He sensed loneliness beneath the brave words but he had the sense to keep his observation to himself. “School wasn’t my thing. I joined the army as soon as I was able.”
“Makes sense, given your current field.”
He laughed. “Yeah, not a lot of jobs out there for former army rangers. My skill set isn’t exactly directly transferrable to the civilian sector.”
“I suppose not. But then I’m not sure I’d feel as safe with an insurance salesman guarding me, either.”
He chuckled, conceding her point. “Probably not.” Finishing his sauce before grabbing the spaghetti squash from the oven to pull out the fleshy strands, he said, “You’re an interesting woman.”
Caitlin blushed but she still agreed with him. “Yes, I am.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a contradiction?”
Her expression melted into wary confusion. “No. In what way?”
“Well, you’re clearly an introvert but you work for a company known for their dangerous associations, which tells me that on some level you crave adventure. You’re private but not afraid to assert yourself when the situation calls for it. I don’t know, you’re just hard to categorize.”
“Should I be flattered or worried?”
He shrugged. “My observation isn’t meant to flatter or worry. I make my living by being observant and, to some extent, figuring people out.”
“And you’re saying that I’m hard to figure out?”
“Definitely.”
His breath hitched slightly as her tongue darted to tease her bottom lip. The unintentionally arousing gesture punched him in the gut.
The smell of gently simmering sauce filled the small kitchen but there was more than savory marinara in the air. His heart rate quickened as their eyes met and his gaze dipped to that sweet, petulant pucker. He knew it wasn’t right and that he should pull back but they were both being pulled and it was almost mesmerizing.
“I think your sauce is burning,” she whispered, her pupils dilated as he instinctively leaned forward, his eyes on the prize. Sauce. Saucy. Yeah, she was saucy all right.
But suddenly, what she’d said actually penetrated the fog in his brain and he whipped his head around to see that, in fact, his sauce was burning and he hurried to turn down the burner. The quick motion helped evaporate the haze, leaving him to question what the hell was wrong with him.
He needed to apologize. Drawing a chagrined breath, he turned to find Caitlin had split the kitchen, leaving him, the scorched sauce and his unfortunate lapse in judgment behind.
* * *
Had he been about to kiss her? Caitlin couldn’t quite process what had almost happened.
Did an almost-kiss count?
Was it inappropriate to feel disappointed that his damn sauce had ruined what might’ve been the most exciting kiss of her life?
She touched her lips from behind the safety of her bedroom door. He had exquisite lips. Who was she kidding, the man was crafted from perfection. It’d probably been on his résumé when he’d applied to Red Wolf.
Adonis-like face: check.
Greek-god physique: check.
Lethal in every way: check.
Well, she didn’t actually know much about Red Wolf but it sounded exotic, and exotic employers had extraordinary requirements.
Her stomach yowled. God, she was hungry. Whatever he’d been cooking had smelled incredible. Way better than convenience-store pizza. How was she even alive? Zak was right—she treated her body like a garbage can.
But she really hated vegetables.
She much preferred food that was fast, greasy and probably loaded with carcinogens.
Caitlin smothered a giggle. Perhaps Zak’s casual observation was on point—she was a contradiction. She knew better, she understood the mechanics of biology and the necessity of good nutrition, and yet, she rarely ate anything that could remotely qualify as good for her.
Snack cakes were her weakness.
It was a wonder she wasn’t four hundred pounds. Her metabolism was holding strong for now but she knew it was just a matter of time before the dam broke and her metabolism slowed to nothing.
She startled at a sound outside her window. Probably an owl or something. Or a raccoon. Still, after quickly composing herself, she returned to the kitchen to find Zak had set a nice table and the food was ready and waiting.
“You returned. I was afraid I was going to have to leave your dinner outside your door.”
“I just left to use the bathroom,” she lied. If he knew that she’d fled like the devil was on her tail, he politely didn’t mention it. She sniffed at the aroma in the air. “Smells good.”
“Embarrassing sauce moment aside, it turned out pretty great.”
“You didn’t have to do this,” she said but her mouth was watering. “I don’t expect you to cook for me.”
“We both gotta eat,” he said by way of simple logic. “Have a seat.”
She slid into the chair opposite him and quietly noted that no one had ever sat at this table with her. Certainly no one of the opposite sex. She was fiercely protective of her private space, and up to this point, she’d never felt the need to change that fact.
But now Zak, the beautiful bodyguard with the soulful eyes and the wonderful physique, was sitting across from her as if they were buddies.
Or lovers.
A shudder traveled her spine and she covered it by reaching for the weird squash masquerading as pasta. “Okay, so how does this work exactly?” she asked, grimacing a little as she tried to scoop the stuff onto her plate. Just pretend that it’s pasta. Don’t think about it being squash, which you hate. It’s pasta, delicious pasta.
Zak smiled and ladled some marinara on her squash for her. “Just like that. Now sprinkle some cheese on that bad boy and you’ve got yourself an amazing, delicious and healthy meal.”
“You sound like an infomercial.” Caitlin cautiously forked some squash with a generous helping of marinara. “Here goes nothing...” She stuck it in her mouth with as much courage as she could muster. She only hoped it didn’t come back up, because that would be terribly embarrassing. She waited for the inevitable message from her brain rejecting what was in her mouth. But it was actually very good and the texture of the squash didn’t make her want to vomit.
“Well?”
“It’s not disgusting,” she admitted, forking another bite. “But I’m not going to break into song about it.”
He laughed. “High praise. I’ll take it.”
She risked a smile before taking another bite. “So you like to cook?”
“I do,” he admitted, even blushing a little as if being handy in the kitchen was something he usually hid. “But to be honest, I just like to eat, and seeing as I’m on the road a lot, figuring out how to make something I’d like to eat seemed the logical thing to do.”
“Family recipes?” she asked.
“Hell, no. My family wasn’t exactly Full House. Not a lot of happy memories in that photo album.”
“I’m sorry.” She thought of her own childhood. While it wasn’t particularly exciting, it hadn’t been traumatic, either. Her childhood had been adequate. That was the best way to describe how she’d been raised. Two busy, very smart parents, an average high school experience and a stellar university education, which had then transitioned to a career she was proud of. “My parents weren’t much on the kitchen scene, either. Not because they were bad or anything but because they were super busy. Research scientists. We ate a lot of TV dinners.”
“Your parents are pretty big deals in their fields, right?”
She supposed he’d done his homework. “They are well respected,” she confirmed but couldn’t quite help the frown.
“Something wrong?”
“I’m not used to people knowing my backstory before I’m r
eady to share it,” she admitted.
Zak understood. “Probably feels pretty invasive.”
Caitlin nodded. “I know it’s your job but I’m naturally a private person. Knowing that you’re probably aware of everything in my past makes me feel more exposed than if I was standing in front of you naked.”
He choked a little. “Sorry, sorry,” he said, his eyes watering as he reached for his water glass. “Wrong pipe.”
But her heart rate tripped a little. Did he like the idea of seeing her naked? Had she fallen down Alice’s rabbit hole? Men like Zak did not fantasize about seeing her in her birthday suit. She wasn’t a curvy seductress by any means. In fact, she’d always seen herself as built like a boy, straight up and down, no hips and barely any breasts. She’d long ago given up any hope that she’d wake up one day with a figure that stopped traffic.
“What’s happening here?” she asked, unable to stand the questions in her head. “I... I’m not good with subtlety. Are you attracted to me? Because I’m getting some weird signals that I don’t know how to process. If I’m off-base, I apologize for making things more awkward than they need to be but I need to know which way the wind is blowing so I can decide how to proceed.”
And, just like that, she’d ruined a perfectly lovely dinner.
Chapter 8
Say no.
Zak knew the right thing to do. He knew protocol like the back of his hand. Messing around on assignment was a no-no.
And for the most part, unlike CJ or Xander, he played by the rules.
But he wanted to break rules with Caitlin.
There was something about her that lit him up like a Disneyland parade. He couldn’t explain it but he knew enough to know that he had to shut whatever was happening down.
He swallowed and forced a smile. “Um, I like you. You’re fascinating, for sure, but it’s always best to keep things professional, you know?”
He hadn’t exactly refuted what she was picking up but the message was clear enough. Even though two high points of color in her cheeks betrayed her embarrassment, she nodded stiffly and agreed. “Excellent. I feel the same. My mistake. I’m not very good at social cues. I apologize for misreading the situation.”
“No worries. How’s your dinner?”
“Good. Very good,” she answered but he could tell she wanted to disappear. Damn it. He should’ve kept whatever was happening with him on lock. It was his fault for making the situation uncomfortable. “Good stuff.”
“Better than box pizza?” he coaxed, trying to make her smile.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said. “Squash will never be pasta no matter how hard it tries but it doesn’t make me want to throw up, so there’s that.”
“Fair enough.”
A moment of silence passed between them and Zak knew he was losing her fast. Just when he’d started to make some inroads, he had to go and screw things up.
“Tell me about your project.”
She looked up, question in her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I mean I’ve got intel but I’d like to hear from you what we’re dealing with.”
She seemed relieved at having something solid to hold on to and said, “Oh, of course. Yes, well, Tessara was charged with reverse engineering a cure for this nasty biological agent that had the potential of destroying entire populations in record time.”
“Yeah, I don’t know about you but...that’s scary as shit.”
“It was magnificent.” At his confused frown, she clarified with a blush. “Yes, it was very scary but there’s something incredible about how efficient it was in its ability to destroy. I know it’s hard to understand but the beauty in its deadly efficacy was astounding. I was quite impressed with the genetic makeup. You know, people think it’s so easy to engineer viruses because of what they see on TV but creating a new virus on this scale isn’t like putting together a stew. Most times the genetic code collapses in on itself.”
He cast a rueful glance her way. “All that aside, leaking out my insides isn’t my idea of beauty in action.”
Her blush deepened as if she realized she came off sounding like a psychopath. “Oh, goodness, no, of course not. The host dies in a most horrific way,” she agreed, shoveling a healthy bite into her. “Internal organs liquefying is really gross and painful, too,” she said around chewing. “I’m not saying that anyone should ever be subjected to such a horrible thing but from a scientific standpoint, it’s really impressive.”
He grimaced but he was amused at how nonplussed she remained while talking about something really awful in a clinical setting. “What was your first thought when you started working on the assignment?”
Caitlin leaned back, remembering with a sparkle in her eyes. “I thought, ‘This is a game changer. This is the kind of work that makes or breaks careers.’ I was excited,” she admitted.
“You weren’t scared?”
“Not even for a second.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way but you’re a little scary yourself.”
She laughed. “Me? How so?”
“Because most people would run from a situation that potentially puts them in that kind of danger. Yeah, there are safety protocols but mistakes happen. We’ve all seen Outbreak. All it takes is a rip in your hazmat suit and you’re a goner.”
“That’s why we’re very careful. Being OCD, as you put it, and being Type A has its benefits.”
“I’d rather face down a firing squad than walk into a lab with that shit on the slides.”
Caitlin chuckled, reminding him quietly, “People are far scarier than any virus. Viruses act according to their programming. Humans are unpredictable.”
Couldn’t argue with that logic. People were shifty as shit. “How close were you to finding the cure?” he asked.
At that her smile faded, replaced by consternation. “Not nearly close enough.” She met his gaze. “Do you really think whoever stole the sample is going to release it to the public?”
“I hope not.” He released a heavy sigh. “Experience tells me that whoever took the sample has plans but those plans likely have a dollar amount attached. They’re going to sell to the highest bidder and then run off to some country without extradition.”
“But without a cure, money means nothing. Eventually, the virus would find them, too.”
“Sometimes criminals are blinded by their own ambition.”
“What if money wasn’t the motivating factor? What if whoever took the sample plans to destroy humankind? Some people kill for fanatical reasons that have nothing to do with the accumulation of wealth.”
“Let’s hope greed is the motivating factor,” he said, his frown deepening. “In my experience, fanatics are the worst kind of people. They are motivated by internal conviction and there’s no reasoning with someone who feels they are doing something for a higher purpose.”
She nodded, agreeing. “Now, that scares me.”
Zak nodded, his gut clenching with the same fear. “Me, too.”
* * *
Caitlin digested Zak’s quiet admission, becoming aware that the previous levity had evaporated. There was a lot at stake here. She bore a lot of guilt for the break-in, even though she’d been completely cleared of any wrongdoing. It was still her lab, still her project that’d been compromised.
She didn’t understand people in general, but she was truly baffled by why someone would want to kill an entire population. For what? She couldn’t fathom a reason strong enough to justify such a drastic action.
Chewing her lip, Caitlin lost herself in her thoughts until Zak started clearing the table. “I’ll help,” she offered, rising to bring the dishes to the kitchen. “If you cooked, it’s only fair that I clean up.”
“I don’t mind. Keeps my mind moving,” he said but she wouldn’t hear of it.
“I might not
be able to cook but I can run a dishwasher.”
Zak cast a smile her way and she had to look away quickly. That smile was too seductive, even if he wasn’t trying to be. Her body reacted in ways that she couldn’t control. It was disconcerting. She wasn’t going to embarrass herself by panting over a man who’d made it clear that the lines would remain professional.
Which she preferred!
Hadn’t that been her biggest worry? That she’d have to suffer awkward advances that had no business happening between them? Yes, exactly. Except she hadn’t anticipated Zak affecting her in this way. She’d never been the type to pine for someone. Or fantasize. Her sex life was decidedly clinical.
She refused to acknowledge how dissatisfying those quickly rubbed-out orgasms were during quiet moments alone in her bed at night when she needed release.
Orgasms by their very nature were good for a better night’s sleep.
And a well-rested scientist was more efficient.
More effective.
She turned abruptly and ran into the solid wall of Zak’s chest. “Oh!” The plates in her hands dropped from her hands to shatter on the floor. “Damn it, I’m sorry,” she muttered, irritated with herself as she bent to pick up the shards.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve been watching more carefully. Let me help,” he said, bending to join her. Together they picked all the broken pieces and he swept up the tinier pieces, dropping everything into the trash. Teasing, he looked to her, saying, “Maybe you’re right, this kitchen isn’t big enough for the two of us.”
“Well, you’re, like, ten feet tall and wider than the doorframe,” she grumbled. “Compared to you, I’m practically a hobbit.”
Soldier Protector (Military Precision Heroes Book 2) Page 7
