I take a deep breath opening the package and it's a child's cloak and matching gloves. My heart flutters at my mother's symbol woven in the fine fabric. My mother made these? Before he can answer Shadowen and even before I can even ask him about the clothes he answers in his smooth voice, “Your mother made them for you, but I could not bring them to you until now. I'm sure you would want your child to have them.” I'm speechless.
The Royal Seer, my father, holds his hands together in his lap. There is much running through his mind I realize through the different emotions he's exposing to me. This is obviously far more difficult for him. Shadowen reaches her hand across the chair taking his into hers saying, “Do you require something of me?” He nods slightly but says nothing. To my astonishment Shadowen's demeanor changes as she releases his hands and removes her gloves. I'm astonished that my father rushes to his knees before her and her hand gently strokes the side of his veil. “It's fine.” She whispers to him. Then she removes her veil and then his. “You may gaze upon me and ask what you desire.” I fall to my knee in reverence as I see the Royal Chalice has once again come forth.
He lays his head in her lap at her prompting and she whispers, “You may seek solace in me.” while she strokes his black hair and his cheek. I can feel he's in great pain and although he's never been a father to me I do feel an obligation to help him. Not sure if it's because he is my father or because he is the Royal Seer. So I simply wait and watch.
His voice is harsh sounding with emotions, “I have no peace, no rest, and no solace in my life.”
The Royal Chalice's voice is soft and alluring as she speaks, “You may rest in me.” she strokes his hair gently. Then he lifts his head and I see his shadows dance in his eyes with wonder. His voice is pure and warm, “You are far more beautiful than I could ever imagine in my sight.” He lowers his eyes, “I am so humbled.”
He suddenly breaks down and weeps and I feel the relief of emotions flooding him. She strokes his hair back and forth like consoling a child and I cannot help but feel her love and warmth. He finally speaks his weeping subsiding, “You said I was forgiven for denying life to grow in her womb all those times... but... did you take her from me, to punish me? Will I never see her again? Will my life remain empty without her? I cannot see.” He's now staring up into her face and I realize he's speaking about my mother. He truly loved my mother? I never knew he loved her. I thought she was just a servant to him. Just someone he had an affair with, but now I know there's much I never really knew.
Then the idea that he denied her to have a child. It's no wonder he wouldn't claim me, he didn't want a child and then she died with complications giving birth to me. No wonder he never claimed me. But that doesn't explain him bonding with me when she carried me in her womb.
She gently strokes his face, “You are not to blame. We did not take her from you. It was her time. This is the way of life, there is death then life again it is an infinite circle.”
I see longing in his eyes and I want to go to him. I scold myself for having such emotions. He wants something from her but not from me. She's the reason he is here not me. I feel the coldness that I have clung to all my years return. I don't want him here but I know I cannot interfere, not with the Royal Chalice. He lowers his head, anguish in his eyes and I am doing my best to distance myself from him and this. I'll be an observer only.
“Royal Seer, you have come for a reason and it’s not just to look into my face.”
“I seek the Royal Chalice so that...” He pauses.
“I am here, child. So speak that which you desire.” He lays his head back on her lap and she strokes once again along his cheek and hair. My eyes lift to the Royal Chalice and she is looking at me with such love in her eyes and then she lifts her other hand to join her. I cannot deny her my touch. I immediately kneel next to her and she removes my veil. She then turns to my father saying, “Speak that which burdens you.”
“I am not worthy of this gift you bring me, but I am so very grateful.”
“Your visions are such a burden for you now. You saw that I would give you solace, so you came.”
“I did and I am here. My visions are so much worse now. Only Vestrial could calm my mind and when I lost her...”
“I know.” She assures him. “I know your passionate love for Vestrial. The forbidden love you shared with her and the child she gave birth to. The son that you love so deeply and intensely, yet are forced not to claim or acknowledge. The son that has grown into a powerful man, my Royal Consort. He doesn't know of this love or the sacrifice you have made for him but I do. I know everything you and Vestrial went through for your love and your son. I know you are bound until death to keep your silence, but I am not so bound.”
I'm shocked. What is she speaking about? He then responds, “My time is almost at the end.” I quickly send my magic over him and I feel his life ebbing away, he will be gone by morning “I'm not sad that I am about to leave this life for the next. I just wondered... is she here?” Is who here?
The Royal Chalice smiles. “Yes she is here. Her excitement at your entrance has sent all the other shadows in a tizzy. She desperately wants to touch you.” She whispers to him. My heart stops. My mother is here? How is this possible? She is more Nightelf than Mystic. Did she have a shadow?
He lifts his head. “Does she forgive me?” She nods her head and he lets out a breath. “May I speak with her?” He asks as if he's this young boy again. She nods her head again reaching down removing his gloves and together we all stand. She takes his hand into her's then leads him to a wall.
“Scious.” She calls him by his name.
He looks expectant and her hand touches the wall. My heart is pounding in my chest as a slender near black shadow comes from the wall. Immediately this beautiful shadow makes herself known to my father, her voice is not a whisper as the other shadows it's soft and reminds me of younger version of Madrigal's. “My beloved...” Is this really the shadow of my mother? I'm speechless and I cannot stop the tears from burning my eyes.
I see warmth touch my father's eyes and he gently reaches to touch this shadow as it wraps itself around the Royal Chalice. His voice is lilting with affection, “Do you forgive me?”
“Of course...”
“I was not sure you would be here. I still cannot see you.”
“I have watched our son grow as I vowed I would.”
“My time is at the end and... I wish to come here, am I welcome?”
Now a huge shadow appears and I know this one as Spector. Then another comes forth and then another. Suddenly shadows from all over are streaming from the walls. The large one, Spector says in a muffled hiss. “You are welcome.”
The Royal Chalice has a tear in her eye as she looks to me. Then my father, who I have never truly gazed upon until this hour turns to me. I see directly into his eyes. I see his tears of joy, longing and quickly suddenly he's pulling me to him. I can't breathe. I feel all his love, devotion and desires flood into me. He loves me. My father loves me. He kisses my cheek not once but over and over as he weeps in joy at finally being able to express this to me. “I claim you as my son, my beautiful, wonderful child. You are the son of Scious from the Royal House of Seers.”
At first I want to pull away. Pull away from this man who is a stranger to me. A man who refused to claim me as his child but I don't, instead I return his embrace. I have always wondered what it would be like to be loved by a father. I wanted to make sure my child had love and affection from a father because I never did. His magic sweeps over me and I drink it in just like my child drinks in mine. There is a remembrance in this magical exchange. I'm not sure how long we stand like this, but I feel a completion and know he's planning on not leaving here alive.
We release each other and he gazes into my eyes and I'm amazed how very beautiful he still is. He doesn't even have a hint of silver in his hair or lines on his face. He looks as young as I, if not younger. He shocks me, “My son, call your shadow blades to you.”<
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“What?” I ask then look at all the shadows around us, moving in anticipation.
“It's alright, call them. It's time for me to go.”
“I can't...” I whisper not withholding the shock from my voice.
The Royal Chalice speaks a command, “Call them, Royal Assassin.”
I cannot disobey her. I call my blades to me. I swallow hard, waiting. He smiles at me and now I'm feeling loss, loss of a father I have only just now connected with. His voice is smooth. “This is what I want. I am dying, you know this. It is only a matter of hours and my soul will enter Shadow Hall, but the question is where my shadow will go.
The Royal Chalice speaks with authority and I and my father drop to our knees. “Royal Seer, you have broken your vow to the Royal House of Seers by claiming your son this very hour. Penalty for this broken vow is your death and your shadow will not reside in the Royal House of Seers. How do you speak?”
“I am ready.” He says with his head bowed.
“Royal Assassin, you will carry out sentence.” My heart stops, my mouth goes dry. I cannot kill my own father. How can I do this? I raise my eyes and look at her. How can she ask this of me? I see joy in her eyes and I have to look away. Why is there joy in her eyes for me to carry this sentence out?
I finally find my voice, “How can you ask this of me? He is my father.”
It's my mother's shadow who answers, “I have been long without my husband and him without me. It is fitting for our son to bring us back together again.”
“What?” I say shocked. Husband?
I look to my father. “Yes, I married your mother, even though it was forbidden. I have always watched you from a distance; because I made a vow to the Royal House that I would not claim you when you were born. It allowed you to stay in Myst with Madrigal under the protection of the Royal House of Assassins. If I claimed you I was to be put to death and you would have been cast out of Myst with no protection. I could not do this. Your mother could not do this. When she died, she promised me to always watch over you... I did what I could from afar... but now these vows are over. I'm dying and you cannot be removed from the Royal House or Myst.” He takes a slow breath then says, “Please, Reis... I trust no one more than I trust you to do this. I know in your skilled hands my shadow will stay here.”
I know his sincerity and I raise him to his feet. I close my eyes and even though a rush of emotions rush through me I let it all go.
I hear the Royal Chalice speak to me, “The Royal Seer's shadow has been accepted in the Royal House of Assassins. I so decree you will pull his shadow from his body and release it here to be accepted. His soul will follow by morning to Shadow Hall.” She then addresses him, “Royal Seer, you will die alone.”
I look up and see all these shadows gathered around us, floating, and waiting. I note my hand is shaking slightly although I grip my shadow blade. He puts his arms around me, embracing me and taking a deep breath I plunge my shadow blade inside my father. It doesn't take anytime at all and I feel his shadow rejoicing as it actually grabs onto mine. His voice is soft, warm, next to my ear. “It's alright now. You can let me go and know my shadow will be here waiting with your mother. I've always loved you and I always will. My destiny is complete. I have served as required and now you must live yours.”
I linger a moment, unable to pull my blade out. Unable to release his shadow. Suddenly I'm thrust within a vision. Shadowen laying in a pool of blood. Her very life being drained from her. Myst is screaming in agony and suddenly I need to escape this vision. I cannot bear to see or feel Myst screaming in pain. My beloved Shadowen in pain and agony then without thought I pull my blade out, releasing his shadow. He gasps and collapses in my arms. I have no words. I have only pain in my chest and now Shade appears directly behind him from a shadow. He doesn't even hesitate, but takes him into his arms. I look up and there isn't a shadow in sight and Shadowen is lying on the floor.
I rush to her, pulling her to me. She's not injured only asleep. I turn to look at my father, his eyes are open, but his shadow is gone. He will die now, his body cannot live without his shadow and his soul will leave for Shadow Hall. He will die alone.
Twenty-Two
It’s been two weeks since I released my father's shadow from his body. Several times I've come close to asking Shadowen to commune with the shadows, but I just cannot ask her. What would I ask? What do I really want to know? And yet... Why can't I get the vision of Shadowen dying out of my mind? Why do I see Myst dying everywhere I turn?
Today I overheard Shade tell Shadowen that there is no one to replace the Royal Seer. He then proceeded to tell her that the Royal Court is in a state of panic. He also mentioned trolls and I recall trolls in my vision. My heart grows heavier as each day passes.
Much has occurred and today we visit the Royal Court. The Commons area in the Court of the Royal House of Darkness and Shadows hasn't changed much over the last twenty years. I'm not actually surprised as the same Court has been in session since before I was even born, so this turn in events has put much in chaos. I get the feeling nothing will be the same even if it looks the same. The collapse of the Royal House has brought much confusion and I dare say violence to Myst.
We've been home for near a month and Shadowen is becoming anxious each and every day. She says it's just that she is getting closer to her time, but I feel there is something else. Something she knows but doesn't remember.
Today has been a long day. All members of the Royal House have been summoned and each of us has gone through a thorough investigation. I've not seen Phantom, Essence or Chi at all. Rumors have it that they have fled to the recesses within the hollows. I hope they damn well stay there for awhile.
I see right away the Royal Magistrate is with Shade and they are moving through the outer hallway about to turn inward to where I am standing. I gently reach out to Shadowen and she's still in the Upper Room waiting to be seen by the Royal Guardian. I can sense nervousness from her. Shadowen, what troubles you?
I'm fine, just nervous.
There is no need to be nervous, I'm here.
Yes, down stairs, but I am very much alone up here.
You are never alone, I am always with you. I'm just a shadow away Little one.
Will you still call me little one when our child is born?
I laugh softly in my heart. Yes, I will. I feel her smile and this touches my heart. How long is this going to take anyway?
She's called for the Royal Scribe, so it should be done in only a few moments.
Good. I grow weary waiting and I need to touch you again.
Suddenly I feel Shadowen's hand briefly touch my back. It's a silken caress and I am still amazed at how she can reach through a shadow and touch me without having to step through it. I sigh with such need. Shadowen...
I'm here, my love. I won't be much longer.
I glance over to Shade and I watch him turn around. I immediately feel something is wrong but I'm not sure what it is. I reach out with my magic at the same time I hear Shade nearly shouting out “Shadowen!”
My heart stills and immediately I'm in assassin mode my hand slipping into shadows after her. She's frightened and moving swiftly. I feel her movements and her fear. She's swift but not near swift enough to escape whatever it is she is running from.
I can't pinpoint what it is or who it is that is giving chase to her, but she is moving faster than I thought possible. Now I realize she is trying to reach me, she needs me but something is blocking her shifts. Shadowen! I call to her.
Help me! She cries back to me and I can't seem to get to her. I'm coming up on cold blocks. Now I realize why, it's Phantom. I don't know how he's done it but he's blocking me from getting to her or her to me. It's like a maze within shadows.
Now I hear her call again. Shade is coming... Now she screams inside my heart. I fall to my knees as pain sears throughout my body. She's hurt. He's stabbed her! Shadowen! I'm coming little one! I stand up with my weapons ready and now I'm ca
sting as many spells as possible to break these blocks.
She cries to me again and I falter falling to my knees. Oh goddess he's stabbed her again. Please help her! I stand up only to fall again I feel each wound he makes inside her it's as if I'm the one being stabbed. “Mysteria!” I shout in agony. “Help me!”
I'm suddenly standing again and now I'm more powerful and the pain is gone. I fling my magic outward and I can even feel the crackling of energies as I dispel all of Phantoms blocks.
I slip through two more shadows and there she is. My beautiful Shadowen is lying in a pool of blood. Just like the vision my father shared with me. I rush to her but Phantom suddenly appears before me. He's casting vile magic towards me. He's a fool! But soon to be a dead fool.
He hisses at me. “You filled her belly with your tainted seed, but I've removed that pathetic life! Soon her life will drain out with her blood and fill all of Myst giving us back the power to remove the foul stench of you Nightelves!” I move with precision to slice him and I do. He will suffer I've decided, his death will be long and drawn out. “It's too late! Her shadow is already leaving her as you try to kill me. Save her and you save me!” His laugh is twisted and evil.
It's then I see beyond him to my lifeless Shadowen. There is nothing left to do but end this pathetic life, which I should have done long ago. I move towards him and he throws a counter spell and throwing up several blocks. Now I see Shade slip out of a shadow and now the Royal Magistrate. Phantom turns casting blocking spells towards them to keep them away from Shadowen but Shade is fast and he throws up a counter spell that actually makes Phantom move back several feet in the direction of my blades. I feel nothing but pleasure sinking my stov-vo-kievs into his flesh, but I wish I had my shadow blade ready for I would have taken his life in this instant. Instead he screeches moving away, slipping into a shadow.
I stare at Shadowen lying so lifeless. I see the blood seeping around her and I watch the ground soak up the blood and my heart lunges in my chest. Shade is kneeling over her and I see him vigilantly casting healing magic over her. The Royal Magistrate kneels on the other side; his voice is thick with emotions when he looks up to me. “She is still alive, we will save her!” I see several shadows part and The Royal Conjurer appears with the Royal Healer. The Royal Magistrate looks up to me, his voice is firm, “Royal Assassin, go now and kill Phantom for his crimes. Do not return until this is done. We will care for Shadowen.”
The Royal Assassin: Shadows of Myst Page 18
