by S. M. Shade
Mr. Fields throws back his head and people down the hall can probably hear his booming laugh. “No worries, kid. I worked retail when I was young. No amount of money could make me do it again.”
“So, what do I need to do?” I flip through the packet he handed me.
“Just read through that, fill out the paperwork, and show up at the time and date on the last sheet.”
Standing, I reach to shake his hand. “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to get started.”
“Stop in and let me know how it’s going,” he says, and I agree.
Once I’m in the hall, I have no intention of going back to Algebra. I’m going to do something I very rarely do—skip a class. I’m just too happy to pay attention right now. And to think, I woke up this morning thinking things couldn’t get any better.
All I can think is that I want to tell Jani, but she’s at work, and my shift starts in a little while as well. I’ll just bring her some food when I go on my lunch break. And maybe flowers. Do guys still give flowers or is that lame? I’ve never given a woman flowers, but I’ve never really been in a relationship before. There’s no way I’m asking the guys. I’ll never hear the end of it.
Cassidy sits on Samantha’s step when I turn onto Violent Circle. Cass moved not too long ago, but she comes back to visit. You can take the girl out of the circle, but not the circle out of the girl.
She waves when I park and make my way over to her. “Hey, Cass. I hear you’re launching your own business.”
She smiles, tugging one of her socks up. “Sort of. I’m just selling my animals online. I spend most of my time at the community center. I hear you found a girlfriend.” Cass has rooted for me from the beginning with Jani.
“Yeah.” I take a seat beside her on the step. “I need some advice. I’m going to pop in on Jani at work to bring her lunch later and I was wondering…is it totally lame to bring flowers?”
I’m instantly sorry since both women look at me like I’m a puppy who tripped over his ears.
“That’s so sweet!” Samantha says.
Cass beams at me. “Definitely not lame. She’ll love it. Lilies are her favorite.”
I need to get out of here before they start patting me on the head. “Thanks, I’d better get moving.”
They both stare at me with that aww expression as I rush to my car.
A smile is plastered across my face as I stroll through the supercenter, stopping to chat with other employees. One of the few things—other than preventing me from starving—that this job has been good for is meeting new people. From teenagers working their first job corralling carts in the parking lot, to a few cashiers that have to be pushing eighty, I’ve met so many interesting people from all walks of life. There is a camaraderie because we all have one thing in common—we hate our jobs and can’t wait to get the hell out.
Today I get to put in my notice. I’ve decided to put in the minimum two weeks, so I’ll have a week off before starting my new job. It’s been a long four years. I’ve earned a little break. Besides, most just quit by not showing up.
I’m approached by Ty, one of the general managers. “Noble! I’m short a man in the parking lot today, and your department is overstaffed for this shift. I’m going to move you for today.” He hands me a two-way radio.
Any other day, I’d be cursing his name. We’re in full blown holiday mode now, and working the lot means loading TV’s, trampolines, and a hundred other large items into customer’s cars while they bitch about how you’re doing it. You wouldn’t believe how many show up in a tiny car and I’m somehow supposed to magically fit a massive item inside. Oh sure, I can shove a whole swimming pool into your Ford Focus, buddy, no problem. All the while trying not to get run over because in our bright yellow vests, we’re somehow invisible.
But nothing can kill my mood today. I have a scholarship, a new job, and the girl I’ve been after forever. Life is good.
“I got it.” I clip the radio on my belt. “I’m headed back to put in my notice, though. This is my last two weeks.”
Ty stares at me. “Did something happen? I know you aren’t on great terms with your department manager, but…”
“It’s not Kori. I mean, she’s terrible, but the whole store knows that. I can handle her. I got an internship at WFUK. They want me to start after the holidays.”
Ty sticks his hand out. “Congratulations. I’m sorry to lose you. You have an excellent work ethic, young man.”
“Thank you.”
The radio crackles to life and Josh’s voice blares through the speaker. “I need some help out here!”
Josh has always and probably will always work the lot. He’s a die-hard stoner with half a brain, and one of the few people I don’t like working with. He’s lazy, and spends most of the time following me around talking about bullshit while I work. Cart pushers are hard to keep because the job is more difficult than it looks. Stacked together, the carts are heavy, and you’re at the mercy of the weather. That, and the fact that his uncle works in corporate, are the only reasons he’s made it this far without being fired.
“I’d better get moving.” Ty nods at me. “I’m covering Tire and Lube today, so just hit me on the radio if you get backed up.”
“Will do.” I make a quick trip to the human resources office in the rear of the store. Giving my notice doesn’t actually require me to tell the managers in person, since I just have to enter it into the computer, but I still can’t wait until Kori finds out. Because of her reputation, the meat department has become notoriously hard to staff, and with me leaving in the middle of the Christmas rush, I’m screwing her, royally. Like I said, life is good.
I don’t bother to stop by my department to tell her I’ve been moved to the parking lot for the day either. She’ll figure it out. In the beginning, I didn’t have such a negative attitude toward this job. It wasn’t until she took over with her gossipy, mean girl attitude, that I started to hate it.
I’ve worked here for almost four years, and during that time have missed a total of two days of work. One because of a schedule mix up where they had me scheduled for the same day as my final exams, and another when I was sick and puking every five minutes.
When I came back in the next day, still sick and feverish, but well enough to soldier through it, the other employees all gave me looks like I was headed to a guillotine. Then I started getting warnings from them. Kori was so pissed you called out yesterday. There was a truck and she had to do it. You’re in so much trouble. She said she’s going to write you up. And I don’t mean a couple people mentioned it. Almost everyone I passed had some dire warning for me. The damn soda delivery guy who spends three hours a week here knew I called out and she was pissed. She spent the whole day bad mouthing me.
Up until that point, I had always tried to be a team player, came in on days off when they needed me, did jobs she asked me to do that were not my responsibility, like inventory. After that? Fuck no. I do my job, get my check, and get the hell out. Judging by the way the other managers respect me though, it must still be better than the effort they get from other employees.
It’s chilly out, so I grab a coffee and stop by my car for my heavier coat before grabbing the cart mule and getting to work. For someone who was so behind that he had to call for help over the radio, Josh is nowhere to be seen. After a quick glance around to make sure no one is watching, I pop in a wireless earbud and choose a playlist on my phone. Time to get to work.
It takes me almost an hour to clear the entire lot, and I’m just taking a breather, scanning the lot for any I may have missed, when Kori storms up to me. A sudden idea pops into my head and I flip the talk switch on the radio. I’m done taking her shit. Every manager carries a radio and a lot of employees do as well. Whatever she’s about to say is going to get broadcast across the highest levels of the store.
“Noble! Are you fucking retarded? There are four pallets sitting in the back that need stocked.”
Silence. I pretend I didn
’t even hear her until she grabs my arm. “Are you deaf?”
“No, I’m not deaf. And take your hand off of me right now.” I stare her in the eye and clearly enunciate the words. “Do not touch me.”
Perplexed, she lets go but continues her tirade. “Get inside and stock the fresh wall.”
“Ty put me out here for the day. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you take it up with him.”
Her face reddens. “You work in my department! I don’t give a shit what that flaming queer has to say.”
Oh. Oh this is so good. Yeah, Ty is gay, and his boyfriend works here as well, in electronics. They are well liked by everyone, except this bitch. And everyone just heard that.
I just need to push her a little further. “Oh, by the way, Kori, I just put in my notice. So you’ll need to adjust the schedule for the end of the month.”
Until this moment, I was unaware a human face could turn purple. I’m waiting on steam to shoot out of her ears because she kind of looks like a cartoon right now. Her hands are planted on her hips, her face screwed up like she tasted something bad.
“It’s less than a month until Christmas! You can’t leave me short-handed like that!”
Leaning against the outer brick wall of the Tire and Lube section, I cross my arms. “I’m moving on to bigger and better things. You’ll just have to train someone else to do inventory for you, plus all the other little jobs that are supposed to be your responsibility. I wonder what management would think if they knew you gave me the inventory codes. I mean, I’m just a lowly employee after all.”
She steps toward me with a sneer. “You think anyone would believe you? Please, I get what I want in this place, haven’t you figured that out by now?”
“Sure, but I’m not willing to suck an assortment of dicks just to get an extra dollar an hour and a manager pin on my vest.”
Sputtering, she can’t seem to get any words out. Finally, she shrieks the words, “You’re fired, you worthless little shit!”
Smiling, I bounce off of the wall. “Sure, as soon as I hear that from Ty, Jimmy, or Niall—the only managers who can actually fire an employee—I’ll be gone before you can say karma.”
She doesn’t get a chance to reply because the sudden ahem from behind her draws her attention. Ty, Jimmy, and—holy shit—the big district manager stand behind her, radios in hand.
“Ty,” I say amiably, nodding at him.
“Carts are piling up. Better get back to work,” he says to me, his hardened gaze never leaving Kori’s face. “And check your radio. You left the channel open.”
All the blood drains from Kori’s face as I reach down to flip the switch. “Did I? Sorry about that. It’s been a big week, finding out about my scholarship, new job and all. In my excitement, I must’ve forgotten to turn it off.”
I’m not trying to fool anyone, and he knows it. The ear to ear grin on my face is a dead giveaway. He swallows back his own grin, shakes his head, and gestures to the cart mule.
“I’m on it!” I chirp.
God, what I’d give to know the conversation going on behind me now. They not only heard the way she talks to employees, but the fact that she had me doing her managerial duties I wasn’t trained for. Plus, she used a gay slur against Ty.
Awesome.
Josh finally catches up with me as I’m hooking carts to the mule. The mule is a machine that helps push the carts inside, sparing our backs the extra weight. It takes a little practice to learn to steer it, but by the end of my first day, I had it down.
“Dude, do you know the whole store heard you tell her she sucked her way to the top?” Josh asks, lighting a cigarette. “I was talking to that Ginny chick on register four and all the cashiers heard it. Some customers too.”
“Uh-huh. The other mule is charged, Josh, if you want to start working the other side of the lot.”
“Oh? No one told you? I’m not allowed to use the mule anymore. I hit another car.”
Yeah, he said another. I believe this makes three.
“It was a sharp ass mustang, brand new, still had the paper tag in the back window. Mule scraped all the way down the side.” He angles his hand and makes a high-pitched screeching noise. There isn’t a hint of remorse or embarrassment in his voice. “So I have to get them by hand now. I got suspended for a day too, because I ran.”
He what? Pausing, I turn back to him. “You ran? After you hit the car? Ran where?”
“Yeah, the dude saw me, and he was coming toward me, looking all pissed. So I took off. I didn’t really think about where I was going, just, you know, away.” He gestures to the field beside us that separates the supercenter from a warehouse.
A snort of laughter jumps out of me as I picture it. It’s not hard to imagine Josh hitting a car and just running for it, but I imagine the car owner had to think he was beyond stupid. We’re surrounded by cameras. “Tends to happen when you damage someone’s ride.”
“Fuck off. I panicked. Anyway, I got suspended a day. Today’s my first day back.”
I back the mule out and angle it toward the cart return doors. Josh follows along, babbling about random stuff while I work. “Dude, look at that car.” He points out an Impala, dropped so low, it’s nearly dragging the ground. Letters stenciled across the bottom of the doors read, Too Low for a Fat Ho.
“Classy,” I remark. It’s far from the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen out here.
A few minutes later, Kori bursts through the doors and gives me the blackest look of hate I’ve ever been thrown. I’m waiting for her head to spin around or green, pea colored puke to start flying. Without a word, she stalks to her car.
Wow. Her shift is far from over. I wonder if he fired her. I don’t have to wonder long before Ty calls my name over the radio and asks me to meet him in the human resources office.
“Great,” Josh whines. “I have to do this all myself.”
Ty and Jimmy are sitting in the office when I come in. I take a seat and grin at them. “You wanted to see me, boss?” I glance from one to the other, almost giddy. “Bosses,” I correct. I can’t help it. I’ve eaten so much shit over the past four years because I needed this job. These guys have been okay, but they’re responsible for promoting Kori to get rid of her instead of firing her. Maybe she’s related to a big shot too. Nepotism runs rampant around here.
“Kori gave you the inventory code? You were doing the orders?”
Sitting back. I shrug. “Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was her. I did it when she asked me to.”
“That’s all we needed to know,” Ty says, and turns to Jimmy. “That will justify the suspension.”
Jimmy nods, gets to his feet, and heads for the door. “I’ll go put it in.”
Once he’s gone, Ty turns to me. “Noble, I like you.”
“But I’m fired,” I interrupt. It isn’t hard to guess where he was going. Regret drips from his face.
Ty grins, rubbing his chin. “Let’s just say I accepted your resignation and it’s unnecessary for you to work out the two weeks notice.”
“It was the dick sucking, wasn’t it?”
Ty bursts out laughing. “Half the damn store heard that.”
“Yeah, sorry, I thought they already knew.”
We’re both laughing when Jimmy returns, eyeing me. “Everything okay?”
I get to my feet. “Yeah, we’re good. I have four weeks paid vacation piled up. Will you make sure Harriet doesn’t forget to add that to my last check?”
“I’ll do that.”
The final click of my nametag when I take it off is a welcome sound. I hand it and the vest to Jimmy. “So, Kori’s suspended?”
Ty sighs, and I actually feel a little sorry for him. Even at the top, this job sucks. “For now. And on probation when she returns.”
“Are we kicking zombie ass tonight?” Jimmy asks.
“Yep. I got some free time,” I chuckle. “See you, guys, I’m going to get the hell out of here.”
I have to gr
ab a few things I keep stashed in my cubby in the meat department on my way out. I’m about to push open the employee only doors when a voice calls from behind me.
I know that voice.
I don’t know her name, but this woman is the most annoying customer ever. At least once a week she appears like the wicked witch of the west. I swear, I look around for a puff of red smoke whenever I see her. Generally, she comes to argue with me over prices—something I have no control over—or to return some rotten meat she bought weeks ago and swears went bad instantly. She’s a pain in the ass.
“Excuse me!” She gestures to the bunker full of frozen turkeys. “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead,” I reply cheerfully.
Some people can’t take a joke.
A scowl breaks across her face. “I know that! Do you have any over twenty pounds?”
If we do, I’m sure they’re still buried on the pallet and this isn’t my responsibility anymore. If she wasn’t a bitch, I would’ve called another employee to help her, but I’m done catering to people like this. “No, sorry. That’s all we have.”
Her hands clamp onto her hips and she bends over slightly. Between her stance and the way her skinny face seems to come to a point, she looks like a chicken. “You just don’t want to bother looking! I insist you go in the back and bring me a twenty pound turkey! Or I’ll speak to your manager about your rudeness!”
Forcing a smile onto my face, I nod. “Sure thing, ma’am. Just wait right here. It may take a few minutes.”
Satisfied she has gotten her way, she nods smugly, and I head through the doors. This is a common thing with customers that drives all retail employees nuts. They seem to think the storeroom is piled high with products that we just don’t want to put on the shelves. Most of the time, if you can’t see it, we don’t have it. When we know we’re out of something, but they insist I check, I generally just go back and play on my phone for a few minutes then come out and tell them again, that we’re out.
The sound of gagging draws my attention and I can’t help but laugh at the sight of Ricky, one of the other meat department employees, running over to the trash can. He stands over it for a minute until the urge to puke passes, not even noticing I’m there.
