He leaves the door open and I hear him asking her to come outside. She groans and tries to make up an excuse, so he drags her outside by the elbow. I stand up to full height as Cam steps foot on the deck. She halts and I’m unsure what to do with my fucking arms. The itch to reach out to her is strong.
Should I cross them or should I just reach out?
She crosses the distance and makes the decision for me. She rushes into me and buries her face in my chest. Her slender shoulders shaking as her arms tighten around my waist as my hands wrap around her waist and go to the back of her head to hold her close to me.
“We’re just going to…” Beck trails off as she stands and indicates they’re going inside to give Cam and me privacy.
We stand there in silence for a few minutes, holding onto another. She’s crying into my shirt, and I'm relishing the fact that I'm holding her. I’m not sure how much time goes by before she sniffles and pulls back. She has glassy red eyes from crying and her beautiful blonde hair is mussed from my hand. I reach to smooth it out, just to touch her.
“What are you doing here?” she finally asks.
“Your Ma died. You think I was going to make you go through this shit on your own?”
“But, I think we broke up,” she stammers, her eyes searching mine.
“You tried to break up with me,” I say simply with a smirk.
“Tried?”
“Love, I’m not going to let you go without a fight.”
“I can’t go back to Vegas. There’s so much here for me to take care of. I need to make sure the house doesn’t crumble now that Ma is gone. Pop can’t take care of it by himself.” A lone tear escapes the edge of her right eye and I lift my hand to catch it.
“Have you talked to your Pop about this?” I ask.
“No, he’s been kind of reclusive.”
“Listen, I don’t want to force you to do something that you don’t want to do. But I think you should talk to your Pop about this. In the meantime, I’m here through Sunday. I’m here for you and for Mal, but mainly for you.”
Tears break again and she pushes her face back into my chest. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head.
I’ll wait to tell her how I feel. How much I need her in my life.
Chapter Eighteen
Cam
Jacks is here. He’s really here.
He flew all the way to Sydney to be here for me. And to be here for his best mate, but he said that he was mainly here for me. For me.
I think I fell just a little more in lust with him. Lust? No. Love is the word I’m looking for.
I love him.
Jacks. I love him.
But I’m torn. I feel obligated to stay in Sydney and not return to Las Vegas. Who else is going to take care of Pop? Since the news of Ma’s passing, he’s confined himself to his bedroom. He’s barely eaten any of the food we’ve left for him, and he hasn’t spoken to Mal or me since we arrived. What will happen to him if no one is around to take care of him?
. As soon as I set foot on Aussie soil, my phone lit up with message notifications. We drove straight to the hospital and found Pop sitting at the edge of her empty bed with his head in his hands. He hasn’t said a word since and I just don’t know what to do. Ma was his life. She held this house together and the family as well. That’s not to say my father won’t survive, but he’s had someone look after him for so many years, how will be manage?
I’ve been keeping myself busy with little chores here and there to keep moving, to keep from dwelling on what happened. On top of household things, I’ve checked in on old Mrs. Williams next door. Before I moved to the States, I had helped her around the house doing chores she could no longer do. Guess I came home and picked up right where I left off. I’ve been grateful for the familiarity of these old habits and the distraction they offer.
I had made the late-night decision that I couldn’t go back to Nevada. To do that would be selfish, since Pop and Mrs. Williams need me here. What I didn’t take into account was that I am needed in Las Vegas too. I have a life there. I have new friends, my brother and Beck and I have Jacks. That’s not to say here in Waverton that I don’t have my old life and friends, but I moved to the States to start fresh and I was loving the life that I started in the States, more than I knew when I told Jacks I wasn’t coming home.
Home. That’s in the States now.
Once I’ve cried enough on Jacks’s shirt, I drag him inside the house where Beck and Mal are watching telly.
“Did you kiss and make up?” Mal asks.
“Not yet,” Jacks says, smiling. He’s holding my hand tightly as if I might run away.
We sit together on the other side of the room, hands interlocked, and thighs touching. It feels comfortable, soothing. I lean my head on his shoulder and breathe in his musky smell.
“So, what do you need help with? I’m at your service,” Jacks says to Mal.
“I’ve got all the preparations made. The service is tomorrow. We have a car picking up the family at noon. Then folks will be coming back here afterwards.”
“Ugh, a party? Why?” I complain.
“It’s a celebration of life. We’re just hosting; her book club friends are planning it,” Mal explains. “A few hours of mingling and some day drinking and that’s it.”
“This sucks. When I die, I don’t want a funeral. I want to be cremated and my ashes spread at the harbor. I don’t want any one crying and wiping their snot all over the place. I want a celebration, a party. And definitely no churchy stuff.” I untangle my hand from Jacks’s and cross my arms over my chest.
I hear shuffling feet in the hallway and turn my gaze to see Pop in his pajamas with a newspaper in his hand.
He looks confused and then shakes his head and turns to walk into the kitchen. I attempt to get up but Mal stands first, holds his hand out and then follows after Pop.
“This is the first time he’s come out of his bedroom,” Beck whispers.
We sit silently, straining to hear anything that is said between my brother and father, but their voices are low and we’re unable to hear their conversation. After more shuffling, Pop retreats back to his room and Mal comes out of the kitchen looking forlorn.
“Good news is that he’s come out of his bedroom. Bad news is that he went back into his bedroom,” Mal says, retaking his seat next to his wife.
“What did he say?” I ask.
“He said that he needs time. He’s processing.” Beck places her hand on the top of my brother’s thigh and squeezes. They look to one another and offer each other a smile before returning their gaze back to Jacks and me.
“Where are you staying?” Mal asks.
“There’s an inn nearby that I was planning on giving a ring.”
“You can stay here. I mean my bed is really small but—”
“Why don’t you come and stay with me at the inn?” Jacks asks me.
Panic lodges in my throat. What if Pop needs me? What if something happens to Mal or Beck? What if…?
“I should stay here,” I say quietly, looking away.
“You’re not going to retreat, Cam,” Mal says to me sternly.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not going to pull away. Go with Jacks. That’s better than you two making all sorts of noises in your bedroom. Which by the way, I never want to hear.”
I stand awkwardly at the door of the room. I’m not sure what to do with myself. My mind races with all the what ifs and I’m mentally making a list of things I need to do tomorrow. I should be back at the house. I should be there just in case I'm needed.
Pop coming out of the bedroom was great, but it wasn’t him. He wasn’t his usual put-together self. He was flustered, unkempt and unfocused. He didn’t acknowledge the individuals in his house in the grand way he normally would. His heart is broken and there’s nothing I can do to help him. Staying here, will ultimately help my Pop, I think. But then if I stay here, I lose Jacks. I can’t ask him to sell hi
s part of the business with my brother and move back to Sydney. He has his life in Vegas, he has so much invested there, while I have a measly minimum wage job and that’s it. Wait, I don’t even have that; I’m jobless. Now I lose the ability to see Mal and Beck whenever I want.
I have Jacks.
I have my brother.
I have Beck.
No Matter what is chosen.
I cried. I cried a lot today. So much so, that my eyes are swollen and my head is pounding.
As soon as we got into the town car, Beck pulled a box of Kleenex and pain relievers out of her purse. Like Mary Poppins and her bottomless carpet bag, she followed that by pulling out some bottled water. I tried my best to hide my laugh at everything she pulled out that I snorted, which caused my brother to look at me oddly.
Jacks held my hand or had his arm around me all day long. Not one moment passed when he was not touching me and that in itself was extremely comforting. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been here. I wasn’t aware of how much I would need him, and I’m scared to think of what it would have been like if he hadn’t been here today. Realizing that makes my thoughts of the future even more confusing. I want to be with Jacks, but I also need to be here for my Pop.
Pop was silent and didn’t look anyone in the eye the entire day. When we all left her gravesite, he lingered behind and sat in front of the plot for a while before making it back to the waiting town car. When we got back to the house, Pop retreated into the bedroom and didn’t come out for the rest of the day. Malcolm, Beck, Jacks and I put on smiling faces despite the sadness and spoke to the various guests who had some part of Ma’s life. I recognized maybe half of the people who came to the house, but they all seemed to know who Mal and I were.
It was a challenging day, emotionally and physically. Now that it’s over, my feet are killing me, so Jacks is massaging them as we sit together on the wicker couch on the back patio. The sky is multicolored and the air is crisp, the smell of salt from the harbor flooding my senses. The neighborhood is silent, allowing the sound of clinking dishes to carry from the kitchen.
“I’m going to miss her,” I say quietly.
“From what I remember from when Mal and I were at uni, she was quite the woman.” He nods. His eyes and effort are focused on the pad of my foot.
“She liked you, you know.” I smile.
“Yeah? Did you tell her about us?” he tilts his head in wonder.
“I may have mentioned it once or twice.” I think back to the conversation I had with my mom the night after Jacks and I spent the night together, the night he gave me a lap dance and then took me to his room.
“Hey, Ma. So, I kind of met someone. Well, I didn’t meet someone new, but I kinda like someone.” I smile into the phone. I hear Ma gasp on the other end.
“And who would this suitor be, trying to get his donger into your knickers?” she croons.
“You remember Jacks, Mal’s friend?” I giggle. God, I’m giggling. I’m an adult and I’m giggling to my mother over a guy.
“Oh, Jacks. I adore Jacks. He’s a stand-up guy.”
“We started dating and it’s going really, really well.”
“He’s such a lovely lad.” I can tell she’s smiling by the tone of her voice.
“Where’d you go just now?” Jacks asks from his side of the couch.
I shake my head. “Sorry. Just remembering a conversation I’d had with Ma. Today’s been a beast of a day. Do you mind if we head to the inn?” I ask.
“Not at all.” He smiles as he removes his suit jacket and lays it over my shoulders. “Let’s say our goodbyes and get out of here.”
We ride in silence the ten minutes that it takes to get to the inn. Once we’re inside, I’m dragging my feet. Emotionally drained, we change out of our formal clothes and slip into bed. Jacks spoons me and kisses the top of my shoulder.
“Thank you, Jacks,” I say.
“For what, love?” His chin props on my shoulder.
“For being here today.”
“There’s no place I would rather be.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve more than me,” he says, tightening his hold around my waist.
Morning is here sooner than I would have preferred. The light creeps in through the gap between the curtain panels. Jacks is lying on his back behind me, breathing lightly, so I turn over to observe him. He looks so peaceful. His head rests on his arm and his other arm is reaching out for me.
He came to Sydney after I told him I was staying here and not going back to Las Vegas. I basically broke up with him over the phone and still, here he is.
Do I want to stay here? No, I don’t. But if I go, who will watch over Pop like Ma had done for so many years? If I leave, will my conscience be satisfied knowing I abandoned my only remaining parent, for a guy?
It’s not like I have a job to go home to, so what’s the difference?
If I stay here, what will I miss out on with Jacks?
Will I miss seeing my brother and building my new friendship with Beck?
Can Jacks and I go back to being friends, to being just Mal’s best mate and Mal’s little sister, or will there be awkwardness when we see each other?
One thing is for sure. As I watch Jacks sleep, I think to myself that I love him and I don't want to miss out on the experience in learning the answers to any of those pending questions.
Chapter Nineteen
Jacks
Our room at the inn has a small balcony with a quaint two-seater table and not much space for anything else. That’s where I find Cam, sipping on tea as she gazes out onto the street. The balcony door is open, so I can hear some of the morning traffic noise from commuters on their way to the city to start their days.
I clear my throat as I approach Cam, to not scare her. She turns her head, the frown on her face lifting into a soft smile. It barely reaches her eyes, but she’s trying. I kiss the top of her head before I sit down and reach my arm to sit on the balcony railing.
“Been up long?” I ask.
“No. Just a little bit. Sleep good?” she asks before taking a sip of her tea.
“I did. You?” This small talk is killing me.
Is she coming home? Is she staying? Does she love me?
These are all questions I can’t ask her right now, but they’re running through my mind on repeat.
I want her to. I hope not. God, I’m so in love with her.
“You all right? You’re looking at me funny,” she says.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Fucking Liar. You’re panicking because the first woman you’ve ever fallen for may not return your love and may ask you go home alone. I shake my head.
“Do you mind driving me to my Pop’s this afternoon? I want to see if he’ll talk to me,” she asks hesitantly.
“Of course. Whatever you need.” I nod knowing why she wants to talk to him. I’m hoping for the best.
“I need to see what he needs. I am torn. I want to be here for him, but I also don’t want to lose who I am in taking care of him.”
“Love, I support whatever decision you make. I just don’t want you to make up your mind without thinking about it.”
“Just for a bit, I don’t want to think at all,” she says, looking at me with a heat in her eyes.
I know that look. I stand, offer her my hand and lead her back inside.
“Tell me what you want, tell me what you need,” I urge her.
“I just want you. I’ll take you however you want to give, I just know that it’s you that I want. And I… I want it a little rough.”
Fuck.
I wrap my arm around her waist and bring her close to me. My hand cradles her jaw as I close the space between us and take her lips with mine. Her hands brush along my lower back. I press myself into her so she can feel how hard I am for her. She whimpers against my mouth as she begins to steer us backward toward the bed. I rotate us so I can sit down and she straddles me. When she seats herself
on my lap, I can feel the heat of her pussy over my waiting cock. My gray sweats and her panties are the only thing between us. She rubs herself against me and with each rub, her arousal increases and I can smell her intoxicating scent. It drives me wild.
I lift the shirt she’s wearing, then bunch her long hair in my fist and slightly tug back on it. Her neck is exposed to me and I trail kisses from below her left ear, across her collarbone to her right breast. I lick her skin and lay open mouthed kisses on my way back up her neck. She’s breathing heavily as I reach her mouth and use my grip on her hair to direct her lips to mine.
She grinds on my lap, breaks our kiss, places her hands on my shoulders and throws her head back. A flush covers her body as she rolls her hips on top of me.
“Strides, off. Now,” she instructs as she lifts her hips.
In no time, my pants are removed and she grabs my cock. She strokes from crown to base with a look of determination on her face and then she climbs off my thighs and kneels down in between my legs. My cock still in her hand, she makes eye contact and then she takes my length fully into her mouth in one swift movement. I release a breath I wasn’t aware that I was holding and my hand instinctively goes to the back of her head. I grab up her hair in my fist again so I can watch her face, her lips around my cock as she takes me.
She pulls her head up and strokes me a few beats with her hand, then replaces her hand with her mouth, swallowing my cock. She pulls up and sucks lightly on the crown, swirls her tongue over my over-sensitive flesh, and then puts me entirely in her mouth again, her tongue moving against the underside of my cock. She pulls off me with a pop and smiles.
I maintain eye contact while pointing behind me to the bed. “Now.”
Laughing, she jumps onto the bed and removes her knickers. She throws them at my chest and I catch them, make sure she’s watching as I put them up to my nose and take in her smell.
I have the raw need to consume her entirely as I climb onto the bed and in between her legs. My cock is solid and ready to be buried deep into her. I line myself up with her entrance and plunge deep. I lace my fingers with hers and pull both hands over her head. Holding them together with one hand, my other hand goes to her hip to hold her down as I pull and push with fever into her. I look down and see my cock disappearing into her velvety pussy.
The Night Moves Boxset: (Stripped, The Hook-up, The Night Manager) Page 26
