Our wedding shall follow directly, and I will love your son like my own.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
J. Farris.
Grace’s knees suddenly felt weak as she stood there with the letter in her hand. It seemed the answer to her prayers had come, and she could once again give Sam a father. She tried not to think of herself, and how nice it would be to be loved once more, but she couldn’t help but feel somewhat excited.
Grace quickly set the letter high on her shelf so Sam wouldn’t find it, and finished forming the loaves into pans. She didn’t know what she was going to tell him, or how he was going to take the news. Sam was a quiet kid, and didn’t have a lot of friends, so Grace told herself she wasn’t taking him away from what he needed.
After all, he needs a father more than he needs friends and school, and I suppose there are schools out there in Montana with lots of boys Sam’s age. He’ll make new friends in no time, and be better off for it. He’ll have a father again, and that’s what is important above anything else.
Grace grabbed two bowls and her ladle, and generously served stew into both of the bowls. She didn’t know how she was going to tell Sam, or if she even should. Part of her wanted to just take him to Montana and tell him what was happening when they arrived, and part of her thought she should tell him right up front.
“If he doesn’t want to go I’ll just tell him he has to.”
Grace didn’t know why she spoke out loud, but the sound of her own voice in the empty room made her jump. This whole idea put her on edge, and made her wonder if she herself was ready to make such a move. It was nearly a year since her husband had left, and half a year since he had perished.
“That’s plenty of time to heal, and I think if I am going to move on, now’s as good a time as any.”
“As good a time as any for what?”
Sam had suddenly appeared in the doorway, but he only heard the last part of what his mother had said.
“As good a time as any to eat. Supper’s ready, and I don’t want it to get cold so come along!”
“Ah Mama!”
Sam whined but he obeyed, and Grace smiled. She took his hands in her own, and they gave thanks for the meal.
Grace then asked Sam to tell her about his day, and before long she was amidst tales of giants and dragons and everything else his little imagination could share.
Chapter 3 – The Move
“Ah Mama! Why do I have to bring all this stuff anyway?”
“I already told you, Sam, we’re going on a trip, and you don’t want to forget anything. Now, do you have your favorite toy?”
“Yes’m.”
“What about your clothes?”
“Yes’m”
“And that cap your father gave you.”
“On my head!”
Sam pointed to the oversized cap that sat on his head sideways, and gave his mother a mischievous grin. Grace straightened his hat and jacket, then looked into the mirror and fixed her own bonnet so it was straight and prim against her brown hair.
“I think we’re ready then. Now, remember what I told you… I want to go on an adventure, and that adventure may keep us from coming back. Are you certain you don’t need anything else out of your room?”
Sam looked at his mother with a funny look in his eye and nodded. He had never seen his mother act this way before, and it made him wonder what she was up to. What kind of trip could they be taking that would prevent them from returning?
“Come along then.”
His mother smiled and picked up her satchel, then held her hand out to her son. He sighed and put his hand in hers, and they were off.
Grace hurried through the street as quickly as she could with her young son in tow. The last thing she wanted to do was be late. She didn’t know if the stage waited or not, but this morning had been a nightmare trying to get everything done, especially since Sam wasn’t sure what was going on.
“Slow down Mama! I can’t keep up!”
Sam was carrying his own bag, which was overstuffed and heavy. Grace stopped in the middle of the street and looked at him, then sighed and set down her own bag.
“Here, how ‘bout we switch? You carry mine and I’ll carry yours. I promise we are almost there.”
“Where we going?”
“I already told you, it’s a surprise, and you don’t want to spoil it now. Come on.”
Grace heaved his heavy bag beneath her arm and again offered her his hand, but he refused. Sam picked up his mother’s bag and tucked it beneath his own arm, then hurried to walk beside her, whistling a tune the entire way. After what felt like an eternity, they arrived at the general store, and Grace set down her things.
“Sam, today we are going to do something very exciting. We’re riding the stagecoach!”
Sam’s eye widened with wonder as he heard this, then he let out a low whistle from under his breath.
“Gee whiz Mama! I’ve always wanted to ride the stage! Where is it taking us?”
“That part is also a surprise, I’ll tell you more when we are on the road, if you sit quietly and behave. Deal?”
“Deal!”
They sat side by side on the steps in front of the general store, waiting for the stage to roll in. As Grace sat, she looked up and down the street, fighting a sudden urge of doubt that swept over her.
Is it really the best idea to move away from here? You know people here, and they know you. And Sam’s friends are here. Maybe you’re making a mistake.
“There it is, Mama!”
Sam’s shrill voice broke into her thoughts, startling her. She snapped back to reality and looked up the road where Sam was pointing. Dust was rising up behind the stage, and the horses’ hooves were pounding hard on the ground. Grace was amazed she hadn’t heard it before.
Well, it’s now or never.
Before any more doubts crept into her mind, Grace gave the driver her tickets, and set Sam up in the stage. He squealed and bounced around inside, then sat down and kicked his legs under the chair.
“Sit quietly, Sam! There’s going to be other passengers!”
Grace scolded him, but Sam was undeterred by what his mother said. Instead, he turned to look out the window and loudly hummed the same tune he had been whistling on their way over to the store.
Grace sighed and shook her head, then climbed into the stagecoach herself. She sat down next to her son, straightened his hat once more, and smiled.
“This is it, my Little One. We are getting ready to start our new adventure. Are you ready?”
Sam nodded and kept looking out the window. The stagecoach driver finally finished loading the mail onto the top of the coach with himself, then shouted that they were ready to go. Grace leaned out of the window and raised her hand, showing him they were ready, and with that, they were off.
Sam squealed with delight as the horses plunged ahead, and he began talking so quickly that Grace could hardly understand what he was saying. She finally let his chatter melt into the rest of the background noise, and watched out the window as the houses and stores faded away into fields and trees.
She felt she was making the right decision, and she told herself the doubts were just nerves talking. After all, there were hundreds of mail order bride ads, and her son wasn’t going to change anything. Sam was an easy going child, in spite of his shyness, and she had full confidence he was going to love his new life.
I wonder if now would be a good time to tell him…
Grace looked at her son seated on the bench next to her, and smiled. He wasn’t paying any attention to her or anything else in the stage, he was so enthralled with the world rushing by outside the window. Grace took a deep breath and shook her head.
Let him enjoy himself for now, I can always tell him when we get closer to town.
Chapter 4 – The Arrival
“Sam, how would you feel about having a new father?”
Grace had been debating with hersel
f for the past couple of hours, trying to decide how to best bring it up, but the words slipped out before she had decided on the best way to approach the topic.
“A new father? Why would I need a new father?”
Sam looked up at her inquisitively, causing Grace to shift in her seat. She hadn’t had any idea how Sam was going to take the news, but she certainly wasn’t expecting him to ask her that question.
“I was thinking it would be nice for both of us if I were to marry again. Then you would have someone to look up to, we would have someone who could take care of us, and maybe your nightmares would start to go away.”
Grace let her voice trail off, uncertain as to whether she ought to continue with her speech or not.
I don’t think he likes this idea. Maybe I should have said something before now.
“Well, what do you think?”
Sam sat silently on the bench beside his mother, still kicking his feet back and forth with the sway of the coach.
“I don’t think I want one, Mother. I miss the one that I had.”
He didn’t look at her as he spoke, and now he completely turned away, placing both of his elbows on the sill of the window and gazing out at the passing landscape. Grace felt at a loss for words. She wanted Sam to be happy, and she felt that marry Jasper was going to be the answer to that.
“Sam, I have a surprise for you.”
Sam turned again, his eyes wide with anticipation.
“We are moving to Montana!”
“What do you mean?”
Sam looked confused, even though his mother tried to make it sound very exciting.
“I mean, we aren’t going back home. We are going to get a new home. We are going to live with a very nice man, his name is Jasper. He owns a big house with a lot of land and all kinds of animals. Would you like that?”
A slow smile slowly crossed over Sam’s face, and he nodded.
“Golly! Do you think he has pigs? I’ve always wanted to have a pet pig.”
“I don’t know, Sam, but he has horses, and chickens… and a dog.”
Sam whistled under his breath and looked back out the window. A feeling of relief swept over Grace as she looked out of her own window.
He may not be ready to have a father, but he doesn’t seem to mind the idea of living with Jasper. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him I am getting married yet. Let him meet Jasper and see the animals, then I’ll tell him the news.
Feeling confident in her new plan, Grace started talking to Sam about the things they could see out the window. Although there was still that feeling of doubt in her stomach, Grace decided to ignore it.
Things were going to work out for them. They just had to.
“This is our final stop, Sam! What do you think?”
The stage rumbled to a stop outside of the post office. Sam had his head out the window, and his mother held onto his pants to keep him from slipping out of the stage and into the street.
“There’s a lot of people on horses… and looks like those boys are playing marbles! I think I will like it here.”
Sam pulled himself into the stage and turned to his mother, who smiled at him.
“Good, because I think I am going to like it here, too. Now, listen to me. I am going to go out there, and I want you to stay in here. I are going to meet that man Jasper I told you about, then I will come back and get you, can you stay here and keep quiet for a few minutes?”
Sam looked a little disappointed that he couldn’t go with his mother but he nodded.
“That’s my good boy. I’ll be right back.”
Grace kissed her son on his forehead, then slipped out of the stage and onto the street. Sam leaned over into her window to watch where she went, and was surprised when she stopped by a tall man in front of the store window.
Sam couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could see that his mother looked happy. The man gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she turned to come back to the stage.
Sam ducked back inside and moved back to his seat.
“We are all set, Sam! Come on, let’s grab our things, and I have someone I want you to meet.”
Shyness suddenly overcame Sam, and he didn’t think he could move. He saw that man behind his mother, and felt sick from nerves.
Grace pulled open the door of the stage and held her arms out to her son.
“Sam come on! The stagecoach has to get going, and you don’t want to hold him up.”
Reluctantly Sam slid over to his mother, and let her lift him out of the stage and onto the ground.
“Hello Sammy Boy!”
The tall man spoke loudly, and Sam wanted to cry. He ran behind his mother’s skirts and hid his face in the folds.
“Sam, this is Jasper Farris, the nice man we are going to live with. Can you say hello?”
Grace tried to move out of the way, but Sam clung to her skirts and shook his head.
“He’s a little shy at first, but don’t worry, once he warms up he won’t ever stop talking.”
Grace spoke with a nervous laugh, embarrassed that her son wouldn’t move.
“That’s quite all right. The preacher is still in town for the next couple of days, but I thought we could get things settled right away. Shall we?”
Jasper held his arm out to Grace, who slipped her hand into the crook of his arm.
“Come along, Sam, I have an errand to do, then we can head to the house.”
She spoke softly, and grabbed Sam’s hand.
Sam walked on the other side of his mother, keeping her in between him and his view of Jasper. They walked quickly to the church, but Sam kept his head down. He felt shy, he felt embarrassed, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be here after all.
More than anything, he just wanted to go home.
Chapter 5 – Life on the Ranch
Grace hoped life in Montana would change for the better for her and her son, but it didn’t look as though Sam was any happier here than he was back in Boston. He spent most of his time out in the barn, and seldom spent any time at all with Jasper.
The days passed, and Grace found she had less and less time to spend with him. Life on the ranch was a busy one, and she spent much of her days in the kitchen. Her marriage to Jasper wasn’t what she thought it was going to be, either. Jasper spent most of his days out in the barn or out on the range, and was seldom there with either her or Sam.
“Why doesn’t Jasper let me ride with him?”
Sam was picking at his biscuits and eggs while his mother washed up the dishes.
“You know he’s busy out there, trying to keep all of the cattle in line. It must be hard when you have one cow going one way, and one cow going another. Don’t you think?”
“I guess.”
Sam continued to poke at his eggs, and Grace sighed. She had hoped this change would help snap him out of his depression, but he only seemed to be growing worse since they had arrived.
“Try to eat something, Sammy Dear. You know you need to get your strength up, school is going to be starting again soon.”
“We still have plenty of summer left, and I don’t want to go to school.”
Grace turned around, surprised that her son had talked back to her. Sam was always so quiet, it was rare for her to get an answer out of him at all, let alone an answer like that.
“I think you’re going to like school here, there’s lots of kids your age, and they’re all from different ranches. You will have so much in common! Maybe you’ll even make a new friend or two.”
“I said I don’t want to go to school! I don’t want to make new friends! I want my old friends!”
Grace nearly dropped the dish she was holding. She may have been able to overlook Sam making a remark to her here and there, but she was not going to overlook his yelling at her. She was his mother, and no matter how upset he was, he was going to treat her with respect.
“Don’t you talk to me like that, young man! You mind your manners and your tongue when you speak to me.”
> Grace fought to keep her own voice under control. She was furious, but she was also sad. It was extremely rare for Sam to ever disagree with her, and she had never fought with him like this. All she wanted to do was wrap him up in a hug, but she couldn’t move.
“Why! Why should I mind my manners? You don’t care about me! You just care about you! That’s why you brought me out here in the first place!”
Sam was yelling now, with tears running down his face. Grace was crying, too, but she didn’t know what to do. Same couldn’t speak to her like this, but it pained her to think of him hating it out here.
“Samuel! That’s enough! When your father gets back inside I-“
“He’s not my father! He’s never going to be my father! Pa’s dead, Ma! He’s gone!”
Sam interrupted his mother in the middle of her sentence, and he now jumped down from the chair he was sitting in. There was more than half of his breakfast left on the plate, but he didn’t care.
“You sit back down there Samuel! Come back!”
But Sam ran out the door and headed for the hen house as fast as he could run. Grace stood in the kitchen, tears running down her face, watching him go. She didn’t know if she should follow him, or if she should just give him space. Never would Grace have thought that they might fight like this. It was so out of character for her and Sam both.
Grace turned back to the washbasin and buried her face in her hands. She splashed some fresh water on her face to get rid of the tear stains, and she took a deep breath in.
“Is everything all right in here?”
Grace jumped at the sound of Jasper’s voice, and turned around. She smiled, trying to hide the shakiness in her voice.
“Yes, I was just having a conversation with Sam. School is going to be starting soon, and I wanted to know if he was ready.”
Jasper looked at her, then at the table with the food still on it. It was evident that he wasn’t satisfied with her answer, but he didn’t pursue it further.
“Is he going to waste that food?”
Jasper looked at the food on the table, then back at Grace. She followed his gaze to the plate, and she shook her head.
[2016] Finding My Cowboy Page 32
