by Martha Carr
Perrom startled at Correk’s words and started to say something but stopped himself. I should tell him about Ossonia. We’re old friends…
Leira watched the bird fly away, feeling a momentary peace. May it last. She felt the magic stir in her feet, a thin sliver of it riding up her spine, responding to her emotions. The skin along her chest was flushed as she breathed harder. “The bionic animals are nearby.” The words slipped out. Fuck, broke Hagan’s rule. Said too much.
Correk wasn’t even subtle about it. He reached out and grabbed Leira’s arm, letting the energy flow through him as the bracelet jangled on her wrist. “The connection is growing. You can sense when they’re around.” He looked her up and down, feeling some of the same connection. “If one of those animals is killed…”
“I will feel their pain, but I won’t die.” I hope… “And it seems to have a limit to the distance. I can’t feel anything if they’re not close enough. Close like, within a mile… or two.”
“That’s why the magic sought out that shifter.” Correk was putting two and two together pretty quickly. He searched her face to see if she was trying to keep something from him. “You suspect the same thing, don’t you?” His stomach turned sour as Leira gave a hard nod.
“I didn’t know for sure. There was no point in making a pronouncement with no field testing.”
“Field testing?” His voice rose to a shout as Perrom took a step back and the branches above rustled with the sounds of animals and birds moving further away. The deer Perrom had been petting spooked and ran quickly through the woods as other deer poked their heads out to get an idea of the danger and quickly followed suit.
“From the first damn day I was ordered to help you, you drilled it into me how important it was for two beings who work together to trust each other and tell each other everything. No fucking secrets! I believe those were your exact words.”
“Ordered to help me.” Leira’s expression was strained and anger was quickly replacing the sense of peace. That didn’t take fucking long but it’s leaving in a way I didn’t expect. Less weaponry but still hurts. “That’s the first thought on your mind.”
“I think this is not my fight so…” Perrom turned to go but no one else seemed to notice as Correk cut him off, still shouting, waving his arm.
“After everything we’ve been through that’s where you go. Do you trust me or not?”
Perrom glanced back over his shoulder at his friend as he muttered, “He has got it bad… Elf bad. Last a thousand years bad… Good for him, poor bastard.” He smiled as he slipped further into the forest, the scales along his skin flipping to match his surroundings. He could still hear the shouting as he blended into the background, whistling to the song birds nearby, any guilt about Ossonia floating away.
“Fuck me, of course I trust you! But… I didn’t want…”
“Didn’t want what? There’s no half measures with trust. You’re either all in or you’re playing games.”
“I didn’t want to see you hurt again.” The words came out in an angry rush. The image of Correk lying on the battle field close to death flashed in her mind. She stood there defiant, her hands on her hips, determined to win this one.
Correk shook his head. “Enough.”
“Enough what?” She raised her chin, waiting. “I would have told…”
Correk grabbed Leira by the opening to her leather jacket, pulling her close and pressing his mouth eagerly against hers, letting his tongue glide against her teeth. Leira stiffened at first, her arms out to the side but she quickly gave in and wrapped her arms around his waist, gently biting his lower lip.
The energy swept up through her feet swirling inside of her and rushing from Leira to Correk, sweeping around them, lighting up their corner of the forest, sending a beacon into the sky. Perrom was already a distance away and saw the light pushing through the thick canopy. “Now that’s interesting. Good for you, my oldest friend.”
Leira pulled back from Correk looking at his face and resting her hand against his cheek. “This is not the best timing,” she said, as the light continued to swirl around them. “We still have a few assholes to go take care of.”
“If this is your unique way of saying you’re all in, I’ll take it.”
Leira let out a short laugh and rested her head against his chest for a moment. She let out a deep breath as the peace returned to her and she pulled back, the light dying down and the magic swirling in reverse, back into the ground. “That was a badass kiss, Super Elf,” she whispered, her hand still on his chest. “Really does kind of make opening day of your Forest of Solitude kind of special.”
He reached down and gently kissed her again.
“We need to go.” Leira slowly stepped back from him. “We need to…” she let out a deep breath… “fuck, stick to the singleness of purpose, here.” She held up her hand. “Making out with you is not it. Not yet anyway. We have to go save the fucking world, first. Then we figure out what this means.” Leira headed out of the forest before her good intentions faded away, the rush of energy making her feel lightheaded and her heart beating a little faster.
Correk caught up with her easily, pushing aside a branch. “That’s right, Eireka was sent away when you were still pretty young. I can explain it to you if you like. Even show you in more detail. What do they call it on this planet? The birds and the bees.”
“Very funny. How long have you been wanting to do that? I wasn’t the only one holding back bits of pertinent information.”
“Hit me in the moment. Hey, now that we have a place to meet we should form our own Magic League.”
“You really have to make more friends here than just the troll. You sound like you hang out in a comic book shop all day. I think Yumfuck actually has more friends than you do.”
They came out into the open field at the edge of the forest. The day was a bright blue with a light Texas wind rustling the long grass.
“I’d hold your hand, but I know you well enough to know you’d rather run down a felon.”
“Oh dear God, you suppose right. Now you’re just messing with me. Where’s a good gun battle when you need one?”
Correk let out a snort of laughter and formed a ball of light in his hands, singing into it as he pulled it apart, creating a portal that opened up into her living room.
“Feeling cocky, opening portals to go such a short distance,” said Leira, stepping through into her living room.
At the last moment, she reached back and held out her hand for Correk, giving him a crooked smile. He took her hand tightly and stepped through, back into the guest house.
“You two look a little too happy.” Mara sat up on the edge of the couch, cocking an eyebrow as she tilted her head. “Good day?”
Leira startled, squeezing Correk’s hand as she let it go. “Nana… what are you doing here?”
“We have to finish planning your mother’s bridal shower, remember? Mayhem can take a back seat for a moment. And whatever you two are up to. Don’t bother protesting. It’s about fucking time. I thought I was going to have to sit you both down.”
“Well, Leira could use a few pointers on…”
Leira jabbed him hard in the ribs with her elbow as Correk shrugged. “Just trying to help.”
“At last, a little happiness in this house. Protect it like a precious flame, you two. There are forces that will test it… Now, come help me pick out a theme for this shindig.”
“A perfect example of my life right now. A little bit of world-wide threat mixed in with normal life stuff.” Leira sat down next to Mara as Correk waved at them, heading out the door to the bar for a beer with Estelle. She smiled at him as he waved, still feeling his lips against hers. Damn, that was good.
Chapter Seven
Yumfuck set out from the guest house with his small Ninja Turtle backpack early in the morning in search of a mission. He had found his new calling. Tucked into his backpack was a homemade mask made out of his favorite black pair of pantie
s with holes cut out for eyes. “It’ll do for now. I am Batfuck…” he growled as he slid under the gate and headed out into the world looking for trouble.
He made his way down Rainey Street keeping an eye out for a chance to test his skills, but the street was mostly empty except for the few people stopping in the food truck court further down the block to get a breakfast taco before they headed for work. The troll easily slipped around their feet without being noticed, breathing in the odor of bacon and egg wrapped in a tortilla. “Yum….” He stopped and looked back, wondering if there was time but held up his little paw. “No…” The troll shook his head as two college students working off a hangover walked by.
“Extra salsa is the key. It gets your blood going,” said the young man in shorts, flip flops and a UT sweatshirt.
“I don’t know…” said his friend in baggy jeans and a button-down shirt. His hair was rumpled and there were dark circles under his eyes.
“You need to do something, Ralph. You look like death warmed over.”
Ralph grimaced, hesitating.
“Come on! Do it!”
The troll watched, licking his lips. “I can see how Ralph got himself into trouble last night,” he squeaked.
“You hear something?”
“Quit delaying. Take a bite. A big one. There you go. That’s how you do it.”
Ralph chomped down on the side of the taco, splintering the shell as Yumfuck slid underneath, his mouth wide open ready to catch all the falling pieces. He opened and shut his mouth, chewing as fast as he could as bits of cheese, bacon and egg and bits of tortilla with globs of salsa came his way. Tiny sounds of gargling erupted out of him. Ralph peered over the taco he was eating and saw the small troll with green hair wearing a tiny backpack and jumped, dropping the rest of the taco.
Yumfuck easily caught it gently in his arms and ran for the security of the nearby bushes.
“You see that? There was a…a…a gerbil wearing a backpack! He stole my taco!”
“Oh Ralph, this is worse than I thought. Dude, you’re still drunk! Come on, we’ll get you a taco with some of that ghost pepper salsa. That’ll knock it right out of you. Come on, you’ll thank me later.”
“No, wait… but…” Ralph spied the troll devouring his taco, shoving pieces into his mouth. Yumfuck always liked to be hospitable and waved, smiling, his cheeks bulging. “Yumfuck!” he chirped, happy with the way the day was starting. “Maybe just one more.” He trilled, adjusting his backpack and pulling out his panties, tying them around his head. “Go in undercover, motherfuckers!”
He crept along the rim of the grassy food court till he got to the first truck. From there it was easy to creep along the back of each truck till he got to the short green truck with large pink hearts and the words Taco Baby painted at the top. There was a long line crowded in front of the truck but the young woman in a white t-shirt and stained white apron was moving fast, taking down orders and grabbing the tacos being made behind her.
Yumfuck scrambled up the side of one of the large tires positioned right under the order window and perched himself on the edge, leaning out. A flutter of white napkins passed by him and a tall, leggy blonde woman with a long braid looked underneath. “A troll,” she whispered, delighted. “In a mask, no less!” She put her finger to her lips and smiled, giving the troll a wink. “I’ve got you.” She stood back up and pulled out two extra dollars. “Can I get one more?” She took the warm taco wrapped in foil and bent down, handing it over to the troll. “Not a rescue, okay? My mom would kill me if I bonded with one of you.”
The troll let out a cackle and grabbed onto the taco with both hands, lifting it over his head as he slid off the side of the tire. Ralph watched the bobbing taco run toward him through the grass and felt the remains of what he just ate bubble up inside of him. “I am never drinking again… This time I mean it!”
“Aloha motherfucker!” chirped the troll as he ran across Ralph’s foot.
“Tell me you saw that! Tell me you saw the taco talk! Clear as day! Aloha motherfucker!” Ralph held out his foot as if it were evidence of something.
The young woman whispered into Ralph’s ear too quietly for anyone to hear. “Never was, never will be.” Ralph teetered, rocking back on his heels and fell backward into his friend’s arms, out cold. “You are a serious lightweight, dude,” his friend, muttered, laying him out in the grass and splashing his face with water.
The girl watched the troll disappear around the corner and smiled, grateful for the little reminder of another home.
Ralph sputtered and opened his eyes, looking around. “What happened?” His face turned red as he saw all the people gathered around him.
“Dude, you were insisting the whole world was coming to life and talking to you. Dancing gerbils, talking tacos! What exactly did you drink last night?”
Hands reached out to help Ralph to his feet as he looked around dazed. “What? Last thing I remember was paying for the parking. Did we eat yet?”
The girl slipped out of the park, turning just in time to see a taco in silver foil bobbing further down the street.
The troll found an old twisted root to sit on under a bush and opened the foil, diving head first into the center of the taco, his mouth wide open. “Mmmm… yumfuck.” He wiped his mouth on nearby leaves and balled up the foil making a nice layup into the nearby trash can and scrambled out from under the bushes heading toward Davis Street. Ralph’s friend shook his head hard. “Dude… did you just see? Never mind. Think we got hold of some bad tequila last night. Still seeing things.”
The troll made his way down Davis toward the frontage road by the highway, determined to find someone to help. He rubbed his belly, letting out a loud belch, tasting the taco again and smiling. “What?” He held his paw up to his pointy ear, listening. There it was again.
The sound of loud mewing coming from a nearby pecan tree growing in front of a strip mall. An orange tabby was stuck in the tree near the top, too frightened to come back down the way it got up there, crying for help, tucked into a corner by the trunk.
“At last!” The troll swung into action, flexing its tiny muscles for a moment, getting into character. Yumfuck adjusted the mask and set out to climb the tree, digging in with his claws as he got near the cat. The cat saw the masked troll coming closer and mewed louder, backing away from the approaching new super hero. Yumfuck stopped on a lower branch and trilled, calming the cat, studying the best way to get the tabby to safety. He took off the mask, putting it in his backpack and set the backpack aside, hanging it off a narrow branch. Still trilling, he grew to the size of a large dog, bending the branch he was standing on as he reached up to grab the cat and put her under his arm.
The cat looked at the rows of sharp teeth and tufts of green hair on the growing furry troll in front of her and she arched her back, hissing. The troll was not deterred. “Batfuck does not back down!” He reached out for the cat, scaring her as she rolled backward off the branch, half falling, half leaping from branch to branch till she was finally back on the ground. She shook all over, her fur still standing on end and scampered away.
The troll watched from the tree, only a little disappointed. “Cat rescued, still counts.” He shrunk back down to his usual five inches and gathered his backpack and mask, scrambling back down the tree. Once safely on the ground again he brushed his hands together. “All in all, a damn fine morning!”
Chapter Eight
There was yellow tape across room 302 at the Driskill Hotel as most of the management met downstairs to decide what to do about the room. There was a suggestion to play up the haunted features of the room and see if there were any takers but most of the staff wanted to lock the door and never open it again.
Several guests complained of finding their belongings ransacked and a strange clear goo clinging to everything. Dry cleaning was quickly offered and a free night but no real explanation beyond a shrug and mutterings about how strange people are these days.
A
junior manager was sent up with a bellhop to inspect the room and write down any of the damage for the insurance claim. Both young men stood nervously outside the door, debating about going inside.
“We have to at least inspect the room.” The junior manager grasped the iPad close to his chest against his dark blue polyester jacket with large gold buttons.
“I say we make a good estimate of the damage. No one else is willing to go in there. They’ll never know. Put down that the carpet’s ruined along with the bedspread, and maybe the curtain and a lamp. I’ll bet we’re close to being right.”
“No, that’s too much of a guess. Look, we can compromise. We open the door and stand right here and see if we can tell what’s ruined. Then at least if they ask us if we saw the damage we can answer honestly.”
“What if they ask if we went in the room?”
“We’ll put a foot over the line so we can answer that one too.” The junior manager reached out, hesitantly touching the doorknob, prepared for anything.
“Gaaah!” The bellhop let out a yelp, startling the junior manager who jumped back, plastering himself against the far wall.
“What the hell did you do that for?” His voice came out in a squeak, breaking in the middle.
“You almost peed yourself, didn’t you?” The bellhop grinned, cracking his knuckles. “Okay, I’m ready now. Do it! Let’s light this rocket!”
“You do it, you little fucker!”
“I’m pretty sure the hotel employee manual says you can’t talk to me like that.”
“Do it or I’ll throw you in the room myself and shut the door!”
“Are you crying? Fine, I’ll do it. Geez, you should be thanking me.” The bellhop wiped his damp palms on his pants, swallowing hard. “I broke the tension,” he muttered, leaning back as he touched the handle with the tips of his fingers.
“You have to use the key card, you dolt.”
The bellhop let out a frustrated sigh. “You could have mentioned that. That means we’re even.” He held out his hand for the card as the junior manager slapped it into his open palm. “Okay, attempt number two.”
