by Amelia Grey
“They are called primal urges.”
“Yes, that’s it, and if you will think me a wanton beast tomorrow morning for wanting these feelings, so be it.”
“Louisa, you are sitting astraddle my lap, and my hands are on your breasts—I am aching for you. This is not the time to keep making me laugh with your clever words. You must know that there will be no going back if we finish what we have started here.”
She kissed him before looking into his eyes. “I understand, Your Grace.”
He brushed her hair to the back of her shoulder. “My name is Bray. From here on, you must call me by my name and not my title.”
“I understand, Bray,” she said, and slid the other side of her night rail and robe off her shoulder and down her arm, letting the garments pool around her waist.
His gaze feasted upon her for a few seconds. “I knew your breasts would be beautiful,” he said in a husky voice. “Look how the light from the corridor is shining on them. Look how beautiful you are.”
Louisa looked down and watched his fingertips glide from the swell of one breast to the other. The lace from the cuff of his sleeve tickled softly across her bare skin. He palmed both breasts and lightly squeezed them. He kissed one and then the other, filling her with a longing for something more.
He lowered his head and caught the rosy tip of one breast into his mouth again. With his tongue he sampled her heated skin over and over again, and she delighted in every touch and each new and building sensation.
“I want to feel your body, too, Bray.” She reached under his waistcoat and started pulling the tail of his shirt from the waistband of his trousers. She wanted to know what his skin felt like.
He stilled her hands. “I wish we could, but there is no time for me to undress tonight. We must make do. Help me unbutton my trousers and slide them down my hips.”
With frantic movements of hands working together, his trousers were unfastened and her gown was shoved up. Bray dragged his cloak underneath her as he gently laid her on top of it and stretched his warm body over her. A tremor of anticipation shivered through her. Bray rose on his elbows and looked into her eyes for a long moment before his gaze drifted down her face, lingered over her breasts, before sweeping back up to her eyes again.
“You need not worry,” she whispered. “I have no hesitation.”
“I have plenty for both of us, but I won’t let it stop me. I will be gentle with you.”
“I know.”
He bent down and seared his lips to hers. His lips were moist, hot, and demanding as he kissed her deeply, roughly, crushing his body upon hers. His intensity should have frightened her, but instead it thrilled her. His hands tangled in her hair. Their lips and tongues clung together as passion flamed between them.
With his knees, he opened her legs and then pushed inside her. She gasped from the shock, but he swallowed her sounds. His kisses changed from desperate to slow and sensuous. With one hand he found the warm spot between her legs, and he stroked and fondled her as his body moved up and down.
He made love to her with gentleness that overwhelmed her. His movements were leisurely, sensual, and reverent. He kissed her, caressed her, and moved on top of her until she felt an indescribable pleasure rise up inside her. Louisa lifted her hips and moved with him until waves of explosive sensations tore through her. She cupped his body to her as those languid, heavenly ripples ebbed. She heard Bray’s breath quicken, felt him tremble. His body shuddered, and he softly said her name.
She whispered his name, too, before collapsing back down onto the settee with no breath left in her lungs, no strength in her muscles. He lay still and heavy upon her with his face buried in the crook of her neck.
They stayed that way only for a few moments before Bray lifted himself onto his elbows and asked, “Are you all right?”
She smiled and softly answered, “Yes. I didn’t really know what to expect, but my imagination didn’t do it justice. That was quite impressive.”
He grinned and kissed her tenderly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
He rose and helped her to rise. He then turned his back and started adjusting his clothing, and Louisa did the same.
“Don’t you have something you wanted to ask me?” he said when he turned back to face her.
Louisa was tying the ribbons of her gown, and her fingers stilled. Did she? Maybe she was supposed to ask him if she’d satisfied him. “Did I measure up to your expectations?”
He frowned. “Of course, Louisa, that goes without saying. Why would you ask me that?”
“You said I was supposed to have a question for you.”
“Not that. Hellfire, couldn’t you tell that you satisfied me greatly, completely?”
Annoyed that he was annoyed, she said, “I thought so, but I couldn’t be sure, so it’s nice to hear you say it.”
“Fine, I’ll remember that in the future and always tell you. Now, don’t you have something else to ask me?”
Louisa thought and stared at him. “Am I supposed to ask if we can we do it again sometime?”
His eyes narrowed and his lips tightened. “What?” he asked in an exasperated voice.
Something told her that wasn’t the correct question either. “I really don’t know what I’m supposed to ask you after what we just did, Your Grace. Couldn’t you tell this was my first time?”
“It’s Bray, Louisa. My name is Bray, not Your Grace, and of course I knew it was your first time.”
“Then why are you irritated that I don’t know all the rules yet?”
“There are no certain rules.” He stopped and ran his hand through his hair. “You will drive me to madness. You are supposed to ask me to marry you now that I’ve taken your virtue from you.”
Confused, she asked, “You should have told me that before we—we did it.”
“I did. We discussed this. Now, granted, we were in the throes of passion at the time, but you told me you understood. In fact, you told me twice that you understood the meaning of what we were doing.”
“I did. I do. It meant I am no longer a virgin, but I never said I’d ask you to marry me.”
“That’s what I meant when I asked you if you understood.”
“Well, you didn’t make yourself clear.”
“Could you at least act a little more worried about this?”
“There is nothing to be concerned about. It happened and it’s over, and that’s all there is to it.”
“No, that isn’t all there is to it, Louisa. There is always the possibility of a child from our coming together.”
Merciful heavens!
That danger should have crossed her mind when he had his hands and lips all over her body but it hadn’t. All reasonable thought had deserted her.
She summoned an inner strength and said, “I will not borrow that kind of trouble and make myself go mad with worry over something that may not happen.”
“Then let’s settle it here and now.” He advanced on her and quietly said, “Ask me to marry you, Louisa.”
He seemed so serious. This was her chance to marry the man she loved. But what would it mean for her sisters if she married a man who knew only about the things that made him happy and nothing about what a real family life was like? She could handle the wild duke, but could he accept her sisters? He would not love her or help her care for her sisters. He could hardly bear to be around them.
“No, I will not,” she insisted, and pulled her robe together. “I don’t want to marry you. I think it’s time for you to go.”
“What just happened between us leaves you no choice.”
Louisa stood her ground. “I beg your pardon. I do have a choice, and my choice is no. I will not ask you to marry me, and I will not marry you if you should ask me again.”
“That won’t happen.”
“Good,” she said on a breathy sigh. “Now, please go before Gwen and Mrs. Colthrust return and find you here.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want that, wo
uld we? Mrs. Colthrust might try to insist that you marry me!” Bray jerked his cloak off the settee and slung it carelessly over his arm. Not even trying to be quiet, he stomped from the room and out the front door, shutting it soundly behind him.
Chapter 23
A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue.
—Love’s Labour’s Lost, act 2, scene 2
Louisa and Mrs. Colthrust sat in uncomfortable chairs and waited in the vestibule of the Court of Chancery building. She had asked to see either the Master of the Rolls or the Lord Chancellor but was told she must talk to a Chancery solicitor first. He would evaluate her petition and decide if it should be considered further by anyone else.
It had taken three days and a basketful of persuasion, but Louisa finally wore down Mrs. Colthrust’s reluctance and convinced the woman to go with her. Louisa had promised her that she wouldn’t have to speak but simply act as her chaperone, as she had for all the parties, teas, and balls they attended. She also promised that she would never breathe a word to her uncle that his sister-in-law had gone with her to the court.
Louisa was not unhappy that she had given her innocence to Bray a few nights ago. She wished with all her heart that somehow they could be together again, and that was what had her sitting here, waiting to find out what she needed to do to have the duke removed as their guardian.
She had to deny her own loving feelings for Bray and focus on her sisters. She couldn’t marry and give a husband and children of her own the attention they deserved until all her sisters were wed. She couldn’t leave them as her parents and brother had, and if she kept up her association with Bray, she feared she might give in to his charms again.
Bray had no tolerance for her younger sisters. It was best that they cut all ties with him—and the sooner, the better.
After more than an hour of waiting and listening to Mrs. Colthrust grumble, they were finally ushered into a small office to meet Mr. George Thurgood.
“Come in, come in,” said the short, heavyset man in a white curled wig jovially. “How are you lovely ladies doing today?”
“We are quite well, thank you, Mr. Thurgood,” Louisa replied, thankful the man wasn’t dour. He held out chairs for them and then walked around to his desk and eased his bulky frame into a squeaky leather chair.
He picked up his quill, readying it to dip in the ink and write on the vellum before him. His smiled and in a friendly voice said, “What can I do for you?”
“I had wanted to speak with the Master of the Rolls or the Lord Chancellor about having the guardianship of me and my sisters changed.”
He smiled again. “They are much too busy to see everyone who comes to court wanting their attention. I’m sure you can understand that. I’ll be happy to answer your questions if I can, and if not, I’ll take your information and speak to them about your concerns at a later date.”
She supposed that would have to do. “Thank you. My uncle, Lord Wayebury, signed the guardianship of me and my four sisters over to the Duke of Drakestone.”
His eyes lit with recognition. “Yes, yes. I thought I recognized your name. I remember when that happened. Quite frankly, we were all surprised Lord Wayebury wanted to do that, until he explained he was going out of the country on an extended holiday. And we were even more surprised when the duke didn’t protest his actions.”
“No one more than I. That is why I’m here. I would like to petition the court to have the duke removed and someone else appointed as our guardian.”
“What?” He laid the quill down and laced his chubby fingers together across his girth. “Surely you can’t be serious.”
“Of course I am.”
Mr. Thurgood looked from Louisa to Mrs. Colthrust. He then leaned back in his chair and laughed. “I don’t know what kind of trickery you are trying to come up with, Miss Prim, but I really don’t have time for this today. My schedule is hectic, and there are people with real problems to solve. So unless you have something important to discuss with me, I’m very busy.” He started to rise.
“Wait, Mr. Thurgood,” Louisa said, moving to the edge of her seat. “I assure you, this is not a trick of any sort. I don’t know how I could have given you that idea. The duke is not an acceptable guardian for us, and I have the right to ask the Lord Chancellor to remove him and appoint another in his place.”
“Yes, you have the right, but there must be strong reasons. What has the duke done? Has he harmed you or your sisters?” he asked, sitting back down again.
“No, of course not. Not in any physical way. I shouldn’t have to tell you of the duke’s reputation. You’ve probably been in London much longer than I have. He is not a good example for my sisters. Our father was a vicar, and my sisters are used to a kind and gentle man. The duke is not only known for his excessive gambling and debauchery, he is also impatient with my sisters, uses inappropriate language in front of them, and he even called them banshees.”
The corners of his mouth twitched with a smile. “Banshees?”
Louisa cleared her throat. “Let’s suffice it to say, we need a well-respected, kind, and older gentleman to be in charge of us. Not a young and careless duke.”
The man looked baffled and turned his attention to Mrs. Colthrust. “You’ve been quiet thus far, madam. What do you have to say about this accusation against the duke?”
“Ha! As little as possible,” Mrs. Colthrust said.
“Do you agree with her complaint?”
“Not at all.”
“Mrs. Colthrust, how can you say that?”
“Because it’s true and you know it. It’s foolish to have a duke removed as your guardian. Mr. Thurgood, I am Lord Wayebury’s sister-in-law, and I am here only because I am her chaperone. I have tried to tell her many times: No one tries to have their guardian dismissed if he is a duke—and a handsome one, at that.”
“I’m afraid I have to agree with Mrs. Colthrust,” he said.
Louisa lifted her shoulders and straightened her back, and remained calm. She smiled pleasantly and said, “Mr. Thurgood, I don’t want to seem unfair about any of this, so would you please be so kind as to write down my information and ask the Lord Chancellor to speak with me about this?”
He rose. “I will be sure to speak to the Lord Chancellor about this for you, Miss Prim.” Mr. Thurgood walked from around his desk and over to the door and opened it. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Miss Prim, I have others waiting for my time.”
Louisa held her head high, though her heart was aching as she and Mrs. Colthrust walked out of his office.
“I do hope you can now forget this silly notion of having your guardianship changed, Louisa,” Mrs. Colthrust said as they stepped out onto the pavement. “You are the only one unhappy with the duke. The other girls seem to tolerate mention of him with no problem whatsoever. In fact, they quite enjoyed their day in the park with him. I’m beginning to believe the reason you want to have him removed has nothing to do with your sisters but lies solely with you. And I don’t think it has anything to do with his reputation. I think it has to do with your heart.”
Louisa remained silent and kept walking.
Chapter 24
… my heart dances;
But not for joy; not joy.
—The Winter’s Tale, act 1, scene 2
Bray’s stomach was twisted into a knot. A feeling he didn’t quite understand or know how to handle stirred inside him. He kept telling himself it couldn’t be jealousy.
He refused to let it be jealousy. He could have any woman he wanted. Why did he only want Louisa?
This was the third night in a row he’d come to the Great Hall and watched Louisa dancing with Lord Bitterhaven, and it was at least the eighth night they’d danced in the past two weeks. There could have been other times—probably were other times—that Bray didn’t know about. The thought of that man making inroads into her affections ate at Bray, making him want to walk over and yank the earl away from her.
Bray hadn’t tried to speak to L
ouisa since the night they spent together. She hadn’t tried to talk to him either. It had been almost three weeks since he went to her house and comforted her, held her, and made love to her. Many were the times he’d closed his eyes and remembered each whispered sigh, each caress. Thoughts of her beneath him again were killing him.
But his feelings were more than just being restless and missing Louisa. He missed the girls, too. He wanted to see if Bonnie’s teeth had started coming down. He wanted to know what Sybil was up to and if Lillian was still playing the pianoforte. Blast it all, he wanted to hear them squeal in laughter again.
A server passed by with a tray, and he grabbed a glass of red wine. When he turned back around, he saw that Lord Sanburne had walked up beside him. Bray was in no mood for the man’s idle prattle.
“Good evening, Your Grace.”
“Lord Sanburne,” Bray acknowledged dryly, and took a sip of the wine, but kept his gaze on the crowded ballroom below.
“We’re more than halfway through the Season, and no one has seen you dance with Miss Prim yet.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes, and quite frankly, we all find it extremely odd.”
“Do you?” he said, still not bothering to look at the pompous earl.
“Don’t you?”
“No. You’ve danced with her, haven’t you?”
“Y—yes,” Lord Sanburne said, stumbling over the word. “Many gentlemen have danced with her, as you well know. Someone needs to, given the fact that you haven’t. The question is, why haven’t you? No one has even seen you talk to her since the first night of the Season. And that was more than a month ago now.”
Bray knew exactly how long it had been, and he didn’t need reminders from this man. “Sanburne, your fascination with my life is beginning to worry me.”
“What? What do you mean? I don’t have fascination with your life. That’s an absurd accusation, and you know it.”
Bray took another drink from his glass and remained silent. The man didn’t know when to quit.
