Lacy made an “mm” in agreement, though she didn’t mean it about Jax. Kat could have the lead singer, for all she cared. Or the drummer if that was still going on. Both of them, even.
Because it was Eli who was the cause of Lacy’s hum.
He fascinated her with his subtle, perfect artistry. With the easiness with which he played. With the way his hands moved up and down his instrument, his long fingers spreading nimbly across the strings. God, those hands … those fingers …
She crossed her legs as a warm flush of memories from the night before poured through her like a shot of whiskey. Warm and sweet and delicious.
And he played good music to boot.
Yes, this was the greatest gig in the world.
The instrumental prelude gave way to another song and, though her eyes never left Eli, she was aware of Jax belting out a verse in that gorgeously raspy voice. He was like a scoop of cream on top of her Eli sundae. She was so lost in the heaven of the moment, it took her several lines before she really heard the words of the lyric.
With a sweep of your hand and a curse
You’ve ravaged my world.
Destroyed all I cared for and then
You leave me to live
She uncrossed her legs and sat up straighter in her seat. They weren’t just good lyrics. They were exquisite lyrics. But that wasn’t what had the hair standing up on the back of her neck and goose bumps racing down her arms.
“What is it?”
Ignoring Kat’s question, Lacy’s asked one of her own. “They didn’t do this song the night we saw them, did they?”
“At Tigerstripes? I don’t think so. Wes said they saved all their new material for the actual tour. Why?”
Lacy’s heart was pounding and her hands were sweaty as she turned her attention back to Jax. Because I know this one.
Out loud she said, “It’s good. I was sure I’d remember it if I’d heard it before.” She hadn’t actually heard it before. She’d only seen the words. She’d workshopped those words. “Godric’s Hollow.” It was a genius of a song, comparing the pain of a destructive relationship to the worst night in Harry Potter’s life. Before she ever even heard the music that accompanied it, she’d already loved this song.
But of course she’d love it. Because this was Folx’s song.
And that meant …
No way.
It couldn’t be possible. It was too much of a coincidence. Wasn’t it? Could Folx really be a member of the Blue Hills? And if so, which one?
She meant to scan her eyes over all of the boys, but she didn’t get past Jax. He was front and center, singing in a grit-filled voice, delivering the lyric with such conviction. Watching him perform this song was like looking into something personal, something private. He sang it like he owned it. It was his song.
And if Jax was singing it, then it had to mean that Jax … was Folx.
Her breath caught at the full implications of her realization. So many warring thoughts ran through her head—excitement, nervousness. Stone cold fear. Jubilation. What were the odds? That they were both from Boston, that they were on tour together. How had she looked when he’d first met her? Not as good as she’d planned to look, that was for sure. At the wedding in her formal dress and makeup, she’d be looking, well, better than she had any day on the tour.
But enough about how she looked. On to how he looked. Because oh, my god, Jax was Folx, and Jax was hot, but wow. This was not what she was expecting. She’d imagined him plenty of times, of course. In her head he’d been darker, less pretty, more gruff. Attractive like … well, like Eli.
She swallowed back the strange taste of disappointment. This would take an adjustment, that’s all. But she could get used to it. She’d thought he was attractive from the first minute she’d met him. Though the zing he’d initially sent to her girl parts had dulled, it was still there. Probably. She eyed up and down his lean form in those tight jeans and plaid shirt. Oh yeah, he would work.
And ohmygod, he was Folx!
She knew him. He knew her. They were bonded. Joined at the soul. The song he was singing? It was, in a way, theirs.
“Unfuckingbelievable,” she said with a laugh.
Kat glanced at her, but seemed to think she was talking about how amazing the song was. And that just made Lacy laugh more. Then the band was at the chorus, which was another point of amusement. It was the part that Folx, uh, Jax had said the band cut. Sure enough, he was singing a line of “yeahs” then holding his mike out to the audience—which at the moment consisted of two. Good old Kat echoed him back in her screechy, though perfectly pitched, soprano.
Lacy refrained from joining in, too stunned. Too awestruck. Too devoted to the original architecture of the song. Though she’d never heard the melody of the chorus, she remembered the words and could feel how they would have fit in harmony with the mandolin line. She sang them in her head.
You break me, you make me
You take me, you wake me
You set me to fire and I burn
They would have been incredible. Much better than this commercial gimmick that Jax was leading. The audience probably loved it, but musically …
Well, it was a shameful loss. But who the hell cared—she was listening to Folx sing for the very first time!
For the very first time since she knew he was Folx, anyway. And like a true performer, Jax was making it work, despite the flawed arrangement, playing the part with enthusiasm and soul. It was impressive. And bewildering. She’d had no idea from his online conversations that he was so charismatic. So commanding of the stage.
It bothered her just a little. As if she’d somehow hoped his charm was meant only for her. The way that Eli’s charm always seemed meant for her.
Oh, shit.
Eli.
Sweet, incredible, the guy-she’d-banged-the-night-before Eli.
Well, this was awkward. And not in the way that she’d thought the day after was going to be. She turned her focus back to him and found he was watching her. As soon as their eyes met, he smiled, and the sincerity of it made her legs feel like jelly even though she was sitting down. Before she knew it, she was smiling back.
But, wait. Should she be smiling at him now? Now that Folx wasn’t just a person-she’d-meet-in-the-future person, but a real-life flesh-and-blood person she already knew.
She didn’t know. There wasn’t protocol for this. And she didn’t want to stop, uh, smiling at him. Because Eli did things to her … amazing things … wonderful things. And he’d inspired words.
But he wasn’t her soul mate. He wasn’t The One. He wasn’t Folx.
She looked back at Jax-who-was-Folx, and the minute she did, he threw his gaze directly at her—or, maybe at Kat—and winked.
Ah, Folx.
I mean, Jax.
It was a Plot Twist Moment. Something else Lance used to like to celebrate. Those moments that changed everything. Where nothing could be the same after. This was one of those moments.
Because this couldn’t just be a coincidence. Folx—the man she’d been dreaming about, the man who’d been with her through the worst of it, the man she’d been falling for little by little for the better part of a year—was on the very same tour she was on. That had to be kismet. That had to be A Sign.
Also, Plot Twist.
And one she never saw coming.
Now she just had to figure out what to do next. Should she tell Jax who she was or not? She should. Of course she should.
Just then, Jax growled into the microphone, as if concurring with her decision.
“Damn,” Kat said. “Just … damn.”
Now that Lacy knew who Jax was, she wasn’t so comfortable with Kat’s adoration. “Uh, aren’t you and Wes still a thing?” Surely, they were and Kat was just expressing the general reaction of all women when they encountered Jax.
“We’re a thing,” Kat confirmed. But then she added, “Just not a monogamous thing. And I’m thinking it might be time for another
thing.” The sultry narrowing of her eyes as she looked toward the lead singer made it apparent that the other thing she was referring to was a thing that involved Jax.
An alarm went off in Lacy’s head. “Is Jax going with you to see the town?”
“Yeah. Pretty sure.”
And that was a reason Lacy should tell Jax she was LoveCoda. Because she couldn’t possibly let him hook up with someone like Kat, even for just a night. The thought of Folx hooking up with anyone who wasn’t her was bothersome, actually. Even when they hadn’t made promises, Folx was hers. Not Kat’s.
Er, Jax was hers. Jax/Folx. Except, she wasn’t as bothered by the idea of a Jax and Kat hookup as she was a Folx and Kat hookup. Weird. But explainable. She wasn’t used to Jax and Folx being the same person—that was all.
Really, it wasn’t fair that she be bothered by any of it because she’d hooked up with Eli.
Eli. Her stomach fluttered when she thought of him. It was silly post-sex body reactions. Yes, that. Eli had conditioned her hormonal response. Nothing serious. She’d be over it as soon as she moved on to someone new. To Folx—correction, Jax. Which she’d do as soon as sound check was over.
Probably.
No reason to even hesitate.
Though … Folx had been the one to pick Christmas Eve as a date to meet. Maybe he’d made it so far out because of the tour. But that wrapped up in November. Which meant that he must need the extra time for some other reason. Maybe he wanted to get settled back at home first. Or had some other obligation she wasn’t aware of. Lacy didn’t want to push their relationship to happen before it was time.
So she wouldn’t tell him. She’d keep the status quo and maybe try to get to know him more in person. Give him the space he needed before the big reveal, though not so much space that he’d jump into bed with Kat. He’d probably appreciate that later.
Yes. It was decided. She’d keep the secret until Christmas Eve. For him.
Certainly not because she wanted more time.
And, even more certainly, not because there was anyone else she wanted more time with before she committed completely to Folx.
Though, after sound check was done and the band was let loose for the afternoon, it sure was a whole lot easier to decide to join Kat and Jax on the town when Eli said he’d come too.
Chapter Thirteen
“So what are we doing, LacyP?” Jax asked, when the foursome stepped out of the dark venue and into the sunshine.
She hadn’t said a word while the plans were made to explore together. There was still the awkwardness with Eli and now that she knew Jax’s true identity, she felt strange around him as well. Nervous in a way that was new. Starstruck, almost. Now when she looked at him, she remembered words he’d said online, jokes he’d made. The sweet, tender gestures that had made her fall for him. But since he was still in the dark about her identity, it was as if he were a celebrity and she was a fan. She knew everything about him, and he knew nothing about her. It was hard to know how to talk to him, so she’d hung back and let the others do the talking.
But now he’d initiated the conversation, and not only was he putting her in charge—take that Kat—but he’d given her a nickname to boot. Giddiness swept through her along with the overwhelming feeling that everything was right with the world. “Boats! Food! Is it dangerous to go explore where they filmed The Wire? But first, food. All we eat today is crab.”
“Eh, I don’t really like seafood,” Kat moaned as she threw an arm around Jax and another around Eli.
“Then order off the goddamn kids menu,” Lacy snapped. “We’re in Baltimore! We eat crab.” With that, she stalked off, toward the harbor, letting out a breath of frustrated air.
“Do you know where you’re going?” Eli asked, catching up.
“I haven’t the slightest. But I had to leave on a high note.” She kept walking though her insides tightened at his nearness in a way that gave new meaning to the term “muscle memory.” She was a little worried how Jax had taken her explosion, though.
Then Eli leaned in close, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up in awareness and she forgot all about Kat alone with Jax behind her. “If you take a left at the next corner, you’ll be headed the right way.”
This was their first conversation since it happened, and they were talking about something as commonplace as directions. And … it didn’t feel awkward. It felt easy. More, she was grateful he’d helped her with her awkward exit.
Lacy flashed him a smile. “I don’t know why she grates on me at times. It’s really shitty of me.” Nope, not admitting why to him. Not admitting she was jealous. She wondered if Jax was following. Was that weird to care when Eli was there?
Yes, it was weird. The whole thing was weird. But that didn’t stop the impulse to glance over her shoulder to see.
Jax was following. As was Kat. They were no longer touching, though, and they seemed to be walking in silence, which added a boost to Lacy’s step.
“Really? I actually thought you guys were friends.” Eli drew her attention back to him. “I think she’s a bit much, but I was being nice cause I thought you liked her.” He slipped a pair of aviators on and dimpled up at her. The hot day was only getting hotter, between the two frontmen of the Blue Hills. That was cool, right? To be totally into both of them for such different reasons?
She was confused. That’s what she was. Really confused.
Also, she was perturbed to have to share the outing with Kat. “Well, I think Wes likes her, so you should probably still be nice.” She brightened as she said this, realizing that Jax wouldn’t hit on Kat because it would be rude to Wes. Folx was the type of guy who put his band members ahead of his music. Of course he wouldn’t try to steal one of the others’ girls.
It didn’t mean Kat was as decent, however. Lacy scowled. “I have to work with her, so I have no choice either.”
Maybe that was a little harsh. Or a lot harsh. Okay, really unfairly harsh.
She softened. “Plus, she’s really generous. She basically got me on this tour. I owe her big.” Lacy took the recommended left and pulled her oversized shades off her head and onto her nose, hoping the dark lenses covered the guilt welling up inside. “In fact, I should be nicer.”
“Oh, I don’t have to be nice just because she’s sleeping with Wes. We have a groupie clause. No false politeness required, and we can even share.” He winced as if realizing that might be inappropriate considering their recent activities.
Lacy, however, was grateful for the information. Hopefully that meant no hard feelings between the boys when she finally got together with Folx. Uh, Jax. Not that she was a groupie. And …
Wait a minute …
She peeked again over her shoulder at the two stragglers. They were chatting now, Kat smiling more than Lacy thought was reasonable, but otherwise a pretty innocent scene. Hmm. The band’s groupie clause might encourage a fling between Jax and Kat, after all.
Maybe she should be walking with them and not with Eli. Maybe Jax even thought Lacy was into Eli. Shit! She was, of course, but … dammit!
This needed to be a group adventure and not a double date if she was going to keep her bizarre new relationships on track.
She slowed her pace, hoping Jax and Kat would catch up quickly.
“You know though”—again Eli drew her attention back to him—“if Kat’s responsible for getting you here, I guess I owe her a beer.” He slid his shades down and winked. It sent a little shiver down her spine. He wanted her here.
Maybe the alone time with him was just fine after all.
“Hey, it’s a Crab Cakery!” Lacy exclaimed, both to break the delicious tension and also because crab. She led the way through the door. “Bet you could even buy that beer here,” she teased, as they took off their glasses to adjust to the lighting inside the crab shack. It smelled like heaven, if heaven were a divey seafood bar. Which, if you asked Lacy, it had to be. Why else would people look forward to the hereafter, if lobster roll
s and whiskey weren’t on offer?
“Sweet Jesus. It smells like heaven,“pronounced Jax, from behind.
Thank God he feels the same. She turned in time to see him run a hand through his shaggy blonde hair and inhale again appreciatively. So did Lacy, as she watched his eyes close in pleasure. She attempted to put the image to memory. She needed to draw this image of Folx when she fantasized about him in the future and not the old Eli-like image she had of him.
“I hope they have chicken tenders,” whined Kat. Or not really whined, but Lacy thought it was near enough to call it that.
Eli patted her on the shoulder. “You can drink your lunch, if you want. I’m buying.”
Kat grinned toothily at Eli, not even questioning why he’d offer.
That was a good solution—Eli and Kat should pair up.
Except that didn’t feel right either. Not at all. And not just because she needed him for lyric-inducing orgasms. Wait a minute. Would it be wrong to continue to get it on with Eli now that Jax was Folx?
In her gut, she was pretty sure sleeping with one while planning to be with the other wasn’t the most couth of plans. She didn’t want to earn the same groupie reputation that Kat boasted. But she’d already been with Eli, so it probably changed nothing to do it again. As long as she cut that off before sleeping with Jax, she should be good. Once more was all she needed to confirm the lyrics-orgasm connection anyway.
Probably.
Or maybe not. The sweet thing Eli had said about her only a few minutes before was still fresh in her head, and she realized she felt truly torn between the two men. Like, maybe she might want to consider Eli as more than just a source for song material. Both men drew her to them physically—she’d known that since the first night she’d seen them onstage.
But then she remembered everything else Jax was when he was his Folx persona and the dilemma seemed moot. Her heart belonged to Folx. Every time.
Besides, Eli buying Kat’s lunch was sweet, not romantic. She’d try to remember that the gesture was about her and not anything about Kat.
“That’s so nice of you to buy,” Kat said, sidling up to Eli. Lacy scowled.
Love Struck Page 12
