I snorted. “A break? Yeah, right.” Kandra didn’t come to the table this time, but what about next time? What about tomorrow? There was no way I could avoid her forever. Unless she got fired, but even then, I’d probably just bump into her around town. If I was truly lucky, she would move away again.
Bayden stood up and walked toward Angie.
Ethan tried to grab him again, but he evaded capture.
“He’s tenacious,” I said.
Ethan turned to face me. “He’s a pain in the ass.” He took a drink of his beer. “You never told us why you cut out early today.”
I was glad to steer the conversation in a direction that wasn’t Kandra. “It’s two years tomorrow.” I didn’t need to remind him, because he already knew.
He lifted his head. “You visit him?”
It was what I did. I sat down every year next to his granite headstone and talked to my dad.
“I should have known.” Ethan sounded disappointed. “You know, you can talk to us.”
We’d been over this before. “I know. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to suffer alone.” The raw note in his voice said he was grieving too. Because I was the oldest and had more years with dad, I think I took it the hardest.
This time of the year was difficult for all of us, and we dealt with it in our own private ways.
I withdrew, Ethan pretended nothing happened, Bayden grew sullen, and Quinn … well, I had no idea how he handled things because nothing ever seemed to faze him. Though I knew it had devastated him, he seemed to have bounced back rather nicely.
“Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say.
He seemed to sober up as he watched Bayden talk to Angie. “Two years,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to me.
Time marched on as if our entire world hadn’t been shaken to the core by the loss. Only two people had ever broken me; one couldn’t help it, and the other was pulling beers at the taps. Seeing Kandra was an aftershock I didn’t need today.
Chapter Two
Kandra
There’s a saying that a person should never cross the same bridge twice, but what if the only open bridge leads to Cross Creek and the only job I can find lands me in Roy’s?
Stinging bile backed up in my throat, singeing my tonsils, and my chest burned like I’d taken a shot of molten lava. Leaning a hip against the bar, I sucked in a deep breath as the wave of nausea eased and then reared back up with a vengeance. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking as a case of nerves hit me hard.
I’d already broken one glass, but thankfully Roy was a kind man who encouragingly told me to try again.
I was determined to make the best of my new start in my old hometown.
“Table three needs a beer and a white wine.” Roy hurried off, and I turned to stare at the liquor wall. I glanced over my shoulder at table three and instantly recognized Norman and Ethel. A smile crossed my lips. Knowing the old couple since birth, I guessed Ethel would want something fresh and fruity, while Norman probably wanted something bitter to match his disposition. He was always a prickly one. Quickly filling the glasses and moving carefully so I didn’t break something else, I carried them to the table.
Ethel’s sparkling eyes lit up when she saw me. “Is that little Kandra Sullivan?”
I smiled and placed their drinks in front of them. “Not so little anymore.”
Norman snorted. “The girl’s all grown up, Ethel.”
“She’s still a baby to me.” Ethel’s kind tone and warm smile made me feel welcomed home. She stood up and tugged me to her ample bosom for a warm hug. “How is your mother?”
“She’s good.” It was merely a conversation starter since Ethel had seen more of my mother in the last decade than I had. Ten years … had it really been that long?
“Better now that her baby is home, I’m sure.” Ethel gave me another squeeze, then sat back down. “Sit with us.” She patted the worn seat beside her, but I shook my head. Scanning for Roy, I spotted him wink and then smile at me.
“I’m supposed to be working.” I laid my index finger over my lips and made a shh sound. “Don’t tell my boss I’m over here talking to the cutest couple in the place.”
“Oh, you’re so sweet!” Ethel laughed as Norman guzzled his beer.
“You know, in my day, we’d drink these in the boat while fishing in Aspen Cove.” His gaze misted over.
Ethel touched his hand. “You can go fishing if you want, dear.” Her sweet voice moved through me like warm syrup.
He eyed her with a confused look on his face. “Why the hell would I want to do that? It’s cold out there on the water, and the damn fish don’t bite no more. I went for the beer, anyway.”
I giggled because I hadn’t realized how much I missed the people in this town, even the crotchety ones. Time had a way of softening the hard edges of life.
“You have a beer.” She nodded at his hand, and he looked down at it.
He took another drink, and Ethel pressed her lips together and then shook her head. “Did you meet anyone special while you were away?” she asked.
“That’s something we’ll have to talk about later,” I said, already retreating. “I think Roy just hollered at me.” He hadn’t, but I wanted to avoid any talk about me and men. There was no use airing my dirty laundry, that wasn’t my style. I was more of a suffer in silence kind of girl.
“We’re glad you’re back.” Ethel’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “You’ll have to meet my grandson, I imagine he’s about your age now.”
Norman let out a loud noise that sounded something like, “Huh?”
Ethel leaned forward. “I’m saying she should meet our grandson.” On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the loudest, Ethel had pitched to a seven.
“Which one?” His loud, gravelly voice didn’t seem out of place in the bar. Over at her table, Gypsy laughed and talked to another group while several guys sang to the jukebox. Everyone was jockeying to be heard.
Ethel leaned toward her husband an inch more. “Roger.”
Norman shook his head. “The kid wouldn’t be into her.”
Ethel snapped back like she’d been slapped.
Norman continued. “Trust me, she’s not his type. She’s got a job and a brain.”
“How about Kingston?” She wasn’t giving up.
“He’s too young for her. Let the woman meet someone on her own, Ethel, don’t play matchmaker.” He downed his beer, and I picked up the empty glass.
“Another?” I asked, relieved for the chance to slip away.
“Huh?” He stared at me like he hadn’t heard what I said, and it dawned on me that it wasn’t the din of the bar, but Norman was hard of hearing.
I wiggled his glass, and he nodded.
“Do you need another wine?” I asked Ethel.
The thick scent of garlic and butter hit my nose, causing my stomach to twist. Not garlic. Please, not garlic. Over the last few weeks I’d found I couldn’t tolerate the smell. I held my breath and waited for her answer.
“No, dear.” Ethel lifted her nose in the air and inhaled. “Some of Roy’s famous garlic knots would be wonderful, though.”
“Garlic knots,” Norman said, holding up two fingers. “Did you want some too?” he asked his wife. She sighed and crossed her arms, a knowing smile on her face. Without missing a beat, he glanced up at me and lifted another finger, “Three orders. The lady would like some too.”
I laughed as I left the table. They were adorable and had the kind of love I longed for. The sort of relationship I thought I’d had, but I’d been wrong.
With efficiency, I refilled Norman’s beer. When I dropped it back at their table, I caught them deep in conversation.
“Forty years of marriage, and we still have things to talk about.” Ethel squeezed his hand.
“That’s amazing.”
“We’re going to take a pottery class. You should join us. It would give you a chance to meet new people.” Ethel’s h
opeful expression tugged at my heart.
“Oh, I don’t know. I already broke a glass.” I gestured over my shoulder, my cheeks heating as I thought about my mistake. “Maybe I should stay away from pottery.” I couldn’t help but notice the adoring look on Norman’s face as he stared at his wife. I’d give anything to have someone look at me like that.
“Oh, don’t you worry, girl. We’ll keep you from breaking things.” Ethel chuckled, and I tried to think of a diplomatic way out of the invitation.
“Let the girl get back to work.” Norman winked at me. “I think you owe us some knots.”
I breathed a sigh of relief at the save.
“We’ll touch base soon,” Ethel said with a double wink, not to be outdone by her husband.
“Let her catch her breath before you go pushing boys on her. As pretty as she is, she likely has enough admirers.” The words were barely out of Norman’s mouth when a familiar voice sounded behind me.
“Kandra? Is that you?”
I smoothed a trembling hand down the front of my apron, put on my game face smile, and spun around.
Benji’s curly brown hair had lengthened a bit and sprung away from his head a good three or four inches. His brown eyes bored into mine, and he stepped in and wrapped me in a tight hug.
“Welcome back.”
I patted his shoulder awkwardly.
He stepped away and took both my hands in his. Excitement crackled like electricity in his eyes, and his warm fingers squeezed mine.
“It’s good to see you.” I gave a smile, hoping I sounded sincere. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Benji, it’s that I didn’t have the energy to deal with him.
“It’s so good.” He pulled me into another tight hug.
I stood there, stiff and uncomfortable, until his arms loosened. He stepped back and planted both hands on my shoulders. “We have to get together soon.”
“Sure,” I nodded, “but I’m working right now, so I should get back to it.” Flashing a bright smile I didn’t feel inside, I tried to shrug him off and leave, but his fingertips tightened, holding me captive. I met his stare head-on.
“Let me give you my number.” His happy expression seemed frozen on his face, and a chill swept down my spine.
“That would be great.” I passed him a napkin from my apron pocket, and he stared at it like I’d given him a germ infested rag.
“Don’t you have a cell phone?”
Thinking fast, I nodded. “Yeah, but I’m not allowed to have it at work, so it’s turned off and in my locker.” I didn’t like lying, but something about Benji seemed off. Upon reflection, something about him was always off.
“Can you get table eight another round?” Roy’s voice was like a life preserver hitting the open ocean while I was drowning in the depths.
“Of course. Sorry for standing around.” I smiled at Benji. “I have to go. Don’t want to get fired on my first day.” Before he could respond, I rushed off, with Roy a step behind me.
“Thank you.” I wasn’t sure why I was thanking him, but it seemed right.
“No worries. If I didn’t step in and do something, table eight was going to.” He offered me the tray of beers, and I balanced it, praying I wouldn’t drop anything.
Focused on my task, it took a moment for me to realize what he’d said. If he hadn’t stepped in, table eight would have. Who was at table eight?
I tilted my chin up high and scanned the tables. When my eyes landed on eight, my blood froze to ice in my veins, and my legs stopped working. I stood there, staring at him. Noah.
Was he the one who would have stepped in if Roy hadn’t?
His bright blue eyes met mine. The contrast of his dark hair and light eyes had always mesmerized me, but the boy I’d known in school had grown into a man—a handsome man, though he’d always been dangerously good-looking.
The slight curl to his lips and the cold hue of his eyes hit me like a tidal wave. Again, that drowning sensation washed over me, and I gasped in a breath.
Somehow I managed to coax my legs into moving and walked toward him, but every step might as well have been one closer to my undoing. I slogged forward like I was approaching a hangman’s noose, ready to pay for all my crimes. Crimes I committed against Noah. Not literal, law-breaking ones, but crimes of the heart—crimes of love.
That day played in my mind like a high definition movie.
“Noah, I love you, but I can’t stay here in Cross Creek. I have dreams. I want to see the world, I want to be a photographer, and I can’t do that if I’m here.” Walking away from him was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I couldn’t risk staying and then resenting him if I couldn’t pursue my dreams. An ocean rained from my eyes as I left him there by the creek, holding a ring that I didn’t even look at.
My cheeks stung red hot as his gaze moved over me like he was taking stock and then met mine again. That cruel chill still shone brightly from his eyes. He wasn’t the only Lockhart gawking; his brothers were studying me too.
I’d been in love with Noah, but Ethan, Quinn, and Bayden had always treated me like family. Seeing them made me realize how much I missed them.
An uncomfortable tingle danced over my skin, leaving undulating waves of prickling heat and icy chill behind. I imagined that this is what sticking a fork in a light socket felt like. My chest contracted painfully like it was trying to squeeze the life from me. My stomach twisted into knots that were less fluffy and airy than Roy’s garlic treats.
A cruel smile tugged the corners of Noah’s lips as I approached with the speed of a slug.
While he had every right to be, was he still angry at me after all these years? Something about Roy’s statement wasn’t meshing in my brain. I couldn’t entertain the thought of him standing up to Benji for me while still being mad at me for the past.
Sure, Noah had always been a good guy, but would he defend the honor of a woman who had no honor to speak of?
Dark spots swam before my eyes, and I adjusted the tray in my aching arm while begging myself not to faint.
I was back in Cross Creek, freshly dumped, alone, and standing in front of my first love, who stared at me like I was something someone had dragged in on the bottom of their shoe.
Chapter Three
Noah
“She’s almost here.” Quinn’s voice stayed in rhythm with his tap on Ethan’s shoulder. Bayden sat sullenly after his conversation with Angie, but my eyes were on Kandra.
Tomorrow was the anniversary of the most tragic loss of my life, and it coincided with the woman I’d loved—the one who tore my heart out—showing back up in our hometown.
Could my day get any worse?
What next? Was I about to fall out of my chair from a heart attack? An aneurysm, maybe?
I finished my beer and watched her approach. Her “deer in the headlights” expression didn’t change one bit as she inched our way. She pressed her full, red lips together into a tight line, then released them. When the blood rushed back, they appeared redder—the color of succulent overripe strawberries.
Kandra knew all the tricks of the trade. The woman who left wanting to be a photographer became a model instead, so the whole lip thing was no accident. How many men fell for those soulful eyes and kissable lips?
I scrubbed my face with my palm. What did it matter? Everything she ever told me, everything she’d claimed to aspire to, was all bullshit. I could put a rock in a pretty box, but at the end of the day, it was still just a rock. Pretty on the outside doesn’t mean the inside matches.
I had nothing against attractive women or modeling as a profession, but I didn’t like being lied to, manipulated, or tricked by someone who claimed to love me.
Her aquamarine eyes locked on to my face and silently begged me not to make a scene. How was it that, after all these years, I could still read her expressions, but she obviously never really knew me if she thought I was the kind of guy to cause trouble.
“Be cool.” Quinn elbowed Ethan, who let out a s
tunned grunt. “But not too cool. She’s Noah’s, remember.”
“She’s not mine,” I grumbled under my breath. Maybe she had been once when we were kids. Back then, I’d given her my heart, but Kandra Sullivan didn’t love men for who they were, she loved men for what they could give her, and I failed to give her the things she thought she needed, so she abandoned me.
She was so close her sweet perfume tickled my nose. It was something citrusy, like tangerines mixed with peaches.
“We have to be at work early.” Ethan’s chair scraped the wooden floor as he pushed back and stood up. I glanced at him as he tossed cash onto the table—more than enough to cover his beers. With a nod, he walked toward the door.
Bayden downed the rest of his beer, thumped the mug on the tabletop, and rose. “I need to get home and grab a shower. I’ve got a hot date tonight.”
“Yeah, with your right hand.” Quinn’s teasing earned him a sharp glare.
Bayden paid his portion and left a tip before heading for the door right on Ethan’s heels.
Quinn flashed me a salute. “I just remembered, I have plans tonight.” He laid a few bills on the table while his gaze slid side to side like the eyes on the Kit-Cat clock. “Have a good one.”
Without another word, or giving me a chance to say anything, he all but ran for the door, leaving me alone.
I turned in time to see Kandra stop in front of me. She inhaled, inflating her ribs—no doubt to make me notice her assets, which were still nice, but I wasn’t going to get sucked into her games ever again.
Standing there, she gripped the tray so tightly her fingers blanched. Her lips curved into a smile that trembled at the corners.
“They sure scattered in a hurry.” Her voice wobbled at first, but quickly gained confidence. “Like mice running from a cat.”
The attempt at humor fell flat, and I didn’t respond. What was there to say? Yeah, my brothers took off and left me because they didn’t know what really happened between us when we dated. They didn’t know the truth, and they thought there was some chance we’d get back together. They couldn’t be more wrong.
Broken Hart (A Cross Creek Small Town Novel Book 1) Page 2
