Copyright © 2013 by A. E. Woodward
Cover Design by Sarah Hansen, Okay Creations
Editing by Ryn Hughes, Delphi Rose
Interior design by Angela McLaurin, Fictional Formats
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.
All rights reserved.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Acknowledgements
About the Author
“Tell your Mommy and Daddy to go get a room,” I cooed. Pausing from my playtime, I lifted my head and smirked playfully at Emma as she and Shane finally broke their embrace. I had to hand it them, they did their best to not overwhelm us with their PDAs, but whenever they did Rob and I seized the opportunity to harass them about it. Of course, Rob was usually a little cruder than I was, but it was all in good fun … for the most part.
I stood from the floor, where I had been laying with Felix. He screeched with delight, but my muscles ached from the thirty-odd minutes I had laid there, just letting him crawl over me. I loved that little guy, and he sure brought a lot of joy into the condo—even if it meant that he somehow simultaneously sucked the life out of it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t bitching … at all. Well, maybe just a little bit. Things were definitely different, which was to be expected. You couldn’t throw a kid into a condo with four adults and expect for things to stay the same, obviously. And in the six months that had passed since Felix was born we’d made many memories. It was fun watching him develop into his own little person. He looked so much like Shane it was scary, and from what we could tell his personality was about the same. He was kicked back and easy-going. Seriously, the kid rarely cried. It was almost freaky. But, of course, with those memories came changes as well. Beer was harder to come by and the swear jar that had once overflowed with dollar bills remained empty—replaced by a cussword spelling bee. In fact, we were going to be in serious shit once the kid learned how to spell.
“Seriously, guys, don’t you ever get sick of each other?” I asked, pushing past them to get to the kitchen. I didn’t bother to wait for an answer. What was the point? I knew what they would say. They didn’t, and it was sickening. A good year and a half had passed since the two lovebirds finally figured out they were meant for each other, yet they still acted like lovesick puppy dogs. But that wasn’t really what was eating at me. My anger was being displaced, and I didn’t really know why.
Okay, that was a lie. I knew exactly why I was being a Debbie-Downer.
I opened the fridge and prayed to the good Lord above that there would be some beer stocked. I dug around for a moment before throwing a silent celebration as I grabbed the last one from the door.
Slamming the fridge shut, I turned my attention back to Emma. She must have sensed my tension and, scooping Felix up off the ground, she asked, “What’s your problem? She began swaying back and forth with Felix on her hip. It was a sight that still seemed foreign to me—I just couldn’t get used to seeing her in her new role. There was no doubt that she’d turned out to be a great mother. In fact, she was almost neurotic with her breast-feeding, cloth diapering, and homemade baby food.
“I’m just busting your A-S-S. Relax would you.” I cracked open the beer and took a long haul. The fact of the matter was that I was annoyed at everything. Things weren’t going so great for me. Work sucked as much as ever, despite busting my ass—and kissing everyone else’s—and I was just as broke as I had been eight years ago. There seemed to be no hope for me to ever further my career. Then, adding insult to injury, I couldn’t seem to find a girl that didn’t drive me nuts. Don’t get me wrong, I had no problems finding someone who would be willing for a good romp, but they always annoyed the shit out of me and I was ready for them to leave as soon as we finished. It would seem I’d peaked years ago, because it had been downhill from there.
I felt Shane and Emma’s eyes burning on me as I took long silent hauls off my beer. “Want to head down to grab a couple beers at McFadden’s?” Shane finally questioned, sensing that there must be a reason for my frustration.
Before I could muster an answer, Emma threw her two cents in. “That would be nice,” she added. “Felix and I could use some alone time, couldn’t we?” I watched as she smothered the baby in kisses while continuing to talk to him in her annoying baby voice.
I rolled my eyes before sharing a look with Shane, who also seemed to be looking for an escape from reality for a bit. I took it as my cue and downed the remainder of my beer then nodded towards the door. Shane was immediately on board, and quickly gave Emma and Felix goodbye kisses on their foreheads.
“Rob’s gonna be pissed he missed a night out,” I said. He was always razzing us to go out but none of us could seem to find the gumption to go, so he usually went out alone. I wasn’t even sure where he was—probably working, or out chasing some tail.
“He’ll get over it. You ready, buddy?” he asked before Emma could change her mind. She did that a lot lately, but Shane blamed it on the hormones.
I tossed my bottle into the recycle bin and quickly booked it for the door. I felt suffocated but although I knew I was being dramatic—hell I was annoying myself—life was beyond stressful as of late, and I had no way to release my tensions.
Shane closed the door behind us and struggled to keep up with my fast pace. “What the hell is your issue?” he called from behind me.
“I don’t have an issue,” I sighed before starting down the stairs. Truth was, it was just so stifling in that condo these days. I needed to get back to myself.
“You’re a fuckin’ terrible liar.”
Of course Shane would be the one to call me out. He refused to let anyone wallow in self-pity. Even though he was a pro at it, it didn’t mean he would let anyone else enjoy a good pity party. I really didn’t feel like talking but I knew that he wouldn’t leave me alone until I just came out with it.
I sighed in defeat. “I guess I’m restless, that’s all. I’m just so fuckin’ tired of maintaining status quo,” I grumbled, pushing out the front of our building and turning the corner toward McFadden’s. “My job sucks, I can barely afford to pay my bills, you and Emma have each other, and Rob’s always gone, chasing some tail … then there’s me. Poor Tyler, the third wheel. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” I laughed in spite of myself. That
was pretty funny.
Shane scoffed in response. “Well, where did all that come from?” he questioned.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Just how I feel.”
“Dude is this about Em and I? Because we can be more thoughtful if it really bothers you—”
“No,” I cut him off. Of course he would think it was about them, what with my little ‘woe is me’ session coinciding with their canoodling. “It really has nothing to do with you guys.” That was the truth—there was no jealousy on my part. Once we got back from Vegas I’d spent hours with Shane making that perfectly clear. There were no hard feelings about my past with Emma, and it was all water under the bridge. “You’re great and I’m happy for you both. It’s just got everything to do with me. I don’t even know why the fuck I’m here.”
Turning the corner I noticed there wasn’t a line at McFadden’s. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that we could get right in and that I wouldn’t have to deal with a bunch of people. Shane muttered a pleasantry to the bouncer as we walked past and into the bar. It was pretty desolate, even for a Tuesday.
“What do you mean, why are you here?” Shane questioned, as we sat down amongst the sea of empty bar stools.
“I mean why am I even here in New York? I came here to live the dream.” I motioned for the bar tender’s attention. He recognized us and nodded to let me know he’d bring us the usual. “But I could be doing the same thing back home, making the same amount of money, and living a little more comfortably.” It was true—my job would pay exactly the same in Maine, and the cost of living was a fraction of what it was in New York.
Shane shook his head, apparently disgusted with my little pity-party. “You’re here because we’re your family, Tyler. You know that, and you know you couldn’t go back there.” The bartender sat our beer bottles in front of us and Shane paused to mumble a quick thank you. “Overreacting a bit don’t ya think?”
I raised the bottle to my lips. Shane was right. If I went back to Maine I would go fucking insane. I didn’t know which would kill me first—my mother or the boredom. Mom had become well acquainted with the wine bottle after Dad died. She was still my mom, but her constant drunken chatter was annoying, and I knew I didn’t have the patience for it. I felt bad for my brother, Talon, because he had yet to escape her.
“You’re just pissed you didn’t get offered that position, aren’t you?” he said very matter-of-factly.
I scoffed at him. “How do you fucking do that?” I laughed. It never ceased to amaze me that, somehow, he knew everything about everybody—whether we wanted him to or not.
He looked at me and smiled, obviously reveling in my absentmindedness. “Well, you did mention last week that you thought ESPN was coming to scout out the station for announcers.”
I had forgot that I’d said that. Damn it, Shane remembered everything. “Shit, that’s right, I did.”
“So it didn’t happen?” he questioned, his attention directed at the television hanging behind the bar.
My blood boiled as I remembered hearing the news. “No, it happened alright. They came swooping in and chose some fuckin’ rookie!” I spat. “Like seriously, he’s fresh out of college. And to make matters worse he’s a goddamn pretty boy … just like you.” I smiled again at my own wit.
“Well, then you can’t blame them for choosing him,” he laughed. “He sounds like quite the guy.” Shane threw his hand up on my shoulder and gave a squeeze. He knew he didn’t need to say anything in order to support me. “I think we need some shots.” My grin grew wider. Shane certainly knew the way to my heart—booze.
We motioned for the bartender again … and again … and again. The drinks kept coming, and we kept drinking. We sat there for hours just chatting, something we didn’t really have a lot of time for as of late. With Shane working towards becoming partner, and Felix, he really didn’t have time to just be my friend as of late. I understood. I was envious as all get out, but I got it.
I should take a second to clarify that I didn’t want what Shane had per se. Like, I didn’t want Emma—Shane would be the first one to tell you that. Sure, it took some heavy explaining on my part when we returned from Vegas, but I finally made him understand how things had been between Em and I. What I envied about Shane was that he had his shit together—he had it all figured out. He had Emma and Felix, the job, and the money. Let’s face it, he and Rob were the main reasons we could afford our condo. He’d taken the world by the balls but although I was a little green about that, I was also as proud as hell of him. I guess you could say I was having an ‘Emma moment’—like the one she had before turning thirty.
“Thanks for this,” I said as he paid for my drinks. The proud part of me wanted to argue with him, but we both knew I really couldn’t afford to foot the bill this time.
We stood to leave and I felt the effects of the alcohol in my legs. “No problem, buddy, seriously, anytime. But I’m asking for a favor in return.”
“Sure, sure. What do you need?” I would do anything for him, just as I knew he would give me the shirt off his own back.
“Yeah, I’m going to need you to pull one a.m. diaper duty,” he smirked. “Em and I missed our ‘date night’.” He used his fingers to air quote, but I knew what he meant without them. Those two were crazy over each other.
Laughing, we stumbled out onto the sidewalk. “Of course. I’d do anything for that little guy.”
Shane slung his arm on my shoulder, we leaned on each other for support while we walked. “I know you would man.”
We walked quickly back to the condo, Shane was hoping to try and get some alone time in with Emma before Felix woke up for his night feeding. We hushed our voices as we stumbled into the entry, not wanting to disturb Emma, or wake the baby.
We managed to get in and a smile immediately spread across Shane’s face. From the door, I saw Rob and Em huddled up on our nasty futon, watching a movie together. To an outsider it might have appeared to be an intimate moment, but to us it was nothing short of normal. Emma was curled up on the left side, Rob leaning his back against her side.
“Felix asleep?” Shane questioned, wedging himself in between the two of them, making sure to grin at Rob while he did it.
“Dude!” Rob moaned jokingly as he moved toward the other end of the couch. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re fuckin’ with my mojo!”
Shane casually smacked Rob in the back of the head. Even though Shane and Emma had been together for over a year, it didn’t prevent Rob from making his inappropriate and asinine comments. He still brought up the fact that he was the only one to not have had a shot with Emma whenever he drank too much. That usually ended with Emma slapping him across the face while Shane and I laughed from afar.
“He went down about an hour ago.” She paused and kissed Shane’s cheek. “You guys have a good time?”
I flopped down onto the beanbag next to the futon and sighed contentedly. I’d had a great time—the numbness in my legs was a reminder of that. “Don’t we always?”
She laughed and directed her attention back to the movie.
I closed my eyes and started to relax in the silence.
“So Liz called today …” Emma mumbled, directing her conversation toward Shane.
“What did she want?” he questioned, knowing full well that Elizabeth only spoke to Emma when she needed something. There had been a time when the sisters were close, but that was ages ago. I could barely remember it myself.
“She’s coming out for a visit,” Emma continued.
Shane sputtered for a moment. “What the hell for?”
“She claims that she wants Felix and Emily to have some cousin time,” Emma sighed. “But I honestly just think she’s lonely.”
“Must be, you’d be the last person she’d want to hang out with.” Shane muttered. I heard Emma playfully slap Shane’s body. They giggled a bit before finally directing their attention to the movie.
I opened my eyes and pretended to be intere
sted in what was on the screen but for some reason my mind kept wandering to Elizabeth. As peculiar as it was, I found myself slightly excited to see her. It’d been years since I’d seen her, but there had been a time when I considered her to be like a sister to me.
I still remembered her as an annoying, but harmless little kid, following us everywhere. But despite constantly having her under foot, I took her under my wing and protected her like she was my own. I understood that nowadays she was the furthest thing from the kid I once knew, but even the most unlikable people deserved a little light in their life. I found myself hoping that everything was okay, and that this visit wasn’t a sign of trouble for her. She deserved everything she had. While her and Emma might not get along the best—and my loyalties definitely lay with Em—deep down, I wanted Elizabeth to be happy, too.
Anger.
Humiliation.
And confusion.
She was in a constant state of all three. How did she get to this place in her life? Why did this have to happen to her?
Sure she’d made poor choices in her life, but who hadn’t? Nobody deserved to be ignored and left alone … right?
Alone. Always.
The phone calls and quick visits don’t constitute a marriage—at least not in her opinion. She wanted an all-consuming love, but she’d lost that a long time ago. She might not have deserved it, but it was what it was—no second chances. This was her life. She’d made the ‘right’ choices and become her mother, just like the good perfect daughter she’d been raised to be.
But for some reason she was always so angry. She knew she couldn’t fly off the handle like that anymore … especially with Emily around. It was nobody’s fault but her own. Hell, even her own mother knew that.
“Choices, Elizabeth. Choices are key in making you into who you are, and who you’ll become.”
But she was finally making a choice for herself. Probably for the first time ever. She’d already talked to Emma who was, for once, doing her best to be supportive. Offering her a place to clear her head—although how anyone managed to think in the city was beyond her.
Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections) Page 1
