Rainer said, coldly, “It’s the clearance that lets you work yourself to death in the name of the ship.”
The three of them looked at Rainer, and Lachesis pointed out, “Like you have never done that before.”
Rainer said, “It’s different for me. You don’t owe this ship a damn thing, and they’re just going to use you as a training dummy.”
“I’m not going to live the rest of my life as your pet guppy,” she snapped.
“So we take your implant out when you’re better.”
“You don’t want pups! You made that clear to me within the first hour of us meeting!”
“And I’ve since explained I do want pups, but just not on this damn ship!”
“Well, there’s really not a better option at the moment, is there? And your chances of being able to give me a pup to give me a purpose are pretty damn slim. How long would we try before we gave up? I could get pregnant the usual way, but would you accept a pup that’s not yours, or would I go back to being the pet guppy? Going to paint me a nice castle on the wall so I can wander around next to it while Exodus Syndrome rots my brain?”
His anger paused, because it hadn’t really dawned on him what he’d argued. Then, he said, smelling of defeat and helpless anxiety, “I have too many misgivings about having pups at all. I can accept if nature takes its course, but I’m not sure I can pursue one.”
Her heart cracked, but it wasn’t news, and at least he was honest. “Then I have to do this. I refuse to be your pet guppy. I refuse.”
Rainer moved to speak, then stayed silent, twitching all over like being bitten by bugs with a thousand arguments that started, then died.
Lachesis turned back to Doctor Ang.
The doctor said, “It’s a heart implant. This one will regulate your pulse, rhythm, electrical activity, blood pressure, adrenal function, so on. The uneven heartbeat you have? It will stabilize that. It will also send telemetry back to Medical so we can monitor you constantly, and if necessary, we can send commands to the implant to shock your heart in particular ways.”
“Oh,” she said, intrigued.
“We also are going to outfit you with a quick-delivery medication band,” Forrest added. “It will deliver IV injections of various medications in real-time if you need some sort of instant support. The two devices will give you the best chance of getting through the test without your heart failing.”
Rainer tensed with another argument, but said nothing and just glowered, reeking of anger, frustration, and helplessness.
“Minor procedure,” Ang said. “You are going to have to be awake for it, though. We can’t sedate you.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Rainer grumbled.
“Both.” To Lachesis, Ang said, “We’re going to use the remaining time before Aptitude to get your baselines and start practicing. It’s going to feel a bit strange when the implant takes over and tries to manipulate your heart.”
“And if I don’t want it?” She handed it back to Ang.
“These are your orders. We’ll take it out after Aptitude. They’re meant to be temporary measures to keep a critical officer functional during an emergency.” Ang pocketed the device. “You absolutely cannot shift forms with this in. It is only positioned for a human heart. It will rip through a wolf form heart, and you’ll dislodge it in war-form and probably kill yourself reverting.”
She nodded.
“I mean it, Lake,” she said intently. “You will die. Instantly. It will rip your heart. You will be dead before you hit the ground. Do you need MoonDark?”
Damn. How long was she going to be stuck with this thing in her? Three weeks? Four, maybe? Hell. But if she was going to get locked into a box of crazy while the command officers deliberately tortured her and seven other hapless souls, she’d like her odds of survival to be as good as possible. “I’m not a squirmy shifter. Are we doing this now?”
“Yes. Commander, you need to step out. This will take several hours.”
Rainer didn’t budge.
“You can go to work, Rainer,” Lachesis told him. Rainer was in a dark mood, and this had made it even worse. He seemed like he was about to start growling and pacing back and forth in all the least-popular ways werewolves did.
Rainer said to her, “I’ll wait. I won’t be far away.”
“You’ve been prickly for two days at the same time you’ve been clingy,” she said, annoyed and cross. “Can you decide if you’re mad at me or not, please?”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“Then I wish you’d tell me what’d crawled under your tail and started biting.”
“I’ll be nearby if I’m needed. I think I will get my tools. Just in case.”
“I’m certain that—” Forrest said.
But Rainer headed out.
Lachesis sighed.
“That was easier than expected,” Ang said.
“He’s been in a mood,” Lachesis said.
“The Commander is always in a mood when he is in Medical. We’re used to him around here,” Ang said, unperturbed.
“Go round everyone up,” Forrest told Ang.
Ang nodded and stepped out.
Forrest turned to her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Private conversation time,” Forrest said. “We’re going to put the implant in, but you need to be aware of what you’re up against before you go into the box.”
“Didn’t I just have this argument with Rainer?”
“No. Because if I’d told you this, Rainer would have lost his mind.”
She eyed him.
“You don’t think I know what your husband—and you—are? Oh, I know what Rainer is,” Forrest said dryly. “He did put his claws through my iso-pod.”
“What are we?” she asked warily.
“Ferals, right down to your marrow.”
At least he hadn’t said mate.
Forrest rubbed his thumb along the small canister containing the implant. “You’re being misled about how compromised your body still is. Nobody comes back from AGRS in three months. You come back to the point you can walk and take care of yourself and return to very light duty, but from there it’s months of rehab. Rainer senses it. The Omega and First generation male werewolves can become very sensitive to their spouses in the way females are sensitive to their offspring. They just know. When I see a male werewolf in here from low generation breeding and they’re fussing over their spouse, I take it seriously. They are never wrong.”
“Never?” she asked, skeptical. Male werewolves were fussy, clingy, smothering, over-attentive, and borderline paranoid. Possessed of some other-worldly instincts? Not likely.
Forrest shrugged. “I can’t tell you how it works, and I know Crèche won’t admit it exists at all. In Medical we see a lot of things that haven’t been explained, but it doesn’t change it will kill the patient.”
She knew she felt like shit and could barely manage to walk around the track at the gym and still had to take breather breaks getting up to Rainer’s quarters. “So my heart is shot.”
“You’re young and were otherwise in exceptionally good condition upon arrival. It’s too early to say how much recovery you’ll actually experience. But I am going to tell you that without this implant and medication band, you will die in the box. With this, your chances are about even.”
“So a fifty-fifty chance I’ll just drop dead.”
He snapped his fingers.
“Do I need to tell my crewmates?” she asked.
“I’d recommend it. You won’t have time to explain anything in Aptitude, and you might prove an unnecessary, and fatal, distraction. If you suddenly collapse, you’re going to be dead within a few minutes. There is no chance you can be saved.”
“Or they might write me off. I don’t want to explain why I have AGRS. My bunkmates took it badly.”
“As someone who has been through Aptitude himself, I would advise that the middle of a crisis is not the time to try to explain.”
/>
“So what’s the conversation you and I are having?”
“Tsu’s given me orders that are borderline illegal. He’s told me to just wave you through, and pump you full of whatever medications and devices I have. It eats into my allocations and resources, nevermind the ethics of it. I’m certain the baseline data we’ll collect will be more than adequate for me to revoke your clearance. You tell me you want out, I’ll tell Tsu you’re out and he can snarl and shout all he wants, and I’ll tell him to go pound sand.”
“What will that do to the scenario, though?” she asked, frowning.
“Nothing. Your sudden death has already been projected into the scenario as a real possibility.”
“Well, that’s grim.”
“I suspect that is what is upsetting your husband. We are literally sending you in to die.”
He said that like she hadn’t already been sent somewhere to die a few times in the recent past. “And if I don’t want to duck out?”
“I look the other way and wish you luck.”
She considered it for about ten seconds, then said, “Wish me luck, Doctor.”
Forrest half-smiled, humorless. “Funny. That’s exactly what Tsu said you’d say.”
Play Proper
“Look who decided to show up,” Lil said, half-grinning with one side of her mouth, which also flashed some teeth for Lachesis to see.
“I have arrived.” Lachesis was still getting used to the weird sensation of something being inside her heart and periodically zapping her. She hadn’t been specifically invited to work out with her Aptitude crew. She also hadn’t been not invited.
“We’re about halfway through.” Lil eyed Lachesis up and down. Lil had a solid frame that didn’t look strong until she started moving, then the packed muscles of her abs and the sinewy strength of her upper arms and calves became apparent. She’d been working out hard enough two veins traced a path down the length of her bicep towards her elbow. “They breed them scrawny on Ark, eh?”
“Don’t pick a fight.” Clint sighed as he dropped some weights onto the floor and straightened off the incline bench. Sweat soaked his shirt and trickled down the sides of his face.
She’d always been average height, average frame. Never been accused of being scrawny, not even in School, when all the kids had been like blades of grass. She’d never had a problem putting on muscle mass, although her muscle developed as lean and supple, not the fuller or sinewy varieties.
Sadly, as she contemplated her reflection, she’d had a lot of muscle wastage, and it showed.
“I’m not picking a fight. She’s just thin and late. Got bruises on her legs, arms, and toes.” Lil noted her up and down.
She bruised if she bumped into something these days. And she’d bumped all her toes getting out of her bunk at one time or another.
Jeremy sighed and rolled his eyes. “You got a crewmate that shows up thin and covered in bruises of various ages, and the first thing out of your mouth is ‘scrawny’? Maybe you should ask what the hell happened.”
Lil flushed.
Jeremy swung his attention to her. “So what the hell happened to you?”
“Do you actually have Medical clearance?” Clint asked suspiciously.
“Yes, I have Medical clearance.” Technically. Technically she had Medical clearance.
“Because that looks like cardiovascular compromise,” Lil said, eyeing her up and down again. “Yep. Extremities pale or blue, pale lips, bruising on lower extremities, muscle wasting.”
“I think it looks like my toes are firmly attached, nails and all.” Lachesis lifted her left foot and wriggled her toes, then pointed them at Lil.
Belle and Dietrich snickered.
Her crewmates had camped out this portion of the gym, so she went to retrieve one of the weighted leather balls stacked along the wall. She only had a few weeks until Aptitude, so she needed to regain as much fitness as she could between now and then. With the implant in, and the medication band on board, she intended to get everything she could from it.
She tossed the ball against the wall. It bounced back, and felt like a stone hitting her square in the chest. She braced herself with one foot so she didn’t fall over, grit her teeth, and squared up.
Lil snorted and hefted some heavy weights towards a bench.
Lachesis ignored her and tossed the ball again.
“Gonna have to work a bit harder than that,” Dietrich told her.
“You planning on sweating?” Lil teased.
She was already sweating. She chucked the ball again. The pain of catching it when it bounced back sent sharp jolts through every joint in her hands. Like little licks of fire. Was this the lightest weight one? Did someone have a sock doll or something? Maybe that’s what she needed.
Lil ducked between her and the wall, and caught the ball with one hand, then lobbed it at her. “Come on, Lake. Sweat!”
The ball smacked her right in the lower jaw and collar. She staggered. The ball rolled away.
“What the hell, Lil.” Clint sighed at her.
“Come on, she wasn’t doing much,” Lil said.
“Fuck off,” Lachesis growled, trying to shake the stinging pain out of her hands. “Everyone gets it, Lil. Now go piss on someone your own size.”
“Exactly. You’re supposed to be my size,” Lil said, shouldering up to her and giving her a bump.
I was until I got brought here. She shoved Lil back with both hands.
Lil shoved Lachesis into the mirrors.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Clint shouted as he and Jeremy flung down weights and jumped between them. Jeremy grabbed Lachesis and herded her back a few steps while Clint grabbed Lil.
The implant zapped her heart, then cold sliced through her upper arm as the medication band delivered some med.
“I’m not interested in being in that box with a bum.” Lil jabbed her finger at Lachesis.
The medication slowed her heartbeat, and the implant needled her a few more times, giving the weirdest sensation of her heart wanting to race, but being restrained.
Jeremy said, “Lachesis, some of the crew are concerned you’re not putting in the same effort in the gym as everyone else.”
“Really? You’re pulling Operations conflict resolution on me?” Lachesis asked.
“Yeah. Yeah, I am. Live by example and all.”
“I think this was literally one of my scenarios for Entry,” she said, sarcastic. Living by example? More like reading from the script.
Dietrich said, “Let her do whatever she wants. It’s not going to matter. They started designing the test months ago. They’re not changing the core on account of her.”
Belle abandoned her pull-downs. “Bullshit way to look at it. The box can kill us. She matters, Dide.”
“Lake?” Jeremy prompted.
Fuck. She pulled off her loose shirt, revealing the wound glue over her heart and the tight medication band wrapped around her upper bicep like a lumpy divesuit. “AGRS. Heart implant, medication band, Critical Officer clearance. Now can we get back to exercising?”
Belle poked her medication band. “I’ve never seen one of those. You seen one of these, Lil?”
Lil, however, said, “Holy shit. You were in the iso-pod. That was you.”
Lachesis pulled her shirt back on and straightened it around her hips. She didn’t answer right away. Belle glared at Lil. “Shut up. Nobody cares.”
“Maybe we should. The rumor is she was going to get euthanized. You want that in the box with us?” Lil insisted.
Lachesis scooped up the ball and willed herself to not fling it straight at Lil. “I am not a that.”
“Euthanasia is a nasty and stupid rumor,” Clint said roughly. “The officers will knock you back for spreading that garbage.”
Lil flushed. “I trust who told me.”
Belle said, “And I trust who tells me the Core is haunted, but I sure as hell don’t believe him. There are rumors we traded a hive of bees for Lake, but nobody down i
n Biome’s noticed a hive go missing. You want me to keep going about stupid rumors?”
“If rumors were exterior tiles, we’d have all the chiplets we need,” Clint said.
Belle gestured to Clint with both hands. “Wisdom.”
“And if she was going to get euthanized, you don’t care what that says about her?” Lil persisted.
“Fuck, drop it, Lil,” Clint muttered under his breath.
“Euthanasia is a big deal,” Lil said coldly. “She can’t go from the trash heap to Aptitude like it’s nothing.”
Jeremy grimaced, and Belle said, “Do you hear how stupid you sound? Have you even thought about this for more than five seconds?”
“Yeah, I’ve thought about it,” Lil retorted. “But show me your math.”
“I’m not Operations, but if they planned on euth’ing a fertile she-wolf with seven years in Crèche that they also paid a hive of bees to acquire to marry our Third Officer, then it sounds to me like someone in Operations really screwed up the paperwork. Dide? Jeremy? Yes? No?”
Dietrich grimaced, and said, “Sorry, Lil, your source may be right about her being in the pod for euth, but it had to have been a huge mistake. Why not just send her back and try to get the bees back?”
It hadn’t been a mistake, and it’d been very real, but if they were willing to believe it’d been a big misunderstanding… that would be amazing.
Lil deflated and grumbled. “Yeah, maybe. I hadn’t thought it might have been a paperwork screw-up. How does that get fucked up?”
Now it was Clint’s turn to grimace. “We’ve had a lot of challenges incorporating her into the system. Adding a new baby is one thing, but adding a new adult has been…”
His face screwed up tighter, like he’d tasted something bad, and Belle grimaced too. Lachesis read it plain on their faces: they knew about the incident involving Security and the horribly serious security flaw that had been in the ship’s helm system.
Separated Starlight (NightPiercer Book 2) Page 11
