“Beckett said we should,” Paige said dreamily.
I waved my finger at her. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?” Annabelle asked, fluttering her eyelashes. “What happened on this mysterious trip of yours?”
There was no going back now. Not that there ever had been. “I went because my brothers and I realized that I needed time away. Away from my in-laws and everything. Just to be alone on the anniversary of losing Marshall. And, honestly, after losing a lot more than him because things aren’t exactly the way they should be.”
“I’m sorry for that,” Paige whispered.
“Me, too. However, Beckett was there, and we hung out a lot. Our rooms were next to each other. We did lunch and dinner.”
“And each other,” Annabelle added and then put her hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she squeaked.
I blew out a breath. “It just happened. And we might do it again.”
“It?” Paige squealed.
“I mean going on a date. I don’t know.” I looked at Brenna. “Is this weird?”
Brenna frowned, holding up her hands. “Not for me. I don’t know, he seemed befuddled when it came to you. I kind of liked it. He’s not befuddled often when it’s something important.
“Befuddled’s a good word,” I said, rubbing my temples. “I thought we needed to go to the Montgomerys’ for dinner. It’s your mom’s birthday. And, oh my God, I’m going to have to go face your mother knowing that I slept with her son.”
I put my hands over my face, and Brenna started laughing. “Hey, at least you really slept with him and don’t have everybody wondering if you actually slept with him like I do.”
I glanced over at her. “What?”
“Beckett’s mother is a hundred percent sure that I’ve slept with Beckett. I have not. I promise you. I have never slept with Beckett Montgomery. Nor have I wanted to. I mean, there was a time when I had a tiny crush on him. And everybody thought that I loved him madly,” Brenna said, glaring at Annabelle.
Annabelle rolled her eyes. “You had puppy-dog eyes. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I do not love Beckett. He’s my best friend. We have issues. And I have a lot more of my own. However, I’ve never slept with him. You did, though. You and the Montgomery prince.”
“I thought Archer was the prince,” Paige grumbled.
That made me laugh. “Okay. Well, if you know, then the guys probably do, too,” I said to Brenna.
Brenna shrugged. “You’re right about that, even though it is odd, circular reasoning. They were there when Beckett called me.”
“He told you over the phone?” I asked, my eyes wide.
Brenna shook her head. “It’s a long story. But he told me because…no secrets. So, you and Beckett.”
“I don’t know if there is a me and Becket. It just happened. Now, we need to go to dinner and not talk about it again.”
“Okay, so we’re not talking about Beckett. We’re not talking about Marshall. We’re not talking about the love child,” Paige said and winced.
I sighed. “At least, not today. Today’s about your mother.”
“And yummy food,” Paige said. “And all the cheese.”
Annabelle sighed. “I miss cheese.”
“I’ll eat the cheese for you,” Brenna teased and winked.
Annabelle once again flipped her off and grumbled. “I don’t know if I like this solidarity.”
“You love us,” Paige said and pulled her sister to her feet.
“Okay, so we’re going to dinner, we’re going to celebrate your mom’s birthday, and we’re not going to mention that Beckett and I slept together. Or the love child. Not my love child with Beckett, I meant Marshall and what’s her face’s,” I added as the girls looked at me slightly cross-eyed.
“When did my life become a soap opera?” I asked, frowning.
“Probably around the time you were born with six strapping brothers and became the wee baby Wilder,” Paige said, grinning.
I laughed. “You’re the wee baby Montgomery. I bet your life is just as melodramatic.”
“I don’t know. I have a sweet boyfriend, one I love very much. And I’m happy.”
There was something in her tone that told me that maybe that wasn’t truly the case. After all, Paige wanted marriage. It had been over a year, and it still hadn’t happened. But I wasn’t going to mention it. I wasn’t even going to think about it. Because it wasn’t my place. Today, we were going to pretend that everything was fine—even though it wasn’t.
Today, I would have dinner with the Montgomerys and Beckett, and try to figure out what the hell I was doing. Because things were moving quickly, more so than I ever imagined.
Tonight, I needed to sit near Beckett and pretend that I hadn’t had his lips on mine, his hands everywhere.
And not wonder when we would do it again.
Chapter 18
Beckett
* * *
“I know you’re looking at the door and waiting for someone to arrive, but I have a feeling it has nothing to do with your sisters.”
I looked over at Lee and snorted. “Please stop trying to read my thoughts.”
“They’re written all over your face, buddy. It’s pretty easy to read those thoughts of yours.”
“Well, let’s just hope Mom and Dad don’t. They already growl at me enough.”
Lee leaned forward. “They were worried about you.”
“They don’t need to be. I’m fine.”
Lee studied my face and frowned. “You know, that’s the first time I think you’re telling the truth when you’re saying you’re fine.”
“I don’t know if it was more about what happened, or the fact that I was keeping it a secret. I need to talk to someone. Because I still think about it when I close my eyes, even though I try not to. But going over it and talking through it seems to have helped.”
“Maybe.”
“Perhaps Eliza is good for you,” he muttered, and I narrowed my eyes at my friend.
“Stop.”
He shook his head. “I’ll stop once you quit looking at the door, waiting for her to come through.”
“She’ll be here.”
He grinned. “Because you two talked about it?”
“Lee,” I grumbled.
“Aw, he usually only uses that tone of voice with me,” Archer said as he came to my side.
I narrowed my eyes at my little brother. “Well, you force me to use it so often.”
“But he’s getting better at it,” Marc said as he wrapped his arm around Archer’s waist. Archer rolled his eyes and leaned into his boyfriend’s side.
“Hey, I’m not that bad.”
I just blinked slowly at Archer as Marc looked down at him.
“Fine. I am a little annoying. But it could be worse.”
“Always,” I said, and Archer scrunched his nose.
“You’re so mean to me. Beat him up, Marc. Tell him to stop being mean to me.”
“Maybe later. I need to make a good impression on your parents.”
Archer sighed. “You already have. They love you.”
Marc shook his head. “Eh, maybe not so much, but they do tolerate me.”
Archer started speaking again as if finishing a conversation the two had already had before. I looked at Lee, and he shrugged. Apparently, he didn’t know what was going on either.
It wasn’t my problem. If Archer needed me, he’d let me know. We all liked Marc. He treated Archer well and seemed to love my little brother. I figured that was all that mattered.
But maybe there was something I didn’t see. I didn’t know the man all that well yet.
But I’d have to get to know him. Now that I’d gotten my head out of my ass and was actually talking to someone about what I was thinking, I could focus on my brother and his issues. Colton was here, too, having arrived even before Paige. That reminded me, I should probably worry about that relationship, as well. Jacob had arrived without Annabelle, and I kne
w that relationship was going well, but I was still the big brother, and I could be overprotective if I needed to. Just to make sure everybody kept on their toes.
“You’ve got that look,” Benjamin said from my side as he came up to Lee and me.
“What look?”
“The one where you’re thinking about being all growly to our family about their relationships. You keep glaring at the men who dare to be with our baby siblings.”
“Well, if you’d brought a girlfriend or boyfriend here, I might feel the same way about them.”
“Does that mean I can do the same when your girlfriend shows up?” Benjamin asked softly, and I froze. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“So, what is she?” Lee asked, leaning forward.
“I swear to God, you guys need lives. Stop butting into mine.”
“But it’s more fun to butt into yours.”
“Ah, here they are. This is going to be interesting,” Lee said as I turned to see my sisters, Brenna, and Eliza walk through the front door.
My parents greeted them and hugged them all tightly, and my mother fluttered around. My dad was a little gruff as usual since he wasn’t great at showing emotion. He also wasn’t very good at human contact, and it was a bit awkward. But he was getting better.
I guess having your family yell and threaten to walk away because of how you acted changed things.
“Ah, see, they already like Eliza. This is good,” Lee muttered.
“I will hurt you.”
“Threaten to castrate him,” Archer said, and I froze before we all turned slowly towards him.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
Archer had the grace to blush, and Marc closed his eyes, muttering something under his breath.
“It’s what the girls always used to joke about and threatened to do to us. Did I go too far?”
Marc sighed. “Please stop talking about castration.”
“What is it with this family and castration?” Annabelle asked as she walked forward, Jacob right behind her.
“Well, that’s something that will never leave my mind,” Jacob muttered. “What is with this family?”
“That should be our motto,” Paige said as she leaned into Colton’s side.
“No, I like our mottos,” Mom said as she walked over with my father.
“What mottos?” Dad asked gruffly. “And why do we keep talking about lopping off someone’s balls? That’s violent. And kind of rude.”
“Only kind of?” Paige asked as she kissed Dad’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now, no more talking about that. It’s your mother’s birthday. We are here to celebrate.”
“And this is only one celebration of two,” Mom said, grinning. “We’ll have the bigger Montgomery birthday party next weekend.”
“It should be fun,” my dad said. And considering that it was a meal with Mom’s siblings and some of the Montgomerys from around the state and country, he didn’t sound like he was faking it. He was trying. Getting over whatever illusions he’d had about being not quite as successful and popular as the other Montgomery family.
I had never seen it that way. We all worked hard and did our best in our respective lanes, but my dad had always been competitive. And because of that, it put a strain on the family. But we were dealing with it. Getting better.
But that tension, coupled with the attack, had changed things for me, and I had pushed everything deep inside to the point that I had hurt myself. But things were getting better. At least, I hoped so.
“Okay, now, let’s get started on hors d’oeuvres, and then I’m going to work towards everything else,” Mom said, clapping her hands together. “I’m so glad all my babies are here. And they brought all of their babies.”
Mom kept talking, going around and hugging each of my siblings again, but I only had eyes for one person.
Tension slid through me, but I ignored it. Eliza was here. Standing right next to Annabelle, her gaze on mine.
She was here.
Why was everything so awkward?
My mother hugged Eliza again, breaking our eye contact, and I moved out of the way, ignoring Lee’s glance and others’ as we filed into the dining room. Eliza came to my side, and I looked down at her, not saying anything. Then again, she didn’t say anything to me, either. Instead, I reached out my pinky and gently brushed hers. She blinked, looked down at our hands where they barely touched, and I heard the sharp intake of her breath. “Hi,” I whispered.
She looked up at me again. “Hi.”
“Will you sit next to me at dinner?” I asked softly.
Her eyes warmed, even as she bit her plump lower lip. “Does everybody know?”
“Most. Not Mom and Dad yet.”
“No secrets?”
“No. No secrets. But let’s not take over Mom’s birthday.”
Relief filled her gaze. “Thank God. Okay, I’d love to sit with you at dinner.”
“Okay, then.”
I had no idea what I was doing. This felt like it had happened out of the blue, but had it? She had always been there, had always been on my mind. There were always those little moments. Especially in the past year. Times when I had wanted to touch her, to pull her close and tell her that everything would be okay. When we had caught each other’s glances and did our best to look away quickly.
Because it hadn’t been appropriate before. It hadn’t been right.
And yet, right now, it felt like maybe it could be right.
Or perhaps I was just telling myself this so I wouldn’t feel like things were going too quickly. But were they? Yes, she was at my parents’ house for dinner, but it was because she was part of the family. She was Annabelle’s and Paige’s friend. She was my friend, too, but I wasn’t the connection here.
Did I want to be?
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I nearly missed the look my parents gave each other as they looked at us.
My mother had always been observant, even if she had done her best to ignore what was going on in front of her.
Well, then.
I swallowed hard, and we moved into the dining room, not sitting yet since we were all milling around, talking and getting drinks.
Eliza stood by my side, and I did my best not to notice every breath she took, but I felt the heat of her at my side.
Why had I ignored my attraction for so long? Yes, it made sense that I had and needed to. But now that I thought about it, there had always been heat there—at least on my side. Even if it was taboo.
“So, how’s the Jackson project coming?” my dad asked, and everybody stopped speaking to look over at my father. He was looking directly at me, a small smile on his face. “I’m not asking to jump in. But I am interested. I love what we do. I love the company. But I’m not going to butt in. Unless you want my opinion. Still, I want to know where you’re at. I don’t know, I feel like I’m off-balance here.” He shrugged, then stuck his hands into his pockets. My mother linked her arm with his and patted his chest.
“It’s okay, honey. I know you’re trying.”
He smiled down at her and blinked. They looked happy. Much less stressed than they had in recent years. I met my siblings’ gazes, and they shrugged.
We were all trying, doing our best not to fuck up. But life didn’t make things easy. No, it made things a little more complicated. Brenna and Lee stood off to the side, a little apart from the rest of us, and I hated that. I wanted to know what Brenna was dealing with, but I’d wait until she felt comfortable enough to tell me. Lee was never good at the whole big-family thing, but he hung out with us because he was our friend.
Paige’s significant other, Colton, was slightly off to the side, as well, but still with our people. Eliza stood behind me, closer to Annabelle and Jacob, yet still in my periphery.
We were all part of a whole, yet the complicated pieces didn’t quite fit together. Maybe it was my secrets that had made me feel slightly off. Maybe it was the way Dad had treated
us at the company. I didn’t know. But I was the eldest brother; I needed to fix things—somehow. I couldn’t fix what was going on with Brenna right now, not that it was my place to do so, but I would damned well try when and if an opportunity presented itself. And I couldn’t fix this feeling inside me when it came to Eliza, at least not yet. But I could be the big brother, and I could try.
I cleared my throat.
“We’re right on track. Annabelle’s working up a new set of plans for the addition to the project that the client was asking for.”
Annabelle cleared her throat as she gave me a small smile. “Yes, and I’m having fun with it. I think you and Mom might actually want to look it over. It’s something different, but it reminds me a little bit of what you guys did back in the mid-nineties.”
“Oh?” my mom asked, grinning. It looked as if somebody had pulled a thousand pounds of weight off each of their shoulders. They both leaned forward, wanting to know more.
We weren’t quite there yet. We weren’t the cohesive, funny, loud, and sarcastic Montgomery bunch the rest of my cousins were, but we were getting there.
At least, I hoped so.
“Maybe you can come in on Monday and look?” Paige asked, bouncing on her toes. Colton had his hand on her hip, keeping her in place, and she smiled up at him. “I mean, if you want to come into the building. If it’s not too much.”
Benjamin cleared his throat. “There’s a couple of things you might want to look at. Just to see. We’re pretty proud of it.”
My dad looked at me then, and then at Archer. Archer shrugged. “We’d love to have you.”
I looked at my dad. “Seriously. We love you guys. We’re figuring this all out, but you’re our parents. You built this company. And now it’s ours, but we don’t hate you guys. We don’t want to push you out completely to the point where you’re never part of anything we do.”
“And I’ll do my best not to barrel through like a bull in a china shop and fuck things over.”
“Language,” my mom said, and my dad rolled his eyes.
“I’m pretty sure you’re the one who taught the girls to say ‘fuck’ before I did.”
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