It had been a couple of months since I had broken down in front of him. Sixty or so days since I had started to fall.
We were still finding our way. In reality, I had fallen for him long before those months. Because he had always been here. There’d always been that moment where I knew I shouldn’t look at him a certain way or notice how he filled out his jeans. Where I shouldn’t have noticed the glances. The touches. Or how he bit his lip when he was thinking.
I had. Even when I had been mourning and figuring out who I was. I had noticed it all.
And now, he was mine.
I hadn’t told him what I was feeling because I still couldn’t process what I was going through. I was making it work.
Somehow, we were making it work.
“What’s this color again?” Brenna asked as she worked on the trim.
“Flannel gray. It doesn’t look too purple?” I asked.
“I don’t think so. It’s so hard to tell what grays are like, even with a patch test. The light hits it one way, and it turns blue or green or taupe or purple.”
“You just said this wasn’t purple,” I said with a laugh.
“Because it’s not.”
“Okay, whatever you say.” I moved.
“Hey, don’t get paint in your hair. After you’re done painting with Beckett today, you said you and he had a date.” She waggled her brows, and I laughed.
“Yes, a fun date.”
“I thought a fun date wouldn’t be out in public. I don’t really know what the two of you have going on.”
I looked at her then, and she smiled. I had once thought Brenna wanted Beckett in a way that went beyond friendship. I had been wrong. I hadn’t hurt her by falling for Beckett or being with him. If anything, it had made our relationship stronger because of their connection.
Something else was going on with Brenna. Something that made her a little hesitant to do certain things. It had nothing to do with Beckett or me. Hopefully, she would tell us one day. Until then, I would be her friend and do whatever she needed me to do.
I just hoped that she would tell us what was on her mind someday.
“Okay, that’s the last of this brush. I need to get the other one out.”
“We did sort of go a little rough on the brushes.”
“It’s the texture on the walls. They tend to do that. It’s a beautiful look.”
“Don’t comment on how the Montgomerys build their homes, considering they actually own this one.”
“True, but without the texture on the walls, the house would have lacked life, been too flat. It was a good choice. It just doesn’t like my paintbrush. Or maybe I’m being a little too rough.”
I gave her a look. “Something on your mind that you need to get out using a paintbrush?”
Brenna shook her head. “No. Everything’s fine.”
I gave her a look. “If you say so.”
She shook her head again. “Seriously. I’m good. Now, I’m going to get rid of this, and then I need to head out. Beckett will be here soon, right?”
“Yes. And then we can get the ceiling done, and then we’re going out for lunch. You’re coming too, right?” I asked.
“On your date?” She raised a brow. “Apparently, yes, I am.”
I laughed. “We’re just going down to Colton’s friend’s restaurant. Sitting out in the sun on the patio and enjoying ourselves. We told Paige we would.”
“Okay, I’ll be there. Are all of us going?”
“No, I think people are staggering their visits throughout the week, depending on their schedules.”
“Okay. I’ll be there later. Have fun.”
“I will.”
“And make sure you make Beckett do all the hard work.”
“Always.”
After I walked Brenna out, I cleaned up a few of the messes we had made and smiled as I heard the knock at the door. Beckett knew he was always welcome to just let himself in. After all, it was his sister’s home—my home. And he had a key. We liked our slight boundaries, whatever they were. I smiled at him as I opened the door.
“You look adorable. I didn’t know you owned overalls.”
I laughed and looked down at myself. “I look a little ridiculous. These are some of my paint-stained clothes.”
“With your work, I assumed most of your clothes would be paint-stained.”
“True, but these are my house-painting clothes. Sometimes, I unhook one of the straps and pretend I’m Tom Sawyer.”
“Meaning you get someone else to do the painting for you?”
“I have you here, don’t I?” I teased.
He laughed, leaned down, and kissed me. It was a deep one, no warm peck to say hello. I groaned, barely holding back a sigh.
“The bed was cold when you left it this morning.”
He smiled against my lips, his beard slightly rough in a way that sent shivers down my spine. “Well, somebody has to work. You were sleeping in lazily.”
I stretched. “It was comfortable. I wish you could have stayed.”
“You know you’re spending the night at my house, right?” he asked.
“Yes, because you promised me two dates today. Lunch and dinner.”
“And dessert, of course,” he said, waggling his brows.
I laughed and tugged him into the house. “Honestly, we only have the ceiling to do. If we don’t want to get too much paint on ourselves and make it to lunch on time to meet everybody, I should probably shower.”
His eyes darkened. “Showering sounds good.”
I held up my hands. “Whoa, I said we don’t want to be late. If you’re busy eating me out in the shower, we’re not going to make it on time.”
He licked his lips.
“I could use a pre-lunch. And that pussy of yours sounds pretty wonderful.”
“Beckett,” I said, blushing.
“What? I promise to feed you, too. You liked my cock in your mouth.”
“And on that note, I’m going to shower. Alone.”
“I’ll finish checking the office to see what needs to be done when we get back.”
“You are too good to me.”
He met my gaze and shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I could be better.” He kissed me again, and I was lost in him. I told myself I didn’t have to be, that we didn’t need more than the words we had, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted more. And I hoped he did, too.
I quickly showered, did my hair up in a quick braid around the crown of my head, and came out wearing jeans with strategically placed holes, a cute flowy top, and wedges that I knew Beckett liked because they made my ass look great.
At least, that’s what he had told me once.
And given how his eyes darkened, and he let out a little grunt, I assumed the wedges and jeans did their job.
“You’re killing me,” he rasped.
“What? Is there something on my jeans?” I asked, laughing as I spun around on my toes.
“You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Well, it’d be a good way to go,” I said on a laugh. He bit my lip before he kissed me hard, and I pushed him away. “Okay, we are going to go meet everybody. I was promised food.”
He sighed. “Fine. Food it is. Only because I like you.”
“That’s so kind of you,” I said on a laugh. He kissed me again, and we made our way to his car, and then to the restaurant.
“Who’s meeting us here?” I asked as Beckett turned off the engine.
“I think Benjamin said he was coming. Archer and Marc have something to do with Marc’s friends.”
I frowned at his tone. “Something wrong there?”
He shook his head. “No, I just don’t see Archer as much as I’d like to these days. Even though we work together, he’s usually off with Marc.”
“They’re happy. In love. That’s sort of what couples do. They spend time together.”
“Yes, but I’m selfish. I want my family to spend time with me.”
&nb
sp; “That wasn’t always the case with you.”
“Well, I’m done keeping secrets.” He kissed me again, and we made our way inside. They had our names on the list, and we sat down, waiting for Beckett’s twin to arrive. Benjamin showed soon after, Brenna on his heels.
“Hi, there,” I said as Benjamin leaned down to kiss my cheek. Beckett growled a little, but I knew it was only for show.
“Colton and Paige said this place was great,” Benjamin said as he pulled Brenna’s chair back. She gave him a look, and he just raised a brow. “Come on, sit down.”
“Okay,” she said before taking the seat daintily. “This isn’t a date.”
“Oh, don’t worry, it isn’t,” Benjamin said, laughing.
She rolled her eyes, and I just shook my head. “Nobody else is coming?” Brenna asked, giving Benjamin a pointed look.
Benjamin just shrugged. “Annabelle and Jacob are at their ultrasound. Paige and Colton have already come a few times. And I don’t know about the others.”
Beckett nodded. “Mom and Dad came yesterday, Archer and Marc are doing something, and I know Clay and the kids wanted to come, but there’s a birthday party for one of the kid’s friends.”
“And I’m sure Riggs would have wanted to join, too,” I teased, and Brenna lifted her water glass to cheers with me.
“Pretty much,” Brenna said on a laugh.
“Okay, stop matchmaking, you two,” Beckett said, his hand on my thigh.
I looked at him then, and everything felt wonderful. We were here, together, and though I didn’t know what would happen next or where Beckett and I were going, we were happy. I hadn’t spoken to my in-laws since the incident, and I didn’t know if I would. There had been no lawyers. Nothing. I still hadn’t made a decision about the money, but I needed to come to terms with my life first before I thought about anybody else’s and the things piling up on my plate.
I was in a new relationship, I was falling in love, and I was figuring out who I was. Thoughts of who Marshall had been didn’t need to take over my life. Beckett held me close as we waited for our order, laughing and enjoying our mimosas.
This was a perfect day. I was happy. After so long, I finally realized what I had been missing. Peace.
Beckett leaned down and looked at me. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“Everything. You. Just being happy.”
“Y’all are so sweet, it’s making me sick,” Brenna said, and Benjamin just shook his head, quiet as usual.
Beckett opened his mouth to say something, and then his eyes widened before he shouted. There were screams, and I looked over my shoulder, but I couldn’t get any words out. I couldn’t do anything.
A car came right at us, hopped the curb, the driver’s head down. Everything moved fast then. Beckett pulled my shoulder, wrenching my arm practically out of its socket. I pushed at the metal railing that separated the patio from the street, trying to get away, but the car was coming right at us. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Benjamin throw Brenna to the ground, covering her with his body as glass shattered and metal clanged and twisted. There were screams, and Beckett’s arms were around my waist, and then I was falling. I hit the ground, my palms scraping. Then there was a shout, an oath, and then Beckett was gone.
I looked around, and the car was over the table where we had just been. Benjamin and Brenna were slowly getting to their feet, but Brenna was still screaming. There was a sharp sound, and I realized I was screaming, too.
Because Beckett was passed out beside me, a jagged tear on his side, blood pooling under him.
I kept screaming.
Beckett wouldn’t wake up.
It had happened again. It was happening again.
I was losing him. And I hadn’t told him that I loved him.
I kept screaming.
Even as I put my hands on his body, trying to do something, calling for help. Others came, but I couldn’t do anything. When the screaming finally stopped, I held my hands over his wound, trying to stop the bleeding.
I was going to lose him. Just like I had lost Marshall.
And I hadn’t even told him that I loved him.
I was going to lose him.
Lose everything.
Again.
Chapter 22
Beckett
* * *
“I’m fine,” I reminded my parents as my mother held my hand tightly. Not tight enough to hurt me, she was too small to do that, but she still had a tight grip.
“I know you are. Somehow, you made it through with no broken bones, just some cuts that took a bunch of stitches and a lovely hurt back. The same hurt back that happened during the shooting.”
“Don’t guilt him,” my dad rumbled from her side. “We’ve already guilted him enough over the past few months. We don’t need to continue doing it.”
“My baby was hurt,” Mom said as she pushed my hair away from my face.
“I love you so much, baby boy.”
My chest ached but still warmed at her words. “I thought I was your eldest. Not your baby.”
“You’ll always be my baby.” She paused. “And now I have that song in my head. I think I need sleep.”
“You haven’t slept all night, and it’s well into the morning. Let me take you home.” My father kissed Mom’s temple then leaned down to grip my hand over my mother’s. “I love you. I’m glad you’re okay. There’s a very loud room waiting for you.”
“Is Eliza out there? Is she okay?” I asked, my chest tightening.
“Yes, she’s there. She’ll be here for you soon, son.”
My chest was still tight, but relief speared me slightly. After I had woken up in the hospital, everyone had explained to me what’d happened. A woman had had her first seizure, one she hadn’t realized she would ever have while behind the wheel. She had passed out after. Everything had scared her so much that she was currently sedated in the room next to mine. Thankfully, she was fine. As was everyone else. I had been the most hurt.
Her car had hopped the curb, gone through the guardrail, and smashed into where we were seated. Benjamin had pulled Brenna to safety, and though they had a few cuts and scrapes from the flying glass, they were fine. Eliza had a few scrapes on her palms from when I had shoved her down to the ground and out of the way, but she would be okay. I had been bumped from the table as the car hit me, but it had been going slow enough that I didn’t have any internal injuries or broken bones. Just some lacerations and abrasions—the worst on my side.
I felt like a very big bruise. They gave me eight stitches and I had bled enough that I’d scared everybody, but I would make it out of the hospital soon. Maybe even tomorrow morning.
I didn’t have a concussion, but I had passed out for a little bit—mostly from the shock, they had said.
All I could think of as I fell was about Eliza. I had seen Brian’s face instead of hers for just an instant. As if he were the one next to me, bleeding out. Not Eliza, reaching for me, trying to stop the bleeding in my side.
I had hurt my back again, too, and would need rehab—after the stitches were out, of course. I would be fine, though, and I kept telling everybody that. My family didn’t care. They kept telling me that they needed to make sure that I was alive and okay.
I was. Only I needed to see Eliza.
“We’re going to let the next horde in,” Mom said. “We love you.”
“I love you, too.”
My dad gave me a look, and I nodded.
We had been scared enough times recently that there were no more hard feelings. We weren’t the same people we were before. the Montgomery family feud was over. It had to be. And we were finding our place.
I just needed to see Eliza. Only she wasn’t the person who walked in next. Benjamin and Lee walked in, a scowl on my twin’s face.
He leaned forward. “You’re okay?”
“I didn’t hurt this pretty face, and I’m glad your pretty face is just as good.”
“Scared the s
hit out of me,” Benjamin growled.
“This is the loudest he’s been the entire time,” Lee said, shaking his head. “It took forever to get your twin out of the waiting room. He kept pacing, and I was afraid he was going to growl at somebody and hurt them.”
Benjamin scowled. “My twin was hurt.”
“You didn’t feel it?” I asked, only joking.
My twin must have been beyond jokes because he just shook his head. “You know we don’t have twin phantom pain, you asshole. Don’t do that again.”
“Thank you for pulling Brenna out of the way,” I said softly.
Benjamin sighed. “You pulled Eliza out of the way. I just wish I could have pulled you out of the way.”
“I see you chose Brenna over me.”
My twin scowled, true emotion in his gaze. “Asshole. She was closer. And you were moving out of the way yourself. I don’t know, I guess we both thought to save the women. Don’t tell them that.”
“Dear God, don’t tell them that,” Lee said with a sigh. “We’re just here to check on you. You’re fine. Now I’m going to go tuck Benjamin in and make sure he’s safe.”
“You are an adorable couple,” I said.
Lee flipped me off. “Hey, Benjamin couldn’t do better than me.”
“Thanks for that,” Benjamin drawled and gave me a tight nod as they left.
Paige and Colton came in next, as my little sister wrung her hands together. “I’m so sorry you were hurt. We should have been there.”
“And then my little sister could have been hurt.”
“I wanted to say thank you for helping my friend’s new restaurant out. Fuck, man,” Colton said shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I hope your friend’s place can recover.”
Colton sighed. “We’ll make it work. I’m going to help out where I can.”
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