by Martha Carr
Louie moved cautiously around the room, examining all the cracks, pressing on different areas, looking for weak spots. Nothing was giving way. “This is either gonna be one hell of a hero story or a shit show with an audience of one.” He stepped back, his hands on his hips. “Come on, dude. You’ve faced worse than this. Steady.” He held up his wand and twirled it, a flame appearing on the end that flickered, bending to the right.
“Air pocket…” He made his way in the direction the flame was pointing and looked more closely at the wall. “Grandma Petey you are about to be proud of your little boy. I remember what you told me.” He put up his hands and spread his fingers, pressing them firmly against the wall. “Of course, I thought you were blowing smoke up my skirt at the time… Okay,” he muttered, repeating his grandmother’s old adage. “I come from a special line of Wizards with more than meets the eye. When in trouble breathe deeply and hold on to trouble. Grandma, I’m feelin you.”
Louie cleared his mind and relaxed his shoulders, pressing against the wall. There was a warm rush of energy that slowly crawled its way up his legs, making its way through his abdomen, filling every space inside of him. “What the fuck? Grandma Petey, who were you doing the horizontal boogie with? No Wizard can pull off shit like this! Whooaaaaa…” Louie looked down in amazement and saw a purple glow surrounding his body as the magic continued to spread up his chest and through his shoulders, moving out through his arms. “I’m not sure if I’m peeing right now or not. Fuck, totally worth it if I get something out of this place.”
He looked up at the wall as the energy got to his hands. “Alacazam motherfucker,” he whispered and pressed harder against the wall. The purple glow poured into the rock, becoming liquid, filling every crevice until a section of wall glowed from within and started to move. “A goddamn door. What kind of crazy ass magical beings could pull off this magic act?”
The door slowly scraped open, grinding against the floor and sides until it was wide enough for Louie to slip through to the other side. As soon as he did, the door slammed shut, becoming one with the stone around it again, the glow receding into darkness. “That was worth the price of admission.” Louie rubbed his side and grinned from ear to ear.
He pulled out his wand again and waved it, lighting up the chamber as his mouth dropped open and it felt like the air was rushing out of his lungs. “I…can’t…believe… It’s true.”
Three yards in front of him was a set of large brass vases with large handles three feet tall, surrounding a large carved stone. On top of the stone was a sword with a gold handle. “Kind of been done before. The whole sword in the stone thing. Little cliché guys!” Louie looked up, shouting in the cavern as his voice echoed back to him. “Okay, no time like the present.” He clapped his hands together and made his way over to the stone, watching where he was stepping. “Grandma Petey, if you can hear me, I could use a little help right now. What was the other part of that story? Right about now, I’m sorry I tuned you out and went fishing. Let’s see. Something about lots of tests… or was it traps?”
Louie stepped closer as the ground beneath his feet lit up and a vase moved aside. Louie nodded his head. “That’s got to be a good sign, sure. Okay, thank you Grandma Petey. I owe you one.” He licked his lips and his mouth felt dry. “World’s worst game show.” He took another step closer to the sword and directed the light from his wand to shine directly on it. Inscribed in the handle were three infinity symbols entwined around an artful J. “Fucking mother lode all in one handy relic. The stories are real. Love it when a myth comes together.” Louie could feel his face flush with excitement. A relic from the Jasper Elves would be priceless and powerful.
He took another look around the chamber, still standing between the large metal vases, careful to move as little as possible. “What was the rest of that story? Sea monsters. No, that was something about Trevilsom Prison. No harpies. Death was in there somewhere. I distinctly remember Grandma Petey saying death. Of course, she threatened me with that a lot. Love the old bat. Damn. Would love to phone a friend right about now.”
Louie bit his lip, figuring his odds as he studied the sword and the stone. “Don’t suppose there’s some kind of spell or riddle or some kind of shit like that. Inky, blinky and bob.” He repeated an old children’s spell, bolstering his courage, trying to make up his mind. Back up to study some more or grab the sword and run.
“Hell with it,” he said raising his hands, just as bats flew out of the slimmest of cracks, expanding as they hit the air, flying straight at Louie, pecking at his head. “Son of a bitch!” He swatted at the creatures, slamming one to the ground as the rest continued on their way, seeping into cracks in the far wall. Louie gave off a shudder, wiping his hands on his pants. “Bat goo. What next?”
Before anything else could happen, Louie reached over and pulled on the sword, expecting resistance but the blade easily came out of the stone, letting out a clean, high-pitched note in the still air. “Weirdly disappointing, unless I’m now the ruler of somewhere on Earth.”
He held the heavy sword up in front of him, the tip reaching high enough to scratch against the ceiling. The handle vibrated in his hands, giving off a familiar glow. “The same as those crystals that kept scorching the customers. Interesting.”
The sword vibrated faster and faster, giving off a series of notes as the ground beneath Louie’s feet began to rumble. “Holy shit!” Louie grabbed the handle with both hands, doing his best to hold on to the sword. “A hundred-pound vibrator with razor sharp edges is a little too far into the kinky side for me. Grandma Petey would not approve.” He was shouting as he strained to hold on to the sword. Slowly it started to tilt toward his head and the finely-honed edges came closer to his face.
Louie let out a roar and dug into his resolve, squeezing his eyes shut. The purple flow of energy quickly returned, sliding through him, helping him to finally steady the sword and hold it over his head. Every muscle in his body ached and he felt a sharp spark pass through his back, sweat pouring off his face. He smiled broadly, turning the sword in his hands to look at every side. “Third test and rocked it!”
The smile slid off his face as the rock dissolved into dust along the floor of the cavern and the dirt around Louie’s feet turned into thick green vines covered in thorns that wasted no time sliding up his legs, piercing his skin, making their way toward his waist.
“You have got to be kidding me! Every goddamn children’s fairytale come to life with an ugly twist!” The vines squeezed around his middle making it harder for him to breathe.
Louie slashed at the vines with the sword, focusing his energy as the sword easily sliced through and the vines withered and turned to black, falling back toward the ground as quickly as they reached up to tear him apart. “Anything else?” He yelled as loud as he could, letting out a roar from deep inside his chest. The echo died down and the room was still. An odd sense of peace passed through him and his mind cleared. He took quick stock of his injuries. There were small punctures in Louie’s hands and along his legs, and bruises on his head from the bats, and his ribs were still tender from the long fall.
“Grandma Petey you may have downplayed things a bit.” He looked at the large vases and thought about taking one with him, pursing his lips. He put his hand closer and felt the shock of electricity pass through his hand. “Maybe not this trip.”
Louie held up the sword and went to the farthest wall, pressing the tip of the sword against the rock. “Worked once, will work again.” Nothing happened. He let out a frustrated sigh and leaned against a nearby wall as it swung open and deposited him on the other side, landing on his ass, barely holding on to the sword. The door swung shut again and he found himself back on Dead Man’s Crawl with no idea how he got there. He got to his feet, covered in a fine silt down the back of his pants.
An army of fire ants the size of his fist came marching toward him, their pincers clicking loud enough to drown out any other sound. Their shells were known to be as
hard as steel and their poison an instant death. Running was usually the only option.
Without thinking, Louie raised the sword and swung, cleanly cutting the first row in half as the others quickly retreated. “What the…” He looked at the sword and wiped the ant slime off on the vines growing up the side of the wall. “That’s supposed to be impossible.”
Louie’s imagination spun with the possibilities the sword was offering to him. He fashioned a holster for the sword from a belt, wrapping the leather around the handle, close to the hilt as he made his way out of Dead Man’s Crawl. He had the treasure he was hunting and was done for the day.
“Thanks Grandma Petey,” he shouted, as he ran through the narrow passage, twisting his body to fit, the sword banging against the side.
Chapter Seven
The local Austin offices of the Paranormal Defense Fund were starting to feel more like a command post to Leira and less like a warehouse. Even Hagan was getting used to the virtual screens that hung over the center of the cavernous building. He was standing under them over by the couches, doing his best to figure out how to read them but having no luck.
“It’s an alphabet like any other.” Lois was there from the D.C. bureau of the PDF to give them an update. “You’re holding a basic list in your hand. A cheat sheet for god sakes! I made it for you myself!”
“It’s more like Morse code than an alphabet.” Hagan squinted, trying to remember the patterns. “Agh, no good!” He threw up his hands.
“Well, for Pete’s sake. You barely tried!” Lois waved her wand and slowed down the ticker. “Try again!” she commanded. She had a soft spot for Hagan or she wouldn’t have bothered barking at him.
Leira had her head down at her desk situated across the large open area, studying a map of the Midwest farming area but it was just an excuse to run the pieces through her mind again. More corporations were busy planting seeds from Oriceran even after Perrom had stopped the large conglomerate Axiom and torn apart their labs. Their old supplier, Rhazdon was gone and in hiding somewhere on Oriceran. But someone had taken over for her and was still selling to corporations who could pay.
There were a lot of satellite photos that said the crops were spreading to other places too.
“Are we sure this is a bad thing?” Hagan looked over at Leira. It was nice to see her sitting next to Correk again. Funny how easy it is to get used to someone. She didn’t say much about his absence the entire time he was gone but Hagan noticed she had been sliding into some of her old habits. Talking less, kicking ass more.
“General Anderson calls it a bad thing, so we call it a bad thing. We’re enforcing the rules.” Leira glanced up at him but went back to looking at the map. Something about the way the crops were sprouting up. There’s a pattern here.
“You don’t question authority? Come on, and I’m going to finally lose the rest of that weight and run a marathon. Don’t kid a kidder.”
Leira looked up at him with a dead fish look. Hagan smiled. “At last! I feel better.”
“Now can we get back to the screen?” Lois sent a small jolt with her wand to his soft belly, making Hagan yelp.
“What the hell was that for?”
“I miss Patsy. Go figure. Now focus.”
Leira shook her head. “Does Perrom know anything?” She looked up at Correk. He insisted on coming with her and helping with a case. Anything to get out of the guest house and see the sights in Austin again. He said he’d done enough sitting still for a lifetime. The troll stayed behind to watch reruns of Alf on TV Land.
“I haven’t asked him yet. What? I just got back here. I’m not opening portals this week. We can figure out some of this on our own.”
Leira narrowed her eyes and looked at him more closely. Are you okay? She wanted to say the words out loud but knew he would bristle. “If I buy you Reese’s cups with the Reese’s pieces inside them will you do it?”
“I already knew about those and I’m not a child. Great, now I’m hungry.” He wheeled his chair closer to Leira’s desk and lowered his voice so Hagan and Lois couldn’t hear them.
“I’m fine. Light Elf promise.” He made an X in the air with a white light that sizzled and faded.
Lois gave up and waved her wand, fixing the screens so Hagan could get a readout he could understand. “There. No magic required.” Lois stood back and admired her handiwork.
“Seems a little strange to see you without your sidekick.” Hagan raised his eyebrows and gave her a smile. They became fast friends ever since the run in with a few of Rhazdon’s younger followers.
“I was on my way back from PTO when the assignment came through. Patsy agreed to watch the office a little longer while I swung by here.” She shifted, looking up at the screen so Hagan couldn’t see she was trying to keep a few things to herself. No need to mention the Midwest, or Oriceran or portals or watching a friggin dragon come to life.
“Do anything fun?” Hagan looked over at the vending machine across the room, trying to talk himself out of walking over there.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake. How do you ever fool a suspect in an interrogation? You’re as bad as Patsy!” Lois swung her wand in a series of small circles. A Baby Ruth chocolate bar flew across the room and Hagan neatly caught it as he looked a little sheepish.
“Must be why we get along so well,” he said, tearing off the wrapper. “Where do Witches go to take a load off? If you don’t mind me asking.” He was doing his best to chew and talk at the same time.
“I saw some old friends. Agnes and Salem. Just hung out together, caught up.” Saved a few lives, fought off Rogue Dragon worshippers. Regular vacation like any other. Like I never left the Silver Griffins.
“What’s that nasty burn on your arm? Looks pretty fresh.” He squinted to get a better look.
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Fire breathing dragons in Oriceran. Just like Vegas. Lois let out a snort.
“Vegas! I love that place. You ever been to Sam’s Town? Not quite on the strip but a real deal! And a water and light show right in the lobby! Rose loves the place.”
“Okay, spill it.” Correk crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow at Leira. “Why are you working so hard over finding out who’s trading Oriceran seeds for cash? I get it, it’s an order from the general. But you’re a little too intent on this, especially given we’re supposed to be chasing artifacts.”
“It was something I saw,” whispered Leira, glancing over at Hagan.
Correk looked over his shoulder and back at Leira, surprised. “You didn’t tell Hagan? What did you see?”
“Strangest thing. Didn’t know what to make of it and I wanted to get a little more information before I stirred up trouble. We went out to look at some of these crops while you were gone. Just a reconnaissance mission to gather information and I found this on the ground.” Leira opened her desk drawer and reached in the back for a small box. She opened it and showed Correk the contents. Inside was a dead cicada that was half wires and parts.
Correk scowled when he saw it.
“It gets weirder. Pick it up.”
Correk looked at her and Leira held the box closer. “Go on. It’s the best way to explain it.”
Correk picked up the cicada between his fingers and felt a familiar hum in his fingers. He started and dropped the bug back into the box. “It’s part artifact,” he hissed, leaning in closer to look at the dead bug. Hagan and Lois looked up from what they were doing but Leira softened her expression and lowered the box. They went back to looking at the virtual screens.
“Creepy to the power of ten, right? I wanted to tell Turner Underwood but the general said the whole seed thing was top secret, highest clearance. I wasn’t sure that included a thousand-year-old Elf. But I’ll tell you, if you hadn’t come back I would have told him anyway. I mean, I know it’s just a bug but someone fused an artifact to a living thing. What if this is a prototype for something else? I know I’m just part human but I’ve been around these parts long enough to k
now we’re a rather creative bunch and sometimes we stray off the ranch and do some eerie shit.”
“It’s a bug.”
“I know, Correk. I just said that and you can see that. Your head okay?” Leira looked at him, concerned.
“Stop that. I mean it’s a bug. It’s a listening device. I’ve seen these before. The Wood Elves have been known to use them. Never knew who or what was making them. Rumors were that they got the parts from the Dark Market and used magic to put it all together.”
“Magic has to be involved somewhere. But what if they aren’t the ones who made them?”
“Did you only see one of them?”
“Not sure but I thought I saw some flying in a small swarm but they were too far away to be sure. I haven’t told the general yet either.”
“What are you waiting for?”
Leira hesitated. If I can’t tell Correk… “I remembered seeing something like this once before but it took a little digging to be sure.” Leira dug around in the back of her desk again and pulled out a silk pouch.
“How much contraband is in that desk drawer?”
Leira grimaced and ignored the jab. She opened the pouch and carefully shook out the contents into the palm of her hand. Out rolled another cicada, teal blue and a deep emerald green with fragile wings. It was partially fused to metal. “This one is a lot older. At least five years old, not sure.”
“Where’d you get that?”
Leira cleared her throat and looked up to be sure no one had wandered any closer. “In Nana’s boxes. This one is hers. I remember seeing it when I was going through her things before but I never picked it up. I thought it was some of her new age jewelry and I stored it away.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
