by Sessha Batto
“Maybe we could try the ki transfer anyway?” the shadow wolf suggested in a voice hoarse with unshed tears. “Katsutoshi, Hideaki and I. It wouldn’t matter who the donor was. We could use my ki.”
“No, pretty,” Kazuki shook his head. “I will not allow that. You of all people do not deserve to have your life cut short.” A knock on the door interrupted his labored speech and Yoshi growled at the intrusion.
“What is it?” he demanded, eyes never leaving the man in his arms.
“A message arrived for you,” the runner replied nervously. “It's marked urgent, your eyes only.”
Yoshi snatched the envelope from the man's hand, watching as he fled before breaking the seal and flicking it open. “It's from Sato-san. He wanted to reassure me of my welcome in light of Genki's unpleasant visit. You and Hideaki are also welcome to return to the shuudan, should you so wish. Do they have the ability to do what you need? I can take you there if it means you don’t have to die.”
“I doubt anyone there has the skill. It's too late in any event, I wouldn’t survive the trip. You need to face the fact that I’ll be dead soon, pretty. You can’t keep holding on to false hopes for some last minute rescue.” The spell-caster reached up and wiped a tear from an alabaster cheek. “Don’t cry for me. I never want to make you cry.”
“I’m sorry,” the elite gasped. “I’m trying, but it's so hard. I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
“Then don’t. I’m still here with you. Just kiss me and help me remember happier times,” his lover entreated.
“How could I ever deny you,” the shadow wolf muttered as he sealed their lips together in a passionate, oxygen stealing kiss, his lover slumping bonelessly against him as their tongues battled.
“I want you to make me a promise, Yoshi,” Kazuki broke away to whisper. “I want you to promise me you’ll find someone and be happy.”
“You’re asking me to forget you?” he responded, the hurt resonating from him almost palpable. “Why? Why would you do that?”
“You should be happy,” the spell-caster said, locking eyes with Yoshi's wary mismatched pair. “You’ve made me happy, helped me make peace with the past. It would be supremely unfair if all you took from our time together was more pain.”
“You’re the only person who's ever loved me.” The shadow wolf dropped his head so his bangs would hide his troubled eyes. “I never thought anyone could love me, and I certainly didn’t expect to develop such feelings in return. You helped me become human, in a way I haven’t been for a very long time. These are the first tears I've cried since my mother died. I was four. That's a very long time to live without feeling.”
“All the more reason not to give up now,” Kazuki insisted. “Don’t lock yourself away again, please.”
“I’ll try, since you want it so,” the shadow wolf agreed. “But I need some time first.”
“Not too long, pretty one,” the spell-caster mumbled. “The longer you wait the harder it will be.” He laid his head on Yoshi's chest and shut his eyes, the last of his energy seeping away as he slipped back into sleep. The elite continued to cradle his slumbering lover, stroking his hair and basking in his presence, unwilling to sleep as long as Kazuki was still breathing.
****
Katsutoshi was awakened in the wee hours of the night by the sound of the shadow wolf's screams. “Go help him,” Hideaki urged. “I’ll be fine here.” The swordsman pulled on some clothes and raced towards the spell-caster's quarters. He threw the door open, only to stop dead at the sight of Yoshi clutching Kazuki's body as he pleaded with his dead lover.
“Just a little more time, koishii,” the elite begged. “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
“Takahashi-san, let me have him.” Katsutoshi held out his arms to receive the body.
“No, you can’t take him from me. I’m not going to let you.”
“Please don’t fight me,” the swordsman entreated. “He needs to be properly taken care of.”
“I’m taking care of him, aren’t I, Kazu-sama,” the shadow wolf crooned as he stroked the lifeless face. “He doesn’t need anyone else.”
Unable to come up with a way to separate the distraught nin from his lover's body, Katsutoshi headed back to fetch Hideaki, hoping he would be able to get through to his former comrade.
“Yoshi.” The Oonishi's soft, emotionless voice cut through the haze around the shadow wolf, and he turned his tear-streaked face toward the source of the sound. “You need to put the body down now.”
“But…” his lower lip quivered as he fought back more tears. “I … can’t.”
“Give him to Katsutoshi.” Hideaki moved forward and wrapped his arms around the lanky figure, gathering Yoshi close to sob on his chest as his partner lifted Kazuki's body from his arms.
“It's all my fault,” Yoshi whimpered through his tears. “I never wanted him to die, you have to believe me.”
“I saw how you stayed with him, cared for him. Of course you didn’t want him to die. It's not your fault.” The Oonishi petted snowy strands in an attempt to ease some tension from the taut frame. “He chose his path when he started using the technique. Eventually it was going to be his downfall. Kazuki knew that, no one is blaming you.”
“I’m a jinx,” the shadow wolf muttered. “It's my fault. Everyone close to me dies.”
“Everyone dies, senpai,” Hideaki declared. “Whether we’re ready for it or not. He had the luxury of dying in the arms of the one he loved. That's a rarity for a ninja.” He pursed his lips in thought, turning blind eyes towards Yoshi's face. “You’ve been with all of your loved ones when they died, haven’t you, senpai? Your father, your mentor, and now Kazuki. Maybe you’re the one that's jinxed, watching the ones you love die and leave you behind.”
After what seemed like hours, the shadow wolf's sobs slowed, body slumping in exhaustion as the events of the night caught up with him. “Just rest,” Hideaki crooned as he helped the taller man stretch out. “You’ll feel better after you sleep.”
“Stay with me,” Yoshi grasped a thin wrist firmly and tugged him toward the bed. “Please don’t leave me alone.”
“You’re not alone. Rest now, I’ll stay with you,” the last Oonishi promised as he sat down on the bed. “Everything will work out, you’ll see. We’ll talk when you wake up.”
Several hours later Katsutoshi crept back into Kazuki's rooms, gliding up to the bed and bending to whisper in Hideaki's ear. “It's done. Thank you for stepping in. Takahashi-san wasn’t listening to me.”
“He is mourning, Katsutoshi. His heart is punishing him for his loss. Listening to anything but that right now is impossible for him,” he whispered airily, hand still petting the tangled mop of snowy hair as he kept his tone placid and light. “Tomorrow he must make many hard decisions. Just keep everyone away for a few hours. I’ll let you know when he's awake.”
“Are you sure you can handle this?” the swordsman asked. “I can stay with him.”
“I don’t mind. It's nice to be useful again. Yoshi is strong, he’ll be fine once he accepts what has happened.”
Early the next morning Yoshi woke with a start, pulling the dark haired form into his arms and nuzzling a pale neck. “I had the worst dream, koishii. I’m so glad I’m awake now.”
“Good morning, senpai.” Hideaki rolled over to face a startled shadow wolf. “I’m afraid it wasn’t a dream. I’m sorry to do this, but you’re in charge. There are things that need to be taken care of and decisions that have to be made.”
“In charge of what?”
“This shuudan, of course,” came the silky reply. “You’re the new Nakamura no Shuhan.”
“Absolutely not,” Yoshi demurred. “I’m not even a member of this shuudan.”
“You’re the strongest shinobi here. You were the deceased Shuhan's lover. Who else would they choose?” the Oonishi asked.
“I don’t care,” he insisted. “I won’t do it.”
“Then you need to decide
who will, and what their relationship with Kobayashi shuudan will be,” Hideaki continued. “Do you wish revenge on them or not? The course of this shuudan is in your hands now.”
“I want to go home,” Yoshi declared in an almost child-like voice. “I just want to go home.”
“So you’re returning to Kobayashi,” the Oonishi said. “I assume you wish conflict between the two shuudan to end?”
“Yes, of course. But I can’t arrange that. I can’t stay here anymore.”
“Just for a few days, senpai,” Hideaki suggested. “Then we’ll make sure you get home. Would you like me to send word to someone?”
“No … yes,” the shadow wolf decided at the last moment, voice hardening viciously. “I would like to send some letters. I’ll have my familiar take care of it.” He stood and stretched, moving to the desk and scribbling several notes. He summoned Pi-natsu to carry the messages, staring off into space long after the wolf had disappeared.
“Who are you thinking of?” Hideaki's voice snapped Yoshi back to the present.
“My ‘Uncle’ Genki. He was too high and mighty to swallow his pride and do what was right. Now it's too late. I hope it hurts when he realizes it.”
“You’re not usually so vicious, Yoshi. What did he do to you?” the Oonishi asked.
“He didn’t do anything to me, or for me. I only recently found out we were related. Genki is the reason that Kazu left Kobayashi shuudan in the first place. I gave him the chance to clear the air, make amends for the mistakes of his youth. All he did was make things worse. How hard is it to be civil to a dying man, anyway?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never tried,” Hideaki answered. “Just don’t make the mistake of throwing away your life chasing revenge. I can tell you from personal experience it isn’t worth it.”
“So, am I to just ignore how I feel?” the shadow wolf pressed. “Because I don’t think I can do that. He has no right to judge me.”
“Ahhhh,” the Oonishi murmured as understanding sunk in. “Are you concerned about what he might have said when he returned? If you’re worried about retribution you don’t have to go back.”
“No, the Kobayashi no Shuhan has assured me I’m welcome. So are you, should you ever want to return,” Yoshi added.
“I’m welcome in Kobayashi shuudan?” Hideaki said, disbelief clear in his voice.
“Do you remember Sato Daisuke?” the shadow wolf asked. “He worked at the Armory.”
“Of course,” came the puzzled reply. “Why?”
“He is the new Shuhan. He says he's determined to right Kobayashi-sama's wrongs,” Yoshi explained. “I’m not sure if I should, but I want to trust him.” His expressive face fell when realization hit him once again. “I can’t breathe here. Everything reminds me of Kazuki and I just can’t breathe.”
“It will be alright, senpai,” the Oonishi assured him, although in his heart he didn’t know if he believed the lie he told so easily.
****
“I have a message for you from the boss.” Yoshi's wolf demon's gravelly voice broke through the silence of the Kobayashi no Shuhan's office, making Daisuke jump in his seat before turning to address the familiar.
“Good morning, Pi-natsu. How is Yoshi doing?”
“Kazuki died last night. The boss is upset right now, but he’ll get over it.”
“It isn’t that easy to forget someone who's died,” Daisuke chided. “Not if you truly cared for them. I’m sure Takahashi-san is hurting right now.”
“Boss has had lots of people die,” Pi-natsu said with a shrug. “He always gets over it. Now he’ll finally come home. I gotta go deliver the rest of these.”
The Shuhan flicked open the letter and scanned it, jaw dropping in shock as he read.
Kobayashi no Shuhan-sama,
Apparently I am now Shuhan of Nakamura shuudan. I have no intention of retaining this title, yet I would love to cement a treaty between our shuudan while it is in my power to do so. I believe such an alliance would be in the best interests of people on both sides. I hope you agree.
If you send someone with treaty documents I will gladly sign them before I resign my title and return home. Assuming, of course, that I am still welcome. Please send word with Pi-natsu.
Takahashi Yoshi
Daisuke penned a reply, sealing it and setting it aside to give to the demon on his return. Then he sent a runner to fetch his candidate for treaty negotiations.
“Hey, Makoto,” the wolf familiar grumbled from next to the interrogator's desk. “Message for you.” He dug out an envelope and passed it over, looking expectantly up at the scarred man.
“What?” Makoto growled, glaring at the letter as if it would bite.
“I’m supposed to wait for a reply,” Pi-natsu said. “Got anything to eat around here?”
The interrogator ignored the request and tore open the letter, glancing at it briefly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“That's it?” the familiar asked. “I come all this way and that's the best you can do? The boss is really upset. He could use a more positive response.”
“Do you even know what it says?”
“No,” Pi-natsu retorted. “But I know the boss cares about you. He didn’t want to leave, you know.”
“But he didn’t return when he had the chance, either,” Makoto shot back.
“It's complicated. I don’t understand it. I’m sure boss can explain it if you ask. Just give him a chance.”
“I said I wasn’t going anywhere. If Yoshi comes back he knows where to find me. It's the best I can do at the moment.”
“I’ll be sure to leave out your pissy attitude when I pass the message along.” Pi-natsu faded away, leaving the interrogator to slump behind his desk as he tried to pin down his elusive feelings.
Genki was a bit harder to find, and the demon was panting heavily by the time he located him. “Letter for you, shit head,” the wolf growled as he dropped it in the sage's lap and abruptly disappeared away.
“Rude, little…” Genki turned his attention to the paper in his hand. He drained his saucer, refilled it, and drained it again before unfolding the letter to study its contents.
Genki,
Kazuki passed away this evening. I shall be returning home shortly. Please be gone when I return.
Takahashi Yoshi
“That conceited little brat,” the sage muttered angrily. “Who does he think he is, anyway? He can’t throw me out of this shuudan. I’m not the one who's been consorting with traitors.” He paid his tab and hurried to the Shuhan's office to inform him of this latest outrage.
“Daisuke, I need to talk to you.”
“I already told you, Genki,” the Shuhan replied wearily. “I am not going to punish Jun-san, especially since you won’t even tell me what he supposedly did.”
“No, it's about this,” the sage insisted, shoving Yoshi's letter into the Shuhan's hands. He began to pace, grumbling the entire time about ungrateful brats and uppity whelps.
“So, you’re leaving then,” Daisuke said. “I’m sure you’ll be able to come back and visit in a few years when Takahashi-san calms down.”
“Wait just a minute,” the sage roared. “You can’t boot me out. They may have given you the title, but I’m the strongest ninja in this shuudan and you’d better not forget it.”
“That sounds suspiciously like treason, old man.” Souta stepped out of the shadows, locking a hard hand around Genki's arm. “Do you wish him confined, Shuhan-sama?”
“For the moment, until I can decide what to do with him. Just get him out of here before I do something I’ll regret.” Daisuke watched with dismay as the sage was led away, a familiar voice pulling him from his contemplation. “Ah, Tatsuya, just the man I need to see. I have an important mission for you.”
****
“Senpai, you need to eat something.” Hideaki's voice cut through the haze surrounding the elite and he turned his head toward the speaker.
“I’m not hungry.” Yoshi rol
led over and pressed his face back into the rumpled bedsheets, sensitive nose seeking out traces of his absent lover's scent.
“It's been almost a week. I’m not going to let you starve yourself to death,” the Oonishi said. “Either you eat on your own or I’ll have to have Katsutoshi feed you.”
“I want to go home,” the shadow wolf explained. “I can’t move on here.”
“I understand that. But I can’t let you leave until I know you will take care of yourself. Besides,” Hideaki continued after a brief pause, “you sent word that you wished to negotiate a treaty. The least you can do is wait until the negotiator gets here.”
“Perhaps they’re not interested.” Yoshi shrugged, not concerned one way or the other. “I’m not going to hang around here indefinitely and wait.”
“Give it a few more days. Then make your decision. Peace moves much less swiftly than war, after all.”
“Why do you care so much, anyway?” the shadow wolf asked. “You have no intention of returning to the shuudan. “
“You and Kazuki-sama were very good to me. You helped me make peace with what happened to me, and what I did as a result,” he whispered. “I owe you for that. Besides, you remind me of Katsutoshi. I hope by comforting you that, perhaps, I’m ensuring someone will comfort him when I am no longer here.”
“Aaa.” Yoshi watched frustration flit across the Oonishi's face at his enigmatic response. “Are you sure you won’t come back with me and consult our medics? Perhaps they can do something to stop the progression of your condition.”
“No, it's fine,” Hideaki insisted. “What's the point of healing a blind ninja?”
“You’re more than just your skills as a ninja,” Yoshi murmured. “No one would be heartless enough to turn you away because of that.”
“Perhaps I do not wish to continue like this indefinitely. I should have a say in the matter, should I not?”
“Like you’re giving me a say in what I do?” the elite pointed out. “Leave me alone, Hideaki. I promise to eat something later. Right now I’m tired.” The shadow wolf rolled over and presented his back, rejecting any further attempts at conversation.
