"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, playing innocent.
He shrugged. "Kissing's fun," he said. "I figure I get the right to kiss you, don't I?"
My knees all but gave out from underneath me. It was all I could do to make them hold my bodyweight. Not only did he have the right to kiss me, but I also wanted him to kiss me right that very second… was that an option?
"I guess a kiss is okay," I said acting nonchalant as I shrugged a shoulder. "It probably shouldn't happen on the beach at sunset like this, though."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because that's a little overboard, don't you think? I mean, it's bound to be breaking some sort of law."
"You mean we should tone it down?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Are you saying it's too good?" he asked.
I nodded again.
He grabbed me by the shoulders and spun us both around where I was facing more toward the shore rather than the ocean. "Is this better?" he asked. He paused and glanced over his shoulder to see my view. "Is it uglier facing that way?"
I shook my head regretfully. "Too beautiful," I said. "Still really surreal and dream-like. The sun is setting over here."
He smiled and reached out to gently cover my eyes. His big hand covered the entire top half of my face, and I closed my eyes and smiled since I didn't care to resist. "How about now?" he said. "Is this better?"
I thought about it for a second and finally shook my head.
"No?" he asked in a disbelieving tone. "What's wrong now?"
I smiled. "It's the rightness, remember?"
"What's right, then?"
"The water hitting my feet, the sound of the waves, the wind hitting my back, and the feel of your hand on my face. I like the smell of it, too," I said, taking in a breath through my nose.
"So, we have to go somewhere stinky and ugly?" he asked.
I smiled and used one of my hands to gently pull his from my eyes, smiling as I peered up at him. "Actually, I don't think the beach has anything to do with it now that you mention it," I said. "I think you by yourself makes it too good."
"Then it really doesn't matter where it happens," he concluded.
I shrugged. "I guess not."
"Then this is as good a place as any," he said.
I smiled. "Probably better than most."
"I'm confused," he said. "Is better good, or is better bad?"
I giggled. "I'm confused, too."
"What am I doing asking permission from a confused person?" he asked.
I shrugged again, but didn't otherwise respond.
"Mia," he said, speaking slowly and deliberately. "I'm gonna kiss you right now, and then for the rest of our lives, I'm gonna pretty much kiss you whenever I want without really asking too much permission, okay?"
"Okay," I said, nodding instantly. I wanted him to be the one who'd kiss me for the rest of my life, and hearing him say it filled me with an electric type of happiness that had me wiggling and jiggling and unable to stand still.
"You're gonna vibrate out to sea if I don't hold onto you," he said with an amused grin.
"You're making me do that by saying words like rest of our lives."
He took my face in his hands and stared at me. "Mia, I can't imagine having anything less with you. I can't imagine a time when I'd be okay saying goodbye to you without knowing when I'd be seeing you again. I can't imagine moving forward from here without you being part of the equation."
I stared at him, feeling overwhelmed like I was receiving some gift I didn't deserve. I wanted to say all those nice, committal things back to him, but I couldn’t find the words to get them out as eloquently as he did. I felt like the next words that would come out of my mouth, no matter what I tried to make them, would sound like a cavewoman grunting.
"Count me in for whatever equation you're talking about," I managed to say in plain English, thankfully.
Chapter 19
Nico and I were standing up to our ankles in the water, and I could not, for the life of me, stand still. I was chilly for one, but the excitement and anticipation added to my wiggliness, and I could do nothing to stop slight movements in my shoulders, or feet, or whatever body part happened to want to jiggle at the moment.
"You are cracking me up," Nico said, smiling as he scanned me from head to toe. He watched me with an entertained grin as I tried in vain to stand still.
"I'm cold," I said, even though it was only a half-truth. I thought maybe it was a weird thing to say since it was June, so I added, "I just had a milkshake."
Nico smiled and pulled me into his arms, rubbing my arms and back in an attempt to warm me up as he held me close. I used the proximity to do something I would have given a million dollars to do in the past. My face had landed near his chest when he pulled me in, and I leaned upward to place a kiss on his neck with my mouth slightly open. It was warm and it tasted just barely salty.
"Mia," he said, slowly as he brought his hand up and put it on the back of my head. The use of his vocal chords caused his neck to vibrate under my lips, which made me smile.
The same hand that had been on the back of my neck slid under my chin, and he tilted my face up. We made eye contact just before he leaned in and let his lips touch mine. He was trying to lick his lips just before we touched, but the tip of his tongue clipped my bottom lip just as we connected. I made a little moaning noise, letting him know I thought I got jipped.
He was smiling as our lips touched, and I placed kiss after kiss along his smiling mouth. "I. Love. This. Smile," I said, in between kisses. That made his smile broaden for a second or two. I felt a crippling wave of desire hit me as we stood there. It was now almost dark, but I could still see his outline clearly enough to know that he was textbook gorgeous.
I felt his lips relax under mine as his smile faded.
I knew what he was doing by the way he let his head fall to the side. I needed no further coaxing. I opened my mouth to him, and he kissed me deeply. It was the sort of desperate, passionate kiss where our teeth hit together and our breathing quickly became labored. Nico kissed me in a way that conveyed the idea that I was his from there on out, and I kissed him back in a way that said that was exactly what I wanted.
"I love you, Mia," he said, pulling back just a little to stare down at me.
His confident smile made me think I had just misheard what I thought he said.
"I said it," he assured me, seeing my confused expression. "You don't have to say it back. I know it's fast, and you weren't expecting me to say it, but I can't imagine anything else feeling more like love than this, so I just thought I'd tell you the truth about it." He was still smiling when he bent to put a quick kiss on my cheek.
"I do too," I said since I was a big dork who wasn't nearly as good as expressing myself as he was.
"You do what?" he asked, pretending to be genuinely confused.
"I do love you," I said with a silly wide-eyed glance that said he should stop putting me on the spot.
"What'd you say?" he asked, cupping a hand to his ear.
I narrowed my eyes at him, and he smiled. "Say that one more time," he said.
I put my lips right by his ear—so close that they were touching lightly. "I love you, Nico Torres," I whispered. I said it in my best Spanish accent, rolling my R's and sounding extra sassy. It was a running joke to pronounce Nico's name with a proper Spanish accent like we were introducing the prince of Spain or something. We did it to be silly, but Nico had always told me he loved the way I pronounced it. Anyway, I whispered "I love you, Nico Torres," right into is ear, and the result of this was that he kissed me again with gut-clinching intensity.
We stayed down at the beach for another fifteen or twenty minutes before heading to the house. Evan, Paige and Cody, were sitting outside when we got up there. Nico had his arm around me as we walked up the stairway and onto the deck. I tried to contain my enormous smile, but it was difficult.
"Oh my goodness, y'all look so
adorable," Paige said, shielding her face with her hand.
"Babe, you can't call a grown man adorable," Cody said, gesturing to Nico.
"I meant as a whole," Paige said as she waved a hand in our direction. "As one unit—a package."
"I'm all right with adorable," Nico said in a voice that was intentionally even deeper than usual, which made us all laugh.
"Where's Ry?" I asked, looking around.
"Mom's putting her to bed," Cody said.
"Y'all want to watch a movie?" I asked, hoping to pull off the same arrangement as we had the night before.
"I'm game for that," Evan said.
Paige and Cody agreed also, and after a few more minutes on the deck, we went inside to check out our selection of movies. We ended up renting a new release through the cable company, agreeing that we needed to remember to pay Dee-dee for it before we left.
Evan, Nico, and I went upstairs for quick showers before meeting Cody and Paige on the first floor. Everyone else had already gone to bed—or had, at least, retreated into their rooms. Nico and I assumed our positions from the previous evening on the sectional. At first, he was stretched out on one side and I sat cross-legged next to him, but we ended up with my head resting on his side again—my feet going out one way, and his going out the other. I used a small pillow for added support, but I was mostly resting on his side, which was the most comfortable place in the universe.
I tucked my hand under my chin. I was pretending it was a normal sleepy pose, but really I just loved the feel of his side (even through his shirt), and I wanted to put my fingers on it. He rested his hand on my arm, and we fell asleep like that. I woke up one time during the night and smiled as I readjusted before falling right back asleep.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of Isabel crying. It was either Isabel or Andy's youngest, but it was a baby's cry. I knew it before I even opened my eyes.
"Sorry, y'all!" I heard Paige say from a distance.
My eyes were still closed when I heard the sounds of the back door sliding open and the crying sound growing quiet. The next thing I felt was Nico's hand rubbing my arm. I smiled and moaned as I turned into the back of the couch, taking his hand and arm into my hands and snuggling up to it. I rubbed my cheek to it before placing a quick kiss right on his bicep. This made him lean over and kiss the top of my head with a groan.
"You slept down here again!" Ryan said, seeing that we were awake.
"Yes I did," I said, sleepily.
"And Nico and Evan did, too," she said.
"Uh-huh," I agreed in a groggy tone.
I felt Nico start to move underneath me as he sat up on the couch. His legs were still stretched out on the sectional with a blanket covering them. The fact that he sat up made me feel like I needed to do the same thing. I sat straight up, leaving my bottom in the same place, which created a couple of feet space between us. I glanced back at him from over my shoulder. Both of us were sleepy eyed with blankets still covering us.
Nico reached out and easily pulled me toward him. He repositioned me where I was sitting against him and cradled into his arms. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek before snuggling onto his chest with my blanket.
"Nico-lo-de-on, did you bring me back my tiara?" Ryan asked, dancing around in front of us.
"I do have it with me, but I was thinking I could keep it," Nico said.
"Whaaat?" Ryan said, as if she thought he was being so silly. "Why do you want my tiara so bad?"
Cody had just sat down on another nearby couch at that very moment, and I watched as he regarded Nico with great curiosity that made me giggle.
"It's special to me because of your Aunt Mia," Nico said, not embarrassed in the least. "If you'll let me keep it, I'll buy you a better one, I promise." There was a brief pause. "Was it super special to you or something?" Nico added as if the thought had just crossed his mind.
"It wasn't special," my mom said from the kitchen, overhearing our conversation. "We'll get her another one just like it."
She probably didn't even know what we were talking about but she obviously wanted to help Nico's case.
"Are you gonna marry my aunt Mia," was the next question to come out of Ryan's mouth.
"Ryan Diane," my mom called from the kitchen.
Cody, at the same time, said, "Ryan!" in a stern voice.
Evan, who had been sleeping like us until all the commotion, was now smiling from his place in his recliner as he waited to see how Nico would react to the question.
"I sure hope so," Nico said. He cupped a hand around my head and put a kiss near my forehead. "I think we will, don't you?" he asked, leaning to the side to try to see my face.
"Ryan, you can't ask stuff like that," I said, hating the thought that he was on the spot in front of my family.
"You're leaving the man hanging," Evan said.
"Thank you!" Nico said to Evan with a smile in his voice.
"Yeah, he put himself out there and you just blew past that," Cody said, chewing his cereal.
"Yep, she sure did," Nico said, holding onto me as I giggled.
"Y'all are mean," I said.
"You're mean," Evan said, still torturing me. "I feel bad for the guy. You're still not helping him out here."
"Thanks," Nico said, playing along. "It's hard to love someone who isn't really into you."
I giggled and pretended to beat on his chest with my fist a couple of times. "Y'all better stop," I said. "Nico knows how I feel about him."
"You boys need to leave that poor girl alone," my mom said from the kitchen.
Ryan stood there staring at us with a confused look on her face.
"I don't get it," she said. "Are you getting married to my Aunt Mia, or not?"
"Yes," Nico said, laughing a little. "The short answer is yes, Ryan, I'm gonna marry your Aunt Mia."
"Good," she said. "That'll be fine."
"Thank you," Nico said. He gave her a grateful nod. "Your blessing means a lot."
She made pretty eyes at him even though she might not have completely understood what he was saying.
Just then, Paige came in with the baby, who was now content. "What'd I miss?" she asked, making us all laugh.
Chapter 20
Nico and I stayed in touch during the weeks after our summer trip. We talked everyday—most of the time on facetime. At first, I had a hard time getting used to the idea that it might actually work out. Even after everything that had happened between us at the beach house, I had difficulty having faith. It wasn't that I distrusted him necessarily; I just found it impossible to get rid of that underlying layer of doubt. Maybe it was my way of protecting myself in case things changed—in case he changed his mind about commitment.
I'm not sure when it happened, so it must have been a slow process, but sometime as the weeks went on, I was able to lay down my doubts and fears. I knew that sort of drama would only cause harm between Nico and I, and really, it sounds cliché, but worry is nothing but a big waste of time. If I was going to concentrate on building an empire with Nico, I didn't have time to worry about his commitment to me. There's a beautiful freedom that comes with trust, and I remind myself of that every time I started to entertain a seed of doubt.
It was now September, and I'd settled into a level of trust and security that felt healthy. Nico and I had talked about our future quite a bit recently, and I felt confident that we were meant to be together… it was just a matter of solving our geographical dilemma.
We hadn't seen each other since our family trip in June. It had been nearly three months, and both of us were anxious to make it happen. Paige and I had come home to an incredibly busy wedding season that was still winding down. Nico had a lot of work going on as well. We both really wanted to connect, but at the same time, we both had the feeling that we wanted to take it slow—prove to ourselves that we weren't rushing into anything.
So, it was now the beginning of September, and we hadn't seen each other in person for weeks—eleven weeks, to be exa
ct, but who's counting, right? I was, actually, and the reason was because I knew that when I saw him again, twelve weeks will have passed.
For those of you who aren't mathematicians… I would get to see Nico in a week! I had my plane ticket and my bags packed. Okay, so they weren't packed, but I had a good idea of what I was bringing with me. I'd stay in California for eight glorious days with my light-eyed Spanish prince. It would be the first of many trips back and forth until we figured out something more permanent.
It was Friday at 6PM, and I was at the salon designing a flier for an upcoming promotion. I'd been on Photoshop for the past few hours and was really starting to feel it in my neck and shoulders. I heard Ryan coming down the hallway, so I took my hand off the mouse and stretched upward with my arms in the air as I swiveled in my chair to stare at the door.
"Whoa, you look so beautiful!" I said when she came around the corner. She beamed at me as she twirled to let me see her new dress. She had a lot of dress-up clothes, but most of it was inexpensive character stuff one of us picked up at Target or the mall. The dress she was wearing wasn't like her others—this one was beautifully made. It was white chiffon with glitter and rhinestones and she was wearing a crown fit for a princess.
"Where'd you get this dress up stuff, Ry?" I asked motioning for her to come closer so I could get a better look. She ran across my office looking like a sugarplum fairy. I held the fabric of the dress in my hand, appreciating not only the fabric itself but also the craftsmanship of the dress. "Ry, where'd you get this?" I asked again.
"Aaaand I have a new crown," she said, pointing to her tiara. Her mom had obviously styled her hair and placed the tiara on her head, because the whole look was definitely intentional. She looked like she was ready for a photo shoot. "Are y'all going somewhere I forgot about?" I asked. "It's not Disney Princess on Ice tonight, is it?"
She giggled. "No silly, I got dressed up for you."
I actually wondered for a split second if I had forgotten it was my own birthday, but quickly realized that wasn't the case.
"What do you mean for me?"
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