He continued to smile as he removed an ivory stick pin from her chipped straw bonnet. “Be still,” he said as he removed the article and set it on the ground upon a crop of clover. “I have a surprise for you.” With barely a pause, he lifted a floral wreath of white and yellow daisies. An Li blinked away tears as he set it upon her head like a delicate crown.
“There,” he said. “Now you resemble the fairies who surely occupy this place.”
Moved beyond anything, she reached up to finger the delicate petals. “Pretty thing this. Thank you.”
“I confess that I have not done such a thing since I was a small boy, but I found that I had time on my hands while I waited. Now that I have your complete attention, I feel I must speak with you on a very important matter.”
An Li ached with love but along with that tender feeling was heartbreak. Terror shook her as she noted the intensity burning in his eyes.
His hand found hers and she stilled as he rubbed her palm with the pad of his thumb. “Surely, An Li, you realize how deeply run my feelings for you.”
“I believe you care for me.”
“Look at me, please,” he whispered. She forced her gaze to meet his, dreading this revelation with her whole heart. “I am a hard man, so hard that I never believed in anything remotely resembling love. You have changed everything. Your sweetness and compassion, even the simple touch of your hand brings me to my knees. I find that I cannot live without you, dearest. Please say that you will be my wife.”
Stricken, she opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger over her lips. “No, do not answer yet. I know how you feel, how you worry about the differences between us. We can go away. We can find a place without prejudice; I know we can!”
She shook her head, dying a little inside. “Such place does not exist. There is nowhere in this world where we would be accepted. Never will I be able to change the shape of my eyes or the color of my skin. You see beyond that and I and most grateful.”
“You are beautiful.”
“No. I am different. I am an outsider. I am also a woman with a terrible past. These are things that I cannot change. There will be no acceptance here for me and whether you wish it or no, there is no future life waiting for us. No matter how I love you or how I want you, there is no way to change what I am. Do you not see?”
“I only see the woman I love!” He gripped her shoulders, frustration clear on his face. “I want you. I must have you, my darling girl.”
She shook her head. “No. We can never be, Stephen, and you must accept. Today I met women who have suffered as I have and my place is with them. Since coming here, I have worried about my future and where I fit. I have found where I belong. They need my help.”
“But I need you. Do you not see?”
An Li found a smile in the midst of pain and reached up to touch his cheek. “I see everything. Better than you, my lord. Though you do me great honor, you must find your way to another who will make you happy for I cannot. I am sorry.”
Stephen recoiled and she easily recognized the pain in his eyes. It was a perfect match to the pain in her heart.
* * * * * * * *
Standing before the cheval mirror, Eliza gazed at the dress she wore for tonight’s ball honoring her marriage to Nicholas. She did not want to attend, but since her parents hosted the affair, there was no polite way to refuse. Hopefully, they would never know how empty her marriage had become.
Empty and hopeless. Much like herself.
The past two weeks had been an abomination, a drought of the heart from which she thought she might never recover. An Li had removed herself to Charlotte House and with her absence she felt she’d lost her one true friend.
Not long after An Li’s meeting with Stephen over a week ago, she’d asked to go to live at the haven she’d established. Something, Eliza knew, was dreadfully wrong with her, but An Li had remained silent. Despite protests from both Nicholas and herself, An Li was set on leaving them. Eliza wanted to learn what had happened, but she wasn’t in a position to offer advice considering the morass of her own life of late.
Nicholas avoided her as if she were diseased, and though she professed this to be her wish, it was all a dreadful lie.
Never, at least not since Lottie’s death, had she felt such grief. Vacant eyes stared at her reflection as she considered the mirror image. The beautiful peach gown did nothing to hide the circles caused by sleepless nights.
Tonight how was she to mask the sham her marriage had become? Hiding from the world so soon after being wed was not unusual for newlyweds, therefore, her parents had no inkling of the trouble between them. Now she and Nicholas must face polite society and pretend to a love match when they both knew their union was not. She had never been a hypocrite, so she dreaded the evening like one would dread having a tooth removed.
Surely he felt the same, although it was hard to know considering they’d spent barely ten minutes together since the altercation in his study. The moment of truth had been a bitter blow indeed.
She had never really believed that he might actually love her, but neither had she imagined his feelings would be so cold, so calculating. No, he’d used her to secure his own place in the world and, naturally, he’d wanted her to warm his bed.
I love him still.
The words echoed through her brain as she swung away from the mirror and walked to an open window. Leaning there, letting the evening air cool the heat in her face, she cursed herself for her stupidity.
Moron.
Idiot.
Fool.
“You are inordinately beautiful tonight, wife.” Nicholas stood in the doorway separating their two bedchambers and simply stared. Dear God in heaven, she was lovely. So lovely, yet so far away she might be on another continent.
Dressed in a clinging gown of softest peach, she was the epitome of a young bride. Yards upon yards of sheer iridescent fabric swirled about her limbs, teasing the eye with flashes of shiny silver and gold threads. The nearly-nothing bodice exposed creamy swells of ivory skin, and he felt his heart pump with the energy of a lightning storm. His loins burned and ached. He wanted to bury his face against her bosom and breathe in her sweet fragrance.
But no! He’d been an ass and ruined everything between them. A part of him wished that she had never learned the truth, but the smarter part of him simply wished he’d never lied to begin with. And not telling her the truth was the same as a lie.
“What do you want?” she coldly said.
“Only to admire you. Nothing more.”
“You have looked, sir. Now please leave, and I will meet you downstairs in a moment.”
He had had enough. The silence between them was a killing thing and with her standing there so cool and remote, his patience had come to an end. Long, determined strides brought him to stand before her. Despite her body stiffening, she made no move to walk away, so he placed his hand over hers. “We must talk, love.”
“I am not your love.”
“So you keep telling me,” he replied. “Come.”
Taking her hand, he led her to the chair at her dressing table and pressed her into it. With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes. He felt a sharp twinge in the vicinity of his heart. She looked so tired, as if she hadn’t slept in days. Ruefully, he shook his head. He was no different. The nights without her had turned long and dreary, paralyzing him with a fear that his life might continue in this nightmare. Sweet God, he missed her!
Standing behind her, he gently placed his hands upon her bare shoulders letting his fingers linger over the fragile skin of her collarbone. Rubbing slightly, he inhaled her fragrance and bent low to rub his cheek along the bright curls atop her head.
“What do you want?” she asked wearily. “Have you not done enough? Have you not tormented me already?”
His voice was low and husky. “How have I tormented you?”
“You know.”
“Do I?” His smoky gaze caught hers in the mirror. He caressed her jaw. “
Are you tormented from missing my touch, my hands on your body? If so, my sweet, I share the torment, believe me.”
A shiver took her, and he felt it reverberate through his body and beat a path to his gut. “I want you with every breath in my body. I cannot bear this distance.”
“You caused the distance, Nicholas. With your deceit and lies. If you lie in a lonely bed each night, you have only yourself to blame.”
He teased tiny circles along her slender throat. “And I do blame myself. This entire affair is my fault. Would that you would let me make amends.”
“It is too soon,” she said softly. “Please, let us just get this night over.”
Clearing his throat, Nicholas stepped back and reached into his chest pocket. Removing from it a long, black velvet box, he sat it before her and opened the lid.
Eliza’s tiny gasp went through him like a balm, and he smiled. “These belonged to my mother and now they belong to you, sweeting.”
The string of white and yellow diamonds were simply breathtaking. Small at the clasp, they alternated in color growing larger in size as they met in the center. Matching earrings set in shining gold lay nested within the stunning circle of jewels.
“I do not know what to say.”
“Say only that you shall wear them tonight and try, just a little, to think of me.”
The lone hackney sat unobtrusively beneath the shadow of a cluster of trees as Park waited for the Duke and Duchess to leave. The party in their honor would keep them occupied till dawn giving him more than enough time to enter the manse undetected and make his way to lady’s chamber. If she were as sentimental as most women, she would have the watch in her possession thus proving she was the ridiculous highwaymen who terrorized London’s noblemen and he, Park, would have the perfect means for blackmail and the ruination of his cousin.
It would not be long now.
Drawing deeply from the silver flask he kept in his coat pocket, he vowed he could already feel the stolen pocket watch in his hands and, with it, the means to blackmail, revenge and good fortune. He need only know if she had the item in her possession to prove she’d been the bandit who’d relieved the hapless Edward of his things.
Beatrice was the second part of his plan.
She was on a mission as well. Armed with a seductive smile and carrying a tiny bottle of poison in her reticule, she would visit the unsuspecting Edward in his rooms and hopefully seal the fates of them all. There would be no heir to inherit the Westerly title because there would simply be no mother to bear him and once Nicholas was also dispatched, the world would be his.
It was a complicated plot involving blackmail and murder but well worth the effort once all was attained.
Chapter Seventeen
Dawn would arrive soon, Eliza thought, as she stared out the windows of Nicholas’s handsome carriage. It was, it seemed, the blackest part of night in that hour of morning when streaks of soft gray would begin to blend with oncoming sun. If circumstances were different, she might close her eyes and submit to sleep, but she was emotionally charged from the stress of the past evening.
He lounged across from her, staring moodily out the window. His lips tightly compressed, his pale eyes flashing with anger. Upon entering the carriage for the return home, he’d removed his cravat. His queue had been relieved of the black ribbon binding it, and his jet hair hung loose to his shoulders.
In his anger, he looked a barbarian and so deadly handsome that it took every ounce of willpower she possessed to keep herself from flying into his arms. To prevent such an occurrence, she pinned him with her gaze. “You do not look pleased with yourself, husband.”
His slight smile was completely unpleasant. “Why should I be?”
“Throughout our night of pretense, you found every opportunity to touch me,” she said. “You knew very well that I could not say you nay or all would know that our marriage was a sham.”
“It is not a sham. Our marriage never has been, and you know it. You are very much my wife, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.”
“Try to convince yourself, Nicholas, but I know better. It became a farce from the first lie that left your mouth. Tonight, you used the presence of the crowd to touch me, to brush against my body every time we danced, which was quite often, as I recall.”
“You are an incomparable actress then, my dear.” He leaned forward, his nearness disconcerting. “With every shiver of your body, you let me know how my touch affected you. Do you now say that you were pretending only? That my hands upon you did not conjure memories of what we once shared?”
Eliza looked at his hand on her knee and trembled. His dark laughter filled the air as he reached up to draw the nearest window shade down. He looked at her and smiled tauntingly. She sensed his anger as his gaze raked her from head to toe. A palpable silence filled the confined space. He moved closer. Her pulse quickened.
“What do you think you are doing?” she gasped, backing herself far into the squabs. He ignored her as he drew the other shade and lowered the flame of a single gas lantern to leave only an intimate flicker of light. The carriage was no longer simply a conveyance. It became a cozy nest, a frightening cozy nest.
Her nerves were stretched taut as a bowstring. One touch from him would send her over the fine edge into insanity. “Please, do not. No, Nicholas.”
“Why, Eliza? Surely you are not worried that you might succumb to my charms? And here I thought you were impervious to my touch.”
“I am.”
He laughed and leaned closer. Her breath grew hurried, and the sound of it punctuated her distress.
“Liar,” he murmured. “You want me as I want you. Only a fool would deny it. Damn stubborn woman. You are mine and I have the marriage document to prove it.”
She felt herself losing ground. “You used me and lied to me. You’ve killed my affections for you.”
“Consider, love,” he said, his voice hoarse. “If you truly do not want me, then you will not succumb, will you?” With one quick move, with no warning at all, he knelt on the carriage floor and tossed her skirts about her waist.
“No!” she gasped, squirming back to escape his marauding hands. Grim determination settled across his features as he grasped her hips and pulled her to the edge of the carriage seat.
“Yes.” He made a rough sound and parted her thighs. The lacy drawers she wore proved no barrier as he reached for the discreet slit covering her femininity. He rent the frail fabric with one swift tug. “If I cannot win your love with words, then, by damned, I will win it through seduction. Enough is enough.”
He buried his face between her thighs and took her with the ferocity of his mouth. The sound of her cries filled the confines of carriage, and she knew she was lost. A red cloud of pleasure burst through her brain and lust consumed her completely. How could she deny herself such intensity of feeling?
His fingers expertly parted her folds then he plunged two of them into the secret depths of her body. Helpless now, she mewled, a soft whimpering sound of want and hunger. His answering growl told her that she’d proven his point. Yes, she wanted him. Desperately. Shame filled her.
“Nicholas. Please, no! Do not make me want you so.” She pleaded with him now and hated herself for it.
He stroked the interior of her body with a subtle, tantalizing touch.
“I must. I must have you now or die.” He whispered the words against her sensitive flesh. Touching his tongue to the tiny pearl of nerves he’d brought forth with his mouth, he took her ruthlessly, bringing her to the very edge of glory.
Lost in sensation, she watched him open the front of his trousers and his erection sprang free. Her body clenched in anticipation. Growling low, he drew her from the seat of the carriage and settled her atop him. Peach fabric, frothy like a delicate confection, settled around them as they knelt there in the churning carriage.
She sensed his impatience and recognized her own as he drove inside her, deep and hard. She cried out his name, helple
ss against a wealth of pleasure.
Shaking and quivering, she bucked against him. Needing his hardness, his length, she increased her movements until he gasped against her breasts. He drew her bodice down and took her nipple into his mouth.
Pleasure speared her as his suckling mouth brought forth small cries of passion. She needed more as her body reached for the pinnacle. He used his strong thigh muscles to propel him higher, deeper within her. She quivered until, with a loud gasp, she flew apart in his arms. His answering cry of completion shook the walls of the carriage as it bounced along toward home.
In tandem, they struggled to fill their lungs, breathing in the scent of sex, of leather. She lay against him; he’d won this skirmish. How victorious he must feel! How stupid she was! Shame and anger grew in equal measure.
Drawing back with a cry, Eliza stared into his eyes and covered her mouth with a hand that shook. “How could you? Do you live to humiliate me?”
His face turned to stone as he met her gaze then looked away. “I cannot bear the condemnation in your eyes. Forgive me. I am a complete and total cad.”
He fumbled with her bodice, barely managing to cover her bosom. She noted the trembling of his hands and fought a battle with her own emotions. Emotion won as her eyes filled.
“Stop, darling. Don’t cry,” he said. “I feel monster enough without seeing what I have done. Forgive me.”
She covered her face with her hand as he disjoined them and settled her back onto the squabs. With disgust, she felt him draw down her gown just as the carriage stopped before the front door. Her face felt hot. She quivered from the pleasure he’d given her. She felt empty from the loss of his touch.
Such an impossible situation! She watched him as a wealth of frustration covered her, making her question everything. He had fastened his trousers and was sprawled there upon his own seat, wearily scrubbing his face with his hands.
“I am sorry,” he finally said. Opening his eyes, those very fascinating eyes, he gazed at her.
Eliza wanted to dive into his warm arms and forget the world. But she could never forget his deceit. Had he ever cared for her? Probably not. Any woman would have served his purposes. Even in bed.
Silk and Scandal Page 21
