by Tana Reiff
I hated it.”
“What are you
going to do now?”
Abby asked.
Biff began to cry.
He dropped down
to the floor,
on his knees,
his head bent down.
At first,
he couldn’t talk.
Then he said,
“Abby, do you think
I have a drinking problem?”
“Do you think
you have
a drinking problem?”
she asked back.
“Yes, Baby,”
said Biff,
in a soft voice
that Abby
could hardly hear.
She said nothing.
“Maybe I could fix
the drinking,”
Biff went on.
“Then I could fix
the other problems.
But I don’t know
about AA.
I don’t know
if I buy
that 12-step thing.”
“Take what you want
and leave the rest,”
said Abby.
Then Biff said,
“I don’t know
if I want
to go to meetings.
AA is for bums.”
“That’s not true,”
said Abby.
“You might be shocked
to see who goes to AA.”
Chapter 8
Biff headed
for his first meeting.
On the way,
he almost turned back.
But he kept going
until he got there.
The room
was full.
Biff looked around.
He saw
all kinds of people.
He spotted
a few faces
that he knew.
Back in the corner
was a doctor
he had gone to.
In the front
was a young woman.
She used to hang out
at the pub.
A man stood up.
“Let’s get started,”
he said.
“My name is Freddie
and I’m an alcoholic.”
Everyone got quiet.
Then Freddie
led the group
in a prayer.
Biff wasn’t so sure
he liked that.
But he went along
with the others.
Then a young woman
stood up.
“My name is Sarah
and I’m an alcoholic.”
She told
what had happened
the night before.
She had
almost taken a drink.
She had stopped herself.
“So I’ve been sober
for 30 days!”
she said proudly.
Everyone clapped
as Sarah picked up
her 30-days chip.
She knew
all about using chips
in card games.
The chips
at the AA meeting
had a whole new meaning.
Then Biff stood up.
He heard himself saying,
“I’m Biff
and I’m an alcoholic.”
Then he told his story.
Right out loud.
In front of everyone.
The last thing
he said was,
“I have
a drinking problem.
I want to change.
I don’t want to be
the way I have been.”
“We all know
how you feel,”
a man said.
“Just remember this.
You have no power
over alcohol.
It will hurt you
until it kills you.
You, my friend,
need a new way of life.”
That was all he said.
No one gave Biff
a long speech.
Biff sat down.
He smiled.
He got back up
and grabbed
a cup of coffee.
And then he listened
to other people’s stories.
Chapter 9
As soon as Biff
left the meeting,
he wanted a drink.
He headed
straight to the pub.
He stepped
up to the door.
He reached
for the door handle.
And then
he stopped himself.
He turned around
and went home.
“Abby! Abby!”
he called out.
“I did it!”
He lifted her
off the floor.
He started
to swing her around.
“Did what?”
Abby laughed.
“Abby, I went
to a meeting,”
said Biff.
“It was okay.
It really was.
Then I went
to the pub.
But I didn’t go in!
I stopped myself.
Isn’t that great?”
“That’s really great,”
said Abby.
“That makes me
very happy.”
“Me, too,”
said Biff.
“But I’m scared.
I don’t know
if I can keep this up.”
“You can,”
said Abby.
“I know you can.”
“Every day
will be a big step,”
said Biff.
Abby and Biff
made dinner together.
They had not done that
for a long, long time.
After dinner
they washed dishes.
“We’re in this together,”
Biff said.
“Washing dishes
or no drinking?”
laughed Abby.
“Both,” said Biff.
“And, Baby,
I’m so glad
you and I
are together.”
“Tell me more,”
said Abby.
“I like you
like this.”
Chapter 10
Biff went
to another meeting
the next day.
And the next.
And the next.
In a week
he got his 7-days chip.
“But it’s so hard,”
he told the group.
“I’m out of a job.
I’m afraid
that alcohol
will get me
before I can get
a new job.”
An older man
handed Biff
a little card.
It was the same
as the big sign
on the wall.
“Read this,”
said the man.
“Remember these lines
when you feel down.”
Biff read the card.
He burned every word
into his mind.
Just for today:
I will live
through this day only.
I will not tackle
all my problems at once.
Just for today:
I will be happy.
Just for today:
I will fit myself
to what is,
not to my own wishes.
I will take my luck
as it comes,
and fit myself to it.
Just for today:
I will make
&nbs
p; my mind stronger.
I will study.
I will learn something useful.
Just for today:
I will make
my soul better.
I will do somebody
a good turn
and not get found out.
I will do
at least two things
I don’t want to do.
Just for today:
I will be and look
as well as I can.
I will not try
to work on
anybody but myself.
Just for today:
I will have a plan.
I may not follow it
just right,
but I will have it.
Just for today:
I will have
a quiet half hour
all by myself.
Just for today:
I will not be afraid.
Most of all,
I will not be afraid
to enjoy what is beautiful.
As I give
to the world,
so the world
will give to me.
Just for today:
those words
made Biff
feel so much better.
Just reading
those words
was good for his soul.
He tucked the card
in his wallet.
On the way out,
he stopped
the older man.
“Will you be
my sponsor?”
Biff asked him.
“I will,”
said the man.
“My name is Henry.
Here’s my card.
Call me anytime,
night or day.”
“Hey, thanks, man!”
said Biff.
He put the number
in his wallet
with the card.
From the meeting,
Biff went to a flower shop.
He felt like
getting a present
for Abby.
He had flowers
sent to her,
with no card.
Abby would know
the flowers were from him.
Maybe this “good turn”
wouldn’t count.
So he stopped
at a coffee shop.
He bought one cup
and paid for two.
“Do something for me,”
Biff said
to the counter guy.
“Give a free cup of coffee
to someone who needs it.
Okay, buddy?”
From there,
Biff headed off
to the career office.
Chapter 11
The woman
at the career office
asked Biff
what he liked to do
and what he
was good at.
“I like machines,”
said Biff.
“And I like
to make things work.
But in a factory
you never see
how things come out.
You only see parts.”
“Might you like
fixing office machines?”
asked the woman.
“There is a growing need
for people in this field.”
“That’s a great idea,”
said Biff.
“Can I get some training?”
“Yes, you can,”
said the woman.
Biff remembered
some of the things
on the AA card.
... I will live
through this day only.
... I will be happy.
... I will learn something useful.
... I will have a plan.
... I will not be afraid.
Learning how
to fix office machines
fit the bill.
“So far,
I’m doing okay,”
he said,
very low.
“What did you say?”
asked the woman.
“Oh, nothing,”
said Biff.
“I’m just thinking
out loud.
How can I sign up
for the training course?”
“You can sign up
right here,”
the woman said.
So Biff signed up
on the spot.
Then he left
the career office.
He wanted
to go home.
He wanted
a half hour
all by himself.
Chapter 12
The training course
lasted only a few weeks.
Biff caught on fast.
He learned
to spot trouble
inside an office machine.
And then he learned
how to fix it.
So he soon found
a job in the field.
The rest of his training
would be on the job.
It was a good day
when Biff found out
about the job.
But not for long.
Biff was so happy
that he did
what he always did
to mark a happy time.
He went
to the pub
to tip a glass.
He didn’t even think.
He just walked in
and ordered a drink.
He sat with Jerry
for hours.
Before Biff knew it,
he was
falling down drunk.
The bartender
called a cab
for Biff.
He crawled
into the car,
feeling like the biggest fool
in the whole world.
Abby was not pleased.
Nor was she surprised.
She had been waiting
for this day.
She helped Biff
to bed.
He was asleep
as soon as his head
hit the pillow.
Then morning came.
“What have I done?”
Biff cried to Abby.
“I can’t believe
I went to the pub.
I’m so so so sorry.”
“You’re human,”
Abby said,
with love in her voice.
“You had a slip.
We all stumble
sometimes.”
She gave him
a long hug.
Biff pulled
Henry’s number
out of his wallet.
He turned over
the little card.
He looked
at the number again.
And then he called.
Henry did his job
as a sponsor.
He listened.
He talked Biff down.
He told Biff
to read the card
and the books
from AA.
Then Henry said,
“See you tomorrow
at the meeting.”
And he did.
Biff was there,
good as new.
“My name is Biff,
and I’m an alcoholic.”
He went on
to tell about his slip.
“I don’t know why
I messed up,”
he said.
The group
helped him
think it out.
The day after that,
Biff went
to the meeting
to pick up
his 24-hours chip.
Chapter 13
Biff picked up
And then he got
his 7-days chip.
And his 30-days chip.
He kept on going
to meetings.
After some time
he did not go every day.
But he did go
two or three times
every week.
He had not seen
his friend Jerry
from the pub
since the night
of his slip.
Then one night
there was Jerry,
at a meeting.
It was great
to see him.
Biff had missed
his old friend.
He just couldn’t go
to the pub.
And that was where
Jerry could always be found.
Until now.
After the meeting,
Biff and Jerry
went out
for a cup of coffee.
They started
going for coffee
after all the meetings.
Some days
they went out
for a bite to eat.
Sometimes, other people
came along.
Biff was having
a good time.
He didn’t even notice
the good times came
without a drink.
And without
a bad stomach.
And without
a bad hangover.
And with a good job
to go to the next day.
At home,
making dinner with Abby
became an every night thing.
They tried new dishes
and gained a few pounds.
For both Biff and Abby,
it was the best time
of the day.
One night
Abby asked Biff
a question.
“Do you think
you’ll ever drink again?”
“I don’t want to, Baby,”
said Biff.
“But I can’t look
that far ahead.
I’ll think about tomorrow
when it gets here.
Right now,
I’m living
just for today.
One day at a time.
In the present.
Because right now
is all there is.
You know what I mean?”
“I do,”
said Abby.
“Just for today.”
They lifted
their water glasses.
“To today,”
said Biff.
“To today,”
said Abby.
Then they tapped
their glasses together
in a toast to today.
