by Camille Eide
“I know. I’m so sorry, Luke.” Tears sprang to her eyes with the stinging reminder of how she’d hurt him.
He drew back just enough to see her and brushed a tear from her cheekbone, gripping her with his gaze. “I tried but I couldn’t. Seeing you and not being near you—it’s killing me.”
Savanna reached her arms around his neck and kissed him, responding with everything her heart had been aching to say, melding her lips into his until she heard the rumble of a low moan in his throat.
“I love you, Luke,” she whispered against his lips. “Please forgive me.”
He held her tight, nuzzling her neck, stroking her hair. “I do, baby. I do.”
Thank You, God.
“Savanna Holt, call holding at the front desk.” The summons grated across the lobby loudspeakers. “Savanna Holt, please come to the desk.”
Luke lifted his head and frowned in the direction of the lobby. “You’re being paged?”
Savanna’s mind raced. She had requested a doctor’s order for an IV “I better get that. It’s probably about James.”
Legs still a little wobbly, she went to the desk. Luke followed. She thanked the attendant and took the receiver.
“This is Savanna Holt.”
“Savanna, it’s Nat."
“Oh, hey, Natalie, I'm sorry. I should have called you sooner. Mylie is having a blast. I'm just a little stuck here at the moment.”
“No, that's OK. I already talked to my father-in-law. Listen, I’m know I’m interrupting your Christmas Eve, but I have a message for you and wanted you to get it before you gotback on the road.”
“Is something wrong? Is it your dad?”
“No. It’s good news. Your mom’s been trying to call your cell. South Boston Medical Center called yesterday. Your application is being considered. They want to interview you!”
“Me? But they told me they filled all the slots.”
“Sorry, babe, I don’t know anything about that. The position is for ICU staff nurse.”
Savanna’s jaw fell. “ICU? Are you sure?”
Luke watched in taut silence as she took the name and number of the person to contact. With shaking hands, Savanna wrote it all down, her mind in a fog. This was what she’d always wanted. No, it was more. New grads just weren’t offered positions like this every day. Her head felt like she’d just spent an hour on the Tilt-O-Whirl.
She replaced the receiver. “I think I’m gonna puke.” She turned to Luke in a daze. “That was Natalie. I—I can’t believe it. South Boston Medical called. They want to interview me for an ICU staff nurse position!”
His lips pressed into a tight line. “I heard. Congratulations.” His hand reached for the back of his neck, then he turned and walked off.
****
Pacing the second floor landing, Savanna could see the people buzzing around in the lobby below, including the Freemans and Luke.
God, what just happened? This is crazy! Did I just get Luke and my dream job within minutes of each other?
Savanna had no doubt each of those was a God-thing—but she couldn’t have both. How could she be in two places at once? Luke’s life was here in Oregon. And the job of a lifetime was being offered to her on the other side of the country.
Numb, Savanna squeezed her eyes shut, trying to think. This was almost unheard of. New grads didn't get positions like this. It had to be some kind of record. A miracle.
It was an answer to prayer.
And yet so was Luke.
“Lord, thank You for answering my prayers, but now what am I supposed to do?”
She sat on a bench in the hall and tried to think, but adrenaline surged through her and she sprang to her feet and paced again. Christmas music drifted up along with the chatter of voices and the scent of cider and cocoa. She descended the stairs and headed for James’s room.
God, I thought I knew what I wanted. But now You’re offering me two things I want, and I can’t have them both. It’s like I have to choose one gift and return the other.
She drew a deep breath and slipped into James’s room, asked his friends how he’d been, checked his tube and his vitals, and asked if he was in pain. He was bored out of his mind, but holding out OK. She'd finally gotten the IV order, so she set up a fluid drip, prayed for him again and left. Then she took the stairs to her room.
Was I wrong? Is landing an amazing, prestigious job so bad? It must not be, or else You wouldn’t have brought it my way. And Luke—how could I possibly let him go after all we’ve been through?
She rounded the corner and entered the hallway to her room. A woman was knocking on one of the doors. Savanna’s door.
Donna.
“Hi. Is there something—”
Donna clutched at her chest with one hand and steadied herself against the doorframe with the other.
Savanna rushed to her, looked around for a seat and helped her onto a hall bench. “What is it? Are you in pain? Tell me what’s going on.” She took her pulse, noting a fairly normal beat.
“My chest hurts. I don’t feel well.”
“OK, just relax now as best you can. Any tingling or numbness in your arm? Do you feel lightheaded? Nausea?”
Donna shook her head.
“Where is the pain?”
Donna pointed to a spot near her throat.
Savanna let out a breath. OK. Not her heart. She asked her a few more questions, narrowing down the possibilities. “Have you ever had trouble with acid reflux?”
The woman eyed her. “Yeah. The doctor gave me purple pills. I forgot to bring them.”
“That’s all right. Just relax and let’s see if we can get you some Maalox or something. OK?”
Crossing her arms, Donna lifted her chin. “I looked for you down there with the others but I didn’t see you. I have your room number. You said I could ask you if I needed anything.”
“Yes, and I’m glad you came to me. We’ll get you feeling better soon.”
Donna huffed out a sigh. “Oh, I’m all right.” She lowered her chin and fiddled with the hem of her blouse. “I’m just tired of being here. I don’t know anybody.” Her voice cracked. “I was supposed to be with my daughter tonight. She’s about your age.”
Ah. Savanna gave Donna’s shoulder a rub and smiled. “It’s been a long day. I think a lot of people here feel the same way. Listen, they’re having games and cocoa downstairs, and I’d love it if you’d join me for a game. What do you say?”
Donna sniffed. “You don’t have to do that. You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
Savanna chuckled. “I’ve been accused of worse. Anyway, what would it hurt? I saw some Scrabble, cribbage and chess, and a few other games. And the iced gingerbread cookies look amazing.”
With a frown, Donna rose. “OK, I’ll go. But I don’t want any cocoa. Gives me bathroom trouble.”
“Deal.” Savanna took Donna’s arm and escorted her down to the party, pushing her warring thoughts and worries aside for a while.
God, I think I know which choice to make. But maybe you could send me a little sign. Just to help me be sure.
10
Donna ended up being quite the little competitor when it came to cribbage, and after winning a round, she told Savanna she was ready to try a cup of cocoa. With a smile, Savanna got her a cup just as Luke entered and asked for the guests’ attention. He announced that everyone was invited to gather around the Christmas tree at eight o’clock for a special Evergreen Ridge holiday tradition, and then the games could continue afterward for all the die-hard gamers.
He wove through the crowd toward Savanna as she delivered Donna’s cocoa. She looked into his eyes, uncertain of how to read the storm of emotions in his face.
“Savanna, can we talk?”
She agreed. As he led her across the lobby to the empty breakfast room, her mind raced. She hadn’t had much chance to formulate her thoughts into words, and she needed to do this right. How would he respond?
When he turned to her,
she jumped in first, hoping to avoid a painful scene. “Luke, this job offer—”
“I know. You don’t have to say anything. I’ve been thinking and praying about this. About you.” He searched the floor, struggling to find the words. He drew a deep breath and looked deep into her eyes. “Listen, I know this is your dream job. I would never want to hold you back or stand in the way of your heart’s desire. And I know you’re not in it for the title—I’ve seen you at work. It’s your heart. You have an amazing gift, and I’m proud of you for pursuing the training to do what you love. I know it wasn’t easy. Just like…this isn’t easy.”
“What isn’t easy?” Her heart jumped to her throat. “What are you saying?”
“Don’t worry about me. I want to you take the job. You have my blessing.”
Her breath caught. “Why?”
His gaze swept over her. Something sad and tender in the quiet depths of his eyes sent a pang to her heart. “I want the very best for you.” His voice snagged on the last words. “Even if it doesn’t include me.”
Tears sprang to her eyes.
He pulled her into a hug and squeezed her tight. The thump of his heart struck her with every beat, twisting her insides. She clung to him, numb, unprepared for this.
He kissed the top of her head and then pulled away. He didn’t meet her eyes. “Good luck, Savanna,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Then he left her alone to stare at the glowing fire.
****
“Can I have your attention?” Luke addressed the crowd of guests later that evening in the Fireside Room and waited until everyone had quieted. “Thank you. We’ve invited you to this special Christmas service, a standing tradition at Evergreen Ridge that we’ve observed every year since long before I came here as a lowly ski-lift operator.”
Stung, Savanna waited to see if that last part was for her, but he didn’t look her way.
“Usually the lodge’s owner, Mr. Hollemann, and his family do this, but due to the storm, they’re not able to be with us. So please bear with me. We’re going to take part in our annual Christmas gift exchange.” Some of the guests mumbled about not being prepared. “I know, you might be thinking you didn’t bring a gift. But that’s the point. We’ll begin with a story.”
Luke opened a Bible and began to read from Luke chapter two. Savanna sat at the edge of the room near the fire and listened to the story of Jesus’s birth. She closed her eyes, letting the words penetrate her heart and remind her of the gift her Savior gave by coming to earth to live amongst men and later give up that life. For her.
When he finished reading, Luke looked up. “The gifts you are about to receive are just a small token, a reminder of the first Christmas. Christ came to earth for us in the broken state we were in, lost and in need of rescue, not because of anything we’ve done, but because He loves us. God sent His Son to bridge the gap, repair what was broken, restore what was lost. So please accept this simple gift on behalf of the Hollemann family and the staff of Evergreen Ridge as a reminder of God’s gift of love to us.”
Luke gave a nod to the staff to begin.
A burst of adrenaline surged through Savanna. She jumped up, made her way to Luke and drew him aside.
“That was beautiful, Luke. You did an amazing job.”
He watched her, his expression guarded.
“There’s just something I’d like to add to that.” Fire spread through her cheeks. “Hearing about God’s precious gift reminds me that His gifts come to us in ways we might miss if we’re not careful to watch and listen. For example, today, I learned about a very special job opportunity and I really hope it works out for me.”
Luke looked at the floor, arms folded taut across his chest.
She cleared her throat. “I understand Evergreen Ridge needs an EMT. I’d like to apply for the job.”
His head snapped up, and she watched his stunned gaze as she spoke. “I’m qualified and willing to work hard. Long hours, weekends, nights. And I would consider it a privilege and an honor to work here.” She willed her voice to stay steady. “I’m asking you to give me a chance.”
Luke stared at her, his chest moving as if he suddenly needed more air. “Why would you turn down your dream job to do something like that?”
“I’ve already been blessed with so many gifts. I love helping people in need, but I can do that anywhere. But I’ve also been given the gift of a second chance at the love of my life.” Tears blurred her vision. “I can’t lose you again, Luke.”
Luke didn’t move, didn’t speak, he only stared at her.
She inhaled to calm her quivering heart. “So...do you think I have a shot here?”
For a moment that felt like eternity, she waited.
“I think I can offer you something,” Luke said slowly. His gaze swept over the guests seated nearby and then back to her. “Just a minute, I’ll be right back.” He slipped around her and left the room.
Savanna glanced around. The Freemans sat near the tree with Mylie, opening their gifts. She moved around the seated people and went to the window near the tree, out of the way.
Luke returned, maneuvered through the crowd and met her. As the staff continued handing out gifts, Luke took Savanna’s hands in his and searched her eyes.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I love you, Luke.”
Something intense shone in the depths of his eyes, stealing her breath. Luke brushed a quick kiss on her lips, then glanced around, as if suddenly remembering there were other people in the room. He drew a deep breath. “Do you remember what I gave you our last Christmas here?”
Savanna wiped tears from beneath her eyes. “How could I forget?”
Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, crumpled package.
Stunned, she stared into his eyes. “But…I don’t have a gift for you.”
“Yeah, you do,” Luke said, an amused smile softening the look on his face. “You just gave it to me.”
She took the gift, tears welling again. “You offered me your heart once before, but because I listened to my screwed-up head instead of my heart, I lost it.”
With a smile, Luke moved closer. “No, baby.” He cupped her face in his warm hand and tilted her chin up so she could see him. “It’s here. Right where you left it.” He took a deep breath and stroked the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “If you still want it.”
“I do.” She smiled. “There’s nothing in this world I want more.”
Luke kissed her, and then drew her close. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you want?” he whispered in her ear.
“Positive. I couldn’t be more sure.”
Drawing back, Luke reached for her hand and took the package from her. “Not even this?” He tore the paper and pulled out a ring. Her engagement ring.
She squeaked and clapped a hand over her mouth. “How—you had it? Here?”
Luke frowned down at the ring. “It’s been in my desk for a while now. I felt sorry for one of the lift guys who couldn’t afford one, so I brought it one day and was going to just give it to him, but I couldn’t do it. I shoved it in the back of a drawer and tried to forget it was there.” He shook his head. “Never could, though.” Slowly, Luke raised his head and looked her in the eye. “It’s still yours, Savanna. Just say the word.” His chest filled and froze as he waited for her answer, his face still.
“Yes!” She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him until he laughed and picked her up.
A few people nearby murmured “aww” and someone clapped.
He hugged her so hard the room spun.
“Merry Christmas,” someone yelled, and as he set her down, others shouted it back.
“I love you, Savanna,” Luke said in her ear, his voice a quiet tremor. “Merry Christmas.”
Soft, jazzy strains of Joy To The World wove through the sounds of people talking, echoing the joy washing over her.
“Merry Christmas, Luke,” Savanna managed to whisper th
rough her tears.
And thank You, Lord.
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