by Anne Ashby
Connor was around opening her door faster than an Olympic sprinter. He helped her out and did not let go of her hand even as he fumbled with locking the car and pocketing his keys. “A walk on the beach it is.”
In the shadows of the street lighting he couldn’t distinguish the expression in her eyes, but he caught her little pout as she tilted her head to one side. “Unless you can think of anything else we might like to do?” she said.
His body sprang to attention as he held her tight against his side. “Oh, baby, you must know exactly what else I’d like to do right now.”
The tremor down her body propelled even more blood away from his brain. Her whispered, “Good,” spurred him to almost pick her up and carry her down onto the beach in haste. Striding across the sand until he was sure they were alone, he drew her down into the dark shadows provided by the seawall.
Chapter Eleven
Zoe’s whole body trembled. Her heartbeat was hammering in her ears so loudly she couldn’t make out Connor’s exact murmured words as his fingers traced her face. He cupped her cheek before delving the welcoming warmth of his tongue into her mouth.
Her fingers, clinging and pulling at his hair, drove him to deepen the kiss. She lifted her chin when he dragged his lips from hers and trailed his mouth across to her neck. The slightly abrasive rub of his face sent more heat flooding through her.
Aching for still-closer contact, when his hands touched her waistline she pushed them aside, jerking her top over her head. She flung it away, not caring where it landed.
The tremor in his cold fingers as they touched the burning heat of her skin sent more shivers down her spine. His ragged breathing matched her own. She threw back her head, reveling in the moment. Connor was hers.
She gasped as he tugged up her bra and exposed her breasts to the night air. She clutched at his hair as his breath warmed the exposed flesh, arching her back to encourage him to take an excited nipple into his mouth.
“This is crazy. You deserve so much better than this.”
Zoe grabbed at his shirt, unfastening the buttons and running her fingers across his chest. He can’t be thinking of stopping now. His brain might be telling him to stop. She smiled. But his hands and body aren’t listening.
Just in case his brain triumphed over whatever stupid argument it was having, she warned, “Don’t you dare. We’ve waited long enough.” She reached for his belt buckle. “I want us to make love, Connor. Right here, right now.”
She moaned into his mouth as he pulled her hand away and secured it above her head. She caught the slight shake of his head.
“That’s not going to happen.” His wandering hands and lips denied the truth in his words. “Not right now, and definitely not here.”
She pressed her lips against his face, frantically kissing his cheeks and chin before progressing down to a bouncing Adam’s apple. Anything to show him she was ready.
“The first time we make love is going to be special.”
Connor’s tongue tickled her ear and sent delicious shivers through her. She squirmed and moaned. The heat between her legs was becoming unbearable, making her crazy. His free hand rolled and teased already ultra-sensitive nipples.
“Now, Connor. I want you now.” Her back arched. “You’ve got a condom, haven’t you?”
Connor stilled.
Zoe groaned. “Don’t stop…”
His mouth returned to working her into a frenzy as he flicked his tongue across the sensitive points of her breasts.
“Ssh, relax.”
I don’t want to relax, she almost shouted. I want you, all of you.
She gasped. Fluttering sensations exploded low in her stomach as his fingers stole up her inner thigh under her skirt. Zoe stiffened as slowly, far too slowly, his hand moved higher. She wriggled and opened her legs to accommodate his first hesitant touch. Zoe squirmed as he became bolder. His fingers worked up a magical response in seconds.
“No, Connor, no,” she gasped. “I want us both…oh hell.” She bucked against his hand as waves of sensation overcame her. She clutched at his shoulders, burying her face against him.
He held her gently as he waited for the spasms to quiet down.
“I didn’t want that.”
“Didn’t you?” She could hear the smile in his voice.
Zoe thumped his shoulder. “No. I wanted us together, making love properly.”
“So do I, Zoe. So do I.” He cupped her chin before lightly kissing her. “But I had to make sure you were satisfied.” He kissed her again. “It’s been a long time. A very long time. I won’t last. Not our first time.” His head drooped. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
Zoe floated. Relief coursed through her, making her feel lighter than one of the grains of sand upon the beach beneath her.
“You could never do that.” Her words bubbled up as lively as from a shaken champagne bottle. She threw her arms around him, her fingers sliding under the shirt she’d unbuttoned earlier. Unconsciously she traced first one then another scar she could distinguish on his back. While her tongue tasted his skin’s faint saltiness as it traced a line across his chest from one nipple to the other, she boldly nudged his shirt aside to run her lips up and over the scarred tissue on his shoulder.
Along with the shudders racing through him, she sensed a hesitant withdrawal. She snatched her hands and mouth away and sat up, ignoring her bare top. She ignored the skirt crunched up around her middle, baring her legs to the evening’s coolness. She even ignored the dampness of her panties where his fingers had just been.
“Connor, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…your scars don’t bother me…I don’t care…” Tightening a hold on his arms didn’t stop his distancing himself from her. She clutched at him again. I didn’t mean to hurt you. She clenched her jaw against the bile rising in her throat. Trying to swallow it away with the sobs threatening to escape was proving impossible. Oh hell.
“Connor?” Her voice was but a thread as she unsuccessfully searched for words to return them to—to what?
This time her shivers had nothing to do with the rampant desire coursing through her only moments ago.
In the darkness, she couldn’t see his expression. His face turned toward the sea, away from her.
But nothing is going to put some wall between us. She gritted her teeth. I won’t let anything go wrong. “C-Connor?” She tried again, rubbing a gentle hand up and down his arm. Refusing to allow the tears clamoring for release to distract her, she waited.
Eventually a huge sigh escaped Connor and his chin dropped to his chest.
Zoe could only imagine whatever struggle was going on inside him, but when he reached out and wrapped his arms around her she collapsed against him like a puppet losing the hand that controls it.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He rained kisses all over her face. Chaste kisses. “I do care about you.” The half moon didn’t allow much vision but he was looking down at her. “You don’t doubt that, do you?”
Zoe shook her head.
His arms tightened, stilling her little wriggle against his chest. A wriggle she’d hoped might drive whatever terrible thoughts from his mind and reignite his earlier desire. Her shoulders drooped. It seems making love isn’t going to happen.
Connor leaned his head against hers, just sitting there, staring out to sea.
She guessed it was only minutes they sat there, but it felt like hours to Zoe. She didn’t dare move, even when one of her legs began to cramp. She bit her lip and endured the pain.
Connor gave no warning before he leapt to his feet, tipping her head first into the sand.
“Oh hell, I’m sorry.” He crouched down to where she’d fallen. “You okay?”
Whether he saw her nod or not, Zoe could only guess. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. “C’mon, we’ve got somewhere to be.”
“Oh yeah, and where might that be?”
“The closest hotel we can find.”
Heat burned through Zoe’s
every part. She hugged herself before reaching out and hugging him. “You’re on.” She was grinning, grinning like a crazy person.
“It might be a good idea to find my clothes first, though.” She giggled, guessing by his stillness he’d forgotten her state of dress.
Running her hand across the sand beside where she’d lain produced nothing. Sinking onto hands and knees she crawled further afield throwing aside the occasional small rock or piece of driftwood.
“I can’t find them.”
“Which direction did you throw them?”
“I wasn’t thinking very coherently at the time, you might remember.”
She heard his seemingly satisfied chuckle.
“Anyway, it was you who threw my bra.” A giggle escaped. “Where did you throw it?”
Zoe’s search became more desperate the further she crawled from the seawall. She hoped the passing cloud over the moon would continue to hide them from any possible sighting.
“I can’t have thrown my top this far away.” Zoe wished she’d chosen to wear white. At least they’d have had a better chance of seeing something white. “You might have to be a gentleman and give me your shirt.”
Zoe swallowed a groan as she sensed Connor’s pause. Bugger, when will I learn to keep my big mouth shut? He couldn’t expose his body for just anyone to see.
“I can do that. A shirt’s not too much to ask for, in the circumstances.”
Zoe gulped.
“I see your bra.” Zoe turned to see Connor’s shadow reach for something. “No, sorry, it’s some seaweed.”
“How can my bra look like a piece of seaweed?”
Connor chuckled. “I guess my experience with bras might be rather limited.”
“Just as well, too.” Zoe’s fingers encountered material. “Your shirt’s safe, I’ve found my top.” She shook sand from it before pulling it over her head.
“Let’s forget the bra, I’ll buy you a dozen new ones.”
“That’ll be sure to give the early morning walkers something to talk about.”
“They’ll be envious, wishing they were lucky enough to be indulging in a little nooky on a dark beach.” He grabbed her hand. “Let’s go.”
Zoe leaned close and pecked his cheek. “You’d better do up your shirt. And get all that sand off you. You’re looking like a shameless hussy.” She laughed and ducked away toward the car, knowing by his soft laugh he was just one pace behind her.
They’d just passed the aquarium on their speedy trip back into the city when Connor’s pager beeped. Connor swore as he braked. “Dammit, I’m not on call tonight. I just left my pager in the car out of habit.” He thumped the steering wheel and swore again.
Zoe swallowed mounting disappointment. She slumped in her seat. “You can’t ignore it, Connor.”
With a frustrated glance at Zoe, it looked as if Connor might do exactly that, but then he skidded the car to a stop. Muttering more choice phrases he checked the beeper before reaching for his phone.
“It might be nothing.” He punched in a number. “It had better be nothing.”
Zoe laid her hand on his arm. “It must be something important.”
Every last drip of excited anticipation drained from Zoe as Connor’s face tightened into an angry scowl. She swallowed the distraught groan, hopefully without him hearing. Whatever’s happened isn’t his fault.
But it was obvious their plans had been thwarted. Connor’s eagerness to get them to a hotel had been replaced with such a smoldering anger Zoe wondered what could have happened.
“I’m sorry.” He didn’t even look at her. “I need to go into Starship.” He slammed the car into drive and accelerated with a squeal of rubber.
Zoe glanced around, checking for police patrols. Luckily, at this time of night, or morning, the road was virtually empty of other vehicles.
“It might not take long.”
Zoe picked up the concern, and doubt, in Connor’s voice.
“I don’t mind, Connor.” Zoe touched his arm to reassure him. “You’re a doctor. If you’re needed, you must go and help.”
“Thanks.” The word was murmured absently as he drove into one of the consultants’ car parks and leapt out. “Come on.” Her door opened and she was almost dragged out of the car.
“But I’ll just wait here for—”
“Don’t be silly, I’m not leaving you sitting out here. Come on. You can grab a coffee at the nurses’ station while I find out what’s happening.”
Zoe had no choice but to accompany him through the doors and into the lift as his hand never left her arm. Stepping out into a darkened corridor they hurried toward the nurses’ station and the murmur of conversation.
An unwarranted surge of jealousy surfaced as a diminutive woman detached herself from a small group of people and rushed to Connor, grasping his free arm.
“I know you’re not on call, Con—” Her gaze slid from Connor to Zoe before dismissing Zoe out of hand. Zoe’s teeth clenched and she was contemplating dragging Connor’s arm from the woman’s grasp when he restored her aggrieved feelings by showing her to a chair near the rear of the station.
“I’ll be as quick as I can.” His murmured words were loud enough for the others to hear. And easy for them to see, when he bent over and kissed her.
Zoe couldn’t resist catching the other woman’s eye and staring her down.
With an almost unperceivable shrug, the woman, apparently another doctor, turned to Connor again and started discussing her reason for paging him.
Zoe could detect no further sign of anything but professional courtesy. Just as well, or I might have been tempted to scratch her eyes out. Warmth invaded her cheeks and she hoped no one had been privy to her antagonistic response to Connor’s workmate.
“…grandmother’s with him, she won’t leave his side. There’s no doubting the bond between them, but something’s wrong. We”—the woman exchanged a glance with a gangly young colleague—“well, we weren’t sure enough to call in the abuse team without―”
“That’s fine, Kelly.”
Zoe relaxed even further as Connor’s pat on the woman’s arm appeared almost fatherly. “Making such an accusation is very serious. Always check and double-check the facts. Now, you’ve done a full skeletal survey?”
A series of x-rays were flicked through on a computer screen, both younger doctors pointing out things of concern.
“A fall down the stairs? Is that what they said happened?” Connor’s voice had hardened and his face became a cold mask.
Zoe shivered.
“You were right to call me. Let’s go and talk to the boy.”
As they stepped away from the nurses’ station, Connor stopped and looked back toward her.
She waved him away with a reassuring nod. She’d wait for however long he needed.
“These cases make me wish I was an executioner rather than a nurse,” a voice raged behind her, before the nurse offered her a coffee cup.
Zoe sat sipping the bitter liquid, saddened by what was apparently happening a little way along the corridor.
“No. I need to stay with him. He’ll get frightened on his own.”
Zoe tried not to look at the older woman Connor had firmly escorted from the room, wondering if she was responsible for whatever had happened.
“Mrs. Liddell…”
Zoe shivered again at the ice in Connor’s voice.
“Your grandson has been abused. He—”
“No, no, you’re wrong. He fell down the stairs. They’re quite steep stairs. That’s what he told me.”
“He’s lying, Mrs. Liddell. He never fell down any stairs either now or when he broke his arm.”
Zoe felt a moment’s sympathy for the distraught woman before her heart hardened. She’d seen enough abuse growing up. Others denying it was happening were almost as wicked as those committing the crime.
“Or when his ribs were cracked, or when his left leg was broken.”
“Nurse?”
/> Zoe’s companion rushed to Connor’s side.
“Take Mrs. Liddell along to the waiting room, please. I’ll be along to talk to you again.”
****
Connor scrubbed his hand around the back of his neck as the protesting woman was escorted away. Her shocked reaction to his words suggested her ignorance, but he doubted anyone close being unaware of the number of injuries this boy had suffered, possibly since his birth.
Sucking in a deep breath he re-focused. The few times he’d encountered such a case, his mind went into overload, and he was petrified his own memories might cloud his judgment. He slumped against the wall, unaware his colleagues were waiting for his guidance.
He closed his eyes, seeing his father’s enraged face, hearing the threats he knew would soon materialize into actions. His fists clenched as he waited for the pain.
“Connor.”
Instead a soft, light touch on his face forced his eyelids to open, and he sank into the blazing blue eyes so close to his own.
“Connor. Forget the past.” Zoe’s lips moved against his ear as her whispered words penetrated the nightmare, releasing him from its horror.
She leaned back to look deeply into his eyes. “Can you help this child?”
Her fingers tightened against his face and he clung to her warmth.
“You can help this boy, Connor. I know you can.”
His lips longed to continue to taste hers but, while she severed their connection, her gaze stayed locked on him. Instead of the expected pain evoked by his memories, floundering confidence emerged.
“You know how to help him ’cause you’ve been there. You know what’s going on inside his head.” She kissed him again. “You can help him like no one else can, Connor.”
He clutched at her, dragging her close and burying his face against her neck as her words rolled around inside his head. She’s right. I know exactly how this boy feels, exactly how they all feel, all these kids getting abused by the people who should be protecting them.
A wave of heat traversed his body. He clung to Zoe as tremors threatened to take his legs from under him. Then with a shaky breath he slowly lifted his head from Zoe’s shoulder. I know how to get this boy’s confidence. By showing him I understand.
