Witch is How The Tables Turned

by Adele Abbott

  Some HR professionals might have all kinds of isms to take into account, but I doubted many would have to concern themselves with felineism.

  “I’ve been doing some research into those cat clocks,” Mrs V said.

  “Oh? Why?”

  “They’re to blame for Armi losing his position as chairman. I’m curious about where they suddenly appeared from.”

  “It’s probably best to forget about it. What’s done is done, and all that.”

  “Yes, but what I discovered is actually very interesting.”

  Oh dear. “What’s that?”

  “They only went on sale a matter of days ago.”

  “Really? That is a little surprising. Still, I’d better get cracking.”

  “You haven’t heard the best part. They’re being sold from somewhere in Washbridge.”

  “That is rather a coincidence.”

  “Isn’t it just? I’m determined to do whatever it takes to find out where the supplier is based.”

  “What good would that do?”

  “None probably; I’d just like to know.”

  And in this case, her curiosity might indeed kill the cat. If she discovered Winky had been responsible for Armi’s fall from grace, there would be hell to pay.

  “I’ll leave you to it, then, Mrs V.”

  “I almost forgot. Some flowers were delivered for you about twenty minutes ago.”

  “That husband of mine is so sweet.”

  “I don’t think they’re from Jack.”

  “Oh?”

  “I just happened to notice the card. They’re from someone called Butter, I think.”

  “Right, thanks.”

  “Look at all these orders.” Winky pointed to my computer. “Every time I refresh the screen, there are more of them. I’m going to have to ramp up production. How would you feel about earning a little extra cash?”

  “I’m not assembling cat clocks for you.”

  “I thought you could do with the money, given the state of your personal finances.”

  “Never mind my finances, you’re in big trouble with Mrs V.”

  “Because her boyfriend got canned? Cry me a river.”

  “Armi isn’t her boyfriend; he’s her husband.”

  “Still don’t care.”

  “You will when she discovers you’re the one making these clocks. As we speak, she’s trying to track down the supplier.”

  He laughed.

  “You won’t be laughing when she finds out it’s you.”

  “First, there’s zero chance of her doing that because I’m very careful to cover my tracks. And second, even if she did somehow track the sales to this office, who do you reckon she’ll conclude is selling them? You or your cat?”

  “Mrs V knows I would never do anything like that.”

  “Good luck convincing her that the cat did it.”

  That cat was way too clever for his own good.

  Mrs V had put the flowers in a vase on the window sill, and had left the card on my desk. It read: Thank you for your understanding. Butter. They looked beautiful and smelled even better. If I could afford them, I’d always have fresh flowers in the office, if only to mask the smell of cat. Speaking of which, Winky had finally got off my computer and was now under the sofa, napping.

  This was my opportunity to review the job applications, which now numbered fifteen. My initial excitement at the response soon evaporated when I realised that all but two of them were totally unsuitable. However, I was impressed by the qualifications of the two remaining applicants, who by a strange coincidence, shared the same surname. On paper, at least, there was nothing to separate Craig Robinson and Alistair Robinson. They both had an impressive academic record, and experience which was perfect for the post of office manager. I shot off emails inviting them to an interview, which I planned to hold in Coffee Games, so as not to alert Winky.

  And now to make a phone call I’d really been looking forward to; Martin Macabre was in for a major disappointment. Snigger.

  “Mr Macabre, it’s Corinne Cathway.”

  “Hello Corinne. I do wish you’d call me Martin.”

  “As you wish, Martin. I’m afraid that I have some bad news for you.”

  “Oh?”

  “There’s been a change of plan that means we’ll no longer be setting up offices in Washbridge. I’m afraid we won’t need the premises that you were kind enough to show me. I realise this must be somewhat disappointing, but—”

  “Don’t give it a second thought, Corinne. These things happen.”

  Huh? Not the reaction I’d expected or hoped for.

  He continued, “Actually, you’ve rather done me a favour. I’d no sooner shown you around than I had another enquiry for the same premises. This client is very keen to move in immediately, but I had to tell them I couldn’t give them the green light until I’d heard from you. I’d warned them they should prepare to be disappointed, but now I’ll be able to deliver good news.”

  “Oh? Right. That’s great.”

  “I do hope you’ll bear me in mind should you require premises in this area at a future date.”

  “What? Yes, of course. Anyway, I must be going.”

  “Bye, Corinne.”

  Bum! Foiled!

  Mrs V popped her head around the door. “Your sister is here, Jill.”

  “Send her in, would you?”

  Kathy looked very pleased with life. “I wanted to let you know I can move into the new shop in a couple of weeks.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Guess what I’m going to call it.”

  “The cheese factory?”

  “Be serious.”

  “I have no idea.”

  “I thought I’d call it Kathy’s Bridal Shop Two.”

  “Both shops are going to have the same name, then?”

  “No.”

  “You just said you were going to call it Kathy’s Bridal Shop too?”

  “That’s right.”

  “So, why did you just say they won’t both have the same name?”

  “Because they won’t. How do you ever manage to solve any cases? It isn’t difficult, Jill. The shop in Washbridge is called Kathy’s Bridal Shop, and the shop in West Chipping will be called Kathy’s Bridal Shop Two.”

  Huh? And double huh?

  “Whatever. I’m sure it’ll be fantastic.”

  Just then, the smile disappeared from her face. “How could you, Jill?”

  “What?” I followed her gaze to the vase on the window sill.

  “Those are the flowers that disappeared from Pete’s garden. Did you help yourself to them when you were supposed to be guarding them?”

  “Of course I didn’t. How could you even think that?”

  “Where did they come from, then?”

  “From a satisfied client.” I handed her the card. “See.”

  “Who’s Butter?”

  “That’s—err—Barry Butterworth. I carried out some surveillance for him. These are a thank you.”

  “Sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you like that.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it isn’t. You helped me to get the lease on the new shop sorted out, and then I go and accuse you of stealing flowers. I’m an awful sister.”

  “That’s true.” I hesitated. “Only joking.”

  “How about you let me take you out for dinner as a thank you? Just the two of us. My treat.”

  “Only if it’s somewhere very expensive.”

  ***

  I’d planned to go home to get some sleep ahead of my second nightshift, but before I had the chance, I had another visitor.

  “I have Daisy Flowers to see you,” Mrs V said. As she spoke, she was looking all around my office.

  “You’d better show her in. Is there something wrong, Mrs V? Have you lost something?”

  “Err—no. I’ll send her through.”

  “Hi, Daze. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?”

  “Officia
lly, I’m not here. Okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “I thought I should warn you that the recent activities of a certain relative of yours have caused a bit of a stir.”

  “You mean Grandma and her surfing extravaganza?”

  “I do indeed. You know better than anyone that I will turn a blind eye wherever I can, but what she has planned goes way beyond the pale.”

  “I know. I said as much to her; not that she took any notice.”

  “I’m hoping you can stop her from going ahead with this madness because if you can’t, I’m afraid I’ll have no choice but to take action.”

  “When you say action?”

  “I mean she’ll be taken back to Candlefield and blocked from re-entering the human world.”

  “Would you be able to stop her from coming back here? She’s very powerful, you know.”

  “I’m well aware of her standing in the community and her power, Jill, but no sup can be allowed to ride roughshod over the law like this. And, if she thinks she’ll be able to bypass the block, she’s in for a nasty surprise.”

  “Fair enough. I appreciate you coming to warn me. I’ll definitely do my best to talk her out of this crazy venture, but I’m not optimistic. You know how she can be.”

  “I certainly do, but you have to do your best.”

  After Daze had left, Mrs V came back into my office, and was once again looking all around.

  “What are you looking for, Mrs V?”

  “Have I ever mentioned my old friend, Grizelda Munch-Moore?”

  “I’m certain you haven’t. I would definitely have remembered that name.”

  “We were at school together. Of course, she wasn’t a Munch-Moore back then. She was plain old Grizelda Munch until she married Wesley.”

  “Wesley Moore?”

  “That’s right. Anyway, the point is that Grizelda used to work in counter-intelligence before she retired. Now, in between the Women’s Institute, the knitting circle and the bridge club, she still likes to keep her hand in.”

  “I’m not really sure where this is heading?”

  “The point is, Grizelda can find out things that others aren’t able to. For example, the real person behind shell companies—that kind of thing.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that. Not one little bit.

  “At my request, Grizelda did a little digging around to try to uncover who’s behind the cat clocks.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, and she came up trumps.”

  I glanced at Winky who was sound asleep under the sofa. “And what did she discover?”

  “It’s being run by someone called William Inky. Does the name ring a bell?”

  “Err—no. I can’t say it does.”

  “The curious thing is that the business appears to be based in this very building.”

  “Really? How very strange. Where could it be?”

  “That’s what I’m trying to work out.”

  “Well, it obviously isn’t in here.” I forced a laugh. “As you can see.”

  “It’s a mystery. Grizelda is adamant that it’s being run from this building.”

  “Maybe it was. Perhaps someone moved into the old Escape offices, just long enough to flood the market with cat clocks, and then did a runner?”

  Mrs V considered that for a moment. “I think you may have hit upon something there.”

  “It’s the only logical explanation.”

  “Perhaps I need to approach this from a different angle. Maybe I can track down this William Inky.”

  Oh bum!

  After what Daze had told me, I had to try to persuade Grandma to change her plans. I told Mrs V that I was going down to Ever, and that I would be going straight home from there.

  “You’re ten minutes early.” Grandma was at her desk, eating a Pot Noodle.

  “Early for what?”

  “Our daily session.”

  “The Elite Competition?”

  “What else?”

  I’d been so busy, I’d forgotten all about that. “Do you think we could give it a miss today? I have to work undercover tonight, and I was hoping to get some sleep this afternoon.”

  “You can sleep when you’re dead, which you may well end up being if you aren’t prepared for everything Ma Chivers throws at you.”

  “Okay, okay, but there’s something important I need to discuss with you first.”

  “You’d better be quick. I don’t want anything interfering with our Elite time.”

  “I wanted to ask you to reconsider the surfing extravaganza that you’re planning for Saturday. You have to cancel it.”

  “And why on earth would I do that?”

  “Daze came to see me. She said that if you go ahead, the rogue retrievers will have no option but to take action against you.”

  Grandma cackled so hard she blew a noodle down her nostril. Gross!

  “This isn’t a laughing matter, Grandma. It’s deadly serious. You could end up being banished from the human world forever.”

  Wiping her nose on the cuff of her dress, she said, “The day I worry about Daisy Flowers and her merry men, is the day I hang up my spell book.”

  “Do you have one? A spell book?”

  “I was speaking metaphorically.”

  “Right, but you—”

  “Enough of this jibber jabber. It’s time to get down to the serious business of preparing for the tournament.”

  ***

  When we were done, I magicked myself back to the house. I should have known Grandma wouldn’t take any notice of my warning. I just hoped she wouldn’t live to regret it.

  I was about to go up to bed when I spotted Mr Hosey on all fours again. I’d put up with having no car for one day, but I didn’t intend to do it again, so I went out to have a word.

  “Mr Hosey, when will this track be removed?”

  “That’s what I’m doing now, Jill. It should all be up within the hour.”

  “Right. Good. How did your world record attempt go?”

  “I’m very sad to report that it failed. It had been looking very promising until someone in the next street decided to drive over the track. I’d warned them about what I would be doing, but they’d forgotten and parked their car on the driveway. I beseeched them to take the bus, but they wouldn’t listen. That put paid to my chances.”

  “I’m really sorry to hear that. Some people are so selfish.”

  Chapter 23

  This time around, I managed to get some sleep ahead of my nightshift. When I came downstairs, Jack was in the lounge, watching TV.

  “Did you sleep well, beautiful?”

  “Yes, thanks.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be some kind of super witch?” He switched off the TV.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “That spell you cast this morning to transport me to West Chipping didn’t work.”

  “Really? Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure. After you’d magicked yourself to work, I was left standing here. I had to get a bus into town and then a train. Same coming home.”

  “I don’t know what happened there. Maybe you’re a resister.”

  “A what?”

  “That’s what sups call humans who are resistant to the effects of magic. It’s very uncommon.”

  “Do you think I might be one of these resisters, then?”

  I could see he liked the idea. “It does look that way.”

  “Does that mean if I upset your grandmother, she wouldn’t be able to use magic on me?”

  “Perhaps, but I wouldn’t advise putting it to the test. Talking of Grandma, it looks like she’s headed for big trouble.”

  “Why? What’s she done this time?”

  “It’s that stupid surfing extravaganza that she has planned. Daze popped into the office to ask me to warn her that the rogue retrievers would be watching, and if it goes ahead, it will be curtains for her.”

  “What will happen?”

 
“She’ll be taken back to Candlefield and not allowed to return to the human world.”

  “Can they do that to your grandmother? Isn’t she too powerful?”

  “Daze seems confident they can. I told Grandma what Daze had said, but she brushed it off.”

  “What will you do now?”

  “There’s nothing else I can do. I’ll have to hope she comes to her senses and has a change of mind. I’m not very hopeful, though.”

  “Had Hosey’s railway track gone when you came home?”

  “He was just taking it up.”

  “Did he say how his world record attempt went?”

  “Yeah. He wasn’t very happy because someone in the next street ran over the track and that put paid to it.”

  “Does that mean I had to take a bus and the train for nothing?”

  “Looks that way.”

  ***

  When I arrived at Chambers Precision Plastics, Luke Wells seemed much brighter than on my last visit.

  “Can I take it there haven’t been any more issues?” I asked over coffee.

  “None at all.” He put his hand to his forehead. “Touch wood.”

  “Maybe whatever it was has sorted itself out. Weird as it might seem, these things do happen.”

  “I do hope so. I really love this job and the company. I’d hate to have to leave.”

  “No more thoughts of studying to be a solicitor, then?”

  “No chance.” He grinned. “I’d die of boredom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s a great profession, and much better paid than this line of work will ever be, but it simply isn’t for me. I wish I could have made my father understand that before he died.”

  After we’d finished our drinks, Luke walked me down onto the shop floor.

  “Is it just me?” I shivered. “Or is it colder in here tonight?”

  “It is colder. The heating has been on the blink on and off for a few weeks now, but it’s been okay for the last few days.”