Especially when they played a key part in your dreams a little more than was safe.
Chapter 4
Eliza
* * *
I ran my hands over my hair and sighed. It didn’t matter how much dry shampoo I used; it would look like I hadn’t washed my hair in four days. Well, my in-laws would just have to deal with it. I cringed again. No, they wouldn’t be happy—not that they didn’t love me. They did. At least, that’s what I told myself every time I had to deal with them. They just hadn’t always been sure their son chose the right woman.
After all, we had been young, our relationship had seemingly come out of nowhere, and I was the rebound. They had loved his high school girlfriend. I was the replacement. At least, in their eyes. Marshall loved me with every ounce of his soul, and I hated that he was gone. He had been my everything, and now my time was filled with finding my new everything.
However, I’d been so focused on work today, an art project that I was truly enjoying, that I’d missed my prep window to get ready for our meeting. It was a commission piece for an older man who wanted to give something to his granddaughter. It made me smile just thinking about it. Something that she would love in her teens like she was now, and maybe even more later when she got older. It was a portrait, but one that I would be changing up a bit for dramatic effect. I had interviewed the grandfather for hours to get to know how he felt about her, and it’d brought tears to my eyes.
However, getting into these sketches and beginning the painting today had taken up far too much time. So, I hadn’t showered fully like I’d wanted to. I had been able to put my hair up and scrubbed quickly, but I hadn’t had time to wash my hair.
Behold, the life of an artist—or anyone really, these days. I looked in the mirror, cringed again, and put my hair up in a cute top knot that looked elegant. Unfortunately, I could still tell that my hair was filled to the brim with dry shampoo. It was fine. I looked okay. Beverly and Clarence wouldn’t mind.
They liked me. A little.
I sighed and looked over my to-do list before I met my in-laws for brunch.
The doorbell rang, and I frowned. Were they supposed to meet me at home? No, they’d never been to this house. They had been to my and Marshall’s house countless times. They were originally from Colorado and had moved back once Marshall got stationed here. Once we had been stationed at the base nearby, I reminded myself. Now, they were close by, even though we didn’t see each other often. It was hard. This was the first time in a month that I’d be seeing them. They’d wanted to meet for brunch, and I was trying. I really was. I loved them. They were my in-laws.
My parents, in a way.
I made my way to the door, opened it, and my eyes flew wide. “Beckett?” I asked, looking at the Montgomery in front of me.
He had on a white tee, work jeans, and carried a toolbox. My stomach did that little flutter thing it tended to do around him, and I ignored it. It was wrong to lust after him. So very wrong. “My sister said you needed help with something?” he asked, and with the way he looked just then, images of a very dirty movie that Marshall and I had watched once together filtered through my mind.
No, I was not going to think about that. Especially not with Beckett standing in front of me.
I blinked and licked my suddenly dry lips. I must have imagined that Beckett’s gaze drifted down to follow the action. “Oh, Beckett. Hi. I was just heading out. I didn’t know you were coming over.”
Beckett sighed and ran his hands over his hair. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked like he hadn’t been sleeping.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. He froze for a second and then shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong. I was just in the area for another project and figured I’d stop by here and see what you needed before I headed home to change. I had my toolbox in my car.”
I smiled. “It’s for bookshelves, so I think it’s just a drill. Right?” I asked, and he cringed. “What? It’s not a drill?”
He shrugged. “It can be. Sometimes, an Allen wrench if you’re going with that lovely box store.”
I shook my head. “No, not exactly. I’m sorry. They’re mounted to the wall, and then there’s a few other boxes I need some help with. And the railing. I asked Annabelle about the railing and she said that one of you guys would be over.”
“It’s fine. Just tell me what you need me to do.”
I looked down at my watch. “I actually need to meet my in-laws, I’m sorry. I can’t stay. I mean, you’re welcome to come in. It is your family’s house.”
Beckett shook his head. “No, I should go home and shower before my next meeting. I have to meet Clay.”
“How is he?” I asked, my voice warming at the thought of Beckett’s assistant project manager. Clay was a nice guy, and I adored his three cousins. He was raising them himself and doing so well with it. It always put a little hitch in my breath thinking about him with children compared to my empty house. Once again, I ignored it. Because it wasn’t like anything would change with regards to that.
“I’m not going to be in your house when you’re not here. I’m not your landlord. My sister is.”
“Well, you did help build this place, didn’t you?” I asked, teasing now.
Beckett snorted. “Yes, that was me. However, I’m going to head home and shower so you can get to brunch. You okay with that? I actually didn’t know you were still talking with them.”
He backed up so I could close and lock the door. “I’ll be fine. I haven’t seen them in about a month, but they called and said they wanted to meet. I know this is hard for them, too, so I’m going to do my best to make sure they know that I’m always here if they need me.”
“What about you? I know you have brothers, loads of them, but they’re not around here, are they?”
“Well, two of them were just in town,” I said quickly.
“Really?”
I smiled, thinking of my big brothers and their growly attitudes. “Yes, but it was for work. Actually, they’re all getting out of the military soon, and they want me to move down to where we spent the most time—home.”
Beckett’s eyes widened, and he reached out, placing his hand on my arm for a moment before he dropped it. I tried not to think of the warmth on my skin. What was wrong with me?
“You mean Texas? You’re moving?”
“No, I’m not. At least, I don’t think so.” I started to ramble. “I mean, I don’t know. I like it up here. I have friends. My brothers would be down there, so I don’t know. It’s just a lot right now, and with everything coming up soon and then this meeting with my in-laws, I really don’t want to think about any of it. Is that okay?” I asked, tears threatening to fall.
Beckett cursed under his breath, lowered the toolbox, and opened his arms. “Come here.”
“I’m not letting you hug me,” I whispered.
“Why not”? he growled.
I did not like that growl. Not one bit. I was fine. I wasn’t going to think about the fact that it did things to me that I didn’t need to think about. I sighed and stepped forward into his arms. I wrapped mine around his waist, and he held me close. I did my best not to inhale his masculine scent. I didn’t want to know what he smelled like. I didn’t want to acknowledge what it did to me.
Something was seriously wrong with me.
I was about to see my late husband’s parents. I shouldn’t be thinking about another man. This was wrong on so many levels.
“Anyway,” I said as I pulled back and sniffed. “I’m fine. I’m going to see my in-laws, have a nice brunch, maybe a glass of champagne, and then come home and wash my hair.”
His gaze moved to the top of my head, and I blushed, mortified that I had let that slip.
“There’s something wrong with your hair?” he asked, a laugh in his voice.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, if you need me, I’ll be around. I promise I’ll call next time.”
“You’re
a good man, Beckett.”
“You keep saying that,” he said with a sigh. “A good man would have called instead of just showing up and taking your time. I don’t want you to be late.”
I cursed and looked down at my watch again. “You’re right. I am going to be late. However, thank you. I mean it. And thank you in advance for helping me with any handyman things I need. I’ll talk to you soon.” I rose on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek then ran to my car.
It wasn’t until I was pulling out of the driveway, leaving him standing on my walkway, that I realized I had just kissed Beckett Montgomery’s cheek. Something I had never done before. What in the hell was wrong with me? It wasn’t that I wanted to want Beckett—I didn’t know if I wanted to want anyone. I just needed to breathe.
The first anniversary of my husband’s death was coming up, and while I thought about him every day, it wasn’t the same sinking feeling I’d had before. I was finding my way. My purpose. I had a new home, a job that I loved, and friends. So what if I had just kissed Beckett’s cheek? It wasn’t sexual. I might have wanted to sniff him and hold him a little longer, but it had been a while since I’d touched a man, so I could be forgiven. Marshall had been gone for months before he died overseas. It had been a very long time since I’d had anyone but myself and whatever toy I could find.
Maybe I just needed some encouragement. A little tenderness.
Or really hot sex.
I shouldn’t be thinking about any of that, especially when I was on my way to see Beverly and Clarence. I pulled into the small bistro on the other side of town and parked close to the front. I sighed and ran my hands over my linen pants and top, figuring I looked good enough.
Bracing myself for whatever mood they were in, I walked in. They were already there, halfway through their first drink. At least, I hoped it was their first drink. I was only five minutes late, but that meant I was an hour late in military time.
Beverly looked up when I walked towards them and gave me a smile. “Oh, we were worried about you. We were just about to call.”
I leaned down, kissed her cheek, then did the same to Clarence’s. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be late.” I didn’t offer an excuse. Telling Beverly that I’d been held up by work, distraction, and by Beckett Montgomery wouldn’t matter. I was late, and there was no excuse. Even my parents had hammered that into me.
I sat down across from Beverly and next to Clarence and smiled as the waiter brought me a glass of peach Bellini.
“This was pre-ordered for you. I hope it’s okay,” the waiter said.
I smiled at him. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” I looked at my in-laws. “Thank you.”
“No worries, we know you love Bellinis. So do we.” Beverly smiled and took a sip.
I did the same, letting the fruity sweetness settle on my tongue. I did love Bellinis. Marshall had hated them. He’d never liked anything mixed into his drinks. I always found it funny, but that meant that I never had to ensure that mine were safe from him like Beverly had to do with Clarence. If Beverly didn’t drink quickly enough, Clarence would take the rest of hers and finish it off. I always thought it was cute, and the two laughed about it, but I never had that with Marshall. Marshall always had his own drink.
“How’s work going?” I asked, and the two looked at each other and then at me.
“It’s going just fine,” Clarence answered. They owned a small advertising firm and were slowly on their way to retirement. I was honestly shocked that they were still working as hard as they were, and they’d only worked harder after Marshall passed. Then again, so had I. We all needed to do something.
I’d always found it hard to find a connection to the places I lived rather than the people I left behind. I’d never stayed in place for long, and it wasn’t until marrying Marshall that I’d begun to grow roots. Before moving to Colorado, the place I’d stayed the longest had been Texas, but that hadn’t felt like the home I had now because of the connections I had made. I didn’t have anyone in Colorado other than my found family, the one I had made, and Marshall’s parents.
“We’re doing well,” Beverly added. “We’re working more because we need to fill another savings account,” she said.
I blinked at the tone of her voice, wondering what I was missing. “Is something wrong with your retirement? I know the stock market had a little dip, but I didn’t think it had affected everyone.”
Marshall’s parents gave each other a look, and I set down my drink, foreboding sliding up my spine and settling in my stomach.
“What’s wrong?”
“We have a few things to discuss with you,” she said softly and cleared her throat.
“Is something wrong? Are you guys okay? Oh, no. Do you need money for something for your health? Talk to me.”
She let out a sigh and tapped her fingers on the table. When the waiter came to take our order, she waved him off, and the foreboding just clung harder.
“We’ve been keeping something from you, but I don’t know how much longer we can hold back.”
Nausea rolled over me, and my hands shook. “Are you sick?”
She shook her head. Clarence did the same.
“No, but there is something you need to know,” Clarence said after a moment.
Beverly rolled her shoulders back. “Marshall has a daughter.”
I blinked, trying to understand exactly what she had just said. Because that aching feeling in my body and over my heart couldn’t be real. I must have misheard. “What? Marshall has a what?”
My heart raced, and bile filled my throat. This didn’t make any sense. Marshall was gone. He couldn’t have a daughter. I didn’t have a daughter; therefore, he didn’t. I had to be missing something, even though that sense of darkness hit me harder, and it felt as though the floor had been torn out from under me, and I was falling.
Falling and falling with no landing. No way to find my way out of the dark.
The two met each other’s gazes again, and I wanted to shake them both. Out with it, already. Beverly sighed. “I know that you and Marshall loved each other very much, but Marshall also loved Natasha. You do remember Natasha, don’t you?”
My breath stopped. Everything did. I couldn’t hear anymore. Natasha was Marshall’s high school girlfriend. The one he had loved, whom everyone thought he would marry. The girl that his parents had thought he would be with forever. Apparently, she’d even had a promise ring and everything. He planned to enlist in the military and immediately bring her with him. She was supposed to be the perfect military wife, and everyone thought everything would work out.
That hadn’t happened. They’d fought after prom and broke up. And then I came along, and things had clicked. Marshall was mine. And yet, his parents spoke of Natasha, their perfect Natasha. And a child.
None of this made any sense.
“We weren’t sure exactly how to tell you,” Beverly said quickly.
I pressed my lips together before letting out a breath. “Please, just tell me quickly because drawing it out like this is killing me.” I hadn’t meant to say it like that, but I couldn’t stop myself. My voice broke, and I hated myself a little bit. I needed to be strong. I needed to wake up from this dream. I couldn’t.
Nothing made sense.
“We always thought Natasha and Marshall were perfect for one another. We thought they would have the rest of their lives together. Then they had that fight and broke up. But instead of getting back together, he met you.”
I heard the derision in her tone, but I ignored it. I had heard this before, but the only time she’d ever sounded so rude about it was when she had been a little too tipsy on champagne one New Year’s. I wasn’t sure she even remembered.
I heard it now. And I didn’t think it was the alcohol giving her the courage to say what she said.
“I know that Marshall loved you very much, but he was conflicted. He also loved Natasha. There was no stopping that. A little over two years ago, Natasha and Marshall welcom
ed a daughter. Her name is Madison. She is our granddaughter. Natasha didn’t want to be a hindrance, so she decided to raise their daughter on her own. We actually didn’t hear about it until right before Marshall left for his last deployment.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, my voice shaky. “I was married to Marshall then. It wasn’t from before? This isn’t a long-lost secret baby from high school?” I asked, my voice shrill.
People were looking now, and Beverly reached out to grip my hand. I pulled back and continued, my voice shaking. “You knew Marshall cheated on me? How do we even know it’s his?” Or true. How was any of this happening?
“It’s his. She has his eyes, his chin, and she looks just like he did when he was a baby. Madison is Marshall’s. And Natasha works hard, but she never got a college education. She needs help.”
I blinked again, trying to breathe. It all made sense now. At least, as much as it could given the circumstances, the hell of my own making. “Money. You need money. That’s why you’re working as hard as you are. For the granddaughter you never got from me. For the child my husband had with another woman while we were married.” People were definitely staring now, and I had a feeling that someone was going to pull out a camera and start videotaping at any moment.
Tragic widow goes insane at brunch over Bellinis after news about a secret love child. I could see the headlines now.
I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. This couldn’t be true. If I just woke up from this nightmare, it would be all right. The nightmare of losing my husband hadn’t even ended, and now it was compounded by finding out that Marshall wasn’t exactly the man I thought he was. I couldn’t feel anything. The rage wasn’t swirling. I didn’t have grief or pity, there was nothing. Just ice. I wanted to leave, only I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but sit there and listen to the people who clearly had never really wanted me in their life to begin with, and let it irrevocably alter my past and present.
Inked Obsession Page 4
