That someone just happened to be me.
Jo Marie knew next to nothing about my past life and that was the way I wanted it, the way it had to be. When I’d started this little game, I didn’t have a clue I was just as badly in need of having my life shaken up. Falling in love with Jo Marie offered hope. And courage. It was because of her that I’d decided to make things right with Ibrahim. Hope, I’d learned, is a heady elixir.
I’d been forced to work a deal with the army in order to get back into Iraq. Only a few knew locating Ibrahim and his family wasn’t my sole purpose. It wasn’t in my nature to leave matters unfinished. All the while I was recuperating I thought about what I could do to complete my mission. The answer boiled down to one simple fact; I had to return.
My going back was too much for Jo Marie to handle. She would rather sever the relationship than go through what she had this last year of not knowing if I was dead or alive. I wondered if she’d be more willing to release me to my obligation if it wasn’t for this other guy. I knew this joker was standing on the sidelines, willing and eager to take my place in her life.
Perfect, just perfect.
While mulling over the decision, the door to the hospital room opened and Lieutenant Colonel Milford came inside. He must have insider information to know when Jo Marie wasn’t visiting me at the hospital. That was the only explanation that made sense. The only times he’d shown up was when she wasn’t at my bedside.
I’d only met the man recently, and that was due to the fact that Jo Marie had contacted him in a desperate attempt to get information about me. I knew she considered him Paul’s mentor and her friend. I strongly suspected her feelings had changed and she didn’t trust him the same as she once had, for the simple reason he was encouraging me to complete the mission.
After Jo Marie’s inquiry about me, the military had brought Milford into the picture, but to what extent I didn’t know. I speculated they relied on him and his relationship with Jo Marie to persuade me to follow through with my commitment.
“Morning,” Milford said, coming to stand at the foot of my hospital bed.
“Sir.”
“I heard you’re about to be released.”
Undoubtedly he knew more than I did. “That’s the word.”
He nodded and held my look. “You intend to finish recuperating at the Rose Harbor Inn?”
I nodded, although I wondered if Jo Marie had second thoughts about having me stay with her.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I arched my brows. “Really? And why not?”
He hesitated as if carefully considering his words. “It’s my understanding that Jo Marie has strong feelings about you completing this mission. That being the case, it might be wise to have you recuperate at a neutral location.”
“I’m my own man, sir. I make my own decisions.”
He smiled. “You’ve never been married, have you?”
“No sir.” I wondered at the question and what he was implying. Wife or no wife, I made my own decisions, just as I’d told him.
“That’s what I thought.”
“You’re concerned Jo Marie will sway me?”
The lieutenant colonel grinned knowingly. “You’re no longer a member of the armed services. We can’t order you into enemy territory, and at the same time there’s no one else capable of seeing this through. You’ve gained the trust and the confidence of this resistance group, especially since you were willing to risk your life to help one of them.”
Milford wasn’t making this decision any easier.
“Every available resource will be yours,” he continued. “As you’re well aware, time is of the essence.” He paused and seemed to wait for me to give him an answer right at that moment. He asked the impossible. No way did I have the strength or the stamina for such an ordeal. I’d used up eight of my nine lives on my last venture.
“I’m too weak…”
“True, for now. What we need from you is the commitment in order to put the logistics in motion. Once you’re physically able, we can set this mission into action. All the resources of the United States army will be at your disposal.”
I knew the importance of what I’d been asked. I was to make contact with the resistance fighters and give them the ANCD codes, vital information that had the potential to sway the fight against ISIS. For security reasons, the group wasn’t connected to the Internet, so getting updates, intel, and any other information to them by normal means was impossible. It was complicated by the fact that the resistance fighters had lost trust in the United States army. After what had happened when my own unit had shipped out, I didn’t blame them. Fortunately, their group leader knew me and trusted me, and to further cement the deal, he was related to Ibrahim.
Milford continued to hold my look as if the intensity of his stare would be enough to persuade me. “We’ve been in touch with Ibrahim and he’s agreed to accompany you.”
If he assumed that was incentive, then he was wrong.
“Absolutely not.” That was the last thing I wanted to see happen. I refused to risk Ibrahim’s life. If I did return, I would go alone.
Milford shifted his feet as if recognizing he was losing ground. “I’ve been told that because of the importance of this assignment that a grateful country would be willing to make this worth your while.”
I snickered. “I don’t need you to sweeten the pot.” I wasn’t a man who could be bought. Milford needed to understand this decision wasn’t about money. This was about life, my life, and more important any hope I had of a future with Jo Marie.
He named a figure that guaranteed I wouldn’t need to work for the next fifty years.
I raised my hand, stopping him from continuing. “I don’t want anything.”
Triumph flared in his eyes. “Does this mean you’ll—”
“It means,” I said, cutting him off, “the same thing it did yesterday and the day before that. I’ll consider it, but for right now that’s all I’m willing to do.”
The sound of the door opening distracted me. Glancing up, I saw Jo Marie framed in the open doorway. Her gaze flew from me to Lieutenant Colonel Milford. She cautiously moved into the room.
“Dennis,” she said slowly and acknowledged him with a slight dip of her head.
“Jo Marie,” Milford returned, and his entire demeanor changed. The stiffness left his shoulders, and the intensity that had marked his face seconds earlier vanished. He greeted Jo Marie with a warm smile as if the two of us had been discussing the latest updates on the Seahawks football team.
Knowing Jo Marie as well as I did, I could tell she wasn’t fooled. Crossing her arms, she offered Milford a tight smile.
“Our boy seems to be recovering well, don’t you think?” Milford said casually.
Jo Marie ignored the question.
“I learned he’s being discharged this morning.”
Again she didn’t respond.
The silence grew uncomfortable.
Milford’s smile dimmed. “I was just telling Mark that the army has made accommodations for him following his release.”
Immediately Jo Marie’s heated gaze shot to me.
“And I was explaining to the lieutenant colonel that while I appreciated the gesture, I’d already made other arrangements.” I looked pointedly at the other man. “I’ll be staying at the Rose Harbor Inn.”
“Nonsense,” he argued. “There’s no need to put Jo Marie out.”
“He isn’t,” she assured him quickly. “I’ve got everything prepared for his arrival.”
“I’ll be with Jo Marie.” I didn’t leave room for any misunderstanding.
Given no other choice, Milford nodded. “Then I’ll leave you two to make your plans.”
“Good,” Jo Marie murmured, letting it be known she was happy to see him go.
Milford held my gaze in a pointed stare before he turned to leave. “I’ll be in touch,” he said on his way out the door.
The tension he
left behind was as thick as tar.
Jo Marie remained standing at the far end of the bed, her arms tightly crossed over her chest. “Does Dennis stop by often?”
“Often enough.” I didn’t see the need to add gasoline to the fire.
“Has he pressured you?”
I shrugged.
“Bribed you?”
“He tried,” I said, amused.
“Threatened you?”
“No. The only threats I’ve gotten have come from you.”
At my words she blinked hard. “Are…are you going to do it?” she asked and seemed to brace herself for my answer.
“I don’t know.”
She accepted that but not easily. I noticed how hard she swallowed. “When will you decide?”
“Soon.”
Again the hard swallow before she relaxed her stance as though a heaviness weighed her down. “You’ve changed, Mark.”
What she said was true. “We both have. I’m free of the burden I carried, the guilt and the regret.” That explained some of the difference, but not all. “Doing right by Ibrahim has changed me, but, Jo Marie, you need to understand that while I might not be the man you remember, the way I feel about you, the way I love you, is as strong now as it ever was.”
As though embarrassed, she angrily swiped away the moisture that rolled down her cheeks. “I…I had this naïve idea that if you managed to live through this ordeal that you’d return to the inn…and that the two of us would be a couple and manage the inn together.”
I stretched out my hand, wanting, needing, her to move closer to me. My heart sank. While working as a handyman I’d been in hiding from the world, but mostly from myself. Woodworking had kept me sane, but I had other skills, other plans now.
“You’re not a handyman, are you, Mark?” she asked, her voice cracking.
“No.”
“You’d never be happy living with me and working at the inn. That’s not who you are any longer. Maybe it’s not who you ever were.”
“Jo Marie,” I whispered. Seeing her cry was breaking my heart. “I’d be happy with you no matter where we lived. Don’t you realize how much I love you; how important you are to me?”
I tossed aside the sheet. If she wouldn’t come to me, then I was going to her even if it meant falling flat on my face, which, unfortunately, was a distinct possibility. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I started to slide off the mattress.
“Mark,” she cried, “are you crazy? What are you doing?” In a flash she was at my side.
“Coming to you.”
“Stop.”
Wrapping my arms around her waist, I brought her into my embrace. “Don’t you understand,” I said, kissing the sensitive area behind her ear. Her scent was heady enough to make me lose my train of thought. “I want to marry you, Jo Marie. And God willing, I hope one day that we’ll have children together.”
Her shoulders shook with tears as she wrapped her arms around my neck and clung to me.
“I know I’m weak now, and I don’t have a lot to offer you…”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll get strong and I’ll fatten you up,” she promised. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. Don’t you dare say you have nothing to offer me.”
“Fatten me up with your cookies?” I asked hopefully.
She sniffled and leaned back to study me, her eyes and nose red, tears running unrestrained down her cheeks. “I swear you fell in love with me because of my cookies.”
I kissed the moisture from her face. “I’m pleading the fifth.”
She smiled and her lips slid to mine, her mouth opening to my exploration. A man could get drunk on kisses like this. The entire time I’d been at Madigan we’d shared far too few such kisses. I needed her to know how much I yearned for her, how my body cried out to be one with her, to love her, plant children inside her and watch them grow there and give life to the future. The kiss we shared now was one of passion, desire, need. It involved all my senses. The scent, the feel, the taste of this woman was the most potent aphrodisiac I’d ever experienced. If we weren’t inside a hospital; if I wasn’t physically weak to the point I could barely stand, I knew exactly where this kiss would lead.
We were both panting and shaking by the time we broke apart.
“Wow,” Jo Marie whispered, her voice low and trembling.
“Just a small taste of the future,” I promised, as I brushed the hair away from her forehead, and then, because I couldn’t resist, I kissed her again.
Although the timing wasn’t great, I had to tell her. “I need to remind you I haven’t made my final decision.”
She lowered her head and then nodded. “I can’t fight you on this any longer, Mark. You make the decision, do what you know in your heart is right.”
“Will you accept whatever it is I do?” From the pain in her eyes I knew I was asking a lot of her.
“Do I have a choice?”
I exhaled slowly and brought her back into the protective circle of my arms, resting my head on top of hers. “What about this other man?” It was killing me, thinking about Jo Marie dating Greg.
She went still, stiff in my arms. “What about him?”
“I can’t bear knowing you’re still seeing him. It’s eating me alive.”
She smiled and kissed the underside of my jaw. “Are you jealous, Mark?”
“Hell yes, I’m jealous. How would you feel if you learned there was another woman in my life? Wouldn’t you lie awake nights wondering what I was thinking, if I still loved you, especially when this other woman made it known she wanted me?”
My question was met with silence and then she said, “There is someone else in your life.” She extracted herself from my arms and took a step back.
“No way, Jo Marie,” I argued. “You’re the only one for me. From the moment we met there’s never been anyone but you.”
She shook her head and a sad smile came over her. “Her name is Iraq.”
My eyes slammed shut. I’d been blinded by own stupidity.
“I love you far more,” I assured her, reaching for Jo Marie, needing her warmth and her comfort. She let me hug her and rested her head on my shoulder.
“That remains to be seen,” she whispered.
The woman knew exactly what to say to fill my head with concerns and questions. We hadn’t resolved the issue, nor had I made up my mind. All that had been accomplished in this heart-to-heart discussion was the knowledge I would lose no matter what I decided.
Nick’s parents arrived on Saturday afternoon. He met with them privately for the first part of the day. I was concerned and prayed long and hard that their discussion would go well.
Following the first counseling session, Nick had said very little of what had transpired. He grew sullen and quiet on the drive home. When we arrived back home, he hurried into the house. For a good five minutes I’d sat in the car debating if I should follow him or not. I didn’t. Once back at the inn I’d sent him a text, which he answered almost right away. He thanked me and said he needed time to sort through some things. No kidding.
I didn’t hear from him on Wednesday despite the three text messages I sent him. Then mid-afternoon he sent me one that said he was fine and I shouldn’t worry. Well, good luck with that. I worried.
Thursday he seemed more like himself. I stopped by and I helped him straighten up the house and clean it for his parents’ visit. He used every opportunity to be close and to touch me, telegraphing his desire to deepen our relationship. I wouldn’t let him kiss me and did my best to disguise how much his touch affected me. His fingers grazed my upper arm and I felt it all the way to the soles of my feet.
I had it bad, but I’d had similar feelings when dating Jayson and something close to that with James. I wasn’t doing this again and avoided him as much as I could, which he went out of his way to make difficult.
On Friday, just one day before his parents’ arrival, I did my best to encourage him through text messages and a bri
ef phone chat. Although he didn’t specifically mention it, I knew the counselor had helped him prepare for this meeting.
Saturday I left Nick to spend time alone with his mom and dad. We agreed I would make a showing Sunday afternoon without setting a specific time. I wanted to be sure Nick and his parents had ample opportunity to talk before I arrived. I was anxiously awaiting Nick’s text following church on Sunday. It came earlier than I expected.
Where R U?
At the inn. U ready for me?
YES.
I smiled and headed out. Jo Marie was busy getting Mark settled. The drive from the hospital had exhausted him, and he’d spent most of Saturday in his room on the bottom floor. This afternoon she’d helped him onto the deck so he could sit in the warm sunshine. I knew after spending literally weeks in the hospital how good it must feel to breathe in fresh, clean air and look out over that amazing view of the Olympic mountain range. Sun, sea, and sky were as good as any medicine.
“I’m leaving now,” I told her.
Jo Marie knew the significance of this meeting for Nick. While she was concerned for me, she worried about Nick, too.
“I want a full report once you’re back.”
“You’ll get it,” I promised her.
Walking the few short blocks to Bethel Street, I was greeted by Elvis, who let out a welcoming bark when I came into view. His tail went into action, letting me know how pleased he was to see me. The feeling was mutual. I’d come to love this guard dog, although it was questionable as to how much of a guard he actually was.
Apparently hearing Elvis, Nick walked onto the porch. His relief was clear as his eyes met mine as I headed up the walkway. That one look, the bright way in which his eyes shone, told me the conversation with his parents had gone well. My relief was instantaneous. Nick reached for my hand, his fingers curling around mine, and led me inside the kitchen. His parents sat at the kitchen table.
Right away his father stood.
“Mom, Dad this is Emily…Em.”
Stepping forward, I extended my hand. “Emily Gaffney,” I said.
Sweet Tomorrows Page 22
