Dropping my hand, I watch as she turns around to face me. She slowly tilts her head back and looks up into my eyes. I can see the wetness shining in her gaze and my heart almost cracks at the sight of her crying.
Nicola is strong, unbreakable, tough as nails, or at least that’s how I imagined her being. Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek and use the pad of my thumb to wipe the tears from beneath her eyes as they begin to fall.
“Why are you crying?” I chance asking.
She shrugs a shoulder. “I’m silly, that’s all. Ignore me,” she lies.
Dipping my chin, I think about kissing her, about slipping my tongue inside of her sweet mouth and tasting her again, a taste that I don’t think I could ever get tired of, not ever in my life.
“You’re not. I have a feeling you know a hell of a lot more than you’re letting on. I’m going to want to know every single thing that’s holed up in that pretty little head of yours,” I say.
She gives me a ghost of a smile, then shifts her gaze to the side. “Whatever you need from me that has to do with the famiglia, you have it, Benny. Just ask. I never meant to hurt you back then. I had to do what I did, or at least I thought that I did at the time. I was only eighteen. My options and choices in life have always been extremely limited, even now.”
I know that she’s right. She’s always been kept in a box and never allowed to live her own life. My disappointment, my hurt and anger, it doesn’t just disappear even when I know that she didn’t have much of a choice.
I’m just not sure if I’ll ever be able to get past what happened between us. I don’t think I can ever truly forgive and move on. Holding her now, her soft face in my palm, her eyes shedding tears, I wish that I could.
“I want you at my side during this meeting tonight. In fact, I don’t want you out of my sight, Nicola,” I announce.
She frowns, blinking her tears away, then tilts her head to the side. “Why?” she asks, looking so goddamn sweet and innocent, it makes me want to do nothing except strip that innocence away.
“You know a hell of a lot. I want all of your knowledge on this famiglia, no matter how small.”
She doesn’t respond immediately, then I watch her lick her lips before her gaze shifts to the side then is brought right back to me.
“I’ll be at your side on one condition and one only,” she offers.
Arching a brow, I wait to hear her. “When this is finished. When you have complete control over the famiglia and you are without a doubt the true boss. When you’re finished with me and your marriage to someone else is arranged. I want my freedom.”
My heart stops beating in my chest at her request. I can’t deny it and yet, that’s all that I want to do. I want to scream at her, tell her absolutely not and lock her away in my room making her mine and keeping her forever.
But.
I can’t do that.
She’s right. Gavino will require me to marry and if I don’t pick someone that will benefit the famiglia in some way, then he won’t approve of the union.
Nicola will never be my wife, not just because she’s no longer of value to the famiglia, but because I can’t trust her in that way, to be my partner. I thought that I could once, but it was all based on lies and manipulation.
“You’ll have it, Nicola. You’ll have your freedom and a stipend,” I lie. I know it’s a lie as soon as the words leave my lips.
I may never be able to marry her, to trust her like that again, but I’ll also never be able to let her walk away from me, not a second time.
NICOLA
Benicio Martinelli is a liar.
I don’t call him on his lies though. I’ll prove to him that he can trust me, that I am valuable, and then I will not only get my freedom—I will earn it.
Nodding, I lick my lips and inhale a deep breath through my nose. “You have a deal, Benicio.”
I don’t demand the deal be in writing, because I know that he would never agree to it. Even if he did, I also know how these men work. He would have a loophole written in and then I would be shit-out-of-luck.
So, instead, I hope that I can earn my freedom. That he’ll be a decent human and let me live the second half of my life in peace.
“Come inside. I want you to tell me anything you need to tell me, but maybe you can point me to the hidden safes?” he asks.
Smirking, I take a step to the side. He’s good, this man. He knows that the ones he’s found don’t have any of the good shit in them.
“What makes you think there are hidden safes?” I ask.
He tilts his head to the side, dipping his chin slightly and widening his eyes. I can’t hold back my laugh. It bubbles out of me and then I watch as his lips twitch. He shakes his head a couple of times before he lifts his gaze to the sky.
“C’mon, passerotta,” he rumbles.
We both freeze.
Little sparrow.
He called me that when he loved me, when he trusted me, when he paid for me. When I was his whore.
I don’t allow the moment to become any more awkward than it already is. Deciding to move back into the house, to give him my first test of faith and show him where the not one, but two, hidden safes are, I unstick my high heeled shoes from the concrete and attempt to move past him.
He doesn’t let me breeze past him. Instead, he reaches out and wraps his hand around my bicep, squeezing me gently.
“Nicola,” he murmurs, his voice husky, low and far too damn sexy.
Lifting my head, I look into his eyes. “It’s hard to let habits die, Benny. Don’t think anything of it. Now, let’s go get to those safes. I don’t know the combinations, but I know their locations.”
“How?” he asks.
Arching a brow, I lick my lips. “Insurance, Benicio.”
“In case the Feds came knocking?”
I snort. “I’m no snitch. In fact, if I wanted to call them, I could have any time that I wanted to. But, I knew something like this would happen one day. Also, like I told you, all the business was done in my name. Those deeds are in there, and if I ever wanted to do anything, I would need those.”
“Like take over?” he asks, widening his eyes.
“You know that as a woman, I never could.”
“But you could aid someone who wanted to. You could strong arm your father.”
I shrug a shoulder. “I figured if I fell in love. If I was promised to a Made Man who wanted me for more than just a pussy, who was strong enough to take over, then I would do whatever was in my power to be a good mafia wife.”
“But not me?” he asks, his blue eyes turning almost black.
Shaking my head, I wrap my hand around his wrist as he squeezes my bicep. “Nothing was in my name when we were together, Benicio. After you was when he started switching things around. When I was no longer of use as his fucking whore, he needed another use for me. His fall woman in case the Feds came. If he were ever discovered, his name was clear because all the business, dirty, clean, whatever, it was all in my name,” I explain.
“I’m glad he’s dead,” Benicio hisses.
“Me, too,” I agree.
“The money also filters through my checking account before it’s wire transferred offshore to an account set up also, in my name, but I don’t have access to it.”
“Fuck, he thought of everything.”
“Yeah, I had a feeling someone, maybe his Consigliere was the one who arranged it all. Mauro Ricci was a savvy businessman and boss, but he wasn’t that savvy.”
Benicio snorts. “No shit.”
He releases his hold on me, and I don’t linger. The moment is a sweet one between us and I don’t want to sour it by saying, or doing, anything wrong. I just want to show him the safes and then take a little time to myself. I want to be able to just breathe.
My calm from earlier is completely shattered. I need to find a little solitude and close my eyes. Maybe I can text Q for another, less intense, session later tonight, after this meeting is finished.
Yes, I’m going to contact Q. I won’t be able to survive living with Benicio without having the emotional and mental release that Q provides me.
Chapter Seven
NICOLA
My hands tremble as I slide them down my hips and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Benicio has already warned me that this meeting will start at ten in the evening, sharp. He’s also demanded that I be ready at nine-thirty and at his side in my father’s shed out at the back of the property.
All I want to do is walk straight out of the back gate, slip into Q’s car, and disappear. It’s what I want to do, but I won’t actually do it. I want my shot at freedom and defying Benicio at his second request wouldn’t be wise.
His first request, or rather my offer, to show him the two hidden safes in the house went well. I showed him, then disappeared up here to my space.
I haven’t heard from him since, but I have heard a lot of banging around and power tools being used. I don’t know what that means, but I also don’t really want to know. If he wants to gut the whole house, then he can do whatever he wants. According to the famiglia, this is now his home.
Tonight, I’m wearing all black. A black pencil skirt that hits right at my knees with an indecent slit in the back that stops just below my ass.
On my feet, five-inch high-heeled black patent leather shoes with the infamous red soles that I tend to be drawn to when I’m shopping online.
Deciding to forego anything too low cut, I put on a simple black sheer button-up blouse and add a black spaghetti strapped shell beneath it. Still extremely sexy, but less actual skin on display and more an illusion of skin instead.
Tucking my blouse into my skirt, I leave my hair long and curled, my makeup flawless and stare for another moment.
This is it.
I’m going to have to stand in front of a hundred or so soldiers at the side of the man who is taking over my family’s legacy. I’m going to have to judge them, give life and death orders. I’ll also watch some of their lives end and not give a reaction to that.
There’s a quiet knock on my door.
It’s him.
I can tell by the way he knocks, I can practically feel his close proximity. Reaching for my phone, I grip it in my palm. I haven’t been able to check my messages. I have the urge to see if Q has contacted me, but decide against it, at least not until I can do it privately.
Reaching for the knob, I twist it and pull the door open. I was right, Benicio waits for me on the other side. His eyes scan my entire body, then reach my face and his lips turn up into a smirk.
“Why do you always look like some prissy mafia principessa bitch?”
Arching a brow, I don’t show him any kind of reaction to his choice of words. “This is how I’ve always been required to look, at all times. I’m sorry if that disappoints you.”
“Disappointed? Never. Wondering what the fuck you’re trying to prove? Yes.”
“My father told me that all mafia women look this way. Never show too much, yet always show enough to keep people interested. Always look perfect, untouchable and unbreakable.” I take a step closer to him and touch the side of his jaw with my fingertips. “And always look like just enough of a challenge,” I breathe.
He grunts, lifting his hand and wrapping his fingers around my wrist with a gentle squeeze. I hold my breath, wondering what he’s going to do next. He turns his head, touches his lips to my fingertips, then shifts his gaze over to meet my own.
“You’re all of those things, Nicola. Perfect, untouchable, unbreakable and just enough of a fucking challenge that just by being present in a room you make every man’s cock hard. I hate that.”
Pressing my red painted lips together, I release them with a small shrug of my shoulder. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
He shakes his head once. “Me too, Nicola. More than you could ever know.”
Before either one of us says anything else, a throat clears behind Benicio. He drops his hand, then turns around and gives his back to me.
“Ermanno, you remember Nicola. She’s going to join me, are we ready?” Benicio asks, never turning around to even glance back at me.
Ermanno’s gaze shifts from Benicio to me. I watch as heat enters his gaze, but he quickly shakes it off. He clears his throat again, then jerks his chin.
“Costa is in the shed, everything is ready. The men will start to arrive soon, we should be down there and ready for them,” he murmurs.
Benicio nods his head then takes a step from me. I wait for him to say something, anything, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just walks down the stairs, expecting me to follow him like a puppy.
I hate it, but not because he expects me to follow him. I hate that he knows, without a doubt, that I will, that he holds so much power over me that I will do anything he demands of me—anything.
The three of us walk in silence, and I take a moment to check my phone. I have two messages from Q and immediately the muscles in my entire body tighten.
Q: WHEN YOU NEED ME AGAIN, MESSAGE ME.
Q: I’LL BE WAITING AT THE BACK-GATE TOMORROW EVENING. MIDNIGHT.
I check the date and time of this message and it was only an hour ago. I can wait twenty-six hours.
As long as I keep reminding myself that my relief will come, it will be here shortly. I’m going to need it after this meeting, after an evening with Benicio.
I WILL BE THERE.
My text is short, but it’s all that’s needed. All that Q required. We don’t speak much. He knows more than he should, but not because I’ve told him about my life. I haven’t.
I just want to feel free, even for a moment, even when I’m not. My mind needs what he gives it. My body craves the endorphins that he provides.
The shed comes into view and I power my phone down as Benicio stands at the doorway, holding it open for me to pass through. Ermanno is already inside and it leaves the two of us out here in the dark.
“This will get ugly, Nicola,” Benicio informs me.
“I have no doubt that it will,” I drawl.
He smirks, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Without saying another word to him, I slip past him and into the dimly lit shed.
Costa is standing in the corner, his body still, but the whites of his eyes are directed toward me. He dips his chin, but otherwise doesn’t move or say a single word. I don’t blame him, he almost lost his life today.
“Go up to the front. The men will file through here. I’ll be there in a second,” Benicio orders without looking at me.
He’s all business, or maybe he just doesn’t want to look at me anymore. I don’t blame him, I mean he does despise me and doesn’t make it any kind of secret that he does. I wish that he would just ship me off and be rid of me, but I’m under no illusion, he wants to angry fuck me before he tosses me out.
Hopefully, I won’t fall deeper in love with him. I have a feeling that I could and that will hurt like a bitch when I have to leave.
When I have to watch him marry and have children with the woman chosen for him. When I have to watch him live the life that I always wanted at his side from afar.
BENICIO
I ignore Nicola for the most part. Not that I want to, just that I can’t show her attention in front of the men, even if Costa and Ermanno are the only ones here so far. Nobody can know how I truly feel about her, fuck, I don’t even know if I do.
I hate her, but I understand why she did what she did. I’m angry, but I don’t want to kill her anymore. I just want to be inside of her, to feel her body wrapped around mine again, to make her come.
“Nicola, stay there, the men have started to arrive,” I announce after glancing down at my phone.
My new security system is in full effect. I get an alert any time the motion detectors go off. Every single thing is recorded and sent directly to my phone. Next up will be the
new steel doors that I’m going to have installed, then the bulletproof glass for the windows.
I’m not fucking around if I’m going to be living here. I have no doubt that Mauro Ricci Senior created a fucking ton of enemies and tonight I’ll be creating even more.
So, I’m not taking any goddamn chances with my own life, and if I’m being honest, I’m not taking them with Nicola’s either.
A few moments later, the room begins to fill with soldiers. I see men in varying ages, heights, weight, and expressions being worn on their faces.
“I want them split into men who you think will follow without issue, men you are on the fence with, and men who you know without a doubt will not fall into line,” I say, instructing Costa.
He lifts his chin, pushing off of the wall and starts to head toward them. I watch for a moment, then jerk my chin toward Ermanno. “I want you at the door. It’s the only way in or out of this building. Nobody leaves alive without my permission.”
Without a word, he turns from me and makes his way over to the door. I watch as a few more men file into the room. I glance over to Costa and tilt my head to the side.
“One more crew is on the way, Boss,” he offers, answering my silent question.
I decide to wait to begin my speech until they arrive. Checking my camera system, I monitor each of the estate’s entry points to make sure that there is no shady business happening around the property, the house, or this shed. I am not about to get fucked over in the middle of my takeover speech.
The last crew arrives a few moments later, I do one last search of the premises while Costa puts the unsuspecting men into groups.
Unfortunately, there are quite a few more on the not-a-chance-in-following-me side than the other two.
It truly is unfortunate for them, I personally don’t give a fuck, but they’re going to be no good to their families labeled a traitor to the famiglia and dead.
Becoming his Possession: A Zanetti Famiglia Novel Page 6
