by S. M. Shade
“I switched with Martha. Cass, tell your man to stop micromanaging.”
Wyatt picks up the pillow from Cass’s lap and drops it on my head.
“Okay, spill it. You went out with Noble yesterday. I want details.”
Wyatt wanders out of the room at the first sign of our girl talk. “It was fun. Have you ever heard of magnet fishing?”
“Yeah, it’s where they throw magnets in lakes and stuff to see what they can pick up, right?”
“Pretty much. He took me to the river to try it.”
Cassidy eyes me. “And?”
“And it was fun.”
She pulls her legs up, tucking them beneath her. “Cut the shit, Jani. There’s something you aren’t telling me.”
“I might have kissed him.”
A smile bursts across her face. “You kissed him?”
“Only after he kissed me!”
“So, are you going out again?”
“Yeah, next weekend. He showed me his hobby, so I’m going to show him mine.”
Her face turns serious. “I hope you really give him a chance.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Cass rolls her eyes. “You always find something wrong with the guys you date. Like Charlie. He was so nice.”
“The boy ate cheese puffs with a spoon.”
A snort of laughter comes from the doorway, and Wyatt enters. He grabs Cass up like she’s weightless, sits in the recliner and plants her on his lap. She goes on like nothing happened. “Or that guy you met last year at the water park.”
“He sucked in bed! His cock looked like a sad manatee, and he rubbed my clit like he was trying to get bird shit off his car window.”
Cass laughs, curling up against Wyatt. “Well, the date was fun. How was the kiss?”
“Amazing,” I confess. “Like I said, we’re going out again Friday. I’m going to take him to the old asylum.”
“Sounds romantic,” Wyatt scoffs.
“Says the man who proposed to his girl using sex toys.”
It may sound strange, but I love exploring old buildings. It’s risky since I don’t always have permission and I’m technically trespassing. Plus, homeless people and junkies sometimes take up residence there, but I never go alone. The asylum is a spooky place, but we’ll be going in the daylight, and Noble may as well know my weirdness from the beginning.
“We need a girl’s night Saturday then. We both get off work at eight. We can come back here.”
“Sounds good to me.” I get to my feet. “I should get to work. The owner is a real hard ass.”
Cass laughs and reaches under Wyatt. “Nah, it’s a little squishy.”
Chapter Three
Noble
It’s been a long day of classes, then work, and all I want to do when I get home is shower and crash. Tomorrow will be dedicated to studying, but Friday I have another date with Jani. At the ungodly hour of 6 a.m. She’s getting her revenge for me not telling her where I was taking her last week. I don’t have a clue where we’re going.
I’m shocked at the state of the apartment when I walk in. It’s spotless, without a whiff of pot smoke in the air. Trey is scarfing down a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table, and Kenny is wiping down the counter.
“Damn it! Stop dripping milk on the floor! I just mopped!” Kenny exclaims.
The doorjamb creaks as I lean against it. “Am I having a stroke?”
Trey gestures toward Kenny with a spoonful of milk in his hand and slops some on the table. “His parents are coming tomorrow. For some reason, he thinks a clean apartment will help them overlook the fact they’re paying tuition for him to party and fuck his way through campus.”
Kenny glares at him and wipes up the milk. “None of that talk while they’re here.”
Denton walks in, and he’s apparently been listening. “Good luck with that. Your dad called me. They’re coming to stage an intervention.”
Kenny’s head whips around to face him. “I’m not an alcoholic!”
“It’s not about the alcohol. It’s about going to class and taking care of your responsibilities.”
Kenny scoffs and leans back against the counter, crossing his arms. “Like you guys don’t get trashed and fuck chicks all the time?”
Denton pulls a can of cola out of the fridge. “Sure I do, but I also go to my classes, do my coursework, and work at the financial aid office. Moderation, buddy. That’s what it’s about.”
“Everyone parties too much freshman year, but you have to get serious eventually. Unless you want to work some shit job forever,” Trey adds.
Kenny shakes his head. “You guys, maybe, but I have money.”
Denton speaks up. “No, your parents have money. Big difference.”
“What would you do if they cut you off tomorrow?” Trey asks. “You’d be screwed.”
Denton and Trey continue to try to talk some sense into Kenny while I head off to shower and get ready for bed.
I’m just about to doze off when my phone beeps with a message from Jani.
Jani: Mom is watching a reality show about naked people in a forest. FML.
Me: Are there at least women with nice boobs?
Jani: No, these are not people anyone would want to see naked.
Me: You could come here and see me naked.
Jani: Pass
Noble: So, just a dick pic, then?
Jani: Can you zoom in close enough to fit the little feller in the shot?
Noble: I can have Denton take it from across the room. It might all fit in the frame.
Jani: Going to sleep now.
Noble: Me too, beautiful. Good night.
Jani: Good night. See you Friday.
***
I have no desire to hang around for Kenny’s intervention, so as soon as I wake, I shower, grab my stuff, and head to the library. I should have gone to the public library instead of the college library. I’m barely settled into a corner table when I feel eyes on me.
Two girls sit across from each other, making no effort to hide the fact they’re staring at me. My first couple of years here, I may have whored it up a bit too much. In my defense, I was fresh out of high school, and surrounded by girls who followed me around like I might have the secret to immortal youth. I’m not trying to be conceited. I don’t think I’m any more attractive than the next guy.
No, the frenzy started because of a comment a girl made in my freshman year. We slept together a couple of times—if you count banging in her dorm room sleeping together—and she promptly spread the word amongst her friends. From that moment on I had a new nickname whether I liked it or not.
Porn Penis.
Yeah, she told her friends I had a dick that belonged in a porno, and voila, I’m drowning in offers. I admit I totally went with it at first, what nineteen-year-old guy wouldn’t? Believe it or not, fucking a different girl every week got old…and lonely. It appears I’ve screwed myself though, because my reputation precedes me as the guy with a big cock who loves to share it. It’s all the girls here want from me.
I’m glad Jani doesn’t go to school. She has no idea about the nickname or how I got it. Now that I’m ready to settle down, I’m afraid my past is going to bite me on the ass. And not in the way I like.
The two girls keep looking my way, smiling and giggling, flirting to the best of their abilities, considering we’re in a silent library. I usually try to ignore them when this happens, but I go a different route this time.
Do you know you can creep people out by doing normal stuff at an extra slow pace? It’s funny as hell. Slowly, I look up from my book and stare at one of the giggling girls. A fraction at a time, I let a smile inch across my face, until it’s wide and makes me look insane. I keep staring at her with the psycho look until her grin falters. They both watch as I reverse and ever so slowly bring my face back to an impassive state. My gaze doesn’t leave them though. I just stare, throwing in a sluggish blink every now and then.
Finally, they shift i
n their chairs, turning to face away from me and get back to their work. I have to stifle a chuckle when they both glance at me occasionally to make sure I’m not still staring at them.
Now, maybe I can get some work done.
When I first started college, I thought I wanted to be a weatherman. You know, the guy who stands in front of the green screen and makes terrible weather puns? At that time, I didn’t realize most of them just report the weather, they aren’t the ones who determine the forecast. By the time I learned I would have a better chance at that career with a journalism degree than a meteorology degree, I’d fallen in love with the science.
Weather is fascinating. Especially now, when climate change is affecting us and straining our ability to accurately predict the rapid changes. Now that I’m going to be able to afford to pursue a master’s degree, I’ve shifted my focus more onto climatology. I’m not sure exactly what career I want in the field yet. Research is vital, but sounds a bit boring. The kid in me wants to be a storm chaser like my idol, Tim Samaras. Who knows? Maybe I’ll find a way to do both.
I hit the books hard and don’t even realize how much time has passed until my stomach starts sounding like an angry badger. No wonder, I’ve been here for over six hours. I’m not sure if I want to go home yet, or just grab something to eat and go to the gym. After packing up my books, I head out to the hallway and text Denton.
Me: Is the intervention over?
Denton: Not yet.
Me: How is it going?
Denton: Brutal, man. But Kenny is stubborn as fuck.
Me: Want to grab some food and hit the gym?
Denton: Already ate, but I’ll meet you at the gym. Half hour?
Me: Okay
I hit the drive thru at a local burger joint and scarf down a cheeseburger and fries while sitting in the gym parking lot. Shut up. I can’t be the only one who has done that. I did get a particularly ugly look from a large guy on the way to his car. Might be the milkshake I’m sipping.
Denton nods at me from a treadmill, and I join him, claiming the next in the row and setting it to a brisk walk to warm up.
“I don’t know how you do that,” he gripes.
“Manage these good looks on a daily basis? All in the genes, nothing you can do about that.”
Denton scoffs. “Eat all that heavy food and then work out. I’d puke.”
“It’s a gift.” A few moments of silence pass before I tell him. “The girl standing by the water cooler is checking you out.”
The hope drains from his face when he sees who I’m talking about. “No way, vapid personality and huge fake tits. I’m out.”
“That bad, huh?” I increase my speed to a fast jog. “Tits don’t look bad from here.”
“Trust me, man. I took her sweater off and it looked like her nipples were trying to give me directions, but couldn’t agree. Looked like one of those puffy eyed goldfish. My eyes crossed every time I saw them. And she couldn’t hold a conversation that wasn’t about gossip or fashion.”
His gaze travels to the young woman working the desk, and I laugh. “Ah, you’ve already chosen your next victim.”
“She’s in my calc class and she’s smart as hell. You know I like the smart ones.” He increases his speed to match mine. “I had to pretend to be stuck on a problem to get her to help me. When she bent over my desk, she smelled amazing.”
“That’s not creepy at all.”
“Says the guy who has unsuccessfully chased the same woman for two years.”
“I’m winning her over,” I reply with a shrug.
“Falling on your ass is a wonderful way to make an impression,” he teases.
“I didn’t tell you that so you could use it against me.”
Denton laughs and turns his head to look at me. “Have we met, of course—”
And that is when karma comes in and knocks the hell out of him. My little roll in the mud is nothing to his spectacular display of athleticism. His phone slips out of his armband and crashes to the conveyor belt. He grabs for the phone between his feet, but it is instantly chucked behind him, and all he manages to do is throw himself off balance.
I reach over and hit the emergency stop on his machine, but it isn’t fast enough. He falls onto his shoulder and is flung off the belt and onto the floor on top of his phone. A crunch sound says he either broke his phone or his arm.
Stopping my machine, I restrain my laughter and ask, “Are you okay?”
Denton leaps to his feet and scoops up his shattered phone. “I’m good.” His eyes dart to search for the hot girl at the desk, but she’s already on her way over to him. “Fuck,” I hear him mumble, as she approaches.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Fine,” Denton says. “Just…dropped my phone.”
“And yourself,” I add cheerfully.
The woman giggles and lays a hand on his arm. “It happens at least once a day, and a phone is usually the culprit.”
“Well, you taught the phone not to mess with you again,” I remark, and he gives me a dirty look. I decide to take pity on him, and turn to the girl. “Hi, I’m Noble. It was actually my fault. I hit the emergency stop and I think that’s what threw him off.”
“Well, make sure you wear the clip,” she tells him, with a pretty smile.
Denton starts chatting with her, and accompanies her back to the desk to fill out an accident report. When he returns, his expression is smug. “Got her number.”
“If only you had a phone to store it.”
“Fuck off,” he laughs. “I was due for an upgrade. I’ll shop for a new one tomorrow.”
***
The apartment is quiet when we get home, and Kenny’s parents are gone. Trey is lounging on the couch, watching a movie while Kenny broods in the recliner. Denton heads to the kitchen, retrieves a bag of French fries from the freezer, and drapes them over his shoulder before joining us in the living room.
“Do you think you need to get it checked out?” I ask, and he shakes his head.
“Nah, just bruised it good.” He turns to Kenny. “So, what’s up?”
“I want to throw a party tomorrow night,” Kenny says. Wow. That intervention went well. He continues, “If I don’t get my grades up by the end of the year and pass all my classes, my parents aren’t going to pay my tuition or anything. I’ll have to go back home and work in the linen factory like the rest of the rejects. So, I want to have one more rager, get drunk, and smash some strange before I have to stop for good.”
His voice is sulky.
Denton sighs. “One, you don’t have to stop for good or become celibate for fuck’s sake. Just clean up your act until you get caught up, then it’s all about moderation, like I said before. And two, I’m fine with a party as long as you stop acting like someone pissed in your Cheerios. Adulting isn’t as bad as it seems.”
“You seem to be doing a bang up job at it,” Trey laughs, staring at Denton’s arm. “What happened?”
“Noble shoved me off a treadmill,” I hear him say as I head to my room.
Asshole.
An hour later, Kenny has emerged from his shitty mood, and we sit around playing the newest first person shooter. I like games, but Trey is obsessed. It’s no surprise he’s going to school to be a game designer. My phone beeps with a text from Jani.
Jani: I’ll pick you up at six in the morning.
Me: Or we could just leave from here after you spend the night.
I can’t resist baiting her. She never fails to give me shit.
Jani: Nah, I’m already naked in bed. Don’t want to have to get up.
Me: Pic or isn’t true.
My heart leaps in my chest when a text comes through that urges me to download a picture. Holy shit. She actually sent me—
A picture of her bare feet sticking out the end of the covers.
Me: Mmm…how did you know I have a foot fetish?
The amount of time it takes for her to respond makes me laugh. I can picture her trying to
figure out if I’m serious or not.
Jani: Very funny. I almost fell for it.
Me: Fine, I’m not into feet. You have cute little toes though.
Jani: Omg. I’ll see you in the morning.
Since I have to be up at the ass crack of dawn, I cut the video games short and go to bed.
It feels like I’ve just closed my eyes when my phone rings, and I slap at it until I hit the speaker button.
“Are you up?” Jani asks.
“Mmm Hmm.”
“Liar,” she laughs. “Get up and dress warm.” She pauses for a moment. “Oh, and wear dark clothes, black if you can.”
The floor is cold on my feet as I shamble over to turn on my light. “Are we robbing a bank?”
“You’ll see,” she teases. “I’ll pick you up in a few minutes.”
Fifteen minutes later, I’m climbing into her car. She’s so peppy in the morning that I kind of want to slap her. A morning person, I’m not.
“Where are we going? It’s still dark out,” I mumble.
She picks up a coffee from her console and hands it to me. “Have you heard of urban exploration?”
She pulls out of our apartment complex as I sip the nectar of the gods. “Is that where people take pictures of abandoned buildings?”
Her grin lights up the car. “Some take pictures, but it’s mostly just about exploring, seeing places most people don’t get to see.”
Holy shit. We are going to break into somewhere. I’m suddenly wide awake. “Okay, and how many years are we facing for this adventure?”
Her lips curl up and she gives me a sideways glance. “It’s just a little trespassing, but if you don’t want to…”
“No, I’m in.” I have a clean record. Besides, trespassing usually just gets you chased off the property with a warning never to come back. Don’t ask me how I know that. “What are we exploring?”
