by Rye Hart
“You’re so guarded,” he said softly. “I feel like you’re only letting me see glimpses of you.”
“What do you mean? I’m really not all that mysterious,” I said a bit defensively.”
“Yeah, but there’s a wall that you put up. I want to get to know the real you.”
I stiffened at the comment and sighed. “It’s how I’ve always had to be in order to protect myself. I grew up dirt poor. Mom was a drug addict and all the other parents would tell their kids to stay away from me. That’s heartbreaking, you know?” I whispered, closing my eyes and sighing.
He frowned and nodded, staying silent and allowing me to speak. “I had to protect myself. I didn’t want kids to stare or try and make fun of me, so I just acted kind of mean and tough,” I said with a shrug. “If they were scared of me, they would just leave me alone. That was my logic,” I finished, feeling exposed. I’d never shared this much about myself with anyone before.
Ryder wrapped his arms around me. “That doesn’t make you a bad or cold person. But it’s time for you to drop that,” he whispered, putting his fingers under my chin and raising my gaze to meet his. “I’d like to be a part of a new chapter of your life, if you’ll let me.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he pressed his lips to mine and silenced me effectively. Other than the driver, we were the only ones on the boat. The kiss took my breath away and I saw stars explode behind my eyes. My entire body was on fire when he finally pulled away and smiled, stroking my hair.
I was lost in his gaze and the words that feel from my lips came without hesitation or thought. “I don’t want tonight to end.”
Ryder turned towards the hotel balconies and grinned. “It doesn’t have to.”
Chapter Ten
We stumbled into the hotel room, throwing our jackets to the floor in a rush. Our lips were pressed to each other’s and the second the door was closed he was pushing me back towards the bed until the back of my knees hit it and I fell onto the mattress.
In a matter of seconds, he was on top of me, his body pressed against mine as he claimed my lips hungrily, desperately tasting me and wanting more. Even as he kissed me until my lips throbbed, his fingers managed to find the clasp of my bra, undoing it quickly. I panted and whimpered as his fingers explored my body. I liked the way he nearly tore my dress off of me, though he took care not to ruin the pretty thing.
As he pulled the lace panties down, I started to pant, my body heating up in a way it never had before. Sex had always been a thing of necessity rather than pleasure, but Ryder was determined to make me feel good.
His fingers explored every inch of me, leaving trails of fire along the tender flesh. My hands brushed over his firm, toned shoulders and I couldn’t stop the moan that fell from my lips, tracing the tattoos that decorated his hips. How could one person be this perfect?
Ryder’s fingers threaded into my hair and I gasped, arching my back as he tugged at my scalp. The slight stinging sensation was driving me wild. I loved how strong and masculine his hands were. At the same time, they were delicately working to bring me to the edge of pleasure.
We finally pulled away from the kiss when our lungs began to burn with a desperate need for air. I panted and whispered his name as his fingers wandered further south and eventually found the aching mound between my legs. I felt hot and desperate and I wanted him to touch me more. My eyes fluttered as he spread my delicate folds open and began to toy with my most sensitive parts. I whimpered softly and wrapped one leg around his waist, as he slid his fingers inside of me, exploring my welcoming velvet warmth.
I dropped my head back onto the pillows, my arms flailing for something firm enough to hold onto. I eventually tangled my fingers into his hair, pulling him up for another long, desperate kiss. His fingers were working their undeniable magic and my body was rocking and responding to every touch he had to offer.
My skin was on fire and every inch of me was screaming for his manhood. I needed him desperately. He had me wrapped around his finger and in that moment, I knew I would have done anything he asked me. I was at his mercy, but he was so different from all of the others I’d been with. I didn’t mind giving myself over to him.
He finally withdrew his fingers and leaned over me, panting softly, sweat beading on his forehead. He was grinning now, licking his full lips as he took in the sight of me desperate and begging for him.
“Spread those pretty legs,” he whispered, smacking my thigh
I let out a surprised yelp, though he hadn’t hurt me. I was excited, and nearly over the edge with pleasure. I spread my legs slowly, looking up at him with wide, expectant eyes.
He gripped my legs and pulled them up over his hips as he grabbed the headboard for leverage. His long, throbbing manhood was pressed against my thigh and that contact only managed to draw another needy whimper from me. He entered me slowly, and I took everything he was willing to offer me.
There was a hot coil of pleasure in my belly, turning slowly and threatening to snap with every thrust. Every movement was aimed at bringing me closer to the edge of oblivion and I was eager for it. He filled me up and I knew that we fit together. I’d never felt this way with another man.
He slid into me again and again, and I arched against him each time, my arms thrown around him in a desperate attempt to keep him close. Each movement brought me closer and closer to satisfaction. As I inched closer to my own orgasm I felt the coil wind tighter in my belly, ready to snap any second.
He moaned my name, and with each thrust he whispered sweet nothings in my ear. Those words made me feel like the only woman in the world. I was desperate to finish. I wanted him to come inside of me, no matter how irresponsible it was. I dug my heel into him, holding him there and waiting for the pleasure to wash over me.
That coil finally snapped inside of me and I cried out Ryder’s name as stars exploded behind my eyes and my vision became a tiny pin prick of light. Everything was lost to me except the perfection of my orgasm.
He collapsed on top of me and I held him close, remaining silent. Neither of us said anything, afraid to break the spell.
Chapter Eleven
When my eyes fluttered open, I found myself laying in an unfamiliar bed, though I was surrounded with a familiar warmth and scent. I sighed happily and turned over to watch Ryder sleep. He looked so beautiful like that, sleeping so soundly.
I reached out and ran my hand over his rough, stubbly cheek. He groaned and when his eyes opened, he gazed at me with a semi-confused look on his face. At first I was afraid that he was regretting our night, and that he was going to kick me out of his bed and out of his life. His eyes focused and look of realization came across his face, and with it came a smile.
He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my temple and then my cheek. “Good morning beautiful.”
I was almost surprised by the sudden affection. None of my previous mornings after had been like this, but I accepted it with ease and smiled at him. “Good morning.”
“You seem a little out of it,” he said.
“Ah. Yeah,” I murmured. “Sorry. This is all a little surreal.”
“Why is it surreal?” he asked, his eyebrows knitted together.
“Because you’re still here,” I whispered.
“Of course. Did you expect me to leave?”
“I don’t know what I expected.” I admitted, blushing brightly.
He leaned in close, pressing his lips to mine in a way that made me melt. “Well, I’m not going anywhere, so you better get used to me,” he whispered, pressing our foreheads together.
A blush came to my cheeks and I tried my best to not seem flustered, but he already had the best of me.
“I’ll take that as a challenge,” I teased.
“You’re going to have to work pretty damn hard to get rid of me,” he said with a wink.
I just grinned, unable to hold it back anymore as I straddled him on the bed, staring into his eyes. God, I got lost in those
eyes. I smiled and pressed my lips to his, silencing him with a kiss. As I pulled back he groaned.
“Well, you sure know how to shut me up,” he said with a smile.
I just laughed and kissed him again, pulling the blankets over our heads so that we could laugh and hold each other. It felt good to have his arms around me and a part of me knew that as long as he was by my side, everything was going to be okay. Well, maybe not everything. I tried to shake the thought out of my head, determined that I wasn’t going to ruin the first true happiness I’d ever had.
We went home that night and instead of staying at the safe house, I stayed with Ryder. It felt so amazing to be so close. I wanted to stay with him forever, but I knew my time was running out. There was something very real that I was going to have to face soon enough.
Fang was still calling me and pressing me for information. I gave him mixed information, some real and some fake. Any of the real information I gave him was inconsequential. I’d made a decision in my mind, but I had to figure out how I was going to reconcile it.
I couldn’t sell this club out. They’d become my friends and treated me better than anyone else, including my own flesh and blood had. They were kind to me and loving. They offered me things I’d only dreamed of, but soon my world was going to come crashing down. I couldn’t keep this charade up for much longer.
The fact that Ryder and I were getting closer by the day didn’t really help matters either. I’d all but moved in with him and as the days turned to weeks I found myself falling in love with him. It was a strange feeling, considering I had never really believed in love. People talked about it all the time, but I’d never seen it first-hand. The only kind of affection I’d ever seen was brought on by obligation. If it wasn’t obligation, then it was a means to an end. Fang had taken care of me all these years so I’d keep fucking him, not because he actually cared about me.
I was at the dinner table one evening as Ryder set down a plate of steak and eggs. I’d quickly learned that he was the type of man who preferred breakfast for dinner. I jumped a little and cursed under my breath; I’d been lost in my own little world. I took a breath and ran my hand through my hair, sighing softly.
He raised a brow in my direction and hummed, spooning food into his mouth. “You okay over there?”
“Yeah. Just thinking,” I murmured.
He paused and set his fork down, looking over at me and cocking his head to the side. “Listen, I know you aren’t much of a talker, but if you have something on your mind, you can tell me.”
I closed my eyes and dropped my head. “The thing is, I’m afraid that if I tell you, you won’t ever look at me the same again,” I admitted quietly.
He paused and reached out, taking my hand and squeezing it, offering a show of support. “If we’re admitting things, I suppose I could go first,” he said softly. “Nothing is going to change the way I feel about you, Brittney. I love you.”
I stared at him, my heart beating a million miles a minute. I was breathing hard and there were tears in my eyes. “What?” I asked, sure that I hadn’t heard him correctly.
“I love you. I know it’s kind of soon and you don’t have to say it back, but just want you to know,” he said, nodding firmly.
I swallowed the thick swell of emotion that was working its way up my throat and closed my eyes, shaking my head back and forth. “You can’t say that!” I whispered, covering my mouth.
He frowned and stared at me a moment. “You don’t have to get upset. I don’t expect you to say it back.”
“That’s not it!” I choked, closing my eyes. “That’s not it at all.”
“Then what is it?”
“I love you too, Ryder. More than I ever thought I could love anyone. But I’m working for Chaos Theory!” I spat out, unable to keep myself under control.
I watched his face fall and in that moment, I knew that whatever we had wasn’t going to survive this.
Chapter Twelve
My heart was in my throat and the pain that gripped my chest was something I couldn’t describe. I felt hopeless and unsure of what to do next. I’d just given away the secret I’d been terrified of admitting and Ryder was sitting there, staring at me silently.
I felt tears come to my eyes. “I’m sorry. God, Ryder I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” he whispered, his jaw clenching in anger “You’ve played us and put my entire family in danger and all you can say is you’re sorry?” he whispered.
“They aren’t in danger! Not yet. I’ve been holding them off. I’ve been lying until I could figure out the right time to tell you,” I practically begged him to believe me.
“The right time was weeks ago when you first came here!” he snapped, slamming his hand down on the table.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” I whispered, tears in my eyes, staring at him as my lips trembled.
“Sorry doesn’t fix this!” he growled, putting his head in his hands. “I need to talk to Damien,” he said, standing quickly. He glanced back at me and snapped his fingers and pointed right at me. “Up. You’re coming too.”
My blood ran cold, but I did as he said, standing and keeping my head down as tears coursed down my cheeks. I’d never been so full of remorse before in my life. We went straight to Damien’s home and when we were welcomed inside Damien was seated with Chloe. The baby was down for a nap and seeing my best friend sitting there made me shake. She’d been so kind to me and she was about to find out that I’d betrayed her and everything she loved.
“Brittney?” she whispered.
Ryder pointed to a chair. “Sit there!” he growled.
I winced but did as I was told. Chloe stood up, frowning deeply. “Why are you being so cruel to her?”
“No Chloe, I deserve it. All of it,” I whispered weakly.
The confusion on her face broke my heart and Damien glanced at me and then Ryder. “What in the world is going on, Ryder?” he asked.
“Tell them!” Ryder snapped, looking me in the eyes. “Tell them what you told me!”
My throat felt as if it was closing and I was honestly scared that I might be unable to speak. I closed my eyes and dropped my head, rocking back and forth, trying to find my voice. It took me a few moments, but soon enough I managed to pull myself together enough to speak. The words came out in a trembling cascade and with every confession I saw Chloe and Damien’s eyes widen in horror. I told them everything. I told them the plan and how many there would be. I told them about the weapons stock and anything else I could think of.
“I’m sorry,” I finally whispered. “I know it doesn’t change anything and I know it doesn’t make it better, but I’m sorry and I’m willing to do whatever I have to in order to show you I mean it and that I’m ready to make this right,” I said, my bottom lip quivering.
Damien was rubbing his temple slowly, his mind going a million miles a minute. He finally opened his eyes and looked at me, sitting up. Chloe was looking away, her eyes full of betrayal and disappointment. I hated myself for hurting them so much.
“I’m so-”
“Don’t say it again,” Chloe whispered, her voice shaking as she looked up at me. “We welcomed you here. We cared for you and made sure you were safe, but you were never in any real danger at all.”
“I was terrified!” I whimpered my eyes wide. “The only life I’ve ever known was in that gang! I had to fight for everything and I didn’t know, I didn’t know I could be happy like this! I know I messed up, but I’m willing to do anything to show you that I’m ready to redeem myself! I’ll do anything, anything at all,” I said quickly, my eyes wide.
Damien held a hand out, motioning for Chloe to stay quiet for now. “You have a lot to make up for,” he said, his eyes narrowed and trained on me.
I nodded slowly and looked down. I hated the way I felt. I hated myself for doing this. I hated that I had betrayed the only people in this world who’d looked after me and cared for me. I felt like the worst piece of scum, worse even than th
ose that sent me here. I took a shuddering breath and looked at him with tears in my eyes.
“I know it’s hard to believe me. I know that, but you have to try and understand that I was backed against a wall,” I told him. “My mother abandoned me and the only way for me to survive was to get into bed with one of those animals. They threatened to kill me on a daily basis and the only thing I had going for me was the fact that the leader wanted to sleep with me. If I thought I had a choice, I would have left a long time ago. I hate what I’ve done, I hate it so much and I want to be here! This feels like family and I want to be a part of that.”
As he listened, Damien’s gaze softened and he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Alright,” his eyes flicked up to mine and hope welled in my chest.
“But you have a lot to prove, kid.”
Chapter Thirteen
We needed to act fast. Things could go very wrong very quickly, and just like Damien said, I had a lot to prove. I waited nervously in the room, feeling jittery and bouncing on the balls of my feet as my teeth chattered. The entire gang was gathered outside, drinking and chatting as if they were having a party. I would have expected more nervous energy, but everyone other than me seemed calm. I wondered how they could sit there so easily but I understood that if they showed any other emotion than that, the entire plan would implode.
I’d called Fang earlier in the day and while Damien and Ryder listened in on my call, I told him Damien’s club was having a party tonight. Since there would be drinks no one would be armed. I informed him of a back route to the camp that I hadn’t even known about until now. On paper it seemed like a good way to get in and out of the camp, but since it was the only way through the woods and hills, it was going to present a problem for Chaos Theory.
Damien planned on having his men sneak back around after Chaos Theory entered the camp and block-off the exit. It was going to be one hell of a trap. Once they realized that Damien’s gang was in fact armed, they would try to leave and get pinched in between the two groups. Chaos Theory would be outnumbered and they’d go down.
