by Todd, E. L.
“I love you too.”
“So you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to these women that you find to be so gorgeous. They have nothing on you, Sadie. There’s no goddamn comparison—none at all.”
I grabbed his back and felt my orgasm begin.
“I’m the lucky bastard that asks myself why you chose me. Why you decided to give yourself to me. You are so beautiful, smart, and not plain whatsoever. I look at other men and wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve you.”
I bit my lip as the orgasm rocked through my body.
“And I can’t believe I’m the one that gets to make you come every night. That I make you come at all.”
“Ethan.”
He pounded into me harder until he reached his moment. He exploded inside me and emptied himself. I continued to hold him close as the moment passed. It was the first time we had sex in a public place—a very public place.
Ethan pulled out of me then guided me back to a stand. He pressed his face against mine and looked into my eyes. “Did we straighten this out?”
I nodded.
“Sadie?”
“Yeah?”
“I want you all the time. It doesn’t matter if we are here, at the grocery store, home, wherever it may be. It’s just you—no one else.”
“Okay.”
“Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Ethan.”
“I never want to hear you say that again. I’ve proven my love and devotion to you. You may as well start accepting it.”
“I do.”
“You better.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan.”
“It’s okay, baby. Don’t let it happen again.”
“Okay.”
He kissed me on the forehead then dressed himself. I pulled down my dress then reached for my underwear. He grabbed my hand and pushed it away. “No.”
“No?”
“That will be your punishment.”
“No panties?”
“Nope.”
“You’re a crazy asshole.”
He smiled. “You sound surprised.”
“I’m not.”
“Sadie?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve never had sex in a public place like this. So, you were my first.”
I smiled. “I’m glad I have something.”
“And you know what else you’re my first in?”
“What?”
“You are also the first last person I’m ever going to have sex with.”
I felt the tears sting my eyes. “Really?”
“As long as you’ll have me.”
“I never want to be with anyone else, Ethan.”
“Good. Because you don’t have a choice anyway.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You can’t break up with me. I won’t let you. So you’re stuck with me.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Really? You don’t think I’m a crazy asshole?”
“Well, I didn’t say that.”
He smiled. “You still love me anyway?”
I nodded. “I’m a crazy asshole too.”
“Good. I’m glad I’m not the only one.”
“So we are perfect together?”
He kissed me on the forehead. “That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time, baby—this whole fucking time.”
“I think I understand now.”
“Good. I was about to get pissed again if you didn’t.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course you were.”
“Get used to it.”
21
“I like your brothers.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes.” I tossed my purse on the counter then bent down to pet Koku. He walked right past me and started to paw Ethan’s leg. He picked him up and held him in his hand. “That traitor.”
Ethan laughed. “I need to take him home.”
“Can we take him to the park tomorrow?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“So Elisa said yes?”
“I haven’t talked to her.”
“Well, you should ask soon. My brother has been texting me every hour.”
Ethan put down the dog. “Can we stay at my place tonight?”
“Yeah. I know you left Elisa alone yesterday.”
“She doesn’t say anything but I know she hates it. I used to just get my dick wet then take off. I haven’t been out all night in a long time.”
I nodded. “Let’s take Koku out then we’ll head over.”
“Okay.”
We took my dog outside and let him sniff the bushes then relieve himself in the darkness. Then we returned to the apartment so I could grab a change of clothes and a toothbrush. By the time we reached Ethan’s, it was already late. I hoped everyone was asleep. I loved the kids and his sister, but I was tired.
When we walked inside, Elisa was sitting on the couch in her pajamas. “Have a good time?” she asked with a smile.
“Yeah,” Ethan said. “Kyle and Scott weren’t too bad.”
“You know they love you.” She looked at me. “You’re staying over, right?”
I could see the happiness in her eyes. She really disliked having Ethan away. She was so grateful that I was willing to stay over there. “Yeah.”
“Great. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Ethan moved into the living room and sat next to his sister. “Would you wanna go to the park tomorrow? It could be all of us and Jared.”
She smiled. “Jared wants to come?”
I knew she liked my brother. It was written all over her face. “It was his idea, actually.”
“Really?” she asked. “The kids too?”
I nodded. “He loves your kids.”
She was quiet for a moment. I could see the battle behind her eyes. She was excited to see Jared, but then she felt guilty for thinking it. Since she still wore her wedding ring, I knew she still considered herself to be committed to her husband even though he was dead. It was sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. If I ever lost Ethan, I would probably act the same way.
“That sounds wonderful,” she said finally.
Ethan stared at her. “You like him?”
She was quiet for a moment. “I enjoy being around him.”
He nodded. “Well, I’ll let him know about tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she said. Now she looked even sadder. It was obvious how guilty she felt.
Ethan looked at her. “It’s okay, Elisa. You don’t have to be alone forever. Tom wouldn’t want that.”
She looked away. Her voice barely came out as a whisper. “Yeah.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her head against his chest. “I’m not trying to rush you into anything, but Jared seems like a nice guy. Maybe we should all spend more time with him.”
“You think?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
She sighed. “I know I need to move on but it’s hard. I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me because I don’t have anyone else. I know it’s only a year away, but I know you are happy with Sadie now and want to start your own lives.”
“Hey. Don’t ever worry about that. I love living with you and raising the kids. That’s never been a problem. If you aren’t ready to try again, that’s fine. I’ll take care until the kids start school. But I don’t want you to stay alone out of guilt. It’s been three years, Elisa. You’ve waited long enough.”
Their conversation was making me sad. I had never known anyone who lost a spouse at such a young age. It was heartbreaking. And I loved the way Ethan cared for his sister. He would do anything for her.
Ethan rubbed her back. “So, do you like him, Elisa? You spent all night talking to him.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He nodded. “Good. I’m glad.”
I smiled. I was glad that h
e accepted my brother. But I think it was because his sister finally stepped out of her shell. He was just grateful that she was finally allowing herself some happiness.
Elisa pulled away from Ethan and looked at me. “I’m so sorry, Sadie. I know how much Ethan loves you and I keep taking him from you. Whenever you want to start your own loves together, don’t worry about me. We’ll figure something out. I never want to jeopardize your relationship.”
I patted her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I fell in love with Ethan because of how sweet he is to you. It really doesn’t bother me.”
She smiled. “You don’t mind sleeping here?”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. My brother would do the same for me, and I for him.”
Ethan kissed me on the forehead. “Thank you, baby.”
“Yeah.”
Elisa stood up. “I’m sorry for putting a damper on your evening.”
“You didn’t,” Ethan said. “You can be really annoying but I’ll always put up with it.” He smiled at her. “Good night, sis.”
“Good night, E.”
Ethan grabbed my hand and took me down the hall. Elisa followed us and disappeared into her bedroom. I knew she was waiting for Ethan to come home before she could fall asleep.
I looked at him. “It really traumatized her, huh?”
He nodded. “Tom wasn’t just stabbed. He was beaten so badly the authorities couldn’t recognize him. They had to pull dental records just to accurately identify him.” I felt the tears pull at my eyes. That was horrific. “Since the mugger took his wallet, Elisa has always been scared that he might come to the house or something. I think the combination of those two things have scarred her.”
“I—I couldn’t even imagine.”
“Don’t,” he said quickly. He opened the bedroom door and left it halfway ajar so he could hear everything in the house. After he removed all of his clothes, he opened his drawer and pulled out the gun, checking the bullets and the safety lock.
“Aren’t you afraid of the children touching it?”
“No. My bedroom is locked when I’m not here. They can’t get to it. Elisa and I agreed on that a long time ago. I don’t want to lock it away because it will take me too long to get it if I need it.” He returned it to the drawer.
I opened one of his drawers and pulled out a clean shirt.
He watched me put it on. “It looks better on you than it does on me.”
“That’s because my ass is showing.”
“And I like the view.”
“Can I have my panties back?”
He grabbed them from his pocket then placed them in the drawer.
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re such a pervert.”
“What’s your point? I like your underwear.” He moved under the covers and lay down.
I crawled beside him and laid my head on his chest. “And what are you planning to do with them?”
He shrugged. “I’ll put them to good use when I’m alone because we are fighting or you’re on a trip or something.”
“Does that mean what I think it means?”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
“You’re gross.”
“No. I’m just hot for you. If I can’t have you, I would like to pretend that I do.”
I ran my fingers down his chest but said nothing.
“Does that bother you, baby?”
“No. It’s hot.”
“Now look who’s the pervert.”
I smiled. “You caught me.”
He kissed my forehead then rested his head on top of mine. I enjoyed the feel of his warm body next to mine. He was a portable heater that I carried everywhere. I wanted to do that every night for the rest of our lives. I couldn’t imagine a night sleeping without him. I was so used to it.
“Ethan?”
“Hmm?”
“Can we ever get married?”
“What? What kind of question is that?”
“I meant because of your sister. If she never moves on, would be ever we able to get married?”
He was quiet for a moment. “Yes, of course. She can raise the kids alone when they are in school. It’s doable. Right now it’s just hard because they are so young. And even if she never remarries we can always babysit once in a while.”
I said nothing.
“Is that okay?”
“Yes. I love your sister but I’m not gonna share you with her forever. I want a husband and a family of my own, nothing less. As long as this arrangement isn’t permanent then I’m fine with it.
“Sadie, it isn’t. We’ll get married eventually. By the time we are ready, I probably won’t be living with her anyway. Don’t worry about that. And she would never ask me to stay with her because she isn’t selfish. Her husband is dead because of me. I’m responsible for her and the kids now that Tom isn’t here. It’s my duty. So for now, yes, this is how the arrangement is going to be. Please give me a year because I can give you everything you deserve by then.”
I sighed. “So there’s a future for us? I understand why you feel guilty but it isn’t your fault, Ethan.”
“Yes, it is,” he said quietly. “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but for now I can’t abandon my sister. I’m sorry. That’s just unacceptable.”
“That’s totally fine, Ethan. I’m willing to wait. That isn’t very far away anyway.”
“Do you still want to be with me in light of all that? Waiting for a year?”
“Of course I want to be with you.”
“Thank god. I’m really sorry, Sadie.”
“It’s fine. We just started dating anyway. Nothing serious will happen for a year.”
He sighed. “Would you be willing to get a bigger place for all of us in the meantime?”
“We would all live together?”
“Yeah.”
I was quiet for a moment. “Can Koku come?”
“Of course,” he said with smile.
“Then yes,” I said. “As long as you intend to move out with me as soon as the kids start school.”
He pulled my face up, locking his gaze with mine. “You would do that? You would wait for me?”
“Of course. I don’t want anyone but you. And I love your family.”
He stared at me.
“It wouldn’t be traditional for a while, but we would be happy. That’s all that matters.”
“I—I don’t know what to say.” He pulled me to his chest and squeezed me tight. “God, I love you, Sadie. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I must have done something.”
“You did a few things.”
He kissed me on the forehead. “When I feel this happy, I remember how depressed I was. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now that I have you, I see how empty my life used to be. I was a pathetic excuse for a man.”
“We all make mistakes, Ethan.”
“Not you.”
I completely disagreed with that statement but I didn’t want to bring up my ex, Mark. That was a mistake I could never take back.
“I love making love to you knowing you’re completely mine—literally. I’m the only man who’s come inside you.”
“I like it that way.”
“Good. Because it’s going to be that way for a long time.”
I smiled. “This is a two way street.”
“Baby, I don’t want to fuck a dirty chick. Why would I when I have you?”
“You’re sweet.”
“I’m just being honest.”
I crawled on top of him and snuggled on his chest. I was too tired and emotional to make love. I think Ethan felt the same because he didn’t make a move. At first I was worried about the arrangement he had with his sister. While I admired him for being so selfless, I didn’t want to always be second best. I wanted our own family and our house. But knowing he would be leaving in a year and Elisa wanted him to go made everything better. I didn’t want to get married right away anyway. The timing was perfect.
/>
I felt him staring at me, and when I opened my eyes, I saw him looking at me. He ran his fingers through my hair but didn’t say anything. I saw the love and adoration in his eyes and it squeezed my heart. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. I took a chance, gambling more than I could afford, and I won the lottery—the fucking lottery.
22
The following morning, I dressed myself in shorts and a baseball jersey. I tucked my hair inside a baseball cap and looked in the mirror. I wasn’t sure if I looked good. I wasn’t wearing those tight pants with a skimpy shirt that girls usually wore. My hair wasn’t even done. “You look so cute,” Ethan said as he came up behind me. “Why haven’t you ever worn this before?”
“Uh, I don’t know.”
He stared at me in the mirror. “You look great, baby.”
Sometimes I wondered if he was lying. I thought I looked like a hobo. Plus, I wasn’t wearing makeup. But since we were just going to the park, I didn’t think I should wear any.
Ethan wore a plain shirt and basketball shorts. His arms looked nice and his calves were eye-catching. Every time I looked at him, my thoughts wandered to inappropriate things.
He caught the look. “We don’t have time now. But I’ll definitely make time later when we’re in the shower.”
I moaned. “I love the shower.”
He placed his hand inside my shorts then inserted his fingers inside me. I gasped at the unexpected intrusion. I was wet so he slipped right in. “I can tell.” He pulled his fingers away then licked them.
“Ethan.”
“Later, baby.”
“No.”
“No?” he asked with a laugh.
“We always have sex when you want to. This is a two way street.”
“Baby, I want to please you. I enjoy it immensely. But breakfast is almost ready and Jared—your brother—is going to be here soon. There isn’t enough time.”
“I just want to come, Ethan. Please.”
His eyes widened in surprise. “Don’t talk like that,” he whispered.
“Fuck me, Ethan.”
He moaned. “Damn.”
I pulled down my shorts and removed the clean underwear that I packed. I left my running shoes on then climbed on the bed, my ass facing him. My legs stuck out over the edge of the bed and I faced the wall, knowing that would be too tempting for him. I heard his breathing increase.
