The Heart of Mine

by Amanda Bennett

  "I...I kind of do. I'm sorry sir, but I was a little more worried about the gun that was aimed at my unborn child."

  "I'm sorry miss, I don't mean to make this any worse than it has been. We just need the facts."

  "I understand. I believe Joey, I'm sorry Mr. Green was telling him how he was a horrible father and that he was allowing a piece of shit kid take the life of his unborn grandchild. Something along those lines."

  My heart began to ache. It began to ache for Kayla, for my child and for my father of all people. For all these years I thought my father never cared for me. I believed that if it ever came down to it, that he would choose himself, but I was wrong. In that moment, regardless of what Joey may have said to him, he chose me. He chose the life of his grandchild he knew he would never meet.

  "One last question Miss James, did Glenn Green ever fire a shot, or did Mr. Raine shoot himself. I'm sorry Mr. Raine, I know this must be hard for you."

  I shook my head and tugged at Kayla's hand. "Mr. Raine shot himself. He felt unworthy of anyone's love. He knew his son would never forgive him for what he allowed Wren to do and I'm assuming he couldn't live with that on his conscience."

  I watched Kayla answer with such bravery and certainty in her voice. In that moment, I was in awe of her. I could only hope that our child would have her strength, her courage, and the will to carry on with such a strong heart.

  "If we're done here, I'd like to get my boyfriend home now. I think he's spent enough time in this place."

  "Of course, and I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Raine."

  "Thank you Officer Woods, but there's no love lost between two people who never knew what love was between them in the first place. But thank you all the same."

  We made our way past the officer and down the hall towards the exit doors. Of course, Kayla was stuck pushing me in a wheelchair due to all of my broken bones, but she made the ride worthwhile. Every free chance she got, she was showering me with kisses and whispering sweet promises of all the things she was goin' to do to me later if given the chance.

  Because no one knew that I was awake yet, well besides the usual suspects, I figured she would have to go to her house as I went to mine. I was so wrong. As the sliding glass doors slid open, there in front of me stood a whole slew of people. Everybody must've gotten word of me bein' awake. I glanced around at every face starin' back at me. Joey, Brandon, Bryce, Glenn, Cami, Bryan and even Taryn stood there with smiles. Wait Taryn? I was confused until I saw Bryan's arms wrapped around her waist and then it all clicked into place.

  "Well, it's so damn good seein' y'all. Now, can we go home?" I laughed.

  Everyone gave me a quick hug and promised that they would all see me tomorrow at my house for dinner. Mr. and Mrs. James were the last ones left besides my grandmother. I reached out for Mr. James' hand but he bent down and gave me a strong hug.

  "It's good to have ya back, son."

  "Thank you, sir."

  He stood back up and placed a small kiss against Kayla's temple before tellin' her they would see her tomorrow. Looks like my girl was headin' home with me tonight. I couldn't help the pure joy that soared through my heart.

  Mr. James helped me into the car and then we were on our way home. I watched Kayla dozing off in the front seat and I felt sorry for keepin' her up as long as I had. As soon as we pulled into the drive, my gran pulled out the crutches the hospital had sent home with me.

  "I'll get her inside dear, you go get yourself all situated on the couch."

  I listened to my gran and made my way up the steps and inside. Gran and Kayla weren't too far behind me. I flung myself as comfortably as I could down onto the couch. I scooted far enough in so that Kayla could fit in next to me. Gran gently set her down and then covered us both up with a blanket.

  "It's good to have you home, love." She whispered before kissing my forehead.

  "I'm really sorry gran, for your loss. I wish things could've turned out better."

  "Madison, dear, your father was dead to me years ago. I know how mean that sounds, but he wasn't a man who ever deserved you."

  I smiled up at my gran, as I slowly started to doze off. "I'll see ya in the mornin' Gran."

  "You bet your ass you will."

  That night I fell asleep with the love of my life and my unborn child tucked into my arms. I wrapped my arm tightly around Kayla's belly, pulling her into me. When I could feel her breathing slow and finally even out, I finally fell asleep. That night I didn't dream. I didn't need to, everything I could ever dream of havin' or wanting I had, right next to me.

  ****

  I'm not sure what time it was when I woke up, but when I did, I feared that she would be gone. That it was all a dream and she was really gone. When the smell of strawberries hit my nostrils, I knew she was really here. I nuzzled my nose into the back of her neck and felt her body tense up against my morning wood. I couldn't help the low growl that escaped my mouth. I had missed this. I had missed waking up to her by my side, feeling her warm body pressed against me.

  "I didn't think you'd come back to me." She whispered it so softly I thought I misunderstood her.

  "I was fighting every day to get back to you. You have to know that."

  She turned ever so gently so she was now facin' me. "I think deep down I knew it, but I couldn't help but prepare myself for the worse."

  "Darlin', look at me." I pulled her chin up ever so slightly. "Nothin' could've stopped me from comin' back to you. You're my heart, Kayla. Your my reason for breathing."

  I pressed my lips to hers, puttin' everything I had into that one kiss. I needed her to know that she was my world. There was only one way I knew how to prove it to her, but it would have to wait. I needed to make sure that it was the perfect time, the perfect setting and everything she deserved.

  "I love you Kayla James with everything that I am."

  "I love you too, cowboy." She smiled against my lips just before sealing them to mine.

  Chapter 24

  Kayla

  Madison slowly started to fall back asleep, so I quietly pushed myself up off of the couch and made my way into the kitchen to help prepare Thanksgiving dinner with Lydia. I slowly crept up behind her, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist.

  "Thank you, Lydia for bringing me into your lives."

  She turned her frail body into mine and slid her hands down to my belly. "Thank you for showin' my boy what true love means and for bringing this bundle of joy into our lives. I just wish Harold was here to witness this miracle."

  I could tell she was missin' Madison's grandfather just like the rest of us were. "He's here with us and he's witnessing it all."

  We both smiled and settled into makin' all the fixings that went along with the mouth-watering turkey I could smell cooking in the oven. After an hour, I excused myself to head home and get all dolled up for my man. I was in desperate need of a shower and I needed to change clothes badly.

  When I entered the house, my grandparents both sat at the table drinking their coffee in peace. I gave them both a quick hug before making my way upstairs. I showered as quickly as possible and put on my new dress that I had Cami pick out for me for today. It was the first dress I had to buy that wasn't my normal size, but I couldn't bring myself to be sad about it. There was just too much to be happy about today.

  I did my makeup and hair to the nines. I fixed big loose waves and added some extra mascara and blush to bring out the blue in my eyes. I know a week didn't seem like that long, but I wanted Madison to see just what he had missed out on. When I came down stairs my grandparents just stood starin'.

  "Do I look bad?" I glanced down at my dress and pulled at my hair.

  "No baby girl, just the opposite. I have never seen a more beautiful young woman in my life, well except for your grandmother of course."

  "Quick recovery granddad." I smiled adoringly at my grandparents.

  "Shall we get goin'?"

  "Yes." I was overly anxious to get back to Madison. I
just couldn't stand bein' away from him any longer than need be.

  We walked over to the Raine's house through the back pasture. I stopped for a brief moment as we reached our tree and I asked my grandparents to give me a moment. They joined hands and smiled back at me, telling me to take all the time I needed. My fingers grazed over the sticky bark as I thought back to all the time we had spent out here and I could imagine our little one spending just as much time out here as we had.

  "I've pictured it too. Many times."

  I didn't even hear him come up beside me. "I want to raise him or her here Madison. I just can't imagine raising a family anywhere else."

  "Me neither, pretty girl." He wrapped his arms around me the best he could and turned me so we were looking out at the empty plot of land laid out in front of us. "This is ours, Kayla. All of it. This is what my grandfather left me. This is our home now."

  I rested my head back against his chest. "It's perfect, Madison."

  We stayed out there for at least another half an hour before I could tell that he was starting to get uncomfortable. "Let's go inside and see everyone."

  "Do we have to?" He whispered.

  "No, but we probably should. Everyone missed you just as much as I did."

  "You sure about that?" I knew exactly what he was insinuating, but it would have to wait.

  "Come on, you sex crazed man. We'll have plenty of time for that."

  "We better." He replied with a pinch of my ass. "Oh, and I love your new dress. It definitely accentuates everything that needs to be accentuated."

  "What am I gonna do with you?" I laughed.

  "Just give it up, and I'll be fine for at least an hour or so."

  We made our way into the house and it felt like home. Everyone was waiting around for us. We made the rounds and then we all sat down to an amazing dinner that Lydia had prepared. Before we all dug in, I interrupted the festivities long enough to say my thanks that were much needed.

  "I'm sorry, I promise I will let y'all eat soon, but I felt it necessary to say my thanks before we all enjoy this wonderful meal. First off, I'm thankful for my wonderful grandparents who have given me a chance to live a life I would have otherwise never have known. Secondly, I want to thank Joey and Glenn for making it possible for me to even be here today. I couldn't ask for a better group of friends. I'm also thankful for my best friend Cami, I would have never made it through anything without her. Lastly, I'm thankful for this amazing man next to me. I've never felt more love than I have felt with this man. He has brought me so much joy and has showed me how to live life without regrets, not to mention the fact that he has given me the amazing gift of becoming a mother. I love each and every one of you with all of my heart. Okay, I'm done." Madison squeezed my hand underneath the table and I knew he was just as grateful as I was for what we had been given.

  "Well thank the lord, that's over." Glenn smacked Joey as soon as his smart-ass comment came out of his mouth. "I'm just playin', jeez."

  For the rest of the day we all enjoyed each other’s company. When the day came to an end, everyone slowly started making their way home. The last few people that were left were me, Madison, Cami, Glenn and Joey. We were all waiting with baited breath for Glenn to make his big move, but as the night progressed, it was looking more and more like it wasn't going to happen. Lydia and my grandparents excused themselves and made their way home and off to bed. We were looking at each other, just waiting for everyone to leave, so we could try our hands at what we had been wanting to do since the minute I saw Madison roll into that hospital room.

  I stood to say good-bye and slowly kick everyone out, but Glenn motioned for me to sit back down and we all knew what was about to happen. I grabbed Madison's hand and held on for what I knew might be a bumpy ride. I mean Cami was still in high school and to top it all off, she lived in Arizona.

  "Look, I'm glad y'all are here. Today of all days, I am so thankful for so many different things. First, I'm thankful for my family and friends. Joey and Madison, you both mean so much to me and I couldn't have imagined growin' up without either one of you. Kayla, you're one of us now, and I'm thankful that Madison finally found someone who could show him the true meaning of love. We all can't wait to meet y'all's new addition either. And lastly, I'm thankful for this crazy girl in front of me. Cami, since the first day I met your snarky ass, I knew I had met my match. I know it hasn't been that long since we've been together, but I can't imagine being without you." Glenn got down on one knee and my hand flew up to my mouth containing a small gasp from the look on Cami's face.

  "Would you do me the honor of marrying me, and bein' mine forever?"

  We all held our breath, awaiting an answer just as much as Glenn was. She crouched down on the ground in front of Glenn, taking his face in between her hands. "Yes, absolutely, one hundred percent yes."

  We all collectively let out a loud sigh of relief when she answered. I grabbed Joey's hand with one of mine and then grabbed Madison's with the other. I was just so grateful to have both of these wonderful guys, who cared so much about me. I leaned over and kissed Madison square on the lips, letting him know exactly how I felt. I needed and wanted him more than I had ever thought I would or ever could want anybody. This was my life, and I was more than ready for everything it was willing to throw at me.

  Chapter 25

  Madison

  It had been too long since I had seen my pretty girl and her growing belly. Too long! So much had happened since I was released from the hospital and I was a nervous wreck anticipating seein' her in person. It had now been three months since we had been out on the road touring, if that's what you want to call it. The band and I had followed through with our agreement with the record company and a week after my casts came off, we were off to do as many music festivals as we could.

  It felt amazing to be back up on stage where I belonged. The roar of the crowds, the exhilaration of performing in front of thousands of people and the endless hours of lack of sleep were all worth it, knowin' that I was doin' what I loved, and providing for my family. The sheer adrenaline was enough to keep me goin' even on the nights when I thought my heart would break without havin' her by my side.

  FaceTime was only doin' so much to keep us connected. Don't get me wrong, I loved every second that I got to see her beautifully glowing face and her growing belly, but I needed to feel her again. I needed to touch her and have that physical contact that only she could provide.

  I had seen her on Christmas for less than forty-eight hours, but it was the best forty-eight hours a guy could've imagined. We always made the most of our short time with one another, but we knew in the end that this would only pull us closer together.

  I bounced my leg nonstop waiting for them to board our plane from New Jersey. I thought it would go unnoticed, but as always Glenn was always there to point out when I was anxious.

  "Dude, you're gonna bounce your leg right off. Just chill out, you'll get to see her soon enough."

  He was right. Our flight was a nonstop red eye flight and I couldn't wait to be home, in her arms again, but bein' away from her was sheer torture. Kayla didn't know that we were done with our shows for a while. Hell, she didn't even know we were on our way home. When we spoke earlier tonight before she went to bed, I had promised to call her first thing in the morning, knowin' damn good and well that I would see her instead of just speaking to her.

  In the amount of time that we had been together, we had been through our fair share of shit to say the least, but we came through it unscathed and happier than ever. I had never cared for someone so much in all of my life. Kayla had taught me so much in the last ten months, more than I think even she thought possible. She pushed me to follow my dreams, as I did for her, but she had also taught me just how fragile life can be.

  We rarely talked about that night that led us to where we were now; there was no reason to. I had what I always knew I wanted, from the first day I met her. In all the time I spent wishing and hoping that I
could protect her from all the bad, she ended up protecting me by showing me all the good that lay ahead of us. We may not be engaged yet, but we were gonna have a family and that to me spoke volumes more than a piece of paper and a ring on her finger.

  "Dude seriously, I'm gonna break your leg off." Glenn was more ornery than usual, but I could only assume it was because he missed Cami, just as much as I missed Kayla.

  "Sorry, man." I apologized.

  I made a conscience effort to keep my leg still, but I still found myself still bein' anxious. I thought back to our last video chat with the fondest of memories, and I smiled at the thought of how my pretty girl looked carryin' my baby. She had turned sideways in the full-length mirror in her room wearing a new long form fitting dress that I had bought her for Christmas. It hugged her growing belly and I found myself mesmerized by the way she looked. I wanted to rub her belly. I wanted to lovingly caress her body and lay my head on her stomach, and talk to my growing child inside of her.

  Finally, we boarded our plane and were headed out to the runway. It would only be a couple hours until I could sneak in bed beside her and wrap her in my arms. I lay my head back as visions of the coming months would prove to be the best of my life. I had so much planned. I was just hopin' that she was open to all my plans, despite the fact that I had made some of them without her knowledge. I knew how she felt about things like that, and I found myself nervous as all hell.

  A couple hours later, we were landing in Texas and I was elated. I had been tired on the plane and could very well have fallen asleep, but I had just gotten my second wind and I was eager to get off the damn plane. The best part of flyin' out on a red eye was that there was next to no one on the plane with us. We didn't have to wait for slow ass people to mosey their tired asses off the plane, and I hadn't checked any bags so the minute the doors opened, I was outta there.

  I headed straight for my truck in the small economy lot, turning the ignition over and bringing it to life. I had spoken to Kayla's grandfather before we left and had him leave my truck for me. He was the only one who knew how late I would be getting in and I didn't want to wake anyone up when I finally reached her house.