student that we were promised when you transferred, because, quite honestly, so far you’ve been a disappointment.”
