by Lissa Kasey
“No. Just the earth doing a weird little thing when a powerful air witch, a dhampir, and a vampire with amplifying magic all get busy. At least I didn’t get visuals. I’d need brain bleach.”
“Like I haven’t seen enough of your naked ass?”
“Sexing with Gabe?” He wanted to know.
“Thankfully, no.” I frowned. “And um, gross.”
“Gabe’s hot. I’m hot.”
“You’re pretty. Like bend over and give him that boy pussy of yours pretty. Gabe is like…stuffy. It takes away all his attractiveness.”
“Boy pussy?” Seiran seemed to think about that for a bit.
“When your hole looks a lot like a lady hole?”
“How would you know what my hole looks like?”
“I don’t and would like it to stay that way.”
He blinked at me. “How do our conversations always spiral like this?”
I shrugged. “It’s a gift. Anyway, so you want to know what to do? Advice from the king of screwups? Give him an ultimatum. Leave the big man if he doesn’t go to ground.”
“And if he doesn’t pick me?” He sounded so broken asking that question that I took the container of ground oats from him and put it on the counter so I could wrap my arms around him. I’d never been a hugger before this group. Still wasn’t really, but I knew sometimes it was necessary just to keep us from falling apart.
“You are the Pillar of fucking earth, Ronnie. First male in known history. You’re Father Earth. Connected to the big rock unlike anyone could ever dream.”
“Which isn’t always a good thing,” Seiran grumbled.
“Agree with you there. But stop thinking of yourself as less. You’re not weak, you’re a Pillar. You’re not unlovable, you have a whole slew of us idiots following you around. You’re not useless, ‘cause the earth would explode without you right now. So why do you let someone make you feel that way?”
“Never pegged you for a pep talk.”
“Yet you came to me and shoed my guys from the room so we could talk. You could be with Kelly or Jamie right now.” I let him go, and he returned to his kitchen chaos.
“They’re upstairs at Jamie’s place.” His face flushed. “Sort of doing what you did.”
“Party?”
He nodded.
“Wow, that’s some power.” I wondered if I could tune into it and then why I would want to. “You maybe need some more training to focus that power?”
“I have to take care of the twins. They are my priority.”
“Not blowing up the earth should be at the top of that list too. The whole world-go-boom thing would make for no babies.”
“Haven’t blown it up so far,” Seiran said.
“Luck. Pure luck. I’m sure of it.”
“Bastard.”
“Jerk.”
“Help me cook while I think.”
“I suck at cooking, but I can clean and hand you ingredients.” Best to keep the witch focused on chemistry rather than biology. “It can’t be just Jamie’s suggestion that has you up here ready to cook for an army.”
“He’s mad,” Seiran said.
“Gabe is mad? Why?” I said, knowing instantly he was talking about Gabe and not Jamie.
“Because he can’t get any QuickLife. Jamie disabled his wi-fi and phone. He’d have to leave the building to get it, and he can’t do that till dark. I offered him blood. He refused. I pointed out there’s blood in the freezer. He said he hates the stuff. I understand it’s not great. But why refuse me?”
That was an interesting revelation. “How long has it been since he fed on you?”
Seiran shook his head. “I don’t know. Months at least. Since long before you went to ground.”
Was it Gabe’s last way of protecting Seiran? Maybe he was so hungry that if he started he wouldn’t stop? Or maybe he feared the witch would bring him clarity he didn’t want? I really was at a loss for what might be going on in his head. “If it makes you feel better, you’re still the best blood I’ve ever tasted. Even better than Luca who is like a fucking Dom Perignon.” Not that I’d ever tried the wine, but it was the principle of the thing.
Seiran didn’t say anything, instead focusing on the food. It seemed to be some sort of stuffed potatoes, with bacon, broccoli, ranch dressing and dill pickles, which sounded weird. He set me up on cleaning an entire four pounds of strawberries of which he planned to dunk in chocolate. “Are you making a romantic dinner?” I asked him.
“Seems to fit,” he said. He added some fresh steaks to a bag of marinade. “Since you had sex already. Sort of like a date at home, right?”
I didn’t think I needed to wine and dine Con or Luca, but I didn’t point it out to Seiran that he was being romantic when he’d always thought of himself as practical.
“Luca could probably use the iron anyway,” Seiran said.
“He’s had plenty of iron,” I assured Seiran recalling the bite to my thigh. Who knew that could be so erotic?
“Don’t rain on my parade, Sammie.”
I put my hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay.”
“Do you need more food? You’re so thin. Not unhealthy, but very lean.”
“I ate well today,” I promised him. Wasn’t hungry at all. But I’d had the first blood pack, nibbled from Luca twice, and finished off the second doctored blood pack right before Seiran had arrived. “I thought the vampire thing was why I’d gotten so lean.”
He stared at me for a while before finally saying, “I don’t know much about vampires.”
“And yet you’re practically married to one.”
Again he flinched. I think it was the reminder that they were bound. “He hasn’t slept. Even today when he came in late. Jamie said he paced the apartment.”
The agitation sounded a lot like Matthew’s. He’d gotten worse without sleep and no amount of blood could have fixed him in the end. Would he have been saner if he’d gone to ground? Somehow I didn’t think even the earth could fix that sort of crazy.
“I told him I was taking the babies out for a walk.”
“You lied to the big guy.”
His shoulders slumped. “I did walk them around the lobby.”
I snorted, that did not fix the lie. “Seiran…”
“I know. I just…”
“You have babies to focus on.” The twins were awake and mostly just making tiny noises at each other. I kept an eye on them as I dipped the strawberries and put them on a parchment-lined pan to harden.
“They’re talking to each other. I can’t understand it, but I feel the change in their emotions. They’re worried. Brand new babies and they are worried. Pretty sure it’s because of me. They shouldn’t have to worry about anything.”
I agreed, but Seiran hadn’t signed up to do this himself. Hell, he hadn’t wanted to be a dad at all. His anxiety planted too many scenarios in his head of what could go wrong. And wasn’t that exactly what was happening?
“I talked to my mom,” he said after he put the potatoes in the oven for the second time. We’d already been in the kitchen for over an hour. I could hear Con and Luca chatting in-between the small noises of the conversations in the game. They were playing Witcher 3, as far as I could tell. I loved that game. Would have enjoyed it more if the MC, who was a hot daddy, could buy more than just female whores at each town. But the game had plenty of gore and violence to suit most internal demon slaying needs.
“And?”
“She is giving me a house. Not the one I grew up in, but one she had built for me here. She wants me to take a look with her, see if there’s anything else to change before I move in with the twins. It has a lot of the same things my dad’s house had, or so she tells me. She wanted to make it an ideal place for two earth witches to grow up.”
“So you don’t have to go to California?”
“No. I wouldn’t anyway. The California house has already been converted into a safe house for young male witches. Last I heard it was full, and thriving. They d
on’t need my trouble.”
“How is your mom with Mizuki?”
Seiran finished putting everything away except the steaks, his eyes focused on the counter mostly as he seemed lost in thought. “She’s very animated with him. With both of them. Brings them gifts, holds them, feeds them, changes them and doesn’t seem bothered if they throw up on her.”
“Baby throw up is unavoidable.” I knew from experience.
“When I was little…” he began, “I sort of remember her always being there. Then she changed. What if she does that again?”
“Then you fuck her up,” I told him. “Pillar, remember?”
He let out a long sigh. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that.”
“How about you worry about that when it happens? If it happens?”
The timer beeped and Seiran took the potatoes out and set them on the counter to cool, then added the steaks to a pan. “How do they like their steaks?”
I had no idea. “Luca? Con? How do you like your meat?” I called to them.
Seiran flushed bright pink, and I couldn’t help but chuckle when Luca called back. “Long and uncut.”
“Good thing I’m both,” I told Seiran who mock growled at me. “I mean your steak, dumbass.”
“Rare, soaking in its own juice,” Luca threw back.
“Is everything he says related to sex?” Seiran wanted to know.
“I’m pretty sure everything he does is sex,” I assured him. “’Cause really, who wouldn’t want to tap that?”
“He’s sort of boy band cute without the facial hair,” Seiran allowed.
“I heard that!” Luca sounded indignant. “And Con wants his steak medium well. Boy band…the fucking nerve of some people! I’m at least Adam Levine hot.”
“Not without tattoos,” Con said. “I’m Adam Levine hot.” And he kind of was. I agreed. Seiran nodded and cooked their steaks while they continued to argue.
“Epiphanies?” I asked Seiran once he’d removed both steaks from the stove to rest before adding his own. At least he was planning to eat.
“Still thinking.”
“You think too much.”
“We both do,” he said. Wasn’t that the truth. “Are you happier now? You’ve only been back a little while and you seem happier. More calm at least.”
“I have two hot guys in the living room waiting for me, why wouldn’t I be happy?” I was happier. Not so much because Luca and Con, though that was great, but because I was no longer looking at the world and waiting for it all to end. “I’m alive, Ronnie. You know that’s a good thing, right?”
“Is it?”
I remembered Luca’s comment about how Seiran spent more time worrying about life than living it, and how I didn’t want to be the same. “I want to live the life I have. Sometimes that’s going to suck. Sometimes bad things happen. But sometimes good things happen too.” I pointed to the living room and then to the babies. We both had good things, even if sometimes they confused and stressed us out. “You gotta choose how to live your life, Ronnie. Either spend every day wishing you could die, or live it until you do. I’m choosing to live.”
He went silent again, staring at his steak like it held the answers to all his questions. “Gabe said he’ll be up right after dark to take you hunting tonight.”
I frowned. “Why would I need to go hunting if I have Luca?” Wasn’t that the point of having a cibo?
“I asked him the same thing. He said that your cibo wouldn’t always be available so you had to master hunting. He didn’t make it sound like you were just going to a club to convince some cute boy to let you close for a nibble.”
Was Gabe hunting hunting? Like stalking people and taking them by force? Was that why he was gone every night?
“Will you go with him?” Seiran asked. He took his steak off the fire and turned off the burner.
“And if I see something we both don’t want to know about him?”
“I don’t think he’s hurting anyone,” Seiran said softly.
“Just because there hasn’t been bodies, doesn’t mean he’s not hurting anyone.” Vampires didn’t need to kill to eat, but a vampire as old as Gabe probably knew how to hide bodies if he’d lost that much control.
“Gabe isn’t like that,” Seiran continued.
I wasn’t so sure.
“It will make the decision easier.” He fell silent again for another minute and began plating up the food like he worked in some high-end restaurant. It surprised me in that moment to realize, while I smelled the food, it didn’t irritate me like it had before. It looked tasty and smelled pleasant, not overwhelming to the point of making me gag like everything had before I’d gone to ground. That was a bonus.
“Do you have any spells you remember that might help?” Seiran finally asked as he was putting together the last plate. “From the books Roman gave you?”
We didn’t talk about those. In fact, I let no one know that I still had those books. Most of them. Some had been damaged by water, but borrowing Kelly’s power I’d been able to dry them out easily enough. They were currently buried and spelled to protect them from insects and elements. I had hoped to find enough clarity eventually to begin searching them for what I really was. Make some sense of my power.
“Help how, Ronnie? He just needs to go to ground.”
“Maybe so he’s not so against it?”
“Control him? I’m pretty sure that’s your job as a Focus. I don’t know of any magic to control a vampire other than the sire-baby vamp dynamic. And last I heard his sire is dead.” Andrew Roman’s wife had been the one who made Gabe as far as I knew. And he’d turned around and killed her for killing his lover Titus. We all knew just tiny bits of the story. I had a feeling there was a lot more left unsaid than anyone realized. “You have the power to put him in the ground if he won’t go willingly,” I pointed out.
“I don’t want him to hate me.”
“Seiran, I’m pretty sure Gabe hates himself right now. This self-destruction? And you realize that’s what it is right? Because he knows that he could fix this with going to ground. This is something inside him that is broken. Not because of you, or the babies, or even life. It’s something in him that has gone wrong.” I knew that Gabe knew that. It was common sense and the man had never lacked common sense. Maybe it was more complicated. Maybe Tresler was keeping him above ground with threats. Gabe wasn’t sharing with us, so it was hard to know all the details. “He needs to rest. I just did it and I’m now a fan.”
“Vampires used to go to ground every night,” Luca said, coming into the kitchen. “They didn’t have cushy lives to live, so they could do that. Now they try to maintain the status quo and it wears at them. My dad still goes to ground every night—well every morning. I think that’s why he’s so powerful. He’s also never lost centuries like Galloway did.”
“Hard to have a lover that way,” I pointed out. “I kind of liked sleeping with you guys today.”
“I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary to go to ground nightly,” Luca said. “But maybe on a set schedule? Once a month? Like on the new moon or something?”
That reminded me. “So I have something to confess and I want both of your takes on this,” I said.
Con appeared in the kitchen. Seiran pushed their plates towards them and pulled up his own. “Should we not start eating before this confession? Is it going to be gross?” Seiran asked. “Like boy pussy gross?”
“I like boy pussy,” Luca said.
“I’m pretty sure you like boy everything,” Con pointed out.
“I’m trying to be serious,” I told them. “And um, no. Just what do you think I’d be confessing?”
“Maybe you like to be double-teamed and haven’t shared that with us yet,” Luca said.
I blinked at Luca.
Seiran pointed his fork at him. “I don’t want to know that.”
“I don’t mind being double-teamed as long as I’ve been appropriately stretched,” Luca said. �
��Can be really good with the right pair.”
Con and I exchanged a look. My pants tightened. Seiran growled. It was funny because it sounded more like his lynx than him. “Okay, Ronnie. Nothing I can do about the porn star sitting over there. But my confession has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with how I got out of the tomb.”
“I was wondering about that,” Luca said. “Those things have a ton of safety features to keep people out and vampires in.”
“How did you get out?” Seiran asked.
“And all the way across town for Galloway to find you?” Luca wanted to know.
Did Seiran know about Galloway? He waved away the question he must have seen on my face. “I’ve already questioned Luca at length. He might not be undead yet, but all humans are a product of the earth.”
“He can be very persuasive, and terrifying,” Luca said, for the first time not adding any innuendos to his comment. The witch scared him, which I thought was a good thing. Anyone with half a brain should be scared of Seiran Rou.
“I flew,” I told them. “That’s how I got out.”
“Vampires don’t fly,” Seiran said.
“You wouldn’t have gotten through the door that way,” Luca stated.
“I changed into a raven and walked through the slats in the grate at the top, then flew. I thought it was a dream at first, until I ran into a tree, and then Galloway siren-called me to his window.” I blurted out all the details, waiting for the shock and disbelief.
Luca looked thoughtful. Seiran seemed confused. Con was frowning.
“What?” I demanded.
“Seems odd that you manifested as an air animal,” Seiran said. “Your power never seemed set to one specific element. Maybe it was because Roman was your sire?” Andrew Roman had been an air witch, and because he’d fed from me until the point of death, Gabe had been able to bring me back as a vampire. So technically Roman was my sire, though Gabe had been the one to give me his blood to raise me. Did that mean I still maintained some of Roman’s abilities?
“Vampires don’t change,” Luca said.
“Vampires aren’t normally witches,” Seiran pointed out.
“I think it’s sort of my fault,” Con said. We all looked at him. “He’d been under so long, and I knew they’d tried blood, but I went to the grave and thought if I added a little of my own, maybe it would help?”
