Over time, I’d forgotten all about that moment. She had known, even back then, at the ripe old age of thirteen that she was doomed to follow the path that Mrs. Sloan had planned for her. That was the last time I saw her until she accompanied her parents to the city for our graduation, but by then she was too far-gone. She was only seventeen but I could tell how different she was. Based on the stories Talon had told me, something had happened to her in the four years after we’d left. Elizabeth Sloan had turned into a cold hard bitch, and I wasn’t sure why.
I pulled into my rented parking spot and sighed. Somehow I felt responsible for putting Elizabeth in this situation. It was ludicrous, I know. What if I’d stayed in contact with her? Maybe she’d just needed a little more support. Shane, Emma and I had completely cut her off when we left for New York. Of course she felt abandoned—she’d followed us around for years. We’d been her only friends.
I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Using the last of my strength, I pushed the door open to reveal my friends sat around the kitchen table, just like always. I felt a pang as I realized I was surrounded by people that truly loved me, but I couldn’t confide in them. I couldn’t ask them to help me through this. None of them knew what was going on with me—well, except for Rob, and I would wait for hell to freeze over before I admitted anything to him. I was completely and utterly alone … again.
“Hey!” Em jumped up and hugged me. She leaned back and looked up at me, her arms still wrapped around my waist. “You look terrible. Mrs. Johnston hit the bottle hard while you were there?” she questioned, knowing my mother well enough to know how the Johnston household ran. Whenever I was around my Mom drank twice her normal amount. She didn’t think I noticed, but I did. I knew why she did it—I reminded her of my father. She reminded me of that every time she hit the bottle. I didn’t think it was such a bad thing. My dad had been a good man—a lot like Mr. Sloan. But Mother found it painful to be around me. I was a constant reminder of what she had lost, and that included Dad’s bountiful paychecks. He had plenty of life insurance money, and that had taken care of the house, but the money was starting to run out and that made for a grumpy mother.
“You could say that,” I muttered, breaking away from her as I threw my duffel bag to the floor.
“Well, we have good news,” Shane offered.
“Don’t tell me you’ve knocked Emma up again,” I said, only half joking. At this point it really wouldn’t surprise me. After Em had had Felix, she’d had her ‘womanly issues’ that had been a problem many moons ago fixed, so it was only a matter of time before they had more kids. I was sure they’d have a pack of them. Shane couldn’t keep his hands off her … ever.
“Very funny,” Emma said as she sat back down at the table.
“We’ve set a date for the wedding,” Shane added proudly.
I shared a look with Emma. “That’s just as frightening,” I laughed.
“Shut the hell up, Tyler,” Shane huffed. “It’s hard enough for me to get her on board with this shit without you adding fuel to the fire.”
Emma laughed. “Relax, Killah,” she grabbed his hand and I rolled my eyes. There was that stupid nickname again. It’d been bad enough when Shane had started calling Em ‘Killah’ but then they’d adopted it as their go-to term of endearment. It annoyed the crap out of me. ‘Killah’? Seriously they have got to be the strangest couple known to man. Who has ‘Killah’ as a pet name? Shane and Emma, that’s who. “I’ve already agreed to marry your sissy ass.” We all took a moment to laugh, at Shane’s expense. Most men would have been thrilled to bag a woman who didn’t want to get married. But here Shane was, practically forcing Emma to go through with nuptials. It was beyond hilarious.
“Alright, so when is the big day?” I asked, plopping onto the floor to play with Felix. He quickly crawled toward me with a toothy grin plastered across his face. The little shit had obviously missed me.
“June,” Emma answered, smiling contentedly.
I grinned. Obviously they would pick June—that month held a lot of meaning for them. They’d sealed their future together in the month of June. Plus, there was nothing quite as magical as Maine in the summertime. It was the perfect place to be during the sweltering hot months. If you haven’t been to Maine in the summer, you haven’t lived. The weather was just right—warm during the day, but cool at night. Lakes and bonfires, shorts and sweatshirts. It would surely be an interesting seven months of preparations. “That’ll be perfect,” I added.
“So …” Emma paused and shared a secretive look with Shane. “I was hoping you would be my Maid of Honor, but Shane pitched a fit and he won.”
I laughed. “Oh yeah—”
“Yeah,” Shane interrupted. “I was hoping you’d be my Best Man?” he asked expectantly.
I stood up and took two quick strides toward him. He stood and we shared a manly embrace. “Of course I’ll stand up there with you.” I looked to Emma as she wiped a single tear from her cheek. “I’m sorry, Em. I’d love to stand with you too, but you know how terrible I look in a dress.” We all laughed, remembering the time the guys and I had cross-dressed. Shane and Rob had pulled it off—they both had great legs—but I’d looked terrible.
“So what about Rob?” I asked.
The three of them looked at each other as a shit-eating grin spread across Rob’s face. “I’m going to marry them!”
I shook my head. Of course he was going to be the one to marry them. I bet Mrs. Sloan was having a fit over this. Rob wasn’t exactly what I would call ‘marriage officiant’ material. I hoped he’d at least be sober.
“So who’s going to stand with you, Em? You gunna call up Ginger?” I laughed at my callous joke. We all knew Emma didn’t have an abundance of female friends—hell, she didn’t really have any female acquaintances. Emma immediately shot me daggers. Seriously, if looks could kill, I’d have been dead on the spot.
“No,” she seethed. “Liz is going to stand with me.”
I cleared the lump from my throat. Of course—Elizabeth was her sister, and the closest thing to a female friend she had. Yep. This certainly was shaping up to be an interesting year.
“You don’t have to do this on my account, Em.” I offered, hoping that I would somehow change her mind. I hated that they were changing their plans just for me. If she’d known the real reason I wasn’t going home, she’d be smacking me, not prepping for Christmas.
“Don’t be freaking ridiculous, Tyler,” she protested as she finished hanging the garland. “If you’re going to stay here for Christmas, we’re not going to leave you by yourself. Besides it gives the family a good excuse to haul their asses out to the city. They never come here and they won’t let Christmas pass by without seeing Felix.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose at the thought. The Sloans, Ms. Strout, Elizabeth and Mason … all cozy around our Christmas tree. Not only would there be some nice tension between Ms. Strout and The Sloans—due to their past issues—but I would have to tolerate being around Elizabeth and her husband.
My stomach flopped as I listened to Rob chuckle from the futon. In an instant I snapped. My head spun in his direction. “Shut the fuck up!” I growled. The words were out of my mouth before I could think but he carried on laughing. As if on cue, Emma spun to look at me, her face bright red.
“Language, Tyler,” Emma glared, obviously expecting more from me. Rob was usually the one who struggled with the no swearing rule. I attributed it to the fact that he had a difficult time spelling out the cusswords. But we all knew it was just because he liked to throw money in the cuss jar whenever. He called it, an advance on his fuck ups. Believe it or not, 25 cents per swear added up quickly.
She wasn’t my mom, but she sure as shit could make me put my tail between my legs. “Sorry, Em,” I apologized feebly, knowing my indiscretion would be overlooked … this time.
Emma carefully climbed down from the step stool and put her hands on her hips. “I refuse to let you spend the holidays al
one, Tyler. It just isn’t right. You’re part of our family, whether you like it or not.”
“You’re incorrigible,” I groaned. But little did she know, I liked it. I needed to belong somewhere—with someone—and leave it to Em to know. I just didn’t see the need to ruin the holiday with Mrs. Sloan and her hoity-toity attitude. I just needed a chill day with people that cared about me. And Elizabeth. Being mine. Yeah. That wasn’t about to happen, but a guy could dream.
“And that is why you love me.” She flipped her hair and went back to decorating.
I looked out the window at the snow slowly falling through the nighttime sky. I should have known my little November excursion would come back to bite me in the ass. This was my punishment. I would spend a torturous day surrounded by people who I’m sure would easily irritate me, along with a certain woman that I couldn’t seem to push from my mind.
“Got your ugly sweater?” Shane asked as he rocked Felix back and forth in his arms. Felix’s eyes fluttered as he tried to stay awake. I was sure he found our go around entertaining. At least somebody was.
“Of course,” I scoffed. “What do you think I am?”
Without missing a beat, Rob was at it again. “An idiot,” he said, his tone very matter of fact.
I glared at him while making a mental note to beat the shit out of him the next opportunity that came around. His constant smart-ass comments were driving me insane, and if he didn’t knock it off Emma and Shane were going to start asking questions.
I excused myself in order to slide into my ugly sweater for this year. It was simple enough. Just a regular old sweater—complete with a knitted gold chain around the neck—that had ‘Happy Holla-Daze’ written on it. It was pretty gangsta.
We spent the evening as we normally did on December 22nd—drinking eggnog and exchanging gifts in our most tacky holiday garb. Nothing out of the ordinary. However, Emma and Shane did manage to get Felix something spectacular to wear just for the occasion. He looked spectacular in his knitted Santa sweater.
I tried to enjoy the festivities, but for some reason I couldn’t stop worrying about what the next few days would bring. I’d thought I had at least a few more months to prepare myself so I wasn’t ready for a big family gathering. And I was especially apprehensive at seeing Elizabeth … with Mason. I just didn’t know how I would react to being in the same room as them. In fact, I wondered if I could handle it at all.
I woke with a start, hearing the noise coming from downstairs. I definitely did not want to get up. I glanced at the alarm clock on my night stand and moaned when I saw it was only eight o’clock—way too early to deal with any of the bullshit that awaited me below.
I lay in bed, listening to the different voices booming from underneath me. I kept waiting to hear Elizabeth’s, but I didn’t. I wondered if there was a reason for her silence. Was she sad? Was she wondering where I was? Was she even there? My mind reeled with possibilities, but eventually, curiosity got the best of me and I decided it was time to get up and be social. Still groggy, I made my way down the stairs before glancing around the packed living room. It didn’t take me long to figure out she wasn’t there. Maybe she wasn’t coming?
I stood there, taking in the chaotic scene around me waiting for someone to notice me. Pathetic I know.
Ms. Strout was the first to greet me. “Tyler, I swear you get bigger every time I see you.” She spoke excitedly as she stood on her tiptoes in order to wrap her arms around my neck and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I had to hand it to her, she was pulling off peppy very well, despite being in a room with a woman who had loathed her for years. It wasn’t surprising though—Ms. Strout had more class than any woman I knew. I smiled back at her as my eyes continued to do a silent roll call.
Mr. Sloan and Mrs. Sloan, check.
Emma and Shane, check.
Felix, check.
Rob had already gone back to New Jersey. I was jealous that he had managed to escape the city for the weekend and I wished that I had been able to afford to ditch with him.
Mr. Sloan was the next to come over and greet me. “Tyler, son, long time no see.” He pushed his hand into mine and gave a firm shake. The wash of guilt spread through me and was overwhelming. My face flushed and I hoped no one noticed. If he only knew what I had been up to with one—make that both—of his daughters, he surely would have killed me. This is the man that took Emma’s first boyfriend on a tour of their house the first time he came to pick her up, and made sure to conclude the tour in his hunting room—the place where he kept his guns and reloaded shells. It was while they were in the hunting room that he showed the poor guy all of his prized guns. The boyfriend was drooling over Mr. Sloan’s AR-15 when he just solemnly looked at him and said, “Yep. And I’m a helluva shot too”. Yeah, Mr. Sloan would kill me if he knew the half of it.
“It’s been a long time, Mr. Sloan. Gosh, there must be some sport on for us to watch today?” I questioned hopefully. That man was a joy to be around. I never got tired of talking to him about sports. He knew it all. From Golf to Football, Mr. Sloan could school you on historical stats and facts. The man was a god in my eyes—Shane’s too. How he put up with his wife’s shit was beyond me … and everybody else for that matter.
After further pleasantries, Mr. Sloan, Shane, and I eventually made our way to the living room and flipped on Sports Center. We casually chatted about the different sports news while I kept looking at the door, waiting for someone I wasn’t even sure was coming.
Emma was slaving away in the kitchen. She was attempting to be ‘Susie Homemaker’ for a change and she was doing as well as she knew how. Meanwhile, Mrs. Sloan was doing her best turning her new leaf so to speak, and was chatting casually with Ms. Strout. Since finally coming to terms with her past and welcoming Shane into the family, she’d been doing her best to be less of a bitch. Even though she was trying, being around her was still very awkward. Obviously old habits die hard.
Shane kept excusing himself to check on Em as she prepared brunch for the slew of visitors. The condo was a bustle of activity with the incessant chatter. I wanted to casually ask someone about Elizabeth, but I didn’t want to seem obvious, or risk outing myself, so instead I just kept my mouth shut.
As Emma continued her quest to pull off brunch, Mrs. Sloan kept trying to discuss wedding plans with her. I could tell that Emma was nearing the end of her rope because her cheeks reddened with each passing moment. Finally she reached her limit. “Mom, I can’t talk about this with you right now,” she huffed as she removed the cinnamon rolls from the oven.
“Well, Emma”—Mrs. Sloan clicked her tongue between her teeth—”you only have six months to pull this together. You should be planning during every possible moment we have together. Don’t you want to have a nice wedding?” I shook my head. Mrs. Sloan was back at it, and Em was about to lose her shit in 3 … 2 … 1.
Emma slammed down the pan on top of the counter and the three of us couldn’t help but direct our full attention to them—hell, even Felix turned his head, curious as to what all the commotion was. “Mom! I could marry Shane in a freakin’ dumpster and it would be the best day of my life! If you want this to be some big shindig, I don’t care, plan whatever you want, just leave me out of it because I really don’t give a flying fuck!”
“Emma!” Mrs. Sloan said, slightly aghast. Okay, there was nothing slight about how mortified she was at that moment.
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife and we watched on as Emma rifled through the fridge before grabbing a bottle of champagne. Obviously not caring that it was still early, she popped the cork. Clearly, Em had reached her boiling point. I watched, mildly entertained, as she poured herself a tall glass while Mrs. Sloan sat with an astonished look on her face. I shared a look with Shane, but he just shrugged in response. He still had kid gloves on when it came to dealing with Mrs. Sloan and I didn’t blame him—the woman scared the shit out of me too.
“Now, Gwen …” Mr. Sloan cut in. “Em
ma is trying to host her first holiday celebration here and is obviously a little stressed. Let’s leave the wedding talk for another day. Why don’t you come hold your grandson?”
Mr. Sloan’s words immediately hit his wife and before I could blink she was doing just as he had suggested—without any argument. The man was obviously a master. That, or his wife just really fucking loved him. Either way he was my hero. I wanted for a woman to love me that much. To take my word and run with it, total trust in her heart.
In case you were wondering, we did eventually eat. In fact, Emma did good and ended up only burning the bacon. We even had a few mimosas—despite the fact that Em had put a dent in our champagne supply beforehand.
After eating came the gift exchange. It was really just a family affair, but at least I got to give Felix his present from Rob and I. He seemed to enjoy the sports toy we gave him, but there was too much going on and he quickly moved onto the next thing. Once everyone had opened their gifts we sat there, silently, amongst a sea of torn wrapping paper, watching Felix gnaw on the corner of an empty box.
“You’d think he’d pick up one of those toys to play with,” Shane said, not really directing his comment to anyone but just making an observation. It was crazy to think that kid had all those new toys but decided that a cardboard box was his best choice.
“Don’t you know kids never want to play with the toys,” a voice from behind me answered. I smiled. “The boxes and paper are the best things about Christmas and birthdays.”
I turned to see Elizabeth standing there, Emily propped on her hip. I wanted to leap up and wrap my arms around her, but that just wasn’t possible. Instead, my leg started bouncing with excitement as my mind flooded with thoughts and questions. Yep, she’d come waltzing back in and straight away I was giddy with excitement. Go ahead and laugh at me. I’d laugh at myself too.
Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections) Page 9
