by Jas T. Ward
“It was not my fault! You had gotten me that little puppy and I didn’t realize I had poured bleach instead of soap!” She then playfully punched Jess’ arm and gave Reno a glance where he sat with Sophia on the other side of the table.
Emma’s smile was easy and Reno felt a slice of jealously that it wasn’t him that made it happen. It sliced even deeper when Jess put his arm around Witch’s shoulders and let his fingers make lazy circles on her upper arm.
Sophia was happily eating spaghetti as Reno thought they had the oddest family meal out that he had never imagined. Not that he had a lot of experience with those, but there was no way this was the norm, not even on Springer.
Jess, the man whose head he used to just be a split personality in, sitting with the woman he now had basically moved in with, who was the mother of Jess’ child that Jess couldn’t claim. A woman who thought Jess was the lover she had years ago, who also had no idea that that lover was really him that sat there watching her laugh with the man who didn’t know he used to be the split personality that used to live in his head. Wait... that was even confusing to Reno.
He sat back with an arm draped on the back of the booth, sighing as he focused back on his food, fingers idly playing with one of Sophia’s curls that tickled the back of his hand. The little girl was just happy to be out and about and seemed just as sucked in by Jess’ charm as Emma was. But that was how Jess had always been.
Reno twisted up his lips and had to bite his tongue to not mimic mocking Jess’ slow southern drawl. Even their waitress lingered at their table, staring at the cowboy and smiling as she checked their drinks and gathered their empty dishes.
Blah blah, southern this, blah blah.
At least he didn’t have the all-powerful Stetson to make the women swoon, because that might have tipped his ‘Oh-Come-On!’ meter towards the guy.
“So, how long you two been together?”
Reno looked up to see that Jess had actually acknowledged that he was there too and glanced over at Emma. “Uh.” Reno had to be careful as he almost blurted out in frustration—before you even were together asshole. He gave Jess a smile to cover and shrugged. “A few months but it’s felt like years. Very good years.”
“Except he kept us locked up in his damn head to keep us from having those good years. Stab him with the fork. Please do it. It’ll make my year.”
Emma smiled and Reno felt a moment of triumph when she reached out and took his hand across the table at what he said. Score that smile to the Candy side. Jess narrowed his eyes and gave a small flash of fang towards Reno before bringing the cloth napkin up to wipe the corner of his lips, covering the sneer there.
Oh yeah, Jess still had it bad for Emma, and for some reason that gave him pleasure, so Reno lifted Witch’s hand to his lips and kissed her wrist, meeting Jess eyes as he did.
Jess could have launched himself across the table at that exact moment, but instead he just wadded that cloth up in his fist so hard his knuckles blanched to white. This Breaker. This stranger in his family’s life was intentionally trying to push his buttons that was for damn sure.
As Jess watched Reno, he couldn’t help but feel like they have had a run-in before. And judging by his hackles rising when the man walked into the house earlier, he wanted to know when and how.
“So Reno, have we ever met?”
There it was. A split second spark of something in the man’s blue eyes before it was shut down; a simple expansion of the black of the pupil eating into the blue of it before shrinking back down to normal. Reno was hiding something, and that something was hunkered down, hiding behind the nerve Jess had just struck.
Jess leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table as the waitress cleared the rest of the meal; he wrapped his fingers around his fist and rested his whiskered chin on them to glare at Reno. “I swear on my mama’s Bible you seem real familiar.”
Reno flustered for a split second, then sat back to clear his throat, before grabbing the glass of soda and shrugging as he took a drink. He looked to the left of Jess to then let his eyes drift right over the glass. “I don’t think so.” Reno flashed a smile that didn’t even come within a mile of his eyes. “I’ve heard of you though.”
Jess smiled. Of course he had. The entire Grid had. He was one of Bounce’s enforcers and that was not something that was taken lightly. It was his job, along with an elite group of Wires trained to follow every barked order their Cowboy leader gave them, to hunt down rogues or troublemakers.
What people didn’t know is how Jess got the job. And how important it was to keep it; two reasons were sitting at this very table, completely unaware of the price he had to pay in doing it. It was something he planned on taking to his proverbial grave.
Reno smirked at Jess’ smug smile. He had so many things to say, curious to see if he could rip a bit more at Jess’ pain when Sophia tugged on his shirt. “Eno?”
Reno looked down and gave her a soft smile. “Yeah, Rugrat?”
She whispered softly. “I needs potty.”
Reno nodded and stood up for her to climb past him on the booth seat to go over to Witch. Emma smiled at them both as she stood as well. “We’ll be right back.”
Still standing, he watched the two of them head to the bathroom before sitting down only to find himself eye to eye with Jess. All pleasantries gone in that locked stare as the man all but accused him with unspoken venom. “So, you know about me. I don’t know jack about you son, so spill it.”
No way was Reno backing down as he leaned forward to give a predator rumble right back. This had been far too long in coming for his logical side to even quip in. “Not much to know. And why do you care?”
Jess curled his lip and this time didn’t even bother covering the fangs when he did. “Easy. Those two mean more to me than you can even begin to know.”
Oh, that was so rich it was priceless to Reno. He still remembered the night almost four years ago when he had snuck into Emma’s house, while still hosted inside of Jess’ head sharing a body.
He hadn’t been allowed images of her through the cowboy’s eyes in months and just wanted to see her. She had caught him when she woke up and all but tried to kick his ass for hurting her, for breaking her heart. That very incident had been the pivotal moment when Reno stopped helping Jess and their relationship went nose-diving into the total insanity that caused them to be separated. He, unlike any other, knew exactly what Emma and Sophia meant to Jess. And how much the cowboy had hurt Witch.
“Don’t know. Don’t care. I’m here now. Uh,” looked skyward mockingly and tapped fingers on his chin as his eyes came back down to pin with Jess’ dark, deadly ones, “where exactly have you been for three years now? I guess I forgot? Oh yeah,” he snapped his fingers, “gone, after you abandoned Emma for getting pregnant.”
Jess was out of the booth fast, before Reno could even mate a note to himself that was stupid; the cowboy grabbed him up to slam against the wall. The restaurant patrons around them gasped and forks clattered to plates as they all turned to watch the show.
Reno hissed as the wall hit his back so hard he literally saw streaks in his vision. He met Jess’ dark eyes, and wrapped his hands around Jess’ wrists as the man’s fingers fisted his shirt. “What’s wrong, Jess? Did I say something wrong?”
Jess lip curled with a snarl as his dislike for this man sky-rocketed to out and out hate.
Why Jess had left was known only by Bounce, him and what they let Emma believe. They had discussed what she would tell, and as much as he hated that everyone thought he couldn’t satisfy his woman so she cheated on him and then got pregnant, he let it be.
It was a believable story even if no one dared talk about it around him. It had tainted both of their reputations and killed a big chunk of his heart. He thought of the woman he loved and their child every day. Had gone as far to have tabs kept on them, but none of his resources had let him know about her being in this new relationship. He’d make sure to take a pound of hide f
rom his informants for that. Sure, he knew that part of it was most likely based in fear from his wrath, but that didn’t excuse it.
When Jess had gotten the call from Bounce asking him to come to San Francisco, after all this time had passed, he had been surprised. He still wasn’t sure why the god had asked him here. Bounce acted like Jess had missed a text or message between here and New Mexico saying never mind. Sure... Bounce made mistakes like that.
Never.
So Jess had decided to use this now rare free time to check on Emma and Sophia; something he had wanted to do in person after only doing the briefest calls every few months. He missed them so much that it was like there was a gnawing acid filled hole in his chest when he looked at photos of Emma and his secret daughter whenever Emma posted them online.
So, he had thought to surprise her and his baby girl but the surprise was on him when she let him know her boyfriend would be home shortly, which was followed by her almost pleading for him to either go or behave.
Jess hated walking into any situation unprepared and not knowing what he was stepping into. It was residual from his gun slinging days and something he still lived by today. Part of him was angry. The other half more jealous than a three legged dog at a greyhound track.
Now to find out that boyfriend was a Breaker? The one thing Emma knew better than to get all tangled up with?
Not only was that man a Breaker, but as Jess scraped his disgusted look over Reno, a short one and a small one with an attitude that was going to get him gutted. Quick.
Reno searched Jess’ face in the minute he was pinned and knew that his once other half’s sharp mind was going a mile a second to analyze to then quickly act on the results.
He saw pain flash in those dark brown eyes followed by rage and finally jealously.
Sure, Reno got why the man had walked away and knew it made Jess as honorable as Hell. Why would this be any different? Jess had always been the hero and always did the right thing.
Except when it had come to Reno.
“Gut him. Let me out, I’ll do it. Please. I’ll stay locked away for a million years and love it if you let me. I’ll even stop stabbing your sinuses.”
He almost agreed to let Sundown act on what his dark side wanted to do to Jess, and would have had not Emma and Sophia been close. And for that reason alone, he should have stepped away and not goaded Jess on. But he had too many years of resentment and hate coated over his emotions to even begin to back all that down. Reno saw that he had stuck a painful spot in Jess’ big, bad façade that he couldn’t stop himself from digging into it and cracking it more.
“Don’t worry. I take really good care of Emma. Sophia too.” He smiled and yanked Jess’ grip away as he stepped up close to provoke. “You don’t even come up. At all. Not in convos. Not in our lives. And definitely not while Emma’s in our bed screaming my name.”
Reno always knew he wasn’t smart, and as that huge fist came crashing towards his jaw, causing his head to snap to the side with a crack when it struck, he knew he was being pretty stupid.
But he just couldn’t help it. It was a habit.
His vision flipped to red and he shoved Jess away, causing the once just observing patrons now to yell and scatter out of the way of the two angry men as they faced off.
“Reno! Jess!”
Both were in full attack-mode, seething with aggression as they sized up the other when both their heads snapped over to see Emma standing there with Sophia. The little girl’s face was buried against her mother’s leg as if she was scared. And why wouldn’t she be?
Reno’s vision cleared and his anger hissed away as he started towards them. But Jess was already in motion and shoved him away to kneel in front of Sophia. “I’m sorry baby girl, we were just talkin’.”
Sophia whimpered and looked past Jess to hold her arms out to Reno, who then scooped her up so she could wrap around him as he tucked her head under his chin. Giving Jess a smug look, Reno said softly to Witch. “I’ll take her to the car. Meet you there?”
He searched her green eyes to see just how much trouble he was in. Yeah, a lot. A lot a lot. But he was thinking Jess might be in a little bit more, or so Reno hoped.
Giving a nod that he got it, Reno turned and oops, accidentally shoved Jess with his shoulder as he passed then carrying Rugrat out of the place.
Jess squeezed his eyes tight, locking his molars to grind his fangs after he watched Sophia plead with Reno to comfort her.
Not him. Not her father.
Okay, Sophia had no idea he was her daddy, but that didn’t stop it from hurting, nonetheless.
Opening his eyes despite the painful twisting in his heart, he met the accusing look of Emma, which caused it to twist even more.
“What the Hell, Jess?”
He had nothing, even as his mind was turning over the events as they went sour, and he knew it should have been a real simple question to answer. An answer he couldn’t give her no matter how true it might be.
What the Hell? ...
The Hell was loving a woman, knowing they had a child, and not being able to be with them. The Hell was going to bed at night looking at an old baby picture of a child you couldn’t call your own. The Hell was knowing another man, one not worthy in his mind of the right, was taking all the things he wasn’t able to have. Not able to claim. Could he tell Emma any of that?
No. Because it was quite clear even to his fool brain that Emma had more than moved on.
Rubbing his hands over his face, he dropped them to look down at Emma. Sweet wonderful Emma, who never got mad, looked absolutely furious now.
Jess sighed and pointed to the path of the door where Reno had exited with Sophia. “He pushed my buttons, Em. Big time and I don’t like him.”
Emma couldn’t believe what she had seen when they had come out of the bathroom. Not only had Sophia been scared at the two men she thought of as family facing off like two fighting dogs, but all the customers in their favorite family restaurant were watching it like it was some weird dinner show.
Sure, she knew that all this had to be hard on Jess, but tough, because he chose that hardship when he walked out on her over three years ago. Leaving her because she was pregnant and he didn’t want that much commitment in his life from someone he wasn’t destined to be fused with for all time.
Emma was also well aware that Jess wasn’t a pacifist; it used to be one of the things she found so attractive sexually about him. Jess was a charming predator with a handsomely rugged face with an appetite just waiting to devour. And oh how she used to love being his meal.
But that was years ago, and now she wanted them to just get to some ground that was not full of potholes of the past for them to fall into.
Reno, on the other hand, confused her more as she had never seen him like that. He had all but been raging, muscles coiled for attack as if they were in a dark alley fighting Eaters rather than a fellow Breaker he had just met.
She had never seen that side of the man she loved. Reno was always so easy going, always smiling, along with sweet and kind of goofy. Not like a chained dog ready for a fight.
Emma narrowed her eyes at Jess and stabbed her fingertip against his chest. “He pushed your buttons? Seriously? What did you do, Jess? I’ve never seen him that way. And here? In public? In front of my little girl?”
Jess jerked at her using the word “my” instead of “our”, but he guessed that wasn’t too surprising. He opened his mouth to protest, but to be honest he wasn’t exactly sure what buttons Reno had pushed. Just that for some reason Jess did not understand, the man set him off. And Jess was usually cool and calm even in heated exchanges. Something was wrong here and setting off all kinds of internal alarms; Jess just didn’t know how to get her to see it. He leaned in to wrap a hand around Emma’s upper arm, and said low, as he gave her a firm yet pleading look in hopes to sway her to team Jess and understand.
“Just what do you know about the man, darlin? Anything? I don’t want him arou
nd you or Sophia. Not until we know more.”
Emma yanked her arm out of his grasp, in both anger and indignation, to pin him with a look that would shrivel a lesser man’s balls to raisin size.
“You are unbelievable, Jess.” She grabbed the front of his shirt to yank him down to meet her eyes, not caring who saw it. Not caring if she hurt him or not. “You want to know what Reno is? Here it is. He’s someone I love. He’s someone that loves me back. He’s someone that doesn’t make me feel like I’m not the one. And mostly?...”
She let him go and spoke slowly to make sure each word hurt him as much as he had once been able to hurt her.
“The one thing I know, without a doubt? Is he’s not someone that will just walk away and leave me like you did.”
She then turned to grab Sophia’s bag and jacket before walking out the door to join her family. Leaving Jess just like he was before.
Alone.
Jess pulled out his cell phone and dialed as he walked out of the place, after throwing more than $200 to appease the owner, to growl into it as he walked.
“I want everything. Everything. You can get on a Breaker by the name of Reno. Set up here in San Francisco.”
He paused and hissed into the phone silencing the protest on the other end. “Should you really worry about getting clearance from Bounce to get me a god-damned background check after you failed to do the one thing I asked you for when it came to Emma?”
There was silence and he went back to his prowling pissed walk to his car.
“Last name. No idea. Find out. Yesterday.”
Chapter Twenty
Awakening
Epsilon had not always been this way. No. At one time he had a life that held a wife and their beautiful child. The respect of his father, which considering who his father was, was a great achievement in and of itself. The only son deemed as worthy enough to be claimed by an extreme dark god. Epsilon’s mother was never spoken of or told to him. All he knew was that she was a goddess who handed her newborn son over to be raised by Lucifer and did not look back.
