by Mia Carson
I took the McCormicks’ order, and since we weren’t slammed busy and I’d just checked on my other customers, I returned to their table. Not wanting to invite the wrath of Dolly, I hovered but didn’t sit down.
“I can’t tell you what it means to me to have you believe me,” I said, speaking as softly as I could so only they could hear. “Disappointing you was harder to take than almost anything else.”
“Why didn’t you come to us?” Judy asked. “I’m not blaming you for what you did, but when you didn’t want to see us anymore, it made you…well…”
“Look like I’d done something wrong, I know. I’m sorry for my behavior. It was stupid of me. I was so ashamed. I didn’t even know how I’d gotten pregnant until I talked to Cat. I was sick with dread. I was afraid to face you and—”
Judy took my hand. “Don’t worry about it anymore. I can understand how hard it must have been.” She looked around and motioned me closer. “I’m ashamed to say, Will and I both thought you and Levi were…being physical…long before you were.”
I straightened. “You know?”
She nodded. “Levi told us.”
“When?”
She glanced at Will with a questioning look. “A month or so ago, right before the harvest started,” he said. “We were talking about you and I was busting his chops, explaining that you getting pregnant was exactly why we kept preaching to him to be careful. I said I knew you and he were…” his voice trailed off as he whirled his hand a tight circle, indicating I needed to fill in the blank. “Anyway, that’s when he told me that you and he hadn’t, at least not until just before he left.”
I smiled. “Yeah, my parents didn’t believe it either.” I glanced around. The room seemed quieter than normal and people were watching. This was too public. “I need to go. Your food will be out in a few minutes,” I said as I backed away.
Diane was dying to ask questions, but I ignored her. This was between me, Judy, and Will, and didn’t concern her. Levi said his parents would believe him, that all they needed was a scrap of evidence, but I hadn’t expected their apology to be so soon or so heart felt. Judy and Mom were a lot alike, kind souls who didn’t want to hurt anyone. I could tell Judy was eating herself alive, and I felt bad for her. The McCormicks hadn’t been cruel to me, only indifferent, and that had hurt most of all. If they’d been nasty perhaps I could have hardened myself against them, as I had some others, but having them ignore me and look at me with such disappointment continued to cut deep.
That was behind us now. I’d forgiven them, and in time, I’d forget the hurt. I would more than meet them halfway, if for no other reason than Levi’s sake. The murmur of conversation in the dining room was returning to normal. I picked up Will and Judy’s plates from the window, clamping down hard on my emotions. I was emotionally unstable at the moment, even the simple act of serving their food and not having to face their disappointed gaze made me want to laugh, or cry, or do both at the same time.
As I approached, Judy didn’t look happy and Will had reached across the table to place his hand on hers. “There you go,” I said, sliding their plates in front of them as Will drew his hand back. “Can I get you anything else?”
“No, thank you,” Will said, glancing at me before his eyes returned to his wife. His voice was kind, but he was clearly more concerned with Judy than me.
Judy glanced at me, and she looked how I felt. I crouched down and put my arms around her. It took every ounce of my will to not cry again as I kissed her on the cheek.
“It’s going to be okay, Mom,” I whispered. I’d never called her that before, and I felt her shoulders shake as she whimpered softly. She gasped and gathered herself before she placed her hand on mine and nodded. I rose and hurried away before I lost what little control I had.
When I stepped behind the counter, Dolly approached. Dolly ran the counter and supervised the kitchen, leaving her two waiters to work the tables. “You okay?”
I sniffed and smiled. “Yeah, I think so.”
She glanced between the McCormick table and me before touching me on the arm in support, her lips pulling into a smile as she turned away.
The rest of the evening was normal. After the McCormicks left, going about my job allowed me to gain some control over my emotions. The emotional fragility disappeared and the glow of contentment and peace began to fill me. I couldn’t stop smiling, and my feet were barely touching the floor as the end of my shift approached.
I saw Levi’s truck pull to as stop at the curb outside. I glanced at the clock. I had five more minutes before my shift ended. It was just seconds after eight when the door opened, and Levi and Abby stepped in.
“Mommy!” Abby cried, running toward me.
“Hey, Munchkin,” I said as I crouched to pick her up.
“Levi let me ride in his truck!”
“He did? Was it fun?”
“Yeah!”
“Let Mommy get her things and we’ll go home.”
Hearing I was leaving, Levi turned to go. “Levi!” Dolly called. “Why don’t you wait in here? It’s cold out there.”
“Uh, sure, okay. Thanks.”
“Can I interest you in a piece of pie and cup of coffee?”
I pursed my lips as a smile tugged at them. It looked like Levi was welcome again.
He ambled toward Dolly. “I would, Dolly, but Mrs. Johnson fed me dinner and I’m stuffed. Can I take you up on that offer another time?”
Dolly smiled. “Sure. You’re welcome any time.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry about the ruckus the other day.”
“I understand why you did it, but don’t let it happen again or there won’t be any pie for you.”
“No, ma’am, I won’t.”
I turned and carried Abby with me to the back where I clocked out, gathered my things, and returned to the front. “Ready.”
“I want to ride with Levi!” Abby said, squirming to get down.
“Not me?” I asked, putting on a sad face.
“I want to ride in his truck.”
I snickered. “She’s a Texas girl, alright. Come on. You can ride with Levi.” He put his hand down and she took it. “I’ll see you at home.”
He gave me a quick kiss, inside where everyone would see. “See you there.” We stepped outside, and he looked down at Abby. “Should we race Mommy?”
“Yeah!”
“Okay, we have to hurry!” he said.
“Come on!” Abby cried, dragging Levi to the passenger door.
“I’m going to beat you!” I called before I took off running for my car.
There was no way I could beat them, not with his truck sitting right there, but Abby squealed in delight anyway. It had been a long time since I felt so carefree.
He must have had trouble with the car seat, or he was stalling to make it more exciting for Abby, because he was just backing out of the parking space when I stopped at the stop sign on the side street that gave access to the back of Dolly’s. I heard the tires squeal on his truck as he accelerated away, and I imagined Abby laughing in excitement and delight in her car seat. Why couldn’t Levi be her father instead of that asshole Steve? He was already more of a father to her that Steve was, though that wasn’t saying much.
I followed them to my trailer, pulling in immediately behind them and parking next to the passenger side of Levi’s truck. “We beat you!” Abby crowed as Levi lifted her out of the vehicle.
“You sure did,” I said as I walked past them, smiling at our little game. “A kiss for the winner?” I asked after we stepped into my kitchen.
He put Abby down and pulled me to him, watching my eyes as he smiled at me. “I think I deserve that, don’t you?”
He was so warm, and having him holding me against him was starting to warm me in a way that had nothing to do with body temperature. “At least that.”
We kept it clean since Abby was watching, but he’d better be planning on staying tonight, otherwise I might have to bind, gag, and
throw him on my bed so I could have my way with him. I pulled back from the kiss, but he made no move to release me, which was fine with me. Abby, apparently bored with watching us, wandered down the hall to her bedroom.
“Can you stay long enough to read her a story?” I asked.
“I can manage that.”
I smiled. “Can you stay long enough to tell me a story?”
“Maybe. What would you like to hear?”
“How about a story about how the gallant knight returns to his kingdom, rescues the princess, and she rewards him with a kiss.” I paused and brought my lips closer to his. “A kiss, and maybe a little more.”
“I like that story,” he whispered before taking my lips.
Without Abby watching us, he kissed me properly, and I could feel the desire that had been simmering rise to a boil. The next hour, while I got Abby in bed, was going to be torture.
I was propped against the door as I listened to Levi read. “Goodnight stars… goodnight air… goodnight noises, everywhere,” he read before slowly closing the book.
He stood and kissed Abby on the forehead before she grabbed him around the neck, pulled him down, and kissed him on the cheek.
“Night, Abby. Sweet dreams,” he said softly.
When she released him, he tugged at her bed linens and stepped back to make room for me. Her bedroom was so small there was barely enough room for both of us to fit in there with her furniture. I sat down on the edge of her bed.
“Night, kiddo,” I said, giving her my goodnight kiss. “You sleep good, okay?” I touched her on the nose to make her smile.
She nodded and yawned spectacularly. It wouldn’t be long before she was asleep. We slipped out, flipping off the light as we did. I wanted to take Levi straight to bed, but we needed to give Abby a half-hour or so before my bed started squeaking.
“She’s such a sweetheart,” Levi murmured as we snuck back to the living room.
“Yeah, she’s a good kid.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
When we reached the living room, he took my arm and turned me to face him. “Something’s wrong.”
“Nothing concerning you.”
“If you’re unhappy, it concerns me.”
“Not unhappy. It’s just…”
“What?”
“You’re so good with Abby. I wish you were her father instead of Steve.”
He shrugged. “I can still be her dad, if everything works out.”
“You mean that?”
“Of course. You’re a package deal, remember?”
I smiled. “I remember.”
“The fact Steve doesn’t want to have anything to do with her just proves what a moron he is. What did he say when you hit him with the paternity test?”
“I didn’t.”
“What do you mean, you didn’t?”
“Why would I? He’d been bragging all over town about how he’d bareback fucked me behind your back. When I turned up pregnant, he was hung out by his own words.”
He looked at me, his eyes wide. “You didn’t make him get tested to prove he was the father?”
I blinked at him, wondering why he was so concerned about having Steve tested. “Why would I? The only other guy I slept with was you, and you were wearing a condom.” He was staring at me, his eyes wide as he first paled and then reddened. “Levi, what?”
He shook his head. “It’s probably nothing, but our first time, in the truck, I had a problem with the condom.”
I flashed hot and the entire room wavered for a second. “What?” I murmured.
“After we made love the first time, I didn’t pull out right away. Remember?” I shook my head, my heart thudding in my chest so hard it nearly drowned out his words. “Well, I do. When Mom and Dad told me you were pregnant, I at first thought it was mine.”
“What are you saying?” I whispered. “The condom came off? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It didn’t come off, but when I started to pull out, I could tell it was slipping off, so I held it with my fingers as I pulled out. I didn’t think much about it at the time because, well, it didn’t actually come off. But I was so damn slick with my come…”
“Oh my God, oh my God,” I mumbled to myself. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t think there was anything to tell. Mom and Dad said it was Steve’s, and I didn’t think anything else about it. A paternity test is pretty standard in cases like this, and I assumed you had one.”
I shook my head, reeling from Levi’s news, but the more I thought about it, the less likely it seemed Abby was Levi’s. “You’re sure the condom didn’t come off?”
“Positive. I’d have told you if it had. I felt it slipping off, I held it with my fingers, and it came out with me.”
“Do you suppose it leaked?”
He held my gaze for a long time. “I didn’t think so at the time, but I honestly don’t know.”
I could feel my life spiraling out of control again. “What are we going to do?”
He held my gaze for a long moment. “I’m going to take you to bed and make love to you. Tomorrow, I’ll order a kit and get tested. If I’m the father, great. If not, then it has to be Steve and nothing changes. We should keep this between us until we know for sure, though.”
“And if you are?”
He smiled and his eyes welled with tears. “Then I’ll be the father of a beautiful little girl.”
“You’re not upset?”
His face softened even more. “How could I be upset? I love you. We always talked about starting a family. My only regret is that I missed being here when you were pregnant, getting to see her born, and the four years of her growing up.” He pulled me to him and kissed me gently. “I hope she is mine. There’s so much I want to do with her, so much time to make up.” He touched my face. “She’s so much like her mother, how could I not love her, no matter who her father is?”
So much had happened today I was overcome with emotion. Levi’s family had accepted me, and finding out that Abby could be Levi’s child overwhelmed me and I began to cry. Steve had rejected Abby from the start, but Levi was completely different. He was willing to be her dad, even if he wasn’t her father, but more importantly, he hoped she was his.
I fell into his arms and cried for a long time, unable to stop.
Levi
I might be a father! The thought kept bouncing around inside my head like hyperactive squirrel on speed. I might be a father! The more I thought about it the more excited about the idea I became. I couldn’t wait to tell Mom and Dad they were grandparents!
I forced myself to calm down and not get my hopes up. Nothing was proven. I had to be tested first, but if it turned out Steve was Abby’s father, and he probably was, I would be crushed with disappointment despite my efforts to keep my hopes in check.
“Hey! Hey!” I whispered. “Why are you crying?”
Ella looked up at me, her eyes red and puffy, but she’d never looked more beautiful. “So much has happened, and now this.”
“Shhh…” I whispered. “This could be great news. If Abby’s mine, you can kick that asshole Steve out of your life forever. That’s a good thing, right?”
She sobbed again, holding to me with desperate strength. Not knowing what else to do, I held her, saying nothing, until her tears began to slow. She sniffed and wiped her eyes before getting up, going to the kitchen, and blowing her nose. I followed.
“What’s wrong, Ella? I thought you’d be happy.” I felt sick as a sudden thought occurred to me. “Are you angry with me for maybe getting you pregnant?”
“No. I don’t know,” she said, flailing her hands around her face. “I don’t know what I think anymore. Things are happening too fast. I feel like my life is out of control…again. You should have told me.”
“I didn’t know!” I protested. “If I thought there was a chance I’d gotten you pregnant, I would have. Why didn’t you have Steve tested?�
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“You’re blaming this on me?” she asked, her tone cold.
“No. There’s no reason to blame anyone for anything. We need to just relax until—”
“Relax? I don’t even know who the fucking father of my child is!” she yelled.
“Shhh! You’ll wake Abby.” She glared at me as I made placating gestures with my hands. “I know a lot has happened in the last couple of months, and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before, but I swear to God, I didn’t know there was a reason too. I hope Abby is mine, I really do, but honestly, I think it’s unlikely. If so, you’re getting upset for no reason.”
“Then why did you even say anything?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have. But if there’s even a chance she’s mine, I want to know.”
“Why? Most guys run as far and as fast as they can when they get some girl—”
“I’m not most guys, and you’re not some girl. Don’t you get that? I love you, Ella. If Abby’s mine, I want to know because I still plan to marry you some day, and I want that little girl to have a real daddy, not some piece of shit asshole of a father who doesn’t give a shit about her.”
“You still want to marry me?”
“Yes! Now that I know the truth about what happened, why wouldn’t I?”
“So much has happened. I’m damaged goods.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Nonsense. You’re as perfect now as you ever were, but I understand what you mean about so much has happened. I just found out I might be a father, but that doesn’t matter. I still love you, Ella, and I want this to work between us. I still want to do all those things we talked about with you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. No.” I paused as I gathered my thoughts. “Yes, I’m sure I want to marry you and start a family, but after all we’ve been through, I don’t want to rush into anything. I’ve hurt you enough. I want to be sure it’s what you still want, and that we can get past this fucked up shit we’re having to deal with.”
