"Okay, see you then."
I take a nap until my parents get home. I usually don't dream during naps but this time I did. I dreamed Wes and I were in California and he took me to see the ocean. I've never seen the ocean and I really want to. In my dream, we walked along the beach, holding hands. It was such a good dream I didn't want to wake up.
After dinner, Stella shows up. We go straight to my room and sit on my bed.
"Let me see the note," she demands, holding her hand out.
"I hid it. I don't want my parents finding it."
"So go get it! Hurry up!"
I go in my closet and get it, then bring it back to Stella. She holds it in front of her and reads it.
"This is soooo amazing." She falls back on my bed.
"What do you mean?"
She shoots back to a sitting position. "It's like he already knows you, like the REAL you! You just met the guy and he already knows you won't believe what he wrote, which is sooooo you. When someone gives you a compliment, you never believe it."
"That's not true."
"It totally is, and the fact he picked up on that so quickly is amazing. He's wise beyond his years," she says dramatically.
"I said the same thing! You should hear the things he talks about. All this stuff about not caring what people think and not letting them have power over you. And he actually follows his own advice. Jamie came by our table at lunch and called him a nerd and it didn't even bother him."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And then some girl called him a nerd for riding the bus, and again, he didn't even care."
"Maybe it bothers him but he hides it."
"I don't think so. In fact, it's almost like he welcomes their insults so he can show them how much he doesn't care. You should've seen how mad Jamie got when Wes didn't get mad about what she said."
"You should try that yourself. You need to stop listening to people at school. They only say that stuff because they know it bothers you. Did you tell Wes what people call you?"
"I didn't have to. Hunter and Jamie let him know."
"Oh." She cringes. "Sorry."
"At least I was there when it happened. I could explain the history behind it, which is better than having Jamie or Hunter do it."
"So he knows about your eyes?"
"No! I wouldn't tell him that. He doesn't need to know."
"But you said you told him about your nicknames."
"Yeah? So?"
"The lunatic one? It started because you can't see when it gets dark."
"Which nobody knows except you. And I'm not telling Wes, because like everyone else, it's none of his business."
"It is if you guys start dating and it gets serious."
"It won't get to that point. Maybe we'll go on a few dates but that's it. Nothing more."
"Luna, you gotta stop it with this gloom and doom thing. Even if your vision gets worse, you can't just stop living your life."
"I get that, but it's my life and my issue to deal with, not anyone else's. I'm not going to get involved with someone and then have him be forced to take care of me."
"If he loves you, he'll want to take care of you. And besides, if you lose your vision, you can still take care of yourself. You just have to learn new ways to do things."
Just thinking about the future makes me anxious because I have no idea what's going to happen. I could see okay for years or have my vision stolen from me tomorrow. There's no magic ball that'll tell me what's going to happen so I'm left wondering, worrying, knowing I should prepare for the worst but not wanting to.
"Why are we even talking about this?" I snatch Wes' note from her hand. "I haven't even gone on a date with the guy and you're already planning a future for us." I return the note to its hiding spot and go back to my bed to sit down.
"So tell me what else he said. Every word!" She crosses her legs in front of her, getting comfortable.
I start with chem class, telling her as much as I can remember, then I continue on to history class, then lunch.
"Wow." She takes a breath. "That's a lot for one day. That's equivalent to at least two dates, maybe three."
"Sitting in class together isn't a date. Neither is lunch in the cafeteria."
"It can be." She smiles. "If you skip lunch and make out."
"You make out with Sam in the cafeteria? Since when?"
"Not in the cafeteria! We go somewhere else. Remember when I told you about Sam sneaking me into the janitor's closet?"
"Yeah, I guess I do remember that."
"That was an example of a date during lunch."
"Speaking of dates, what am I going to do about Friday?"
"You'll have to either lie to him or tell him the truth."
"I can't tell him the truth."
"Why not? Why are you keeping this a secret? If you just told people what was going on, you'd never have to deal with people like Jamie again. The name-calling would stop. People would be nicer to you."
"Because they feel sorry for me? No. Forget it. The last thing I want is for people to be fake nice to me because they feel sorry for me."
"But Wes is different. He's not going to be that way."
"Maybe not, but he'll still treat me differently if he finds out."
"You don't know that."
"I DO know it because even my best friend treats me differently."
She stares at me and several moments of silence go by until she finally says, "I...I don't treat you differently."
"Yeah, you do. Ever since I told you, you've been constantly keeping an eye on me. You hold my arm and lead me around like I'm blind and I hate it." Tears sting my eyes because it hurts me to tell her this. "I know you're only trying to help but it needs to stop. You can't keep treating me this way."
A tear trickles down her cheek, making me feel even worse for telling her this but I have to. Holding this in the past year has been hurting our friendship. I've been mad at her and she doesn't even know why so I can't keep this from her any longer.
"What's even worse is when you pretend you don't want to do stuff you really want to do because of me. Because you know I can't do those things. Like the party on Friday. You weren't going to go because of me and that's not fair to you, Stella."
"I just didn't want you stuck at home all alone."
I smile, sniffling. "I know, and I love you for that, but you can't keep doing this. You have to live your life and not worry about me. Like you said, just because I'm losing my sight doesn't mean I can't take care of myself. I'll eventually have to change and make adjustments, which I can do. I have to. High school's eventually going to end and then you'll go off and marry Sam and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me living with you guys."
She laughs through her tears. "He wouldn't mind. He loves you." She takes a breath and wipes her tears. "I'm glad you told me this, because I swear, sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. I think I'm just trying to protect you and make sure nothing happens to you."
"I'll be fine. I promise." I go to my dresser and grab some tissues from the box and hand her some, taking a few for myself.
She dabs her eyes. "I can still give you dating advice, right?"
I laugh. "Yes. I'm a disaster when it comes to that. I've only been on a few dates and none of them were good."
"Because the guys were all immature. Wes is different." She looks at me. "He's going to be good for you, Luna. I can already tell."
"How?"
"I just can. So don't push him away. I know you're afraid and I know you don't want to tell him stuff but maybe just think about it. Get to know him better and maybe you'll find that you'll want to tell him the truth."
I don't think that'll ever happen but I would like to get to know Wes better. Maybe we could go out during the day, or maybe to dinner. The days are still long. It doesn't get dark until late so there are plenty of options for going out.
"What'd you decide?" Stella asks.
"About what?"
"You were thinki
ng about Wes just now. I could tell. So were you thinking you're going to go out with him?"
"Maybe." I smile.
"In Luna-speak, that's a yes."
"What do you mean?"
"You never commit to anything so a maybe for you is as good as a yes."
"Okay, fine, it's a yes."
"It's only the first day and you already have someone to date!" she squeals. "This is going to be an awesome year!"
***
The next day Wes shows up to class wearing light-colored pants, a white t-shirt, and a plaid blazer. Today he has glasses on that have thick black frames. Everyone stares at him as he walks in. If he was going for the nerd look, he accomplished his goal. Today's outfit is even odder than yesterday's, and he's still carrying that briefcase.
I actually like his look. Yeah, it's nerdy, but in a hip, cool way. And with that sexy smile of his and those beautiful eyes, I barely notice his strange taste in clothes.
"Geek," a girl mutters as he walks past. The girls next to her laugh.
The guy behind her says, "No wonder Henderson stuck him back there with the Lunatic."
The girls laugh even harder.
Wes just keeps walking as if he didn't hear them.
"Hey, Luna." He smiles as he sets his briefcase down.
I point to it. "Are you going to use that all year?"
He takes his seat. "Why do you ask?"
"It looks heavy and you can't fit it in your locker."
"It fits, just not very well. I have to shove it in there." He leans over and says in a low voice. "To answer your question, I won't be using it all year."
"Then why are you using it now?"
Mr. Henderson's voice booms through the class. "What's this?"
I look up and see him standing at the table next to mine, holding a piece of paper while looking down at Josh, one of the football players.
"It was a joke," Josh mumbles.
"You think this is funny?" Henderson asks.
Josh smirks. "Kind of."
"Get up," Henderson orders in an angry tone.
"Why am I in trouble? I wasn't even the one who drew it."
"Then who did it?"
"Kobie."
"What the fuck, man?" I hear Kobie say. He's also on the football team and sitting two tables up from mine.
"Was it you?" Henderson asks.
"Yeah, but," Kobie glances back at me, "I wasn't going to show them."
I catch a glimpse of the piece of paper Henderson is holding. From what I can see, it's a cartoon drawing of Wes on top of me, like we're having sex, except he's dressed and I'm not. I don't get it. Is that supposed to mean we're too stupid to know how sex works or too innocent to actually do it?
You can't see much of me in the drawing except for some skinny arms and legs. And for my head, he's drawn my lips like fish lips. Like a tuna. Wes is dressed in pants and a long sleeve shirt and he's holding onto his briefcase as he lies over me. There's writing above us that I think says Geek Sex.
"Detention," Henderson says. "For both of you. For the entire week."
"But we have practice," Josh protests.
Henderson rips up the piece of paper as he walks to the front of the room. "Because of that disruption, we're behind schedule. I was going to do one of your homework questions here in class but now you'll have to do it on your own."
The class groans and the guy next to Kobie shoves his shoulder and says, "Shithead."
"Wasn't MY fault," he says. "Fuckin' Josh is the one who took it out."
"Quiet!" Henderson says as he returns to the back of the room. "Anyone else who talks out of turn will be getting detention."
Wow. He's really mad. He was in a good mood before class started, smiling and greeting people as they walked in. But now he's pissed.
Looking over at Wes, I see him concentrating on whatever's on his laptop, like he didn't even notice what was going on.
Class continues so I don't have a chance to talk to Wes until we're walking to history.
"Are you mad about what happened?" I ask, raising my voice so he can hear me through the loud, crowded hallway.
"You mean the picture?" he asks.
"Yeah. Did you see it?"
"I glanced at it."
"And it didn't bother you?"
"No," he says as we turn down the walkway that connects us to the other building. "Oh, I almost forgot. I can't have lunch with you today."
So he IS mad. He's just not admitting it. He's finding out being friends with me means he'll get picked on for the rest of high school. He's ditching me in case there's a chance he can still salvage his image.
"Okay," I mutter. "I understand."
We're at the door now and he stops. "What do you mean?"
I point to the classroom. "We should go sit down."
"Tell me what you meant by that."
"We're gonna be late." I turn to go in the classroom but he grasps my hand.
"Luna, wait."
I look down at our joined hands. I haven't held hands with a guy for over a year. That's when I found out about my eyes and when I stopped dating. But now? Feeling Wes' hand around mine I realize how much I've missed having a guy hold my hand.
"Come here." He takes a step back into the hall and moves us over a little so we're not by the door.
"What are you doing?"
"Tell me what you meant just now."
"I..." I look around, avoiding his stare. "It was nothing. Can we just go to class? I don't want detention for being late."
"You said you understood why I can't have lunch with you. What did you mean by that?"
I shrug. "I get it, okay? And it doesn't matter. I'm fine with it."
I'm really not but there's no point in telling him that. Our friendship, if that's what it was, is over now and I'd rather just move on then stand here talking about it.
"Fine with what?"
"The bell's going to ring. We're going to get in trouble."
"Then just tell me so we can go."
I sigh. "I know why you can't have lunch with me."
Chapter Six
"And? What is it?" Wes folds his arms and leans against the wall, facing me. I look up at him, and even with those goofy glasses, he's still hot. Not the typical muscle-guy hot, but smart, studious hot, which is exactly my type. I didn't know that until yesterday when I met him and my body started reacting in ways it hadn't ever reacted before. It's doing it again now because he's standing really close—so close I can smell his cologne.
The bell rings.
"We have to go." I turn, and he grabs my backpack, stopping me.
"Just answer the question."
I turn back, sighing. "You don't want to be around me anymore because you know it'll ruin the rest of high school for you. You've seen how people treat me and you know hanging out with me would be social suicide."
"You got all that from me telling you I couldn't have lunch today?"
"You saw the picture Josh had. People are already making fun of you because of me. And it's not just the picture. People are calling you names. Talking behind your back. But if you get away from me now, you might be able to stop all that and save your reputation before it's too late." I hear the teacher talking and look back and see the classroom door closing. "We're late. We have to get in there."
"Independent study."
"What?" I ask, turning back to him.
"I'm doing a kind of...independent study during lunch. It starts today. It'll be a few times a week, so I can still have lunch with you, just not every day."
"Oh," I say, now regretting having given him that long-winded speech about him not wanting to hang around me anymore.
"As for what you said, it wasn't true. I'd never stop doing something because other people were telling me I shouldn't. I don't care what people say about me. If I want to be your friend, I will, and if people have a problem with that, then they're not the type of people I'd want to be friends with. I'm not going to change who I am to pleas
e them. Their opinion of me doesn't matter. Your opinion does matter, but I'd like you to get to know me before you make those opinions, and before assuming how I'd react in a situation. Ideally, I'd like it if you didn't assume at all because chances are, your assumptions will be wrong."
Even more embarrassed by the speech I made, I turn away and say, "We really have to get to class."
He walks around me and goes to the classroom door and opens it. I follow him in as he goes up to the teacher who's writing something on the board.
"Sorry we're late," Wes says to him. "My locker was stuck and Luna was helping me. We got here as fast as we could."
"It's fine," Mr. Combs says. "Take your seats."
Wes shoots me a smile as we walk to our row. He just lied to the teacher. After making us late to class.
He has a bad boy side to him. I wouldn't have thought that. I thought he was more of a rule follower. Another wrong assumption. I'm finding I've made a lot of wrong assumptions about this guy.
We take our seats and I get my history book out.
"How do geeks have sex?" I hear the guy behind me ask with a laugh. I think he's talking to his friend. "Do they even know how?"
The other guy laughs. "Who the fuck knows, but if I were him I wouldn't be doin' it with Tuna. The girl can't even walk without bumping into shit. She'll break his dick trying to have sex with him."
"As long as she falls on his dick in the right—"
"Shut up!" I say, whipping around to face them. I know I should ignore them but I couldn't stand hearing them say that stuff about me.
"Luna," Wes calmly says. "They're not worth it."
"Aww...isn't that sweet?" the girl next to Wes says. It's Marcy. She tortured me in middle school. "Geek boy likes the Lunatic."
Wes ignores her, staring straight ahead at the board. Mr. Combs turns to the class and says something about a quiz coming up. I can't pay attention. I keep thinking about what those guys said, and what Marcy said. And earlier, in chem class, people were snickering while glancing back at Wes and me. It's only the second day of class and I'm already being talked about and made fun of.
Last year, I kept to myself and did everything possible to go unnoticed so people would leave me alone, and for the most part it worked. I'd planned to do the same this year, but meeting Wes changed all that. Now, just being around him has made me a target again. So maybe I'm the one who needs to get away from him in order to make this stop. I don't want to have to do that but it's better than being ridiculed all year.
The Geek and The Goddess Page 5
