So when Skylar became promiscuous throughout the ninth and tenth grades, I got it, I knew where it was all coming from. She wanted them to give her the attention she needed. Though I didn’t agree with it, I knew the way she was being wasn’t really who she was. It was how she coped with her shitty aunt and dead family. It was her escape.
One day, at the beginning of the eleventh grade, she came to me all excited about a guy named Parker Michelson asking her out on a ‘real’ date. This wasn’t the first time a hot guy asked her out, but with this one it was different; she cared about what he thought. She got changed over and over again, toned down her makeup, and even second-guessed how she should wear her hair. I could tell that she really liked him.
I’m not going to say I know exactly what happened, because I don’t. Skylar and I have never spoken of that night. But I really think that somehow her expectations of the night really didn’t match his and I think this threw her off guard. I think how sweet and endearing he was being hid the fact that he wasn’t a good person; that he was actually a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I think a guy finally gave her what she was looking for, and she clung to it hopefully. I think he ripped all of the hope out of her that night and left me to pick up the pieces.
I remember gasping at the sight of her when she appeared at my window. She was drenched in rain and covered in mud, wearing only half of the clothes she had left my house in. Her favorite sweater was torn and dangling by her side, and she looked frozen, hugging herself in the tiny tank top and mini skirt that still remained on her body. Her lips were blue from the cold and she held them together tightly, trying not to let her teeth chatter. Her face was pale and her right cheek was now a deep shade of purple and black. I could see smeared blood on her neck and shoulder, but I couldn’t tell if it was hers or someone else’s.
“Oh my God, Sky!” I gasped. I helped her in the window, and calmly draped my comforter over her frozen body. She curled up into a little ball on my bedroom floor and began to cry. She cried for over an hour and all I did was sit next to her running my hands through her mud-caked hair.
Eventually, when her tears subsided, I asked, “Can you make it to the shower?” I wanted to help her clean up a bit. I needed to metaphorically wash her pain away. I didn’t know what else to do.
She nodded and pushed herself up off of the floor slowly.
I took her arm tenderly and led her to the bathroom, turned the hot water on, and began to undress her.
“What did he do?” I finally managed, but she just shook her head.
“Sky, please. You have to tell me what he did.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. It never happened,” she replied in a hoarse whisper. Her eyes burned into mine telling me that I was never to bring this up again.
I reluctantly nodded. “Ok,” I breathed, motioning for her to step into the shower.
She stepped in but seemed uneasy about being in there alone so I went in with her. I was fully clothed, though, and it felt strange with the water drenching into my PJs. She leaned into me and I held her. I held her as all the mud and rain washed away from her body and flowed down the drain. Then, as I was massaging the shampoo into her hair thinking about every possible scenario of what he did to her and of every possible thing I planned on doing to him back, she kissed me!
My eyes opened wide, but I let my lips on hers anyway. I might have been shocked, I may have even liked it, but when she moved in for more, I gently pushed her back. “I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“I shouldn’t have done it,” she replied, and cried some more.
Evan
As I’m stocking shelves in the back of Pete’s Convenience Store a few hours into my shift, I hear Kelsie and Derrick walk in the front door. I know it’s them because I would recognize their bickering anywhere. They are having a ‘discussion’ about the amount of time he spends playing video games. It makes me laugh. When their disagreement stops abruptly, I peek around the shelf and see them looking around the store, presumably for me. Bree comes out from the office behind the front desk, greeting them with a happy hello and a bright smile, but Kelsie spots me and hurries my way without giving Bree a second glance.
I frown. At least Derrick has manners. He gives Bree a polite nod before following Kelsie to the back of the store.
“What are you guys doing here?” I ask them when they are close enough for me to keep my voice low.
Derrick shrugs. “We were bored.”
“So you decided to come and bug me at work?” I ask, making sure to continue stocking the shelves as I’m talking.
Kelsie grins. “Pretty much.”
“Well, I hate to be a disappointment guys, but I don’t think I’ll be livening up your evening too much. There’s not much going on here.”
Kelsie looks over her shoulder to the front of the store where Bree’s already gone back into the office and out of our sight. “How are things going between the two of you?” she asks, turning back to face me.
“Please tell me you didn’t let her come here to check on me,” I plead to Derrick.
Derrick smiles and scratches the top of his head trying to think of an answer that won’t get him into trouble with either of us. This is often the case for him, stuck in the middle of pretty much anything having to do with the three of us.
When I met Kelsie and Derrick back in the ninth grade they weren’t an item yet. To be honest, I don’t think they were friends at the time either. It wasn’t until I invited the two of them to see a movie with me one night that they got to know each other and hit it off.
Kelsie’s feisty, hardheaded, and high-strung, but she’s incredibly fun. I’ve grown to really care for her over the last three and a half years that I’ve known her. She’s like a sister to me. And I think it’s safe to say that Derrick and I would do anything for her. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t drive me crazy ninety percent of the time I’m around her. Because when it all comes down to it, as much as she likes to pretend she’s not, she’s a girl. And girls… they can be a handful.
Derrick fell hard for Kelsie that night at the movies. He asked me the next day if I was interested in her because he’s just that kind of guy. He didn’t want to move in on her if I had already staked my claim, so to speak. I think ‘bros before hoes’ even escaped his lips though I would never in a million years tell Kelsie that.
But I wasn’t interested, not like that. She is just my friend, who annoys me ninety percent of the time.
Oddly enough though, she doesn’t seem to annoy Derrick at all. I guess that’s what falling in love is like. Being with someone and all of their little quirks aren’t even bothersome. At least that’s my guess anyway, judging by how I see my two best friends with each other.
“You know I can’t control what she does,” Derrick says, interrupting my thoughts. He reaches for her hand, but she playfully swats him away.
I chuckle. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
“So?” Kelsie asks impatiently.
“So, nothing. We haven’t really had a chance to talk. I’m working, in case you forgot.”
She sticks her tongue out at me. “Yeah, yeah. Keep making excuses, Evan.”
“Hey babe, let’s get some snacks for tonight. Maybe order a movie or something?” Derrick says, starting toward the rack of chips.
Kelsie thinks about that for a moment. “Yeah, that would be cool. Evan you want to join us after you get off work?”
From the corner of my eye, I see Derrick at the chip rack shaking his head and mouthing the word ‘no’. I smile. “Nah Kels, thanks, but I’ve got all this extra homework for Chem class to do. Next time.” I glance at Derrick and he gives me a thumbs up. Obviously Derrick has something more planned than simply watching a movie and eating snacks.
Kelsie joins Derrick at the chip rack. “Oh, I love junk food so much. I hope you don’t mind if I get all big and frumpy when I’m old. I’m too much of an addict to stop now.”
I h
ear Derrick laugh as they head toward the cash. “You’ll be hot no matter what, babe. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
I peek around the counter and watch Kelsie, with the most serious look on her face, say to him, “You are so sexy right now.”
I shake my head. Ladies and gentlemen, my friends.
They walk out the door and a few minutes later I get a text from Derrick that I can barely see through the busted screen.
Derrick: Kiss her
If only it were so easy.
Skylar
Bree’s mom is more than happy to have me as company while Bree is gone to work that night. We spend the first few hours after I arrive making and freezing meals while we chat about our favorite television shows. I love spending time with Alice. I always feel so much at ease when I’m around her. She makes everything wrong in my life a distant memory. I can’t help but smile the entire time I’m with her in spite of how horrible my day has been.
“I honestly was thinking of trying that show,” Alice says when I tell her that I’m loving Orange is the New Black. She pours spaghetti sauce into another mason jar adding it to the collection of already filled jars on the counter.
“I’m not sure it’s your type of show,” I say with a laugh.
There is a loud knock at the front door and I jump, startled.
“Are you expecting anyone, dear?” Alice asks as she wipes her hands on her apron and heads toward the front door.
I shake my head, looking at my cell on the table to see if I had missed a text. There’s no text.
“Skylar,” Alice calls from the foyer, “the door is for you, sweetie.”
I walk over to the door curiously. Alice leaves it open a crack and begins back toward the kitchen. She gives me a quick wink as she passes, and I am instantly puzzled. Who could it be? She wouldn’t be acting this way if it were Spencer. We haven’t told her about his sexual orientation, but I have a feeling she already knows, she’s never really warmed up to him over the years.
I take a step out onto the porch and feel my feet freeze in place when I see Parker sitting on the swing in front of the bay window. He looks up at me carefully. I reach for the doorknob and pull the door closed as fast as I can so Alice can’t hear our exchange. My eyes are wide and my entire body begins to tremble. He shakes his head at the sight of my visible fear, but I can’t help reacting the way that I do. Who he is scares me now.
We stare at each other for a long time while I try to find my voice.
“Why are you here?” I eventually whisper.
“You won’t talk to me whenever Bree is around,” he says, defensively.
“That’s because there is nothing to say,” I hiss. “It’s been over a year, Parker. A fucking year! You think I want to talk about it? I don’t even want to remember it!”
“I’m sorry,” he says, raising his voice slightly. “Ok? If you’d just let me explain… please,” his voice trails off.
I shake my head. “And what the fuck do you expect me to do with your explanation? You think that changes anything?”
He takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment, and exhales loudly. “I know it was all my fault… I was hiding from my past and—”
“I don’t care.”
“Sky…”
“No!” I exclaim. “I don’t want anything to do with you. And for a while you seemed to have accepted that, so I don’t know why you've decided all of a sudden that you need to dredge this up again, but save it. I just want you to leave me alone.”
He gets up off of the porch swing and takes a step toward me. I counter his step with a backward step of my own. My eyes drop to the wooden planks of the porch.
“Does Bree know?” he asks quietly, and I jerk my head up to glare at him. He wants to make sure I didn’t tell anyone, that’s what this is all about.
I clench my fists. “Bree doesn’t know any of it. She thinks it was you who attacked me,” I spit angrily.
He hesitates but only for a moment. “Is she your girlfriend now?”
I nod, a bit confused by the question. Is this about him protecting his secret or is it about him seeing me kiss Bree today? “Yes. She’s been my girlfriend for a while now,” I confess.
He takes another step toward me, and this time I manage to stand my ground in spite of the urge I have to move away. I put my hand up to his chest and firmly push him back. “No.” I shake my head. “You have to leave.”
He lifts his hands in exasperation. “Fine. I’m gone. I was never even here.”
“Exactly.”
He crashes down the steps and storms halfway down the walkway before turning around abruptly. “Whatever happened to you telling me that it didn’t matter who I am out here?”
I don’t blink as I stare into his eyes. “I was wrong,” I reply coolly.
He nods slightly, not taking those piercing blue eyes off of mine for even a second. I see a flash of pain emerge on his face and then it disappears just as quickly. He continues down the walkway and kicks one of Alice’s potted plants into the road. I startle and bring my hand to my mouth in surprise as the pot smashes into pieces.
He jogs across the street, and I sit down on the bottom step of the porch trying to calm the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
Just as he jumps the chain-link fence across the street into the park, Spencer pulls into the driveway in the new red Camaro his stepdad bought for him last week.
“What the fuck was that?” Spencer asks, getting out of the car and heading over to me. He peers across the street where Parker is now disappearing out of sight over the horizon.
“I took care of it,” I say, dismissively.
Spencer raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. He lights a cigarette and hands it to me before lighting himself another one. He takes a seat beside me.
“Was it Parker?” he asks after a few minutes.
I nod once. “It was.”
“Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head. “No, he didn’t touch me.”
He clears his throat uneasily, trying to decide if he should pry any further. “Should I be worried about him coming around again?”
I sigh. “You know he didn’t hurt me like Bree thinks he did, right?”
Spencer runs a hand through his perfectly styled brown hair, messing it up completely. My answers are frustrating him. “So you say. But I saw the bruise on your face that night, and your ripped clothes. Someone hurt you.”
I take a long drag of my cigarette and wait a moment before exhaling. “Someone did,” I say. “But it wasn’t Parker.”
He sits in silence for a moment, trying to decide if he should ask me something further and after some contemplation, he does. “Do you know who did?”
I shake my head.
“But Parker does?”
I nod.
He takes in a sharp breath and I can tell that he’s trying to determine if he should ask me the question that neither he nor Bree had ever bothered to ask me before, because they were both so certain they already knew.
“Were you raped?”
There it is. Finally. They just assumed it, and I never said any differently. I couldn’t. Not right then, not when I was too scared of what would happen to me if I did.
I shake my head as a single tear rolls down my cheek. “Parker… stopped him,” I say, brushing the tear away quickly and I can tell that Spencer was not expecting that response at all.
His eyes grow wide and his mouth drops open, as my confession seems to sink in. He gazes at me, almost angrily. “Why didn’t you tell us that?”
“Because it’s better this way.”
“By whose standards, Skylar?” he demands, growling my name. He rarely ever calls me by my name. “Parker’s a rapist in this scenario! Do you know how many times I’ve almost punched that guy in the face? He wouldn’t have even deserved it.”
“I think he would have. He’s responsible for that night. For dragging me into a fucked up world filled with fucked up shi
t, and I want nothing more to do with him. Having you and Bree thinking he was a monster kept him and his scary life away from me.”
“And that’s fair?”
“It’s not fair but it was necessary. I can’t be around him.”
“Why?”
“Because I just can’t.”
“Because you were in love with him,” Spencer accuses.
“No.” I shake my head stubbornly. “He scares me.”
“Now. But you loved him then.”
“I was in love with a lie! Whose side are you on anyway? I am in love with Bree. She’s the real thing. Parker… isn’t.”
He takes another puff of his cigarette before butting it out on the concrete by his foot and chucking it into the grass. “Are you going to tell Bree the whole story?”
“Oh, that’ll go over really well. ‘By the way Bree, not only did Parker Michelson not attack me the night you and I first kissed, but he and I had a secret relationship for nearly a year before that at The Misfit Mansion where we were both members.’ She’ll really love that.”
“It’ll come out either way,” he reminds me.
“Are you going to tell her?” I throw my cigarette butt in the grass next to his and turn to look him in the eye.
He shakes his head sadly. “I haven’t told her anything yet. Why would I start now?”
“I love her, Spencer.”
He nods. “I know you do. That’s why you can’t keep lying to her about your past. She will find out sooner or later. You’re scared to lose her, I get that. But you will lose her anyway if you aren’t honest with her. I know you know that.”
I think about earlier and how she reacted to Evan Daniels’ presence, her body blushing, and her nervousness around him. I’m already losing her and I haven’t even started to tell her about my past yet.
“I’m just not ready yet.”
“Yeah, I know,” he returns solemnly, then lets the topic go.
Bree
All night at work I go over and over what I wanted to say, what I should have said, and what I didn’t say to Parker. I imagine kicking him, punching him, and slapping that smug smile on his face so hard it leaves a handprint. I wish Skylar had reported him back when the attack happened. I should have made her. The regret of not encouraging her to do so, lingers in my mind every time I see his disgusting face.
Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1) Page 6
