by O. Susmita
She lives in luxury, passes her time in style.
But, you can see, she is not happy much,
For which happy person would never, ever smile?
Then, one day, while giving charity in the street,
A little girl ran up to her and said,
“My little brother inside is crying for a sweet.
I know you can give me anything, but can you lend me a penny instead?
The little girl’s mother came up
Horrified at the child’s innocent impertinence.
But, the old lady didn’t mind and called up
Her maid to lend the penny as she wished thence.
While walking in the same street another time,
The lady met this girl once again, standing
In front of her with hands clasped so tight as to mime
The most grateful thanks, more valuable than any pretty thing.
“There were no pennies at home that day
As father had left to get the rations for us.
But, for you, I Thank you so very much!” with her bright smile never at a sway,
She returned the penny, her cheeks in a pink blush.
And so formed the unlikely friendship
Between the lady and the girl;
And it became a story over every lip
Of how she would make the lady’s lips curl.
Every time the girl sees the lady,
Her face lights up and she would smile.
The lady nods at her, but, later becomes gloomy
Thinking she could never return that very pretty smile.
Then, one day, the lady decided
To invite her young friend home.
The girl too jumped and accepted.
She thought heaven is wherever this lady is from.
She came dressed in a single garment of cotton,
Her curly strands tied up by a ribbon with lace.
Her bright eyes sparkled with excitement and from start on
To the very end, her smile never left her face!
The lady showed her lots of things and took her around,
Finally stopping to ask, “So, what do you think, honey?”
The girl replied, “The house could do with some happy air and laughing sound;
And you are dressed up in so many clothes, I think it’s funny!”
The servants around stared in horror.
Such impertinence, they felt, was sure to be punished!
The little girl realized what she said was not proper;
Looking at all those faces, her spirit felt ever more crushed.
Knowing not what to do, the little girl
Threw her chubby arms around the lady and cried,
“Oh! I’m so sorry! Really! Please! If you wish, I shall
never think anything funny at all, not even Uncle Tom’s bride!”
Some servants had their jaws drop wide-open;
Some others turned away, so their smiles were not showed.
But, looking down at the child, there stood the old woman;
All waiting for her response, not a muscle moved.
And what do you think she did, lads and laddies?
She opened her mouth wide and oh! How she laughed!
She picked the child up in her arms like you would your favourite teddies
And she laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed!
*END*
In a sea of people
In a world of chaos
I’m just walking around-
Lost.
My pace is much slower
Unfeelingly feeling the touch of each jostled shoulder
Searching for my feet in each shoe stepped over, I feel-
Lost.
I strain my ears for one friendly hello
Or one nod of the head that doesn’t mean- get outta my way
Or maybe a smile saying I’m glad to see you today
But in vain do I strain and I think I’m-
Lost.
There’s a footfall here, another I hear over there
All of strangers I’m stuck among
On this strange day, I don’t know where
My own step, I can’t hear
Not there not here not anywhere!
……………………………………
Have I stopped? Or have I been stopped?
Or is it just that I’m so lost?
My foot finds no place to tread
My arm finds no space to swing
I’m being pushed to the side
Out of this potpourri of rides-
Nothing to hold on to, nothing to hop on to
Slowly, I see myself, fall to the side-
Empty handed…barefooted…half naked
………………………………………
I guess…I should feel violated…I don’t
Or maybe angry…? I’m not.
I just feel myself-
Wild thoughts and a shred of sanity
Feelings of contamination and purity
With delusions and with beliefs
Feeling the stress and then relief…
No longer do I feel lost
No longer am I caught in a storm without a boat
This sea of people
This world of chaos
Doesn’t affect me, you see, on the side-lines.
So I hug myself round my hips
And let this one smile stretch my lips…
*END*
Before I begin, before you start,
Let me clear up one little part.
The words on this paper- they aren’t mine,
I just put them in order- line after line.
It’s about a friend that I speak now;
She’s the kind that you can love.
Cheerful she was with a smile that’s easy;
She didn’t talk much, but that's just ‘coz she was a bit too lazy;
She supported her friends and helped them through
Any trouble, any pain, anything that made them blue;
She smiled a lot and said she never cries;
Cry- she can’t- not even if she tries.
Then one morning she came and she looked so different-
Her smile seemed stretched and her eyes over bright.
She did talk and even joked around;
But in spaces, she’d look lost; in her thoughts she’d be bound.
She looked sad- we all thought so;
What should be done, we didn’t know though.
Finally I cornered her and what’s wrong, I asked her.
She just smiled and shook her head and said nothing’s the matter.
But then, I looked close and isn’t that a tear
Glistening in your eye, my dear?
That single tear rolled down her cheek
Finding the outlet that it chose to seek;
She brushed it off fiercely and turned away,
Leave me alone, she muttered, you should just go away!
That’s when I reminded her I’m her friend
And that means I should know what’s wrong at her end.
I heard her breathe and breathe hard;
I felt the barrier going down yard by yard.
I want to write, she finally said, I NEED to write,
But the words refuse to come; my paper remains blankly bright.
Tears swam in those eyes again
As I encircled her in my arms and tried to ease the pain.
Don’t worry, I said, the words are just up to their tricks;
You know they will come to you when the time ticks.
I feel like my best friend abandoned me
Just when I needed her most to hold me.
But you are not alone, we are all here
And you know the words will be back, you have nothing to fear.
I’m confused, she says, I don’t know
What I’m doing and what I should do;
/> It’s like I’m stuck in a limbo-
Forward I can’t go and backward, I don’t want to go;
I’m tired of yesterday and I’m afraid of what tomorrow will bring;
I’ve no energy or I’m just too lazy to face any problem or just anything;
I don’t feel good enough and that is a weird feeling;
I don’t feel talented enough and that is too scary for my dealing;
I used to be second to none and now I’m just second-
I don’t like that at all- not at all, my friend!
It’s like I’ve lost my passion- I have no passion!
I don’t know how I can live in that bare and lost fashion!
I don’t know what to say any more;
I feel too lost to myself and locked out of every door…
I didn’t know what to say to all this.
All I could do was pray and wish
That everything turns alright
And her morning again starts bright.
I want to see the smile back on her face;
I want to feel her confidence back in its place.
You are good, you are better in fact,
I assured her, than most people in many an act.
It was strange to see her cry;
It felt strange to wipe her tears dry.
She showed a side she didn’t want to show;
She feels hurt too, I came to know.
Never again did she refer to this episode;
Never did this become one of our anecdotes.
She showed up the next day- all happy and smiles
And then I knew- the mask was back in its style.
*END*
I remember that time
When I used to look, pick and choose
Guys lining up for me by the dime
One I’d like the best and for him, I’d let loose…
Years passed, times changed
War ravaged our pleasant homes
Nothing seemed to be what it seemed, nothin’ remained unchanged
Feelings altered, reactions varied, no flower was happy with its blooms
My man, married to me, is now at the border
Quite a hero he is- fighting hard, shedding his blood
But all I can think of is: I’m hiding in my larder
And he’s not here to protect me as he promised he would
Many a night under my empty shed
I’m sitting alone, cuddling myself for comfort
No, he’s not here, his warmth not by me in the bed
Its been so long, all I can remember of us is this- my present effort
I write him letter after letter, hoping for one reply
I pray day after day, begging to get him back to me
Every night I am alone, I am cold, I cry
I cry myself to sleep, I cry for myself to not feel lonely
But heavens! I can’t seem to help it; I’m getting lonely and lonelier
I long for some warmth in my bed
I long for a man’s arms to hold me, make me feel safer
I long for some company in that empty space under my shed
Havoc! It’s wreaking havoc in my head!
I want to go out with every and any man on the street
My thoughts for that pot-bellied shop-keeper turn my cheeks red
And when I look at his buck-toothed helper, I want to call him in for a treat!
Finally this one day, I run into my friend of 10 years past
He looked good, he talked nice, he had come to the town with his wife
She looked good too, she talked nice; but I knew she wouldn’t last
For he’s seen me and he’s smitten; I knew he would let me mess with his life
The next day I spent with his wife at the beach
And that very night I called the guy to my service
But for the sweat and the heat, my memory doesn’t serve me much
Oh yes! And I remember: we sealed it all with a kiss
Days passed and against all odds, the wife became my best friend
And with that came the guilt smothering me down all heavy
Here I was, I’m such a bitch- being her friend and sleeping with her husband
And then, what should I but hear- my man is coming back hale and hearty!
Happy I was, so happy! My sweetheart was coming back at last!
But it wasn’t the same for him who wanted me, but knew, he couldn’t have me
Nor was the wife (my friend) happy, when she heard what happened in the past
Not for her husband but for lying to her, she said she could kill me…
Two days later, I meet my friend with a case in her hand leaving town
Memories rushed by of what had been and what it needn’t have been
We smiled at each other and tears, held back, wouldn’t flow down
As we hugged for the last time as friends I realized what she had come to mean
Hands clasped, I begged her to keep in touch, to write
She just smiled sadly. Don’t worry, he will surely write, she gave
Voice choked I pleaded her say yes, so I can just delude myself we are alright
She just got in to the car and the last I saw of her forever was her wave.
The next day he came home- my husband- sergeant Harry
Ecstatic he was, he scooped me up and twirled me round
But then, all of a sudden, he put me down and turned away
You’ve been with another man haven’t you? He asked aloud
How could I answer that, oh how! I just stood there and hung my head…
Who is the man? Who is that bastard? He questioned fiercely
I still couldn’t make a sound, just stood there, my face all red.
Love Millie? Do you love him by any chance? Harry asked suddenly
And then I knew, whatever happened, I couldn’t lose my man
I finally raised my head and looked him straight in the eyes
No! I love you and only you! Loneliness made me do it just because I can!
And this time, my dearest, I promise, I’m telling no lies…
Harry, my dearest, hugged me and held me close
He had forgiven me and accepted me again
Let’s start over, he said and held out a rose…
My dearest Millie, will you marry me…all over again?
*END*
Other titles by the author
The weapon
The window
Final moments
The silver lining
His tiny toes
