by Tina Martin
“Not today. I’m leaving in a little while.”
“Got to get back home to the wife, huh?” Julie said, then winked at him.
“Do you have anything I need to sign before I go?”
She thought for a moment and said, “No, but I sent you an email about an hour ago from Thomas Corbitt…looked important so you might want to tackle it before you leave.”
“Will do. Thanks, Julie.”
“No problem. Anywho, I’ll get out of your hair now.”
Before she could completely close the door, he said, “Oh, and Julie, send out a reminder to everyone about the mixer tomorrow night.”
“Will do, Sir. Should I mention anything about your new wife, or did you want to spring it on everyone when they arrive?”
“Probably would be a good idea to tell them in the reminder.”
“Alrightly. I’ll get right on it,” Julie said glowing with excitement and glad she would be the one to tell the news to everyone.
Carter took the picture from his desk again, feeling a burst of anger with much contrition. He felt a tightness in his chest as he thought about Shayla, her hard life and the thoughts of his sweet, innocent wife being beaten and so damaged, the only way she saw out of her situation was suicide – same as his brother – and that made him sick to his stomach.
After responding to the email that Julie brought to his attention, Carter shut down his workstation, slid on his shades and walked out of the office, instructing Julie to call him on his cell if she needed to reach him for any reason.
Standing outside now, he looked up at the sky with his bloodshot eyes hiding behind dark frames. It was a beautiful sky – a soft, light-blue canvass dressed with thick, cotton-white clouds. The smell of food filled Uptown streets. So did crowds of people as they hurried to fill their midday cravings and head back to work for another four hours of mind-bending labor.
Carter placed his hands in his pocket and proceeded to the corner of Trade and Tryon Streets. He felt the need to revisit the location where he found Shayla, seeking closure, but there would never be any real closure unless he confessed to her who he really was. This was a secret he couldn’t keep any longer, for the sake of their marriage and his own sanity.
The walk indicator light signaled him to proceed across Tryon Street, passing a group of business men. He continued pass Independence Center and on to the location where it happened, where he found her. He noticed a few people sitting on the benches near the area, but in his mind, he could see Shayla lying there. The image of her cold, dirty and so close to death was embedded in his mind like a recurring bad dream. He could recall yelling for help, the crowd gathering and the loud sirens hollering. He could feel her cold hands, frigid purple lips, her lifeless state.
His eyes watered behind his shades thinking about this – about how he could have prevented all of it. He reflected back to when he told his Mother about Jacob’s suicide note…
“How did this happen to our family, Mother? How did this happen to us? Jacob is dead…my only brother is dead!” Carter said, his head hanging low.
“Jacob didn’t want anything to do with us—”
“Yeah, because you drove him away! Me and Jacob used to be best friends…like brothers should be. Then you kept filling his head with all this garbage about me being better and how he should be more like me. He was his own person. He had his own life. He didn’t need to be me!”
“I was just telling him the truth!”
“How? By making him feel unworthy?”
“Call it what you want, but the truth of the matter is, you will never be anything in this world if you don’t have money. Jacob didn’t understand that and that’s why he took his own life – he didn’t have money to do nothing and he realized that I was right!”
“No, you weren’t right, Mother. You were wrong!”
“If I was so wrong, why did you turn out to be so successful? Hunh?”
“Because you brainwashed me into thinking that having money is all there is—”
“Money is all there is! Can you imagine how pitiful you would be right now if you didn’t have money – if you didn’t have your career?”
Carter sighed and shook his head., “I don’t know what happened to you. The truth is, we were happier before the money, Mother. When the money came, you changed. You loved it more than you ever loved me and Jacob, and the only reason you put me through college and made sure I had a successful life was not because you wanted me to be happy. You wanted me to make sure that you stayed happy and financially stable for the rest of your life. It’s not right! You destroyed Jacob and it’s not right! You belittled him every chance you got…told him he was no good, that his father was no good and that he would never amount to anything. You destroyed him! And you destroyed this family!”
Carter watched his Mother tremble. She hadn’t even shed a tear at Jacob’s funeral, but she cried in front of Carter, accepting some responsibility for Jacob’s depression. She demanded too much of Jacob. Now he was gone.
“He wrote me a letter, Mother,” Carter said in a low monotone. “He asked me to take care of his fiancée. I can’t find her and I was wondering if you know where she might be. Her name is Shayla Kline.”
“Jacob wrote you?” she asked, wiping her eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Can I see it?”
“No you can’t see it. I just need to know where she is.”
“I don’t know,” she said in tears. “I didn’t know he was seeing anyone…didn’t know he was engaged.”
“Of course not. You wouldn’t know. You didn’t know anything about your own son. You should be ashamed,” Carter said then left her there sobbing.
* * *
Carter took a long breath then emerged from his vehicle and on into the house. He heard noise in the kitchen, so he went there first, saw Shayla slicing turkey and cheese sandwiches in halves. She dropped the knife on the table and ran up to him, jumping in his arms, locking her legs around him.
“Hey baby.” She kissed him erratically, all over his face, neck, everywhere and he loved it.
“You must be happy to see me,” he quipped.
“I’m always happy to see you, honey.” Shayla wiggled out of his grasp, stood in front of him and studied his face. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure, because I think I know you well enough to know when something is wrong.”
“I’m fine, baby…just been thinking about what you told me this morning, and it hurts me that you went through so much.”
“See, Carter, that’s why I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“No, don’t misunderstand. I’m glad you told me. It’s not in the back of my mind anymore…just wish I could’ve done something to help you.”
“Sweetheart, you’ve done enough to help me.” She stood on her tiptoes so that she was high enough to kiss him. Then, sauntering to the pantry, she grabbed a bag of plain Lay’s potato chips. On to the refrigerator, she grabbed a soda and they sat and ate lunch together.
Like he did many times before, Carter repressed the notion of telling her about Jacob. If he didn’t think about it, maybe he wouldn’t feel so blameworthy. And what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, right?
Chapter 25
Carter lay face-to-face with Shayla, centered perfectly in bed. He’d been stroking her soft, curly hair for a few minutes, trying to find a good time to tell her about the social function tomorrow before she dozed off. There was so much going in their personal lives, it had completely slipped his mind.
“Shayla, are you sleep?” he whispered.
“No,” she said but didn’t open her eyes.
“I know this is short notice, but I’m going to have a mixer here tomorrow night. That way, you’ll get to meet my colleagues and—”
“Tomorrow night?” She said, her eyes opened wide.
“Yeah.”
“You want me to meet your coworkers?”
>
“Of course I do.”
“Tomorrow night?” she repeated, sitting up, staring down at him as he remained lying on his pillow.
“Yeah, and again, I know this is short notice but it’ll be good for you…for us.”
“Um,” Shayla said, feeling anxious. “You sure about that?”
“Huh?” Carter asked, sitting up now.
“You know…for your coworkers to meet me. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? I want you to know everyone.”
“I know, but I’m not sure if I’m up to it. I mean, what am I gonna tell people when they ask how we met? I can’t very well say I was homeless.”
“Why not?” Carter asked.
“For obvious reasons,” she said hysterically. “And I don’t want those people turning up their nose at me like I’m garbage.”
“Those people…what are you trying to say?”
“I’m just saying…I don’t think they would have a good perception of me and thus, it will reflect bad on you and—”
“Stop,” Carter said, realizing that Shayla was probably saying this to protect his image but he was still peeved about it. “We’ll tell them we met at the hospital, or that I met you at a restaurant if that suit your standards…”
“I didn’t mean for you to get upset.”
“Why wouldn’t I get upset? You act like I’m supposed to be ashamed of you, Shayla.”
Shayla laid down with her back to him and said nothing more.
“That’s what you think?” Carter said, staring at the back of her head. “And why’d you turn your back to me? Look at me, Shay.”
Shayla turned to face him again, seeing the frustration in his face, the glaze over his eyes, the wrinkles in his forehead. “Carter, I’m just expressing my feelings to you.”
“I understand that, but I want to know if that’s really how you feel?”
“Sometimes. I mean, let’s face it. We both know I’m not…I’m not like them.” She sighed. “I just don’t want people to know how we met is all.”
“I don’t care if people know how we met.” Carter shot her a blinding stare. “I’m not ashamed of you, Shayla.”
“Maybe you should be.” She turned away from him and sat on the edge of the bed.
Carter felt a sting in his chest. “If that’s how you really feel, then why’d you marry me?”
“Because I love you.”
“If you love me, you would know in your heart that there’s no one better for me, than you. I don’t care what people think about us.” Carter got out of the bed and paced the floor. Back and forth he walked before he stopped in front of her. “So this means you’re not happy…”
“I am ha—”
“How can you be happy when you feel this way? You think I deserve someone else.”
Shayla thought about what he said quietly.
“Did you feel this way about Jacob, too?” Carter asked.
Shayla’s mouth dropped open. “What on earth does my ex have to do with this?”
“More than you realize,” Carter hinted. He shook his head and walked out of the room to get some space. Why was love so freakin’ complicated? Two people who cared about each other as much as they did should have no problem being and staying in love without all the added drama. Besides, he had enough to worry about.
Chapter 26
The caterers showed up around two the following afternoon. Shayla let them in and immediately, they went to work. One guy set up a bar in the living room. A few women were in the kitchen making trays of hors d’oeuvres – crab cake bites, turkey club pinwheels, chipotle bean dip, cucumber sandwiches, stuffed mushrooms, Italian marinated shrimp and a few other food samples Shayla didn’t recognize – high end stuff that’s usually associated with top-notch, posh events and dressed up with descriptive food adjectives like smoky, blackened and crusted.
Retreating to the bedroom, she sat on the bed and buried her face in her hands, thinking about the fight with Carter last night. He’d left quickly this morning, didn’t even bother to give her the normal kiss on the cheek. And had he slept next to her last night or did he sleep on the couch?
Shayla took a deep breath and picked up the receiver with the intent to call him but changed her mind at the last minute. He probably didn’t want to hear from her anyway, especially since he hadn’t bothered calling. At any rate, he was due home in a few hours with a bunch of his workmates and she laid on the bed, her stomach in knots, deciding whether or not to be apart of this event.
***
Carter arrived at home around five-thirty. A bunch of his colleagues trailed him there, parking on the street in front of the house and in the driveway. He walked up to the front door, opened it, being immediately greeted by smells of fresh food and the sounds of light jazz music humming in the background. The mood was right for a nice grown-up, mature party and since he hadn’t had a mixer last year due to death in the family, this was a step towards normality for him, another reason why he wanted Shayla to be a part of it.
A server handed him a flute of champagne, and did the same for everyone else who followed him in. Carter downed the first glass like a seasoned drinker, using glass number one to get in the partying mood, to loosen up. After the night he had with Shayla, he needed to unwind.
Grabbing a new glass of champagne, he took a sip, scanning the room for Shayla. She wasn’t there. He peeped in the den then quickly sprinted to the kitchen. No Shayla.
He returned to the living room, told his guests to get comfortable, grab some champagne and eat all the hor d’ouevres they could stand. Then he jogged upstairs, looking for Shayla.
He tapped on the bathroom door. “Shay, you in there?” he asked, his ears pressed up against the door while he attempted to turn the handle at the same time. The door was locked. “Shayla.”
“I’ll be out in a minute,” she said faintly, staring at her face in the mirror while single, vertical lines of tears streamed underneath her eyes. She was dressed in a silver, spaghetti strap dress that fell just below the knees.
“Should I expect you at the mixer, or are you still not coming?”
Shayla bent over near the vanity, holding her stomach. How could she meet Carter’s coworkers? She’d instantly be judged by them. And just what would they think of her? Was she too skinny? Too short? Too pale? Too shy for a man as outgoing as Carter? Would they smile in her face while thinking Carter could do better?
“Did you hear me?” Carter leaned his body against the door, desiring to see her but settling for door talk.
She turned on the faucet, dashed cold water on her face, and as her hands slowly moved downward, she opened her eyes and stared at her wedding ring, a symbol of Carter’s love. A reminder of their union. Surely a man like Carter wouldn’t marry a woman if he really didn’t want to be with her. Right?
Carter sighed. “Look, I’m gonna head back down…keep them company…hope you decide to join me.” He walked away frustrated. What would his coworkers think of him now? What would he say when they inquired about Shayla’s whereabouts? Everyone was looking forward to meeting her at the party tonight and it was at his house for goodness sakes. Now what? He instantly began brainstorming ways to tell people why she wasn’t joining him. She was sick…working on a project…resting from a long day. He had to make up something.
Shayla snatched a piece of paper towel and blotted her face dry. She took a concealer stick and carefully hid the scratches and blemishes on her face. Then she applied some liquid foundation, dabbed some powder over it to set her look. She brushed mascara on her long eye lashes then rubbed a deep red lipstick across her lips. She finger combed her hair so that it hung properly down her back.
She left the bathroom, walked back to the bedroom and slid into some silver stilettos and headed downstairs, her stomach forming millions of knots with each step down. Nearing the bottom, she saw an older red head woman staring up at her. Shayla smiled, but had no clue who she was.
“You must be Shayla,” the woman said. She waited until Shayla was a few steps closer and continued, “I’m Julie, Carter’s executive assistant. It is a pleasure to meet you…always good to put a face with a name…come here, hun.” She gave Shayla a gentle, brief squeeze. Then she took a step back, looked her up and down and said, “You are such a doll.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ve never seen Carter happier.”
Shayla smiled. “How long have you been his assistant?”
“Five years.”
“Wow. That’s a long time,” Shayla said nervously, while looking around, trying to guess how many people were in the living room. Must’ve been forty. Maybe fifty. Then she caught Carter’s gaze on the opposite side of the room for a few hot seconds, only breaking the force field between them when she heard Julie say, “He’s such a wonderful person. Do you know that out of all my years of being an assistant, Carter is the only executive that’s given me consecutive yearly raises. And I’ve been an executive assistant all my life, darling.”
“That’s great,” Shayla said, but barely heard a word Julie said. Her attention was on Carter. She’d glanced up at him multiple times and each time she looked his way, he just stared, didn’t blink once and it made butterflies go haywire in her stomach. Shayla turned back to Julie and asked, “So is this everyone from the office?”
“Well, a few people couldn’t make it. But for the most part, this is the gang.”
“Wow. There are a lot of people here. This is one department?” Shayla inquired.
“No. There are actually eight departments that make up the global division.”
“Oh,” Shayla said. “So which one of the eight departments does Carter oversee?”
Julie chuckled a little. “He oversees all of them, dear. He’s the president.”
“Oh. Right,” Shayla said, smiling uncomfortably.
“So have you met anyone else?” Julie aked.
“No, well, I…I met you, thank God. I’m really nervous, Julie.”
“No need to be. You’re among friends. How ‘bout I introduce you to some folks?”
