The odd skirt she wore definitely had its advantages. She straddled him as well as any horse. He released her hands and trailed his right hand slowly down her stomach, giving her time to stop him if she wished. She stiffened, but did not draw away. He cupped her mons through her skirt with his hand and squeezed. Her eyelids drooped languidly. The tip of her tongue darted out and she licked her lips.
Alex groaned at the sensual gesture, the moist heat of her.
Then he raised his eyes and saw her staring at his lips. His breath caught. She bent closer, her lips hovering just inches above his. She was going to kiss him and he dared not move, afraid of startling her. Her wine-sweetened breath teased his lips, and her soft breasts cushioning his chest were a delicious torment as he waited. She closed the gap, when a drop of water splashed on his forehead, breaking the spell.
They both looked to the sky and saw a bank of dark clouds had moved in unawares. The sky opened up then and a cold spring rain poured down on them.
Kat jumped from his lap, avoiding his eyes and shivering. Alex cursed.
He gathered up their picnic quickly, grabbed Kat’s hand and they ran for shelter. He was wet, cold and his clothes sodden by the time they reached the shed. While Alex stood beneath the roof and observed the sky, Kat leaned against the back wall, staring at her feet. Zeus nudged him from behind and Alex considered it a sign.
“There is no predicting how long the storm will last,” he said ironically. “I suggest we shelter in the hunting lodge until the storm passes.”
She raised her eyes at that, her voice cold. “You can wait in the lodge if you like. I’m perfectly comfortable here.”
Alex sighed inwardly at the swift change in her attitude. “You may catch the ague if you stay out here in those wet clothes. I believe there are towels inside the lodge and wood for a fire,” he said reasonably.
She shook her head. “Perhaps I did not make myself clear. I’m not taking one step from this shed. Besides, you said earlier you have no key.”
Alex laughed at her stubbornness. “Very well, have it your way.”
Then he scooped her up, threw her over his shoulder and ran across the courtyard. She screamed in rage, beating him on his back, but his right hand splayed over her buttocks held her secure. He raised his foot, kicked once, then twice, and the door burst open. Once inside, he turned, closed the door firmly behind him and let Kat slide to the floor.
Hot blood pounding, Alex did not immediately release Kat. Instead, he pressed her against the door, and when she opened her mouth to protest, he covered her lips, his mouth hot and hungry as his tongue sought hers. His rampant erection settled against her plump mons, furrowing through the flimsy barrier of wet wool she wore. He searched her warm haven, and the nether lips shielding her entry cradled his cock. Liquid heat scalded him. He growled, his need unbearable.
Thrilled that she did not resist him, that she now stared up at him with dazed eyes, he thrust his swollen member against her mons again and again with slow, teasing strokes. A gasping moan escaped her and she raised her arms, sliding her fingers into his hair. She pulled his head down and kissed him, her tongue thrashing in tandem with his.
Alex’s heart expanded and contracted as though about to burst with joy—never before had she initiated any intimacies between them. She ground her hips against him and he appeased her by stroking harder, faster. Her breathy moans and plump flesh held him hostage, enflaming him.
Wanting to give her more, he slid his hand through the seam in front of her skirts and found her hot core. With two fingers he explored the moist folds, rubbing back and forth and side to side, seeking, learning her anew. Her inner lips were thicker, the flesh swollen and wet with desire. Oh, to taste her honeyed flesh.
But that would have to wait. She groaned, thrusting her hips against his invading hand. He moved his fingers down her slick crease, stroking faster. Kat panted wildly, her soft moans driving him to distraction.
After long delicious moments, he added his thumb and pressed against her engorged bud. She cried out loud, her juices bathing his fingers. Alex swallowed her cry with a kiss, then his lips trailed down her neck, nibbling and kissing her, licking the cool rain from her warm, jasmine-scented skin.
He was hot, his cock near to bursting, but he continued with his assault. When at last his finger entered her, her muscles clenched him tightly. Alex gritted his teeth as his cock twitched.
Her head thrashed about. “Alex! Oh, God. I cannot bear it.”
“Aye, you can. And so much more.” He added a second finger, expanding her, stimulating her flesh.
In and out, his hand pumped between her thighs. With his other hand he cupped her breast, massaging, stroking, teasing, then he dipped his head and closed his mouth over her nipple, the wet wool no barrier to his smoldering lips. He sucked the rigid peak into his mouth and ground his palm against her mound at the same time. The honey-drenched walls of her sheath contracted around his fingers.
He stared down at her in awe and watched as her eyes flew wide, shining brightly. Kat screamed, arching into his hand, her breathless moan shivering across his ear. She shook and trembled, her release beautiful to behold, until she collapsed in his arms. He held her for a long time while she came back to herself, savoring her closeness, pleasure rushing through him that he could please his woman.
At the same time he breathed deeply in and out, willing his arousal to subside. His own denied pleasure was a torment he must bear for the nonce.
Then she pulled back, stiffening in his arms. “Oh, God. What did you do to me?”
He ignored her accusing glare and gently brushed a tendril of hair off her flushed face. “No more than what you wanted.”
“Nay. I wanted none of this. No amount of pleasure will ever make up for your betrayal.”
“This…feeling…we have for each other, ’tis more than lust and you know it. You can feel it, too. Do not deny it.” He touched her heart. “We have a history together, a connection that is undeniable and if we are ever to go on with our lives, we owe it to ourselves to explore and discover whatever it is.”
When she would have responded, he pressed his lips to hers. He pulled back and straightening the circlet on her forehead, said, “Say naught yet. All I ask is that you think about what I’ve said.”
Although he never knew how he did it, he pushed away from Kat, his cock throbbing painfully. He moved to the cupboard to hunt for drying cloths, leaving a trail of water on the floor behind him.
“Did you enjoy your ride with Alex today?”
“Huh?” Kat asked, startled.
Later that afternoon in Queen Eleanor’s chambers, the ladies of the court chatted and entertained themselves, waiting for the men to join them before supper. Kat sat with Rose in an alcove, playing a spirited game of Alquerque.
“How did your outing with Alex go?”
Not immediately answering the question, Kat concentrated on her next move, although her thoughts were fractured. The early afternoon spring shower that had come upon her and Alex had ended as suddenly as it began. They left the hunting lodge soon after it stopped and returned to court, but she could not stop thinking about what he had said in the lodge. His impassioned words had struck a chord.
She felt herself wavering, the ripples of her undoing a warm imprint on her sensitized skin. Still.
Kat finally made her move, jumping over two of Rose’s black pieces. “We went riding and stopped to have dinner by a pond. When a shower came up we returned to court.” With a nonchalant shrug she added, “’Twas rather uneventful, actually.”
The lie to her friend felt sour on her tongue, but there were some truths better left denied.
Even so, Rose looked at her, doubt evident on her face. “I really believe Alex has changed, Kat. Do you not think it is time to give him and your marriage a second chance?”
Kat smiled dryly. “He’s your brother. Of course, you believe him. I, on the other hand, cannot find it in my heart to trust him.”
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Rose looked up from the game, her eyes reproachful. “Aye, he is my brother. But you are my dearest friend and I would say or do naught that would bring you unhappiness.”
“Aye, not knowingly. But I would think you of all people would understand my distrust?”
Rose frowned, her light blue eyes darkening with pained memories. “Our situations are completely different, Kat. Alex may have been young and foolish, but he was never cruel. You cannot know what vile acts some men are capable of, or you would never compare Alex to Bertram.”
Although Rose never spoke about her brief marriage, Kat had known her friend had been terribly unhappy in her union. But this was the first time she had mentioned Bertram had a cruel streak. She could not imagine what Rose had endured at his hands.
Kat reached across the game board and grabbed her hand, sorely contrite. “You are right. Forgive me, Rose. I should not have brought up unpleasant memories, ’twas thoughtless of me. I’m sorry.”
Rose smiled to reveal no harm had been done. “You know I only wish the best for you. You cannot deny, though, that you and Alex have always had this strange and amazing connection. ’Tis as though you are both made of steel, forever clashing and striking sparks off one another whenever you meet. You owe it to yourself to discover the cause and explore whatever underlying feelings you have for each other. If you do not, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
Rose’s words eerily echoed Alex’s, and Kat could not help wondering. Is it possible that Alex has true feelings for me? Should she give him a chance to see where this odd courtship led? Who was she fooling? She had already decided to truly give him the opportunity to prove he wanted a marriage with her based on mutual respect and trust.
What of love, though? Alex claimed to care for her deeply, but Kat would not settle for anything less than love. And what of her feelings for Alex? It was just one of a plethora of issues yet to be resolved. She would give Alex a chance to win her, to prove his desire to have a committed, loving marriage; meanwhile, she needed to explore her own chaotic feelings for Alex.
Still, trust was the key. Her faith in Alex had been destroyed the day he deserted her. And although he returned a wiser man, no doubt due to his horrific experiences in captivity, could she ever trust him again?
Only the coming weeks would reveal the answer to all her questions, but some feeling, warm and soft and expectant, began to creep into her heart. She was startled when she finally recognized the budding, long-dead emotion.
Hope.
Chapter 13
Guilt.
The debilitating emotion roiling around inside Alex since yesterday, making him unable to sleep or concentrate was definitely guilt. His secret search for the traitor was tearing him apart. He could not help feeling that hiding the truth from Kat was going to be the worst mistake of his seven and twenty years. Rather, his second worst mistake. But there was no help for it. To tell her about the assassin and put her in danger was something he refused to do.
“You are awfully quiet this morn, Alex. Kat got your tongue?” Rand, who stood beside him in the crowded reception hall, quipped.
The guards at the entry announced the entrance of yet another lord, one of many returning to court before the opening of Parliament on the morrow. Alex looked at Rand. His smile crooked, he said, “Aye, I suppose that is one way to describe my predicament.”
Rand chuckled. “I do not envy you, my friend. Indeed, you are lucky Kat has not ripped out your innards and fed them to the pigs.”
She still might when Alex discovered the traitor and the truth came out. After the recent disturbing events, he thought it time to let Rand in on his search, but he had been unable to talk to him alone and away from prying ears at court. Alex wanted someone he could trust to protect Kat when he was unable to. Who better to do so than her own cousin?
Alex looked across the room again, his gaze resting on Kat. She stood with Rose and several other ladies-in-waiting near the queen. She looked delectable in an amber silk tunic and a jeweled snood over her plaited hair. An intricate brooch clasped her bodice closed and her full sleeves tapered down to tight cuffs at her wrists, which were embroidered with green leaves.
She must have felt his stare, because she raised her eyes and unerringly met his gaze. A quiver rippled over his flesh, the attraction instantaneous. Her light eyes flared, glowing with warmth, and sent blood pumping from his heart to his lower extremities in a mad rush. He grew light-headed.
He knew she felt the jolt, too, he saw it in her eyes. But it was more than just lust seizing him. He wanted more from Kat. Wanted to possess her love and admiration and respect, but most of all he wanted her forgiveness. All this he tried to convey with his eyes, then another arrival was announced, breaking the spell. Kat, eyes shocked, glanced at the reception doors. Curious as to her reaction, Alex followed the direction of her gaze.
Alex’s mouth dropped open. The crowd around him receded, for there, walking down the center aisle towards the king and queen was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And one he never thought to see again. Short, petite, and blond, she exuded an angelic grace rarely found. Her hair was uncovered, the golden waves rippling down her back shimmering like liquid gold, contrasting vividly with the black silk surcoate she wore.
He could not take his eyes off her.
Curtseying to the royal pair, the woman smiled, her expression somehow sweet and sad at the same time.
The king motioned for her to rise. “We bid you welcome and condolences upon the death of your husband.”
Alex jerked in surprise. But he supposed he should not be shocked. Lydia’s husband was ancient when she married him eight years ago. It also explained her mourning dress.
“I thank you, Sire,” she said, surreptitiously wiping something from her eye. A tear. His heart contracted. Lydia must have come to love her husband in the intervening years since she begged Alex to marry her. “He was a good man and I miss him terribly,” she said, confirming his thoughts as he watched her exquisite, sculpted lips move.
Then without warning, his heart began to beat out of control as an inexplicable emotion began to take hold in his chest. Bewildered, he tried to concentrate and capture the essence of the feeling bombarding him. Why do I feel this deep sense of loss and regret? Alex wondered. When the reason finally dawned on him, astonished disbelief sucked the air from his lungs.
Lord, I have been such a fool, Alex thought.
“’Tis a fine sentiment. But a woman so young and beautiful as you should not remain widowed for long.” The king chuckled. “In fact, I am sure there are many gentlemen here today who count you a worthy prize. Eleanor and I welcome your presence at court.”
Rand punched his arm. “You may stop gawking like a boy in the throes of his first love.”
For the second time that day, Alex was stunned. What, exactly, had Rand read on his face?
Dismissed, Lady Lydia curtsied and disappeared into the crowd.
“I hope you are not going to let that woman make a fool of you again. She has an uncanny knack of arriving at the wrong time.”
Kat. Alex turned to her again. She was watching him, her gaze cold. There was no warmth, no smile, no expression. In deliberate rejection, she turned to speak to Rose.
What have I done? Alex wondered desperately. Then he left Rand leaning against the wall and headed for Kat, unsure of the damage he had wrought.
Next to Kat, Rose squeezed her hand, her voice soft. “Prithee, Kat, do not rush to judgment. Alex was very young when Lydia sank her claws into him. That woman is a menace who is clever at hiding her vile nature. Alex will soon see through her disguise.”
So Rose had seen all, too. Kat could not say what she felt. Too many emotions clambered inside her, confusing her, numbing her.
But it was not difficult to tell what Alex thought. He had stared at Lydia in fascination, as though she were an angel come down from heaven to grace mere mortals with her goodness. Obviously, he still loved h
er. Was still awed by her beauty and fragile, ladylike demeanor. She was everything Kat would never be.
And now the woman he loved was free to marry.
Hope. It drained from her like blood from a lethal sword thrust to the heart. She shivered, rubbing her arms. She was cold, so cold. How gullible, how stupid she had been to even dare to hope. She thought she had learned her lesson not to trust Alex, but it seemed her heart had not. At least she had discovered the truth before her feelings for Alex deepened beyond repair. But why, oh why did that statement ring false in her ears?
Damn you, Alex.
Then Rose’s eyes flashed with dark emotion as someone nudged Kat’s arm. Sidling up beside her, Sir Stephen had returned like a persistent sickness she could not shake, no doubt intending to infect them with his vitriolic poison.
“I do believe this parliamentary session will be quite entertaining. With the arrival of the lovely Lady Lydia at court, I am so looking forward to watching events unfold.”
“What do you know of Lady Lydia?” Kat said sharply.
He answered in a roundabout way, his voice sly and smug. “Indeed, this reminds me of the time when Lady Lydia made her first appearance at court. If I remember aright, she made quite an impression on the young men at court. And of them all, Sir Alex was her most ardent and devoted suitor.”
Ardent sapskull, Kat countered. Aye, she remembered it well, too. At ten and three, Kat had been excited to receive an invitation to attend court during the Christmas festivities that year. It was when King Henry was alive and still ruled. Kat’s father had even had a village seamstress make up an appropriate wardrobe for the trip. She had never worn tunic dresses before in her life, preferring instead the more comfortable attire of boys’ tunics and hose but, hoping to impress Alex, she had been exceedingly grateful.
It made not a wit of difference when compared to the sophisticated Lady Lydia St. John. Alex was smitten at first sight. And Kat fell far short no matter the comparison. Where Lydia was fair and beautiful, Kat was dark and plain. Where Lydia was curvaceous and mature, Kat was tall, gawky, and had no breasts of which to speak. Lydia was shy and coy and demure and flirtatious all at once. Kat was bold, brash, outspoken, with not a flirtatious bone in her body.
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